latter-day pamphlets-µÚ18ÕÂ
°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿£¡
¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ªÎ´ÔĶÁÍꣿ¼ÓÈëÊéÇ©ÒѱãÏ´μÌÐøÔĶÁ£¡
nd¡¡formalities£»¡¡an¡¡embroiled¡¡reticulation¡¡made¡¡of¡¡web¡listings¡¡and¡¡superannuated¡¡thrums¡¡and¡¡tatters£»¡¡endurable¡¡to¡¡no¡¡grown¡¡Nation¡¡as¡¡a¡¡coat£»¡¡is¡¡mournfully¡¡clear£¡
Two¡¡kinds¡¡of¡¡fundamental¡¡error¡¡are¡¡supposable¡¡in¡¡such¡¡a¡¡set¡¡of¡¡Offices£»¡¡these¡¡two£»¡¡acting¡¡and¡¡reacting£»¡¡are¡¡the¡¡vice¡¡of¡¡all¡¡inefficient¡¡Offices¡¡whatever¡£_First_£»¡¡that¡¡the¡¡work£»¡¡such¡¡as¡¡it¡¡may¡¡be£»¡¡is¡¡ill¡¡done¡¡in¡¡these¡¡establishments¡£¡¡¡¡That¡¡it¡¡is¡¡delayed£»¡¡neglected£»¡¡slurred¡¡over£»¡¡committed¡¡to¡¡hands¡¡that¡¡cannot¡¡do¡¡it¡¡well£»¡¡that£»¡¡in¡¡a¡¡word£»¡¡the¡¡questions¡¡sent¡¡thither¡¡are¡¡not¡¡wisely¡¡handled£»¡¡but¡¡unwisely£»¡¡not¡¡decided¡¡truly¡¡and¡¡rapidly£»¡¡but¡¡with¡¡delays¡¡and¡¡wrong¡¡at¡¡last£º¡¡¡¡which¡¡is¡¡the¡¡principal¡¡character£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡infallible¡¡result£»¡¡of¡¡an¡¡insufficient¡¡Intellect¡¡being¡¡set¡¡to¡¡decide¡¡them¡£¡¡Or¡¡_second_£»¡¡what¡¡is¡¡still¡¡fataler£»¡¡the¡¡work¡¡done¡¡there¡¡may¡¡itself¡¡be¡¡quite¡¡the¡¡wrong¡¡kind¡¡of¡¡work¡£¡¡¡¡Not¡¡the¡¡kind¡¡of¡¡supervision¡¡and¡¡direction¡¡which¡¡Colonies£»¡¡and¡¡other¡¡such¡¡interests£»¡¡Home¡¡or¡¡Foreign£»¡¡do¡¡by¡¡the¡¡nature¡¡of¡¡them¡¡require¡¡from¡¡the¡¡Central¡¡Government£»¡¡not¡¡that£»¡¡but¡¡a¡¡quite¡¡other¡¡kind£¡¡¡The¡¡Sotomayor¡¡correspondence£»¡¡for¡¡example£»¡¡is¡¡considered¡¡by¡¡many¡¡persons¡¡not¡¡to¡¡be¡¡mismanaged¡¡merely£»¡¡but¡¡to¡¡be¡¡a¡¡thing¡¡which¡¡should¡¡never¡¡have¡¡been¡¡managed¡¡at¡¡all£»¡¡a¡¡quite¡¡superfluous¡¡concern£»¡¡which¡¡and¡¡the¡¡like¡¡of¡¡which¡¡the¡¡British¡¡Government¡¡has¡¡almost¡¡no¡¡call¡¡to¡¡get¡¡into£»¡¡at¡¡this¡¡new¡¡epoch¡¡of¡¡time¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡not¡¡Sotomayor¡¡only£»¡¡nor¡¡Sapienza¡¡only£»¡¡in¡¡regard¡¡to¡¡that¡¡Foreign¡¡Office£»¡¡but¡¡innumerable¡¡other¡¡things£»¡¡if¡¡our¡¡witty¡¡friend¡¡of¡¡the¡¡¡¨live¡¡coal¡¨¡¡have¡¡