the kentons-第37章

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consciousness　that　she　was　saying　anything　uncommon。　　〃If　you　won't　tell
him；　then　that　ends　it。　　I　won't　see　him。〃

〃Oh；　well！〃　　her　mother　sighed。　　〃I　will　try　to　tell　him。　　But　I'd　rather
be　whipped。　　I　know　he'll　laugh　at　me。〃

〃He　won't　laugh　at　you；〃　said　the　girl；　confidently；　almost　comfortingly。　
〃I　want　him　to　know　everything　before　I　meet　him。　　I　don't　want　to　have　a
single　thing　on　my　mind。　　I　don't　want　to　think　of　myself！〃

Mrs。　Kenton　understood　the　womansoul　that　spoke　in　these　words。　
〃Well；〃　she　said；　with　a　deep；　long　breath；　〃be　ready；　then。〃

But　she　felt　the　burden　which　had　been　put　upon　her　to　be　so　much　more
than　she　could　bear　that　when　she　found　her　husband　in　their　parlor　she
instantly　resolved　to　cast　it　upon　him。　　He　stood　at　the　window　with　his
hat　on。

〃Has　Breckon　been　here　yet？〃　　he　asked。

〃Have　you　seen　him　yet？〃　　she　returned。

〃Yes；　and　I　thought　he　was　coming　right　here。　　But　perhaps　he　stopped　to
screw　his　courage　up。　　He　only　knew　how　little　it　needed　with　us！〃

〃Well；　now；　it's　we　who've　got　to　have　the　courage。　　Or　you　have。　　Do　you
know　what　Ellen　wants　to　have　done？〃　　Mrs。　Kenton　put　it　in　these
impersonal　terms；　and　as　a　preliminary　to　shirking　her　share　of　the
burden。

〃She　doesn't　want　to　have　him　refused？〃

〃She　wants　to　have　him　told　all　about　Bittridge。〃

After　a　momentary　revolt　the　judge　said；　〃Well；　that's　right。　　It's　like
Ellen。〃

〃There's　something　else　that's　more　like　her；〃　said　Mrs。　Kenton；
indignantly。　　〃She　wants　him　to　told　about　what　Bittridge　did　that　night
about　him　kissing　her。〃

The　judge　looked　disgusted　with　his　wife　for　the　word；　then　he　looked
aghast。　　〃About〃

〃Yes；　and　she　won't　have　a　word　to　say　to　him　till　he　is　told；　and　unless
he　is　told　she　will　refuse　him。〃

〃Did　she　say　that？〃

〃No；　but　I　know　she　will。〃

〃If　she　didn't　say　she　would；　I　think　we　may　take　the　chances　that　she
won't。〃

〃No；　we　mustn't　take　any　such　chances。　　You　must　tell　him。〃

〃I？　　No；　I　couldn't　manage　it。　　I　have　no　tact；　and　it　would　sound　so
confoundedly　queer；　coming　from　one　man　to　another。　　It　would　be
indelicate。　　It's　something　that　nobody　but　a　woman　Why　doesn't　she
tell　him　herself？〃

〃She　won't。　　She　considers　it　our　part；　and　something　we　ought　to　do
before　he　commits　himself。〃

〃Very　well；　then；　Sarah；　you　must　tell　him。　　You　can　manage　it　so　it
won't　by　soqueer。

〃That　is　just　what　I　supposed　you　would　say；　Mr。　Kenton；　but　I　must　say　I
didn't　expect　it　of　you。　　I　think　it's　cowardly。〃

〃Look　out；　Sarah！　　I　don't　like　that　word。〃

〃Oh；　I　suppose　you're　brave　enough　when　it　comes　to　any　kind　of　danger。　
But　when　it　comes　to　taking　the　brunt　of　anything　unpleasant〃

〃It　isn't　unpleasantit's　queer。〃

〃Why　do　you　keep　saying　that　over　and　over？　　There's　nothing　queer　about
it。　　It's　Ellenish　but　isn't　it　right？〃

〃It's　right；　yes；　I　suppose。　　But　it's　squeamish。〃

〃I　see　nothing　squeamish　about　it。　　But　I　know　you're　determined　to　leave
it　to　me；　and　so　I　shall　do　it。　　I　don't　believe　Mr。　Breckon　will　think
it's　queer　or　squeamish。〃

〃I've　no　doubt　he'll　take　it　in　the　right　way；　you'll　know　how　to〃
Kenton　looked　into　his　hat；　which　he　had　taken　off　and　then　put　it　on
again。　　His　tone　and　his　manner　were　sufficiently　sneaking；　and　he　could
not　make　them　otherwise。　　It　was　for　this　reason；　no　doubt；　that　he　would
not　prolong　the　interview。

〃Oh　yes；　go！〃　　said　Mrs。　Kenton；　as　he　found　himself　with　his　hand　on　the
door。　　〃Leave　it　all　to　me；　do！〃　　and　he　was　aware　of　skulking　out　of　the
room。　　By　the　time　that　it　would　have　taken　him　so　long　as　to　walk　to　the
top　of　the　grand　stairway　he　was　back　again。　　〃He's　coming！〃　　he　said；
breathlessly。　　〃I　saw　him　at　the　bottom　of　the　stairs。　　Go　into　your　room
and　wash　your　eyes。　　I'LL　tell　him。〃

