latter-day pamphlets-第18章

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nd　formalities；　an　embroiled　reticulation　made　of　web…listings　and　superannuated　thrums　and　tatters；　endurable　to　no　grown　Nation　as　a　coat；　is　mournfully　clear！

Two　kinds　of　fundamental　error　are　supposable　in　such　a　set　of　Offices；　these　two；　acting　and　reacting；　are　the　vice　of　all　inefficient　Offices　whatever。_First_；　that　the　work；　such　as　it　may　be；　is　ill　done　in　these　establishments。　　That　it　is　delayed；　neglected；　slurred　over；　committed　to　hands　that　cannot　do　it　well；　that；　in　a　word；　the　questions　sent　thither　are　not　wisely　handled；　but　unwisely；　not　decided　truly　and　rapidly；　but　with　delays　and　wrong　at　last：　　which　is　the　principal　character；　and　the　infallible　result；　of　an　insufficient　Intellect　being　set　to　decide　them。　Or　_second_；　what　is　still　fataler；　the　work　done　there　may　itself　be　quite　the　wrong　kind　of　work。　　Not　the　kind　of　supervision　and　direction　which　Colonies；　and　other　such　interests；　Home　or　Foreign；　do　by　the　nature　of　them　require　from　the　Central　Government；　not　that；　but　a　quite　other　kind！　The　Sotomayor　correspondence；　for　example；　is　considered　by　many　persons　not　to　be　mismanaged　merely；　but　to　be　a　thing　which　should　never　have　been　managed　at　all；　a　quite　superfluous　concern；　which　and　the　like　of　which　the　British　Government　has　almost　no　call　to　get　into；　at　this　new　epoch　of　time。　　And　not　Sotomayor　only；　nor　Sapienza　only；　in　regard　to　that　Foreign　Office；　but　innumerable　other　things；　if　our　witty　friend　of　the　〃live　coal〃　have　reason　in　him！　　Of　the　Colonial　Office；　too；　it　is　urged　that　the　questions　they　decide　and　operate　upon　are；　in　very　great　part；　questions　which　they　never　should　have　meddled　with；　but　almost　all　of　which　should　have　been　decided　in　the　Colonies　themselves；Mother　Country　or　Colonial　Office　reserving　its　energy　for　a　quite　other　class　of　objects；　which　are　terribly　neglected　just　now。

These　are　the　two　vices　that　beset　Government　Offices；　both　of　them　originating　in　insufficient　Intellect；that　sad　insufficiency　from　which；　directly　or　indirectly；　all　evil　whatsoever　springs！　　And　these　two　vices　act　and　react；　so　that　where　the　one　is；　the　other　is　sure　to　be；　and　each　encouraging　the　growth　of　the　other；　both　（if　some　cleaning　of　the　Augeas　stable　have　not　intervened　for　a　long　while）　will　be　found　in　frightful　development。　　You　cannot　have　your　work　well　done；　if　the　work　be　not　of　a　right　kind；　if　it　be　not　work　prescribed　by

the　law　of　Nature　as　well　as　by　the　rules　of　the　office。　　Laziness；　which　lies　in　wait　round　all　human　labor…offices；　will　in　that　case　infallibly　leak　in；　and　vitiate　the　doing　of　the　work。　　The　work　is　but　idle；　if　the　doing　of　it　will　but　pass；　what　need　of　more？　　The　essential　problem；　as　the　rules　of　office　prescribe　it　for　you；　if　Nature　and　Fact　say　nothing；　is　that　your　work　be　got　to　pass；　if　the　work　itself　is　worth　nothing；　or　little　or　an　uncertain　quantity；　what　more　can　gods　or　men　require　of　it；　or；　above　all；　can　I　who　am　the　doer　of　it　require；　but　that　it　be　got　to　pass？