reason¡¡in¡¡him£¡¡¡¡¡Of¡¡the¡¡Colonial¡¡Office£»¡¡too£»¡¡it¡¡is¡¡urged¡¡that¡¡the¡¡questions¡¡they¡¡decide¡¡and¡¡operate¡¡upon¡¡are£»¡¡in¡¡very¡¡great¡¡part£»¡¡questions¡¡which¡¡they¡¡never¡¡should¡¡have¡¡meddled¡¡with£»¡¡but¡¡almost¡¡all¡¡of¡¡which¡¡should¡¡have¡¡been¡¡decided¡¡in¡¡the¡¡Colonies¡¡themselves£»Mother¡¡Country¡¡or¡¡Colonial¡¡Office¡¡reserving¡¡its¡¡energy¡¡for¡¡a¡¡quite¡¡other¡¡class¡¡of¡¡objects£»¡¡which¡¡are¡¡terribly¡¡neglected¡¡just¡¡now¡£
These¡¡are¡¡the¡¡two¡¡vices¡¡that¡¡beset¡¡Government¡¡Offices£»¡¡both¡¡of¡¡them¡¡originating¡¡in¡¡insufficient¡¡Intellect£»that¡¡sad¡¡insufficiency¡¡from¡¡which£»¡¡directly¡¡or¡¡indirectly£»¡¡all¡¡evil¡¡whatsoever¡¡springs£¡¡¡¡¡And¡¡these¡¡two¡¡vices¡¡act¡¡and¡¡react£»¡¡so¡¡that¡¡where¡¡the¡¡one¡¡is£»¡¡the¡¡other¡¡is¡¡sure¡¡to¡¡be£»¡¡and¡¡each¡¡encouraging¡¡the¡¡growth¡¡of¡¡the¡¡other£»¡¡both¡¡£¨if¡¡some¡¡cleaning¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Augeas¡¡stable¡¡have¡¡not¡¡intervened¡¡for¡¡a¡¡long¡¡while£©¡¡will¡¡be¡¡found¡¡in¡¡frightful¡¡development¡£¡¡¡¡You¡¡cannot¡¡have¡¡your¡¡work¡¡well¡¡done£»¡¡if¡¡the¡¡work¡¡be¡¡not¡¡of¡¡a¡¡right¡¡kind£»¡¡if¡¡it¡¡be¡¡not¡¡work¡¡prescribed¡¡by
the¡¡law¡¡of¡¡Nature¡¡as¡¡well¡¡as¡¡by¡¡the¡¡rules¡¡of¡¡the¡¡office¡£¡¡¡¡Laziness£»¡¡which¡¡lies¡¡in¡¡wait¡¡round¡¡all¡¡human¡¡labor¡offices£»¡¡will¡¡in¡¡that¡¡case¡¡infallibly¡¡leak¡¡in£»¡¡and¡¡vitiate¡¡the¡¡doing¡¡of¡¡the¡¡work¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡work¡¡is¡¡but¡¡idle£»¡¡if¡¡the¡¡doing¡¡of¡¡it¡¡will¡¡but¡¡pass£»¡¡what¡¡need¡¡of¡¡more£¿¡¡¡¡The¡¡essential¡¡problem£»¡¡as¡¡the¡¡rules¡¡of¡¡office¡¡prescribe¡¡it¡¡for¡¡you£»¡¡if¡¡Nature¡¡and¡¡Fact¡¡say¡¡nothing£»¡¡is¡¡that¡¡your¡¡work¡¡be¡¡got¡¡to¡¡pass£»¡¡if¡¡the¡¡work¡¡itself¡¡is¡¡worth¡¡nothing£»¡¡or¡¡little¡¡or¡¡an¡¡uncertain¡¡quantity£»¡¡what¡¡more¡¡can¡¡gods¡¡or¡¡men¡¡require¡¡of¡¡it£»¡¡or£»¡¡above¡¡all£»¡¡can¡¡I¡¡who¡¡am¡¡the¡¡doer¡¡of¡¡it¡¡require£»¡¡but¡¡that¡¡it¡¡be¡¡got¡¡to¡¡pass£¿
