the forged coupon()-第24章
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the rich who feels anything like as keenly as I do either the injustice； the
cruelty； and the horror of their oppression of and contempt for the poor； or
the grinding humiliation and misery which befall the great majority of the
workers； the real producers of all that makes life possible。 I have felt this
for a long time； and as the years have passed by the feeling has grown and
grown； until recently it reached its climax。 Although I feel all this so
vividly； I still live on amid the depravity and sins of rich society； and I
cannot leave it； because I have neither the knowledge nor the strength to
do so。 I cannot。 I do not know how to change my life so that my physical
needsfood； sleep； clothing； my going to and fro may be satisfied
without a sense of shame and wrongdoing in the position which I fill。
There was a time when I tried to change my position； which was not in
harmony with my conscience； but the conditions created by the past； by
my family and its claims upon me； were so complicated that they would
not let me out of their grasp； or rather； I did not know how to free myself。 I
had not the strength。 Now that I am over eighty and have become feeble；
I have given up trying to free myself； and； strange to say； as my feebleness
increases I realise more and more strongly the wrongfulness of my
position； and it grows more and more intolerable to me。
It has occurred to me that I do not occupy this position for nothing：
that Providence intended that I should lay bare the truth of my feelings； so
that I might atone for all that causes my suffering； and might perhaps open
the eyes of thoseor at least of some of those who are still blind to what
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I see so clearly； and thus might lighten the burden of that vast majority
who； under existing conditions； are subjected to bodily and spiritual
suffering by those who deceive them and also deceive themselves。
Indeed； it may be that the position which I occupy gives me special
facilities for revealing the artificial and criminal relations which exist
between men for telling the whole truth in regard to that position without
confusing the issue by attempting to vindicate myself； and without rousing
the envy of the rich and feelings of oppression in the hearts of the poor
and downtrodden。 I am so placed that I not only have no desire to
vindicate myself； but； on the contrary； I find it necessary to make an effort
lest I should exaggerate the wickedness of the great among whom I live； of
whose society I am ashamed； whose attitude towards their fellow…men I
detest with my whole soul； though I find it impossible to separate my lot
from theirs。 But I must also avoid the error of those democrats and others
who； in defending the oppressed and the enslaved； do not see their failings
and mistakes； and who do not make sufficient allowance for the
difficulties created； the mistakes inherited from the past； which in a degree
lessens the responsibility of the upper classes。
Free from desire for self…vindication； free from fear of an emancipated
people； free from that envy and hatred which the oppressed feel for their
oppressors； I am in the best possible position to see the truth and to tell it。
Perhaps that is why Providence placed me in such a position。 I will do my
best to turn it to account。
II
Alexander Ivanovich Volgin； a bachelor and a clerk in a Moscow
bank at a salary of eight thousand roubles a year； a man much respected in
his own set； was staying in a country…house。 His host was a wealthy
landowner； owning some twenty…five hundred acres； and had married his
guest's cousin。 Volgin； tired after an evening spent in playing vint* for
small stakes with ＇* A game of cards similar to auction bridge。＇ members
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of the family； went to his room and placed his watch； silver cigarette…case；
pocket…book； big leather purse； and pocket…brush and comb on a small
table covered with a white cloth； and then； taking off his coat； waistcoat；
shirt； trousers； and underclothes； his silk socks and English boots； put on
his nightshirt and dressing…gown。 His watch pointed to midnight。 Volgin
smoked a cigarette； lay on his face for about five minutes reviewing the
day's impressions； then； blowing out his candle； he turned over on his side
and fell asleep about one o'clock； in spite of a good deal of restlessness。
Awaking next morning at eight he put on his slippers and dressing…gown；
and rang the bell。
The old butler； Stephen； the father of a
family and the grandfather of six grandchildren； who had served in
