the turn of the screw-第13章

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At　this　my　companion　did　turn；　but　the　inquiry　she　launched　was

a　silent　one；　the　effect　of　which　was　to　make　me　more　explicit。

〃They　don't　know；　as　yet；　quite　howbut　they're　trying　hard。

They're　seen　only　across；　as　it　were；　and　beyondin　strange　places

and　on　high　places；　the　top　of　towers；　the　roof　of　houses；　the　outside

of　windows；　the　further　edge　of　pools；　but　there's　a　deep　design；

on　either　side；　to　shorten　the　distance　and　overcome　the　obstacle；

and　the　success　of　the　tempters　is　only　a　question　of　time。

They've　only　to　keep　to　their　suggestions　of　danger。〃



〃For　the　children　to　come？〃



〃And　perish　in　the　attempt！〃　　Mrs。　Grose　slowly　got　up；

and　I　scrupulously　added：　　〃Unless；　of　course；　we　can　prevent！〃



Standing　there　before　me　while　I　kept　my　seat；　she　visibly

turned　things　over。　　〃Their　uncle　must　do　the　preventing。

He　must　take　them　away。〃



〃And　who's　to　make　him？〃



She　had　been　scanning　the　distance；　but　she　now　dropped　on　me

a　foolish　face。　　〃You；　miss。〃



〃By　writing　to　him　that　his　house　is　poisoned　and　his　little

nephew　and　niece　mad？〃



〃But　if　they　ARE；　miss？〃



〃And　if　I　am　myself；　you　mean？　　That's　charming　news　to　be　sent　him

by　a　governess　whose　prime　undertaking　was　to　give　him　no　worry。〃



Mrs。　Grose　considered；　following　the　children　again。　　〃Yes；　he　do　hate　worry。

That　was　the　great　reason〃



〃Why　those　fiends　took　him　in　so　long？　　No　doubt；　though　his

indifference　must　have　been　awful。　　As　I'm　not　a　fiend；

at　any　rate；　I　shouldn't　take　him　in。〃



My　companion；　after　an　instant　and　for　all　answer；　sat　down　again

and　grasped　my　arm。　　〃Make　him　at　any　rate　come　to　you。〃



I　stared。　　〃To　ME？〃　I　had　a　sudden　fear　of　what　she　might　do。　　〃'Him'？〃



〃He　ought　to　BE　herehe　ought　to　help。〃



I　quickly　rose；　and　I　think　I　must　have　shown　her　a　queerer　face

than　ever　yet。　　〃You　see　me　asking　him　for　a　visit？〃　　No；　with　her

eyes　on　my　face　she　evidently　couldn't。　Instead　of　it　even

as　a　woman　reads　anothershe　could　see　what　I　myself　saw：

his　derision；　his　amusement；　his　contempt　for　the　breakdown

of　my　resignation　at　being　left　alone　and　for　the　fine　machinery　I

had　set　in　motion　to　attract　his　attention　to　my　slighted　charms。

She　didn't　knowno　one　knewhow　proud　I　had　been　to　serve

him　and　to　stick　to　our　terms；　yet　she　nonetheless　took

the　measure；　I　think；　of　the　warning　I　now　gave　her。

〃If　you　should　so　lose　your　head　as　to　appeal　to　him　for　me〃



She　was　really　frightened。　　〃Yes；　miss？〃



〃I　would　leave；　on　the　spot；　both　him　and　you。〃









　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　XIII





It　was　all　very　well　to　join　them；　but　speaking　to　them　proved

quite　as　much　as　ever　an　effort　beyond　my　strengthoffered；

in　close　quarters；　difficulties　as　insurmountable　as　before。

This　situation　continued　a　month；　and　with　new　aggravations

and　particular　notes；　the　note　above　all；　sharper　and　sharper；

of　the　small　ironic　consciousness　on　the　part　of　my　pupils。

It　was　not；　I　am　as　sure　today　as　I　was　sure　then；　my　mere

infernal　imagination：　　it　was　absolutely　traceable　that　they

were　aware　of　my　predicament　and　that　this　strange　relation　made；

in　a　manner；　for　a　long　time；　the　air　in　which　we　moved。

I　don't　mean　that　they　had　their　tongues　in　their　cheeks　or　did

anything　vulgar；　for　that　was　not　one　of　their　dangers：

I　do　mean；　on　the　other　hand；　that　the　element　of　the　unnamed

and　untouched　became；　between　us；　greater　than　any　other；

and　that　so　much　avoidance　could　not　have　been　so　successfully

effected　without　a　great　deal　of　tacit　arrangement。