And¡¡now¡¡enters¡¡another¡¡fatal¡¡effect£»¡¡the¡¡mother¡¡of¡¡ever¡new¡¡mischiefs£»¡¡which¡¡renders¡¡well¡doing¡¡or¡¡improvement¡¡impossible£»¡¡and¡¡drives¡¡bad¡¡everywhere¡¡continually¡¡into¡¡worse¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡work¡¡being¡¡what¡¡we¡¡see£»¡¡a¡¡stupid¡¡subaltern¡¡will¡¡do¡¡as¡¡well¡¡as¡¡a¡¡gifted¡¡one£»¡¡the¡¡essential¡¡point¡¡is£»¡¡that¡¡he¡¡be¡¡a¡¡quiet¡¡one£»¡¡and¡¡do¡¡not¡¡bother¡¡me¡¡who¡¡have¡¡the¡¡driving¡¡of¡¡him¡£¡¡¡¡Nay£»¡¡for¡¡this¡¡latter¡¡object£»¡¡is¡¡not¡¡a¡¡certain¡¡height¡¡of¡¡intelligence¡¡even¡¡dangerous£¿¡¡I¡¡want¡¡no¡¡mettled¡¡Arab¡¡horse£»¡¡with¡¡his¡¡flashing¡¡glances£»¡¡arched£»¡¡neck¡¡and¡¡elastic¡¡step£»¡¡to¡¡draw¡¡my¡¡wretched¡¡sand¡cart¡¡through¡¡the¡¡streets£»¡¡a¡¡broken£»¡¡grass¡fed¡¡galloway£»¡¡Irish¡¡garron£»¡¡or¡¡painful¡¡ass¡¡with¡¡nothing¡¡in¡¡the¡¡belly¡¡of¡¡him¡¡but¡¡patience¡¡and¡¡furze£»¡¡will¡¡do¡¡it¡¡safelier¡¡for¡¡me£»¡¡if¡¡more¡¡slowly¡£¡¡Nay¡¡I¡¡myself£»¡¡am¡¡I¡¡the¡¡worse¡¡for¡¡being¡¡of¡¡a¡¡feeble¡¡order¡¡of¡¡intelligence£»¡¡what¡¡the¡¡irreverent¡¡speculative£»¡¡world¡¡calls¡¡barren£»¡¡red¡tapish£»¡¡limited£»¡¡and¡¡even¡¡intrinsically¡¡dark¡¡and¡¡small£»¡¡and¡¡if¡¡it¡¡must¡¡be¡¡said£»¡¡stupid£¿To¡¡such¡¡a¡¡climax¡¡does¡¡it¡¡come¡¡in¡¡all¡¡Government¡¡and¡¡other¡¡Offices£»¡¡where¡¡Human¡¡Stupidity¡¡has¡¡once¡¡introduced¡¡itself¡¡£¨as¡¡it¡¡will¡¡everywhere¡¡do£©£»¡¡and¡¡no¡¡Scavenger¡¡God¡¡intervenes¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡work£»¡¡at¡¡first¡¡of¡¡some¡¡worth£»¡¡is¡¡ill¡¡done£»¡¡and¡¡becomes¡¡of¡¡less¡¡worth¡¡and¡¡of¡¡ever¡¡less£»¡¡and¡¡finally¡¡of¡¡none£º¡¡¡¡the¡¡worthless¡¡work¡¡can¡¡now¡¡_afford_¡¡to¡¡be¡¡ill¡¡done£»¡¡and¡¡Human¡¡Stupidity£»¡¡at¡¡a¡¡double¡¡geometrical¡¡ratio£»¡¡with¡¡frightful¡¡expansion¡¡grows¡¡and¡¡accumulates£»towards¡¡the¡¡unendurable¡£
The¡¡reforming¡¡Hercules£»¡¡Sir¡¡Robert¡¡Peel¡¡or¡¡whoever¡¡he¡¡is¡¡to¡¡be£»¡¡that¡¡enters¡¡Downing¡¡Street£»¡¡will¡¡ask¡¡himself¡¡this¡¡question¡¡first¡¡of¡¡all£»¡¡What¡¡work¡¡is¡¡now¡¡necessary£»¡¡not¡¡in¡¡form¡¡and¡¡by¡¡traditionary¡¡use¡¡and¡¡wont£»¡¡but¡¡in¡¡very¡¡fact£»¡¡for¡¡the¡¡vital¡¡interests¡¡of¡¡the¡¡British¡¡Nation£»¡¡to¡¡be¡¡done¡¡here£¿¡¡¡¡The¡¡second¡¡