the kentons-第24章

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mother；　she　stopped　and　left　the　affair　to　her　daughter。

〃Do　you　think　you　can　get　down　with　them；　momma？〃　　the　girl　asked；　and
somehow　her　mother's　heart　was　lightened　by　her　evasion；　not　to　call　it
uncandor。　　It　was　at　least　not　morbid；　it　was　at　least　like　other　girls；
and　Mrs。　Kenton　imparted　what　comfort　there　was　in　it　to　the　judge；　when
he　asked　where　she　had　left　Ellen。

〃Not　that　it's　any　use；〃　she　sighed；　when　she　had　seen　him　share　it　with
a　certain　shamefacedness。　　〃That　woman　has　got　her　grip　on　him；　and　she
doesn't　mean　to　let　go。〃

Kenton　understood　Miss　Rasmith　by　that　woman；　but　he　would　not　allow
himself　to　be　so　easily　cast　down。　　This　was　one　of　the　things　that
provoked　Mrs。　Kenton　with　him；　when　he　had　once　taken　hope　he　would　not
abandon　it　without　reason。　　〃I　don't　see　any　evidence　of　her　having　her
grip　on　him。　　I've　noticed　him；　and　he　doesn't　seem　attentive　to　her。
I　should　say　he　tried　to　avoid　her。　　He　certainly　doesn't　avoid　Ellen。〃

〃What　are　you　thinking　of；　Rufus？〃

〃What　are　you？　　You　know　we'd　both　be　glad　if　he　fancied　her。〃

〃Well；　suppose　we　would？　　I　don't　deny　it。　　He　is　one　of　the　most
agreeable　gentlemen　I　ever　saw；　one　of　the　kindest　and　nicest。〃

〃He's　more　than　that；〃　said　the　judge。　　〃I've　been　sounding　him　on
various　points；　and　I　don't　see　where　he's　wrong。　　Of　course；　I　don't
know　much　about　his　religious　persuasion；　if　it　is　one；　but　I　think　I'm　a
pretty　fair　judge　of　character；　and　that　young　man　has　character。　　He
isn't　a　light　person；　though　he　likes　joking　and　laughing；　and　he
appreciates　Ellen。〃

〃Yes；　so　do　we。　　And　there's　about　as　much　prospect　of　his　marrying　her。　
Rufus；　it's　pretty　hard！　　She's　just　in　the　mood　to　be　taken　with　him；
but　she　won't　let　herself；　because　she　knows　it's　of　no　use。　　That　Miss
Rasmith　has　been　telling　her　how　much　he　is　run　after；　and　I　could　see
that　that　settled　it　for　Ellen　as　plainly　as　if　she　said　so。　　More
plainly；　for　there's　enough　of　the　girl　in　her　to　make　her　say　one　thing
when　she　means　another。　　She　was　just　saying　she　was　sick　of　him；　and
never　wanted　to　speak　to　him　again；　when　he　came　up　and　asked　her　to
walk；　and　she　went　with　him　instantly。　　I　knew　what　she　meant。　　She
wasn't　going　to　let　him　suppose　that　anything　Miss　Rasmith　had　said　was
going　to　change　her。〃

〃Well；　then；〃　said　the　judge；　〃I　don't　see　what　you're　scared　at。〃

I'm　not　SCARED。　　But；　oh；　Rufus！　　It　can't　come　to　anything！　　There　isn't
time！〃　　An　hysterical　hope　trembled　in　her　asseveration　of　despair　that
made　him　smile。

〃I　guess　if　time's　all　that's　wanted〃

〃He　is　going　to　get　off　at　Boulogne。〃

〃Well；　we　can　get　off　there；　too。〃

〃Rufus；　if　you　dare　to　think　of　such　a　thing！〃

〃I　don't。　　But　Europe　isn't　so　big　but　what　he　can　find　us　again　if　he
wants　to。〃

〃Ah；　if　he　wants　to！〃

Ellen　seemed　to　have　let　her　mother　take　her　languor　below　along　with　the
shawls　she　had　given　her。　　Buttoned　into　a　close　jacket；　and　skirted
short　for　the　sea；　she　pushed　against　the　breeze　at　Breckon's　elbow　with
a　vigor　that　made　him　look　his　surprise　at　her。　　Girl…like；　she　took　it
that　something　was　wrong　with　her　dress；　and　ran　herself　over　with　an
uneasy　eye。

Then　he　explained：　〃I　was　just　thinking　how　much　you　were　like　Miss
Lottie…if　you'll　excuse　my　being　so　personal。　　And　it　never　struck　me
before。〃

〃I　didn't　suppose　we　looked　alike；〃　said　Ellen。

〃No；　certainly。　　I　shouldn't　have　taken　you　for　sisters。　　And　yet；　just
now；　I　felt　that　you　were　like　her。　　You　seem　so　much　stronger　this
morningperhaps　it's　that　the　voyage　is　doing　you　good。　　Shall　you　be
sorry　to　have　it　end？〃