And　now　enters　another　fatal　effect；　the　mother　of　ever…new　mischiefs；　which　renders　well…doing　or　improvement　impossible；　and　drives　bad　everywhere　continually　into　worse。　　The　work　being　what　we　see；　a　stupid　subaltern　will　do　as　well　as　a　gifted　one；　the　essential　point　is；　that　he　be　a　quiet　one；　and　do　not　bother　me　who　have　the　driving　of　him。　　Nay；　for　this　latter　object；　is　not　a　certain　height　of　intelligence　even　dangerous？　I　want　no　mettled　Arab　horse；　with　his　flashing　glances；　arched；　neck　and　elastic　step；　to　draw　my　wretched　sand…cart　through　the　streets；　a　broken；　grass…fed　galloway；　Irish　garron；　or　painful　ass　with　nothing　in　the　belly　of　him　but　patience　and　furze；　will　do　it　safelier　for　me；　if　more　slowly。　Nay　I　myself；　am　I　the　worse　for　being　of　a　feeble　order　of　intelligence；　what　the　irreverent　speculative；　world　calls　barren；　red…tapish；　limited；　and　even　intrinsically　dark　and　small；　and　if　it　must　be　said；　stupid？To　such　a　climax　does　it　come　in　all　Government　and　other　Offices；　where　Human　Stupidity　has　once　introduced　itself　（as　it　will　everywhere　do）；　and　no　Scavenger　God　intervenes。　　The　work；　at　first　of　some　worth；　is　ill　done；　and　becomes　of　less　worth　and　of　ever　less；　and　finally　of　none：　　the　worthless　work　can　now　_afford_　to　be　ill　done；　and　Human　Stupidity；　at　a　double　geometrical　ratio；　with　frightful　expansion　grows　and　accumulates；towards　the　unendurable。

The　reforming　Hercules；　Sir　Robert　Peel　or　whoever　he　is　to　be；　that　enters　Downing　Street；　will　ask　himself　this　question　first　of　all；　What　work　is　now　necessary；　not　in　form　and　by　traditionary　use　and　wont；　but　in　very　fact；　for　the　vital　interests　of　the　British　Nation；　to　be　done　here？　　The　second　question；　How　to　get　it　well　done；　and　to　keep　the　best　hands　doing　it　well；　will　be　greatly　simplified　by　a　good　answer　to　that。　　Oh　for　an　eye　that　could　see　in　those　hideous　mazes；　and　a　heart　that　could　dare　and　do！　　Strenuous　faithful　scrutiny；　not　of　what　is　_thought_　to　be　what　in　the　red…tape　regions；　but　of　what　really　is　what　in　the　realms　of　Fact　and　Nature　herself；　deep…seeing；　wise　and　courageous　eyes；　that　could　look　through　innumerable　cobweb　veils；　and　detect　what　fact　or　no…fact　lies　at　heart　of　them；how　invaluable　these！　　For；　alas；　it　is　long　since　such　eyes　were　much　in　the　habit　of　looking　steadfastly　at　any　department　of　our　affairs；　and　poor　commonplace　creatures；　helping　themselves　along；　in　the　way　of　makeshift；　from　year　to　year；　in　such　an　element；　do　wonderful　works　indeed。　　Such　creatures；　like　moles；　are　safe　only　underground；　and　their　engineerings　there　become　very　daedalean。　　In　fact；　such　unfortunate　persons　have　no　resource　but　to　become　what　we　call　Pedants；　to　ensconce　themselves　in　a　safe　world　of　habitudes；　of　applicable　or　inapplicable　traditions；　not　coveting；　rather　avoiding　the　general　daylight　of　common…sense；　as　very　extraneous　to　them　and　their　procedure；　by　long　persistence　in　which　course　they　become　Completed　Pedants；　hidebound；　impenetrable；　able　to　_defy_　the　hostile　extraneous　element；　an　alarming　kind　of　men；　Such　men；　left　to　themselves　for　a　century　or　two；　in　any　Colonial；　Foreign；　or　other　Office；　will　make　a　terrible　affair　of　it！

For　the　one　enemy　we　have　in　this　Universe　is　Stupidity；　Darkness　of　Mind；　of　which　darkness；　again；　there　are　many　sources；　every　_sin_　a　source；　and　probably　self…conceit　the　chief　source。　　Darkness　of　mind；　in　every　kind　and　variety；　does　to　a　really　tragic　extent　abound：　　but　of　all　the　kinds　of　darkness；　surely　the　Pedant　darkness；　which　asserts　and　believes　itself　to　be　light；　is　the　most　formidable　to　mankind！　　For　empires　or　for　individuals　there　is　but　one　class　of　men　to　be　trembled　at；　and　that　is　the　Stupid　Class；　the　class　that　cannot　see；　who　alas　are　they　mainly　that　will　not　see。　　A　class　of　mortals　under　which　as　administrators；　kings；　priests；　diplomatists；　&c。；　the　interests　of　mankind　in　every　European　country　have　sunk　overloaded；　as　under　universal　nightmare；　near　to　extinction；　and　indeed　are　at　this　moment　convulsively　writhing；　decided　either　to　throw　off　the　unblessed　superincumbent　nightmare；　or　roll　themselves　and　it　to　the　Abyss。　　Vain　to　reform　Parliament；　to　invent　ballot…boxes；　to　reform　this　or　that；　the　real　Administration；　practical　Management　of　the　Commonwealth；　goes　all　awry；　choked　up　with　long…accumulated　pedantries；　so　that　your　appointed　workers　have　been　reduced　to　work　as　moles；　and　it　is　one　vast　boring　and　counter…boring；　on　the　part　of　eyeless　persons　irreverently　called　stupid；　and　a　daedalean　bewilderment；　writing　〃impossible〃　on　all　efforts　or　proposals；　supervenes。