question£»¡¡How¡¡to¡¡get¡¡it¡¡well¡¡done£»¡¡and¡¡to¡¡keep¡¡the¡¡best¡¡hands¡¡doing¡¡it¡¡well£»¡¡will¡¡be¡¡greatly¡¡simplified¡¡by¡¡a¡¡good¡¡answer¡¡to¡¡that¡£¡¡¡¡Oh¡¡for¡¡an¡¡eye¡¡that¡¡could¡¡see¡¡in¡¡those¡¡hideous¡¡mazes£»¡¡and¡¡a¡¡heart¡¡that¡¡could¡¡dare¡¡and¡¡do£¡¡¡¡¡Strenuous¡¡faithful¡¡scrutiny£»¡¡not¡¡of¡¡what¡¡is¡¡_thought_¡¡to¡¡be¡¡what¡¡in¡¡the¡¡red¡tape¡¡regions£»¡¡but¡¡of¡¡what¡¡really¡¡is¡¡what¡¡in¡¡the¡¡realms¡¡of¡¡Fact¡¡and¡¡Nature¡¡herself£»¡¡deep¡seeing£»¡¡wise¡¡and¡¡courageous¡¡eyes£»¡¡that¡¡could¡¡look¡¡through¡¡innumerable¡¡cobweb¡¡veils£»¡¡and¡¡detect¡¡what¡¡fact¡¡or¡¡no¡fact¡¡lies¡¡at¡¡heart¡¡of¡¡them£»how¡¡invaluable¡¡these£¡¡¡¡¡For£»¡¡alas£»¡¡it¡¡is¡¡long¡¡since¡¡such¡¡eyes¡¡were¡¡much¡¡in¡¡the¡¡habit¡¡of¡¡looking¡¡steadfastly¡¡at¡¡any¡¡department¡¡of¡¡our¡¡affairs£»¡¡and¡¡poor¡¡commonplace¡¡creatures£»¡¡helping¡¡themselves¡¡along£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡way¡¡of¡¡makeshift£»¡¡from¡¡year¡¡to¡¡year£»¡¡in¡¡such¡¡an¡¡element£»¡¡do¡¡wonderful¡¡works¡¡indeed¡£¡¡¡¡Such¡¡creatures£»¡¡like¡¡moles£»¡¡are¡¡safe¡¡only¡¡underground£»¡¡and¡¡their¡¡engineerings¡¡there¡¡become¡¡very¡¡daedalean¡£¡¡¡¡In¡¡fact£»¡¡such¡¡unfortunate¡¡persons¡¡have¡¡no¡¡resource¡¡but¡¡to¡¡become¡¡what¡¡we¡¡call¡¡Pedants£»¡¡to¡¡ensconce¡¡themselves¡¡in¡¡a¡¡safe¡¡world¡¡of¡¡habitudes£»¡¡of¡¡applicable¡¡or¡¡inapplicable¡¡traditions£»¡¡not¡¡coveting£»¡¡rather¡¡avoiding¡¡the¡¡general¡¡daylight¡¡of¡¡common¡sense£»¡¡as¡¡very¡¡extraneous¡¡to¡¡them¡¡and¡¡their¡¡procedure£»¡¡by¡¡long¡¡persistence¡¡in¡¡which¡¡course¡¡they¡¡become¡¡Completed¡¡Pedants£»¡¡hidebound£»¡¡impenetrable£»¡¡able¡¡to¡¡_defy_¡¡the¡¡hostile¡¡extraneous¡¡element£»¡¡an¡¡alarming¡¡kind¡¡of¡¡men£»¡¡Such¡¡men£»¡¡left¡¡to¡¡themselves¡¡for¡¡a¡¡century¡¡or¡¡two£»¡¡in¡¡any¡¡Colonial£»¡¡Foreign£»¡¡or¡¡other¡¡Office£»¡¡will¡¡make¡¡a¡¡terrible¡¡affair¡¡of¡¡it£¡