〃Shall　you？　　That's　the　way　Lottie　would　answer。〃

Breckon　laughed。　　〃Yes；　it　is。　　I　shall　be　very　sorry。　　I　should　be
willing　to　have　it　rough　again；　it　that　would　make　it　longer。　　I　liked
it's　being　rough。　　We　had　it　to　ourselves。〃　　He　had　not　thought　how　that
sounded；　but　if　it　sounded　particular；　she　did　not　notice　it。

She　merely　said；　〃I　was　surprised　not　to　be　seasick；　too。〃

〃And　should　you　be　willing　to　have　it　rough　again？〃

〃You　wouldn't　see　anything　more　of　your　friends；　then。〃

〃Ah；　yes；　Miss　Rasmith。　　She　is　a　great　talker；　Did　you　find　her
interesting？〃

〃She　was　very　interesting。〃

〃Yes？　　What　did　she　talk　about？〃

Ellen　realized　the　fact　too　late　to　withhold　〃Why；　about　you。〃

〃And　was　that　what　made　her　interesting？〃

〃Now；　what　would　Lottie　say　to　such　a　thing　as　that？〃　　asked　Ellen；
gayly。

〃Something　terribly　cutting；　I'm　afraid。　　But　don't　you！　　From　you　I
don't　want　to　believe　I　deserve　it；　no　matter　what　Miss　Rasmith　said　me。〃

〃Oh；　she　didn't　say　anything　very　bad。　　Unless　you　mind　being　a　universal
favorite。〃

〃Well；　it　makes　a　man　out　rather　silly。〃

〃But　you　can't　help　that。〃

〃Now　you　remind　me　of　Miss　Lottie　again！〃

〃But　I　didn't　mean　that；〃　said　Ellen；　blushing　and　laughing。　　〃I　hope　you
wouldn't　think　I　could　be　so　pert。〃

〃I　wouldn't　think　anything　that　wasn't　to　your　praise；〃　said　Breckon；　and
a　pause　ensued；　after　which　the　words　he　added　seemed　tame　and　flat。
〃I　suspect　Miss　Rasmith　has　been　idealizing　the　situation。　　At　any　rate；
I　shouldn't　advise　you　to　trust　her　report　implicitly。　　I'm　at　the　head
of　a　society；　you　know；　ethical　or　sociological；　or　altruistic；　whatever
you　choose　to　call　it；　which　hasn't　any　very　definite　object　of　worship；
and　yet　meets　every　Sunday　for　a　sort　of　worship；　and　I　have　to　be　in　the
pulpit。　　So　you　see？〃

Ellen　said；　〃I　think　I　understand；〃　with　a　temptation　to　smile　at　the
ruefulness　of　his　appeal。

Breckon　laughed　for　her。　　〃That's　the　mischief　and　the　absurdity　of　it。　
But　it　isn't　so　bad　as　it　seems。　　They're　really　most　of　them　hard…headed
people；　and　those　that　are　not　couldn't　make　a　fool　of　a　man　that　nature
hadn't　begun　with。　　Still；　I'm　not　very　well　satisfied　with　my　work　among
themthat　is；　I'm　not　satisfied　with　myself。〃　　He　was　talking　soberly
enough；　and　he　did　not　find　that　she　was　listening　too　seriously。　　〃I'm
going　away　to　see　whether　I　shall　come　back。〃　　He　looked　at　her　to　make
sure　that　she　had　taken　his　meaning；　and　seemed　satisfied　that　she　had。　
〃I'm　not　sure　that　I'm　fit　for　any　sort　of　ministry；　and　I　may　find　the
winter　in　England　trying　to　find　out。　　I　was　at　school　in　England；　you
know。〃

Ellen　confessed　that　she　had　not　known　that。

〃Yes；　I　suppose　that's　what　made　me　seem　'so　Englishy'　the　first　day　to
Miss　Lottie；　as　she　called　it。　　But　I'm　straight　enough　American　as　far
as　parentage　goes。　　Do　you　think　you　will　be　in　England…later？〃

〃I　don't　know。　　If　poppa　gets　too　homesick　we　will　go　back　in　the　fall。〃

〃Miss　Kenton；〃　said　the　young　man；　abruptly；　〃will　you　let　me　tell　you
how　much　I　admire　and　revere　your　father？〃

Tears　came　into　her　eyes　and　her　throat　swelled。　　〃But　you　don't　know；〃
she　begun；　and　then　she　stopped。

〃I　have　been　wanting　to　submit　something　to　his　judgment；　but　I've　been
afraid。　　I　might　seem　to　be　fishing　for　his　favor。〃

〃Poppa　wouldn't　think　anything　that　was　unjust；〃　said　Ellen；　gravely。

〃Ah；〃　Breckon　laughed；　〃I　suspect　that　I　should　rather　have　him　unjust。　
I　wish　you'd　tell　me　what　he　would　think。〃