It　was　as　if；　at　moments；　we　were　perpetually　coming　into　sight

of　subjects　before　which　we　must　stop　short；　turning　suddenly

out　of　alleys　that　we　perceived　to　be　blind；　closing　with　a　little

bang　that　made　us　look　at　each　otherfor；　like　all　bangs；

it　was　something　louder　than　we　had　intendedthe　doors　we

had　indiscreetly　opened。　　All　roads　lead　to　Rome；　and　there

were　times　when　it　might　have　struck　us　that　almost　every　branch

of　study　or　subject　of　conversation　skirted　forbidden　ground。

Forbidden　ground　was　the　question　of　the　return　of　the　dead

in　general　and　of　whatever；　in　especial；　might　survive；

in　memory；　of　the　friends　little　children　had　lost。

There　were　days　when　I　could　have　sworn　that　one　of　them　had；

with　a　small　invisible　nudge；　said　to　the　other：

〃She　thinks　she'll　do　it　this　timebut　she　WON'T！〃　To　〃do　it〃

would　have　been　to　indulge　for　instanceand　for　once　in　a　way

in　some　direct　reference　to　the　lady　who　had　prepared　them　for

my　discipline。　　They　had　a　delightful　endless　appetite　for　passages

in　my　own　history；　to　which　I　had　again　and　again　treated　them；

they　were　in　possession　of　everything　that　had　ever　happened　to　me；

had　had；　with　every　circumstance　the　story　of　my　smallest　adventures

and　of　those　of　my　brothers　and　sisters　and　of　the　cat　and　the　dog

at　home；　as　well　as　many　particulars　of　the　eccentric　nature

of　my　father；　of　the　furniture　and　arrangement　of　our　house；

and　of　the　conversation　of　the　old　women　of　our　village。

There　were　things　enough；　taking　one　with　another；　to　chatter　about；

if　one　went　very　fast　and　knew　by　instinct　when　to　go　round。

They　pulled　with　an　art　of　their　own　the　strings　of　my　invention

and　my　memory；　and　nothing　else　perhaps；　when　I　thought

of　such　occasions　afterward；　gave　me　so　the　suspicion　of　being

watched　from　under　cover。　　It　was　in　any　case　over　MY　life；

MY　past；　and　MY　friends　alone　that　we　could　take　anything

like　our　easea　state　of　affairs　that　led　them　sometimes　without

the　least　pertinence　to　break　out　into　sociable　reminders。

I　was　invitedwith　no　visible　connectionto　repeat　afresh

Goody　Gosling's　celebrated　mot　or　to　confirm　the　details

already　supplied　as　to　the　cleverness　of　the　vicarage　pony。



It　was　partly　at　such　junctures　as　these　and　partly　at　quite

different　ones　that；　with　the　turn　my　matters　had　now　taken；

my　predicament；　as　I　have　called　it；　grew　most　sensible。

The　fact　that　the　days　passed　for　me　without　another　encounter　ought；

it　would　have　appeared；　to　have　done　something　toward　soothing　my　nerves。

Since　the　light　brush；　that　second　night　on　the　upper　landing；

of　the　presence　of　a　woman　at　the　foot　of　the　stair；　I　had　seen　nothing；

whether　in　or　out　of　the　house；　that　one　had　better　not　have　seen。

There　was　many　a　corner　round　which　I　expected　to　come　upon　Quint；

and　many　a　situation　that；　in　a　merely　sinister　way；　would　have　favored

the　appearance　of　Miss　Jessel。　　The　summer　had　turned；　the　summer　had　gone；

the　autumn　had　dropped　upon　Bly　and　had　blown　out　half　our　lights。

The　place；　with　its　gray　sky　and　withered　garlands；　its　bared　spaces

and　scattered　dead　leaves；　was　like　a　theater　after　the　performance

all　strewn　with　crumpled　playbills。　　There　were　exactly　states　of　the　air；

conditions　of　sound　and　of　stillness；　unspeakable　impressions

of　the　KIND　of　ministering　moment；　that　brought　back　to　me；

long　enough　to　catch　it；　the　feeling　of　the　medium　in　which；

that　June　evening　out　of　doors；　I　had　had　my　first　sight　of　Quint；

and　in　which；　too；　at　those　other　instants；　I　had；　after　seeing　him

through　the　window；　looked　for　him　in　vain　in　the　circle　of　shrubbery。