For¡¡the¡¡one¡¡enemy¡¡we¡¡have¡¡in¡¡this¡¡Universe¡¡is¡¡Stupidity£»¡¡Darkness¡¡of¡¡Mind£»¡¡of¡¡which¡¡darkness£»¡¡again£»¡¡there¡¡are¡¡many¡¡sources£»¡¡every¡¡_sin_¡¡a¡¡source£»¡¡and¡¡probably¡¡self¡conceit¡¡the¡¡chief¡¡source¡£¡¡¡¡Darkness¡¡of¡¡mind£»¡¡in¡¡every¡¡kind¡¡and¡¡variety£»¡¡does¡¡to¡¡a¡¡really¡¡tragic¡¡extent¡¡abound£º¡¡¡¡but¡¡of¡¡all¡¡the¡¡kinds¡¡of¡¡darkness£»¡¡surely¡¡the¡¡Pedant¡¡darkness£»¡¡which¡¡asserts¡¡and¡¡believes¡¡itself¡¡to¡¡be¡¡light£»¡¡is¡¡the¡¡most¡¡formidable¡¡to¡¡mankind£¡¡¡¡¡For¡¡empires¡¡or¡¡for¡¡individuals¡¡there¡¡is¡¡but¡¡one¡¡class¡¡of¡¡men¡¡to¡¡be¡¡trembled¡¡at£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡is¡¡the¡¡Stupid¡¡Class£»¡¡the¡¡class¡¡that¡¡cannot¡¡see£»¡¡who¡¡alas¡¡are¡¡they¡¡mainly¡¡that¡¡will¡¡not¡¡see¡£¡¡¡¡A¡¡class¡¡of¡¡mortals¡¡under¡¡which¡¡as¡¡administrators£»¡¡kings£»¡¡priests£»¡¡diplomatists£»¡¡&c¡££»¡¡the¡¡interests¡¡of¡¡mankind¡¡in¡¡every¡¡European¡¡country¡¡have¡¡sunk¡¡overloaded£»¡¡as¡¡under¡¡universal¡¡nightmare£»¡¡near¡¡to¡¡extinction£»¡¡and¡¡indeed¡¡are¡¡at¡¡this¡¡moment¡¡convulsively¡¡writhing£»¡¡decided¡¡either¡¡to¡¡throw¡¡off¡¡the¡¡unblessed¡¡superincumbent¡¡nightmare£»¡¡or¡¡roll¡¡themselves¡¡and¡¡it¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Abyss¡£¡¡¡¡Vain¡¡to¡¡reform¡¡Parliament£»¡¡to¡¡invent¡¡ballot¡boxes£»¡¡to¡¡reform¡¡this¡¡or¡¡that£»¡¡the¡¡real¡¡Administration£»¡¡practical¡¡Management¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Commonwealth£»¡¡goes¡¡all¡¡awry£»¡¡choked¡¡up¡¡with¡¡long¡accumulated¡¡pedantries£»¡¡so¡¡that¡¡your¡¡appointed¡¡workers¡¡have¡¡been¡¡reduced¡¡to¡¡work¡¡as¡¡moles£»¡¡and¡¡it¡¡is¡¡one¡¡vast¡¡boring¡¡and¡¡counter¡boring£»¡¡on¡¡the¡¡part¡¡of¡¡eyeless¡¡persons¡¡irreverently¡¡called¡¡stupid£»¡¡and¡¡a¡¡daedalean¡¡bewilderment£»¡¡writing¡¡¡¨impossible¡¨¡¡on¡¡all¡¡efforts¡¡or¡¡proposals£»¡¡supervenes¡£
The¡¡State¡¡itself£»¡¡not¡¡in¡¡Downing¡¡Street¡¡alone¡¡but¡¡in¡¡every¡¡department¡¡of¡¡it£»¡¡has¡¡altered¡¡much¡¡from¡¡what¡¡it¡¡was¡¡in¡¡past¡¡times£»¡¡and¡¡it¡¡will¡¡again¡¡have¡¡to¡¡alter¡¡very¡¡much£»¡¡to¡¡alter¡¡I¡¡think¡¡from¡¡top¡¡to¡¡bottom£»¡¡if¡¡it¡¡means¡¡to¡¡continue¡¡existing¡¡in¡¡the¡¡times¡¡that¡¡are¡¡now¡¡coming¡¡and¡¡come£¡