〃But　I　don't　know　what　it　is；〃　she　protested；　with　a　reflected　smile。

〃I　was　in　hopes　Miss　Rasmith　might　have　told　you。　　Well；　it　is　simply
this；　and　you　will　see　that　I'm　not　quite　the　universal　favorite　she's
been　making　you　fancy　me。　　There　is　a　rift　in　my　lute；　a　schism　in　my
little　society；　which　is　so　little　that　I　could　not　have　supposed　there
was　enough　of　it　to　break　in　two。　　There　are　some　who　think　their
lecturerfor　that's　what　I　amount　toought　to　be　an　older；　if　not　a
graver　man。　　They　are　in　the　minority；　but　they're　in　the　right；　I'm
afraid；　and　that's　why　I　happen　to　be　here　telling　you　all　this。　　It's
a　question　of　whether　I　ought　to　go　back　to　New　York　or　stay　in　London；
where　there's　been　a　faint　call　for　me。〃　　He　saw　the　girl　listening
devoutly；　with　that　flattered　look　which　a　serious　girl　cannot　keep　out
of　her　face　when　a　man　confides　a　serious　matter　to　her。　　〃I　might　safely
promise　to　be　older；　but　could　I　keep　my　word　if　I　promised　to　be　graver？　
That's　the　point。　　If　I　were　a　Calvinist　I　might　hold　fast　by　faith；　and
fight　it　out　with　that；　or　if　I　were　a　Catholic　I　could　cast　myself　upon
the　strength　of　the　Church；　and　triumph　in　spite　of　temperament。　　Then　it
wouldn't　matter　whether　I　was　grave　or　gay；　it　might　be　even　better　if　I
were　gay。　　But；〃　he　went　on；　in　terms　which；　doubtless；　were　not　then　for
the　first　time　formulated　in　his　mind；　〃being　merely　the　leader　of　a　sort
of　forlorn　hope　in　the　Divine　Goodness；　perhaps　I　have　no　right　to　be　so
cheerful。〃

The　note　of　a　sad　irony　in　his　words　appealed　to　such　indignation　for　him
in　Ellen　as　she　never　felt　for　herself。　　But　she　only　said；　〃I　don't
believe　Poppa　could　take　that　in　the　wrong　way　if　you　told　him。〃

Breckon　stared。　　〃Yes　your　father！　　What　would　he　say？〃

〃I　can't　tell　you。　　But　I'm　sure　he　would　know　what　you　meant。〃

〃And　you；〃　he　pursued；　〃what　should　YOU　say？〃

〃I？　　I　never　thought　about　such　a　thing。　　You　mustn't　ask　me；　if　you're
serious；　and　if　you're　not〃

〃But　I　am；　I　am　deeply　serious。　　I　would　like；　to　know　how　the　case
strikes　you。　　I　shall　be　so　grateful　if　you　will　tell　me。〃

〃I'm　sorry　I　can't；　Mr。　Breckon。　　Why　don't　you　ask　poppa？〃

〃No；　I　see　now　I　sha'n't　be　able。　　I　feel　too　much；　after　telling　you；　as
if　I　had　been　posing。　　The　reality　has　gone　out　of　it　all。　　And　I'm
ashamed。〃

〃You　mustn't　be；〃　she　said；　quietly；　and　she　added；　〃I　suppose　it　would
be　like　a　kind　of　defeat　if　you　didn't　go　back？〃

〃I　shouldn't　care　for　the　appearance　of　defeat；〃　he　said；　courageously。　
〃The　great　question　is；　whether　somebody　else　wouldn't　be　of　more　use　in
my　place。〃

〃Nobody　could　be；〃　said　she；　in　a　sort　of　impassioned　absence；　and　then
coming　to　herself；　〃I　mean；　they　wouldn't　think　so；　I　don't　believe。〃

〃Then　you　advise〃

〃No；　no！　　I　can't；　I　don't。　　I'm　not　fit　to　have　an　opinion　about　such　a
thing；　it　would　be　crazy。　　But　poppa〃

They　were　at　the　door　of　the　gangway；　and　she　slipped　within　and　left
him。　　His　nerves　tingled；　and　there　was　a　glow　in　his　breast。　　It　was
sweet　to　have　surprised　that　praise　from　her；　though　he　could　not　have
said　why　he　should　value　the　praise　or　a　girl　of　her　open　ignorance　and
inexperience　in　everything　that　would　have　qualified　her　to　judge　him。　
But　he　found　himself　valuing　it　supremely；　and　wonderingly　wishing　to　be
worthy　of　it。




XVII。

Ellen　discovered　her　father　with　a　book　in　a　distant　corner　of　the
dining…saloon；　which　he　preferred　to　the　deck　or　the　library　for　his
reading；　in　such　intervals　as　the　stewards；　laying　and　cleaning　the
tables；　left　him　unmolested　in　it。　　She　advanced　precipitately　upon　him；
and　stood　before　him　in　an　excitement　which；　though　he　lifted　his　dazed
eyes　to　it　from　his　page；　he　was　not　entirely　aware　of　till　afterwards。　
Then　he　realized　that　her　cheeks　were　full　of　color；　and　her　eyes　of
light；　and　that　she　panted　as　if　she　had　been　running　when　she　spoke。

〃Poppa；〃　she　said；　〃there　is　something　that　Mr。　Breckon　wants　to　speak　to
youto　ask　you　about。　　He　has