I　recognized　the　signs；　the　portentsI　recognized　the　moment；　the　spot。

But　they　remained　unaccompanied　and　empty；　and　I　continued　unmolested；

if　unmolested　one　could　call　a　young　woman　whose　sensibility　had；

in　the　most　extraordinary　fashion；　not　declined　but　deepened。

I　had　said　in　my　talk　with　Mrs。　Grose　on　that　horrid　scene　of　Flora's

by　the　lakeand　had　perplexed　her　by　so　sayingthat　it　would　from

that　moment　distress　me　much　more　to　lose　my　power　than　to　keep　it。

I　had　then　expressed　what　was　vividly　in　my　mind：　　the　truth　that；

whether　the　children　really　saw　or　notsince；　that　is；　it　was

not　yet　definitely　provedI　greatly　preferred；　as　a　safeguard；

the　fullness　of　my　own　exposure。　　I　was　ready　to　know　the　very　worst

that　was　to　be　known。　　What　I　had　then　had　an　ugly　glimpse　of　was

that　my　eyes　might　be　sealed　just　while　theirs　were　most　opened。

Well；　my　eyes　WERE　sealed；　it　appeared；　at　present

a　consummation　for　which　it　seemed　blasphemous　not　to　thank　God。

There　was；　alas；　a　difficulty　about　that：　　I　would　have　thanked

him　with　all　my　soul　had　I　not　had　in　a　proportionate　measure　this

conviction　of　the　secret　of　my　pupils。



How　can　I　retrace　today　the　strange　steps　of　my　obsession？

There　were　times　of　our　being　together　when　I　would　have　been　ready

to　swear　that；　literally；　in　my　presence；　but　with　my　direct　sense

of　it　closed；　they　had　visitors　who　were　known　and　were　welcome。

Then　it　was　that；　had　I　not　been　deterred　by　the　very　chance　that

such　an　injury　might　prove　greater　than　the　injury　to　be　averted；

my　exultation　would　have　broken　out。　　〃They're　here；　they're　here；

you　little　wretches；〃　I　would　have　cried；　〃and　you　can't　deny　it　now！〃

The　little　wretches　denied　it　with　all　the　added　volume　of　their

sociability　and　their　tenderness；　in　just　the　crystal　depths　of　which

like　the　flash　of　a　fish　in　a　streamthe　mockery　of　their　advantage

peeped　up。　　The　shock；　in　truth；　had　sunk　into　me　still　deeper

than　I　knew　on　the　night　when；　looking　out　to　see　either　Quint

or　Miss　Jessel　under　the　stars；　I　had　beheld　the　boy　over　whose

rest　I　watched　and　who　had　immediately　brought　in　with　him

had　straightway；　there；　turned　it　on　methe　lovely　upward　look　with　which；

from　the　battlements　above　me；　the　hideous　apparition　of　Quint　had　played。

If　it　was　a　question　of　a　scare；　my　discovery　on　this　occasion

had　scared　me　more　than　any　other；　and　it　was　in　the　condition

of　nerves　produced　by　it　that　I　made　my　actual　inductions。

They　harassed　me　so　that　sometimes；　at　odd　moments；　I　shut　myself

up　audibly　to　rehearseit　was　at　once　a　fantastic　relief　and　a

renewed　despairthe　manner　in　which　I　might　come　to　the　point。

I　approached　it　from　one　side　and　the　other　while；　in　my　room；

I　flung　myself　about；　but　I　always　broke　down　in　the　monstrous

utterance　of　names。　　As　they　died　away　on　my　lips；　I　said　to　myself

that　I　should　indeed　help　them　to　represent　something　infamous；

if；　by　pronouncing　them；　I　should　violate　as　rare　a　little　case

of　instinctive　delicacy　as　any　schoolroom；　probably；　had　ever　known。

When　I　said　to　myself：　　〃THEY　have　the　manners　to　be　silent；

and　you；　trusted　as　you　are；　the　baseness　to　speak！〃

I　felt　myself　crimson　and　I　covered　my　face　with　my　hands。

After　these　secret　scenes　I　chattered　more　than　ever；　going　on

volubly　enough　till　one　of　our　prodigious；　palpable　hushes　occurred

I　can　call　them　nothing　elsethe　strange；　dizzy　lift　or　swim

（I　try　for　terms！）　into　a　stillness；　a　pause　of　all　life；　that　had

nothing　to　do　with　the　more　or　less　noise　that　at　the　moment　we

might　be　engaged　in　making　and　that　I　could　hear　through　any　deepened

exhilaration　or　quickened　recitation　or　louder　strum　of