The¡¡State£»¡¡left¡¡to¡¡shape¡¡itself¡¡by¡¡dim¡¡pedantries¡¡and¡¡traditions£»¡¡without¡¡distinctness¡¡of¡¡conviction£»¡¡or¡¡purpose¡¡beyond¡¡that¡¡of¡¡helping¡¡itself¡¡over¡¡the¡¡difficulty¡¡of¡¡the¡¡hour£»¡¡has¡¡become£»¡¡instead¡¡of¡¡a¡¡luminous¡¡vitality¡¡permeating¡¡with¡¡its¡¡light¡¡all¡¡provinces¡¡of¡¡our¡¡affairs£»¡¡a¡¡most¡¡monstrous¡¡agglomerate¡¡of¡¡inanities£»¡¡as¡¡little¡¡adapted¡¡for¡¡the¡¡actual¡¡wants¡¡of¡¡a¡¡modern¡¡community¡¡as¡¡the¡¡worst¡¡citizen¡¡need¡¡wish¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡thing¡¡it¡¡is¡¡doing¡¡is¡¡by¡¡no¡¡means¡¡the¡¡thing¡¡we¡¡want¡¡to¡¡have¡¡done¡£¡¡¡¡What¡¡we¡¡want£¡¡¡¡¡Let¡¡the¡¡dullest¡¡British¡¡man¡¡endeavor¡¡to¡¡raise¡¡in¡¡his¡¡mind¡¡this¡¡question£»¡¡and¡¡ask¡¡himself¡¡in¡¡sincerity¡¡what¡¡the¡¡British¡¡Nation¡¡wants¡¡at¡¡this¡¡time¡£¡¡¡¡Is¡¡it¡¡to¡¡have£»¡¡with¡¡endless¡¡jargoning£»¡¡debating£»¡¡motioning¡¡and¡¡counter¡motioning£»¡¡a¡¡settlement¡¡effected¡¡between¡¡the¡¡Honorable¡¡Mr¡£¡¡This¡¡and¡¡the¡¡Honorable¡¡Mr¡£¡¡That£»¡¡as¡¡to¡¡their¡¡respective¡¡pretensions¡¡to¡¡ride¡¡the¡¡high¡¡horse£¿¡¡¡¡Really¡¡it¡¡is¡¡unimportant¡¡which¡¡of¡¡them¡¡ride¡¡it¡£¡¡¡¡Going¡¡upon¡¡past¡¡experience¡¡long¡¡continued¡¡now£»¡¡I¡¡should¡¡say¡¡with¡¡brevity£»¡¡¡¨Either¡¡of¡¡themNeither¡¡of¡¡them¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡If¡¡our¡¡Government¡¡is¡¡to¡¡be¡¡a¡¡No¡Government£»¡¡what¡¡is¡¡the¡¡matter¡¡who¡¡administers¡¡it£¿¡¡¡¡Fling¡¡an¡¡orange¡skin¡¡into¡¡St¡£¡¡James's¡¡Street£»¡¡let¡¡the¡¡man¡¡it¡¡hits¡¡be¡¡your¡¡man¡£¡¡¡¡He£»¡¡if¡¡you¡¡breed¡¡him¡¡a¡¡little¡¡to¡¡it£»¡¡and¡¡tie¡¡the¡¡due¡¡official¡¡bladders¡¡to¡¡his¡¡ankles£»¡¡will¡¡do¡¡as¡¡well¡¡as¡¡another¡¡this¡¡sublime¡¡problem¡¡of¡¡balancing¡¡himself¡¡upon¡¡the¡¡vortexes£»¡¡with¡¡the¡¡long¡¡loaded¡pole¡¡in¡¡his¡¡hands£»¡¡and¡¡will£»¡¡with¡¡straddling¡¡painful¡¡gestures£»¡¡float¡¡hither¡¡and¡¡thither£»¡¡walking¡¡the¡¡waters¡¡in¡¡that¡¡singular¡¡manner¡¡for¡¡a¡¡little¡¡while£»¡¡as¡¡well¡¡as¡¡his¡¡foregoers¡¡did£»¡¡till¡¡he¡¡also¡¡capsize£»¡¡and¡¡be¡¡left¡¡floating¡¡feet¡¡uppermost£»¡¡after¡¡which¡¡you¡¡choose¡¡another¡£