The　State　itself；　not　in　Downing　Street　alone　but　in　every　department　of　it；　has　altered　much　from　what　it　was　in　past　times；　and　it　will　again　have　to　alter　very　much；　to　alter　I　think　from　top　to　bottom；　if　it　means　to　continue　existing　in　the　times　that　are　now　coming　and　come！

The　State；　left　to　shape　itself　by　dim　pedantries　and　traditions；　without　distinctness　of　conviction；　or　purpose　beyond　that　of　helping　itself　over　the　difficulty　of　the　hour；　has　become；　instead　of　a　luminous　vitality　permeating　with　its　light　all　provinces　of　our　affairs；　a　most　monstrous　agglomerate　of　inanities；　as　little　adapted　for　the　actual　wants　of　a　modern　community　as　the　worst　citizen　need　wish。　　The　thing　it　is　doing　is　by　no　means　the　thing　we　want　to　have　done。　　What　we　want！　　Let　the　dullest　British　man　endeavor　to　raise　in　his　mind　this　question；　and　ask　himself　in　sincerity　what　the　British　Nation　wants　at　this　time。　　Is　it　to　have；　with　endless　jargoning；　debating；　motioning　and　counter…motioning；　a　settlement　effected　between　the　Honorable　Mr。　This　and　the　Honorable　Mr。　That；　as　to　their　respective　pretensions　to　ride　the　high　horse？　　Really　it　is　unimportant　which　of　them　ride　it。　　Going　upon　past　experience　long　continued　now；　I　should　say　with　brevity；　〃Either　of　themNeither　of　them。〃　　If　our　Government　is　to　be　a　No…Government；　what　is　the　matter　who　administers　it？　　Fling　an　orange…skin　into　St。　James's　Street；　let　the　man　it　hits　be　your　man。　　He；　if　you　breed　him　a　little　to　it；　and　tie　the　due　official　bladders　to　his　ankles；　will　do　as　well　as　another　this　sublime　problem　of　balancing　himself　upon　the　vortexes；　with　the　long　loaded…pole　in　his　hands；　and　will；　with　straddling　painful　gestures；　float　hither　and　thither；　walking　the　waters　in　that　singular　manner　for　a　little　while；　as　well　as　his　foregoers　did；　till　he　also　capsize；　and　be　left　floating　feet　uppermost；　after　which　you　choose　another。

What　an　immense　pother；　by　parliamenting　and　palavering　in　all　corners　of　your　empire；　to　decide　such　a　question　as　that！　　I　say；　if　that　is　the　function；　almost　any　human　creature　can　learn　to　discharge　it：　　fling　out　your　orange…skin　again；　and　save　an　incalculable　labor；　and　an　emission　of　nonsense　and　falsity；　and　electioneering　beer　and　bribery　and　balderdash；　which　is　terrible　to　think　of；　in　deciding。　　Your　National　Parliament；　in　so　far　as　it　has　only　that　question　to　decide；　may　be　considered　as　an　enormous　National　Palaver　existing　mainly　for　imaginary　purposes；　and　certain；　in　these　days　of　abbreviated　labor；　to　get　itself　sent　home　again　to　its　partridge…shootings；　fox…huntings；　and　above　all；　to　its　rat…catchings；　if　it　could　but　understand　the　time　of　day；　and　know　（as　our　indignant　Crabbe　remarks）　that　〃the　real　Nimrod　of　this　era；　who　alone　does　any　good　to　the　era；　is　the　rat…catcher！〃

The　notion　that　any　Government　is　or　can　be　a　No…Government；　without　the　deadliest　peril　to　all　noble　interests　of　the　Commonwealth；　and　by　degrees　slower　or　swifter　to　all　ignoble　ones　also；　and　to　the　very　gully…drains；　and　thief　lodging…houses；　and　Mosaic　sweating　establishments；　and　at　last　without　destruction　to　such　No…Government　itself；was　never　my　notion；　and　I　hope　it　will　soon　cease　altogether　to　be　the　world's　or　to　be　anybody's。　But　if　it　be　the　correct　notion；　as　the　world　seems　at　present　to　flatter　itself；　I　point　out　improvements　and　abbreviations。　　Dismiss　your　National　Palaver；　make　the　_Times_　Newspaper　your　National　Palaver；　which　needs　no　beer…barrels　or　hustings；　and　is　_cheaper_　in　expense　of　money　and　of　falsity　a　thousand