〃No；　no；　Rufus！　　Let　me！　　It　will　be　much　better。　　You'll　be　sure　to
bungle　it。〃

〃We　must　risk　that。　　You　were　quite　right；　Sarah。　　It　would　have　been
cowardly　in　me　to　let　you　do　it。〃

〃Rufus！　　You　know　I　didn't　mean　it！　　Surely　you're　not　resenting　that？〃

〃No。　　I'm　glad　you　made　me　see　it。　　You're　all　right；　Sarah；　and　you'll
find　that　it　will　all　come　out　all　right。　　You　needn't　be　afraid　I'll
bungle　it。　　I　shall　use　discretion。　　Go〃

〃I　shall　not　stir　a　step　from　this　parlor！　　You've　got　back　all　your
spirit；　dear；〃　said　the　old　wife；　with　young　pride　in　her　husband。
〃But　I　must　say　that　Ellen　is　putting　more　upon　you　than　she　has　any
right　to。　　I　think　she　might　tell　him　herself。〃

〃No；　it's　our　businessmy　business。　　We　allowed　her　to　get　in　for　it。　
She's　quite　right　about　it。　　We　must　not　let　him　commit　himself　to　her
till　he　knows　the　thing　that　most　puts　her　to　shame。　　It　isn't　enough　for
us　to　say　that　it　was　really　no　shame。　　She　feels　that　it　casts　a　sort　of
stainyou　know　what　I　mean；　Sarah；　and　I　believe　I　can　make　this　young
man　know。　　If　I　can't；　so　much　the　worse　for　him。　　He　shall　never　see
Ellen　again。〃

〃Oh；　Rufus！〃

〃Do　you　think　he　would　be　worthy　of　her　if　he　couldn't？〃

〃I　think　Ellen　is　perfectly　ridiculous。〃

〃Then　that　shows　that　I　am　right　in　deciding　not　to　leave　this　thing　to
you。　　I　feel　as　she　does　about　it；　and　I　intend　that　he　shall。〃

〃Do　you　intend　to　let　her　run　the　chance　of　losing　him？〃

〃That　is　what　I　intend　to　do。〃

〃Well；　then；　I'll　tell　you　what：　I　am　going　to　stay　right　here。　　We　will
both　see　him；　it's　right　for　us　to　do　it。〃　　But　at　a　rap　on　the　parlor
door　Mrs。　Kenton　flew　to　that　of　her　own　room；　which　she　closed　upon　her
with　a　sort　of　Parthian　whimper；　〃Oh；　do　be　careful；　Rufus！〃

Whether　Kenton　was　careful　or　not　could　never　be　known；　from　either
Kenton　himself　or　from　Breckon。　　The　judge　did　tell　him　everything；　and
the　young　man　received　the　most　damning　details　of　Ellen's　history　with　a
radiant　absence　which　testified　that　they　fell　upon　a　surface　sense　of
Kenton；　and　did　not　penetrate　to　the　all…pervading　sense　of　Ellen　herself
below。　　At　the　end　Kenton　was　afraid　he　had　not　understood。

〃You　understand；〃　he　said；　〃that　she　could　not　consent　to　see　you　before
you　knew　just　how　weak　she　thought　she　had　been。〃　　The　judge　stiffened　to
defiance　in　making　this　humiliation。　　〃I　don't　consider；　myself；　that　she
was　weak　at　all。〃

〃Of　course　not！〃　　Breckon　beamed　back　at　him。

〃I　consider　that　throughout　she　acted　with　the　greatestgreatest　And
that　in　that　affair；　when　he　behaved　with　thatthat　outrageous
impudence；　it　was　because　she　had　misled　the　scoundrel　by　her　kindness；
her　forbearance；　her　wish　not　to　do　him　the　least　shadow　of　injustice；
but　to　give　him　every　chance　of　proving　himself　worthy　of　her　tolerance；
and〃

The　judge　choked；　and　Breckon　eagerly　asked；　〃And　shall　Imay　I　see　her
now？〃

〃Whyyes；〃　the　judge　faltered。　　〃If　you're　sure〃

〃What　about？〃　　Breckon　demanded。

〃I　don't　know　whether　she　will　believe　that　I　have　told　you。〃

〃I　will　try　to　convince　her。　　Where　shall　I　see　her？〃

〃I　will　go　and　tell　her　you　are　here。　　I　will　bring　her〃

Kenton　passed　into　the　adjoining　room；　where　his　wife　laid　hold　of　him；
almost　violently。　　〃You　did　it　beautifully；　Rufus；〃　she　huskily
whispered；　〃and　I　was　so　afraid　you　would　spoil　everything。　　Oh；　how
manly　you　were；　and　how　perfect　he　was！　　But　now　it's　my　turn；　and　I　will
go　and　bring　Ellen　You　will　let　me；　won't　you？〃