that house for thirty years； entered the room hurriedly； with bent legs；
carrying in the newly blackened boots which Volgin had taken off the
night before； a well…brushed suit； and a clean shirt。 The guest thanked him；
and then asked what the weather was like （the blinds were drawn so that
the sun should not prevent any one from sleeping till eleven o'clock if he
were so inclined）； and whether his hosts had slept well。 He glanced at his
watchit was still earlyand began to wash and dress。 His water was
ready； and everything on the washing…stand and dressing…table was ready
for use and properly laid out his soap； his tooth and hair brushes； his nail
scissors and files。 He washed his hands and face in a leisurely fashion；
cleaned and manicured his nails； pushed back the skin with the towel； and
sponged his stout white body from head to foot。 Then he began to brush
his hair。 Standing in front of the mirror； he first brushed his curly beard；
which was beginning to turn grey； with two English brushes； parting it
down the middle。 Then he combed his hair； which was already showing
signs of getting thin； with a large tortoise…shell comb。 Putting on his
underlinen； his socks； his boots； his trousers which were held up by
elegant bracesand his waistcoat； he sat down coatless in an easy chair to
rest after dressing； lit a cigarette； and began to think where he should go
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for a walk that morningto the park or to Littleports （what a funny name
for a wood！）。 He thought he would go to Littleports。 Then he must answer
Simon Nicholaevich's letter； but there was time enough for that。 Getting
up with an air of resolution； he took out his watch。 It was already five
minutes to nine。 He put his watch into his waistcoat pocket； and his purse…
… with all that was left of the hundred and eighty roubles he had taken for
his journey； and for the incidental expenses of his fortnight's stay with his
cousinand then he placed into his trouser pocket his cigarette…case and
electric cigarette…lighter； and two clean handkerchiefs into his coat pockets；
and went out of the room； leaving as usual the mess and confusion which
he had made to be cleared up by Stephen； an old man of over fifty。
Stephen expected Volgin to 〃remunerate〃 him； as he said； being so
accustomed to the work that he did not feel the slightest repugnance for it。
Glancing at a mirror； and feeling satisfied with his appearance； Volgin
went into the dining…room。
There； thanks to the efforts of the housekeeper； the footman； and
under…butlerthe latter had risen at dawn in order to run home to sharpen
his son's scythebreakfast was ready。 On a spotless white cloth stood a
boiling； shiny； silver samovar （at least it looked like silver）； a coffee…pot；
hot milk； cream； butter； and all sorts of fancy white bread and biscuits。 The
only persons at table were the second son of the house； his tutor （a
student）； and the secretary。 The host； who was an active member of the
Zemstvo and a great farmer； had already left the house； having gone at
eight o'clock to attend to his work。 Volgin； while drinking his coffee；
talked to the student and the secretary about the weather； and yesterday's
vint； and discussed Theodorite's peculiar behaviour the night before； as he
had been very rude to his father without the slightest cause。 Theodorite
was the grown…up son of the house； and a ne'er…do…well。 His name was
Theodore； but some one had once called him Theodorite either as a joke or
to tease him； and； as it seemed funny； the name stuck to him； although his
doings were no longer in the least amusing。 So it was now。 He had been
to the university； but left it in his second year； and joined a regiment of
horse guards； but he gave that up also； and was now living in the country；
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doing nothing； finding fault； and feeling discontented with everything。
Theodorite was still in bed： so were the other members of the household…
…Anna Mikhailovna； its mistress； her sister； the widow of a general； and a
landscape painter who lived with the family。
Volgin took his panama hat from the hall table （it had cost twenty
roubles） and his cane with its carved ivory handle； and went out。
Crossing the veranda； gay with flowers； he walked through the flower
garden； in the centre of which was a raised round bed； with rings of red；
white； and blue flowers； and the initials of the mistress of the house done
in carpet bedding in the centre。 Leaving the flower garden Volgin
entered the avenue of lime trees； hundreds of years old； which peasant
girls were tidying and sweeping with spades and brooms。 The gardener
was busy