What¡¡an¡¡immense¡¡pother£»¡¡by¡¡parliamenting¡¡and¡¡palavering¡¡in¡¡all¡¡corners¡¡of¡¡your¡¡empire£»¡¡to¡¡decide¡¡such¡¡a¡¡question¡¡as¡¡that£¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡say£»¡¡if¡¡that¡¡is¡¡the¡¡function£»¡¡almost¡¡any¡¡human¡¡creature¡¡can¡¡learn¡¡to¡¡discharge¡¡it£º¡¡¡¡fling¡¡out¡¡your¡¡orange¡skin¡¡again£»¡¡and¡¡save¡¡an¡¡incalculable¡¡labor£»¡¡and¡¡an¡¡emission¡¡of¡¡nonsense¡¡and¡¡falsity£»¡¡and¡¡electioneering¡¡beer¡¡and¡¡bribery¡¡and¡¡balderdash£»¡¡which¡¡is¡¡terrible¡¡to¡¡think¡¡of£»¡¡in¡¡deciding¡£¡¡¡¡Your¡¡National¡¡Parliament£»¡¡in¡¡so¡¡far¡¡as¡¡it¡¡has¡¡only¡¡that¡¡question¡¡to¡¡decide£»¡¡may¡¡be¡¡considered¡¡as¡¡an¡¡enormous¡¡National¡¡Palaver¡¡existing¡¡mainly¡¡for¡¡imaginary¡¡purposes£»¡¡and¡¡certain£»¡¡in¡¡these¡¡days¡¡of¡¡abbreviated¡¡labor£»¡¡to¡¡get¡¡itself¡¡sent¡¡home¡¡again¡¡to¡¡its¡¡partridge¡shootings£»¡¡fox¡huntings£»¡¡and¡¡above¡¡all£»¡¡to¡¡its¡¡rat¡catchings£»¡¡if¡¡it¡¡could¡¡but¡¡understand¡¡the¡¡time¡¡of¡¡day£»¡¡and¡¡know¡¡£¨as¡¡our¡¡indignant¡¡Crabbe¡¡remarks£©¡¡that¡¡¡¨the¡¡real¡¡Nimrod¡¡of¡¡this¡¡era£»¡¡who¡¡alone¡¡does¡¡any¡¡good¡¡to¡¡the¡¡era£»¡¡is¡¡the¡¡rat¡catcher£¡¡¨
The¡¡notion¡¡that¡¡any¡¡Government¡¡is¡¡or¡¡can¡¡be¡¡a¡¡No¡Government£»¡¡without¡¡the¡¡deadliest¡¡peril¡¡to¡¡all¡¡noble¡¡interests¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Commonwealth£»¡¡and¡¡by¡¡degrees¡¡slower¡¡or¡¡swifter¡¡to¡¡all¡¡ignoble¡¡ones¡¡also£»¡¡and¡¡to¡¡the¡¡very¡¡gully¡drains£»¡¡and¡¡thief¡¡lodging¡houses£»¡¡and¡¡Mosaic¡¡sweating¡¡establishments£»¡¡and¡¡at¡¡last¡¡without¡¡destruction¡¡to¡¡such¡¡No¡Government¡¡itself£»was¡¡never¡¡my¡¡notion£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡hope¡¡it¡¡will¡¡soon¡¡cease¡¡altogether¡¡to¡¡be¡¡the¡¡world's¡¡or¡¡to¡¡be¡¡anybody's¡£¡¡But¡¡if¡¡it¡¡be¡¡the¡¡correct¡¡notion£»¡¡as¡¡the¡¡world¡¡seems¡¡at¡¡present¡¡to¡¡flatter¡¡itself£»¡¡I¡¡point¡¡out¡¡improvements¡¡and¡¡abbreviations¡£¡¡¡¡Dismiss¡¡your¡¡National¡¡Palaver£»¡¡make¡¡the¡¡_Times_¡¡Newspaper¡¡your¡¡National¡¡Palaver£»¡¡which¡¡needs¡¡no¡¡beer¡barrels¡¡or¡¡hustings£»¡¡and¡¡is¡¡_cheaper_¡¡in¡¡expense¡¡of¡¡money¡¡and¡¡of¡¡falsity¡¡a¡¡thousand