〃You　may　do　anything　you　please；　Sarah。　　I　don't　want　to　have　any　more　of
this；〃　said　the　judge　from　the　chair　he　had　dropped　into。

〃Well；　then；　I　will　bring　her　at　once；〃　said　Mrs。　Kenton；　staying　only　in
her　gladness　to　kiss　him　on　his　gray　head；　he　received　her　embrace　with　a
superficial　sultriness　which　did　not　deceive　her。

Ellen　came　back　without　her　mother；　and　as　soon　as　she　entered　the　room；
and　Breckon　realized　that　she　had　come　alone；　he　ran　towards　her　as　if　to
take　her　in　his　arms。　　But　she　put　up　her　hand　with　extended　fingers；　and
held　him　lightly　off。

〃Did　poppa　tell　you？〃　she　asked；　with　a　certain　defiance。　　She　held　her
head　up　fiercely；　and　spoke　steadily；　but　he　could　see　the　pulse　beating
in　her　pretty　neck。

〃Yes；　he　told　me〃

〃Andwell？〃

〃Oh；　I　love　you；　Ellen〃

〃That　isn't　it。　　Did　you　care？〃

Breckon　had　an　inspiration；　an　inspiration　from　the　truth　that　dwelt　at
the　bottom　of　his　soul　and　had　never　yet　failed　to　save　him。　　He　let　his
arms　fall　and　answered；　desperately：　〃Yes；　I　did。　　I　wished　it　hadn't
happened。〃　　He　saw　the　pulse　in　her　neck　cease　to　beat；　and　he　swiftly
added；　〃But　I　know　that　it　happened　just　because　you　were　yourself；　and
were　so〃

〃If　you　had　said　you　didn't　care；〃　she　breathlessly　whispered；　〃I　would
never　have　spoken　to　you。　　He　felt　a　conditional　tremor　creeping　into　the
fingers　which　had　been　so　rigid　against　his　breast。　　〃I　don't　see　how　I
lived　through　it！　　Do　you　think　you　can？〃

〃I　think　so；〃　he　returned；　with　a　faint；　far　suggestion　of　levity　that
brought　from　her　an　imperative；　imploring

〃Don't！〃

Then　he　added；　solemnly；　〃It　had　no　more　to　do　with　you；　Ellen；　than　an
offence　from　some　hateful　animal〃

〃Oh；　how　good　you　are！〃　　The　fingers　folded　themselves；　and　her　arms
weakened　so　that　there　was　nothing　to　keep　him　from　drawing　her　to　him。
〃Whatwhat　are　you　doing？〃　　she　asked；　with　her　face　smothered　against
his。

〃Oh；　Ell…en；　Ellen；　Ellen！　　Oh；　my　love；　my　dearest；　my　best！〃

〃But　I　have　been　such　a　fool！〃　she　protested；　imagining　that　she　was
going　to　push　him　from　her；　but　losing　herself　in　him　more　and　more。

〃Yes；　yes；　darling！　　I　know　it。　　That's　why　I　love　you　so！〃




XXVI。

〃There　is　just　one　thing；〃　said　the　judge；　as　he　wound　up　his　watch　that
night；　〃that　makes　me　a　little　uneasy　still。〃

Mrs。　Kenton；　already　in　her　bed　turned　her　face　upon　him　with　a
despairing　〃Tchk！　　Dear！　　What　is　it？　　I　thought　we　had　talked　over
everything；〃

〃We　haven't　got　Lottie's　consent　yet。〃

〃Well；　I　think　I　see　myself　asking　Lottie！〃　　Mrs。　　Kenton　began；　before
she　realized　her　husband's　irony。　　She　added；　〃How　could　you　give　me　such
a　start？〃

〃Well；　Lottie　has　bossed　us　so　long　that　I　couldn't　help　mentioning　it；〃
said　the　judge。

It　was　a　lame　excuse；　and　in　its　most　potential　implication　his
suggestion　proved　without　reason。　　If　Lottie　never　gave　her　explicit
approval　to　Ellen's　engagement；　she　never　openly　opposed　it。　　She　treated
it；　rather；　with　something　like　silent　contempt；　as　a　childish　weakness
on　Ellen's　part　which　was　beneath　her　serious　consideration。　　Towards
Breckon；　her　behavior　hardly　changed　in　the　severity　which　she　had
assumed　from　the　moment　she　first　ceased　to　have　any　use　for　him。
〃I　suppose　I　will　have　to　kiss　him；〃　she　said；　gloomily；　when　her　mother　
told　her　that　he　was　to　be　her　brother；　and　she　performed　the　rite　with
as　much　coldness　as　was　ever　put　in　that　form　of　affectionate　welcome。　
It　is　doubtful　if　Breckon　perfectly　realized　its　coldness；　he　never　knew
how　much　he　enraged　her　by　acting　as　if　she　were　a　little　girl；　and
saying　lightly；　almost　trivially；　〃I'm　so　glad　you're　going　to　be　a
sister　to　me。〃

With　Ellen；　Lottie　now　considered　herself　quits；　and　from　the　first　hour
of　Ellen's　happiness　she　threw　off　all　the　care　with　all　the　apparent
kindness　which　she　had　used　towards