the turn of the screw-第18章

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however；　was　to　stoop　straight　down　and　pluckquite　as　if　it

were　all　she　was　there　fora　big；　ugly　spray　of　withered　fern。

I　instantly　became　sure　she　had　just　come　out　of　the　copse。

She　waited　for　us；　not　herself　taking　a　step；　and　I　was

conscious　of　the　rare　solemnity　with　which　we　presently

approached　her。　　She　smiled　and　smiled；　and　we　met；　but　it

was　all　done　in　a　silence　by　this　time　flagrantly　ominous。

Mrs。　Grose　was　the　first　to　break　the　spell：　　she　threw

herself　on　her　knees　and；　drawing　the　child　to　her　breast；

clasped　in　a　long　embrace　the　little　tender；　yielding　body。

While　this　dumb　convulsion　lasted　I　could　only　watch　it

which　I　did　the　more　intently　when　I　saw　Flora's　face　peep

at　me　over　our　companion's　shoulder。　　It　was　serious　now

the　flicker　had　left　it；　but　it　strengthened　the　pang　with　which　I

at　that　moment　envied　Mrs。　Grose　the　simplicity　of　HER　relation。

Still；　all　this　while；　nothing　more　passed　between　us　save

that　Flora　had　let　her　foolish　fern　again　drop　to　the　ground。

What　she　and　I　had　virtually　said　to　each　other　was　that

pretexts　were　useless　now。　　When　Mrs。　Grose　finally　got　up　she

kept　the　child's　hand；　so　that　the　two　were　still　before　me；

and　the　singular　reticence　of　our　communion　was　even　more

marked　in　the　frank　look　she　launched　me。　　〃I'll　be　hanged；〃

it　said；　〃if　_I_'ll　speak！〃



It　was　Flora　who；　gazing　all　over　me　in　candid　wonder；

was　the　first。　　She　was　struck　with　our　bareheaded　aspect。

〃Why；　where　are　your　things？〃



〃Where　yours　are；　my　dear！〃　　I　promptly　returned。



She　had　already　got　back　her　gaiety；　and　appeared　to　take

this　as　an　answer　quite　sufficient。　　〃And　where's　Miles？〃

she　went　on。



There　was　something　in　the　small　valor　of　it　that　quite　finished　me：

these　three　words　from　her　were；　in　a　flash　like　the　glitter　of　a

drawn　blade；　the　jostle　of　the　cup　that　my　hand；　for　weeks　and　weeks；

had　held　high　and　full　to　the　brim　that　now；　even　before　speaking；

I　felt　overflow　in　a　deluge。　　〃I'll　tell　you　if　you'll　tell　ME〃

I　heard　myself　say；　then　heard　the　tremor　in　which　it　broke。



〃Well；　what？〃



Mrs。　Grose's　suspense　blazed　at　me；　but　it　was　too　late　now；

and　I　brought　the　thing　out　handsomely。　　〃Where；　my　pet；

is　Miss　Jessel？〃







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　XX





Just　as　in　the　churchyard　with　Miles；　the　whole　thing　was　upon　us。

Much　as　I　had　made　of　the　fact　that　this　name　had　never　once；

between　us；　been　sounded；　the　quick；　smitten　glare　with

which　the　child's　face　now　received　it　fairly　likened

my　breach　of　the　silence　to　the　smash　of　a　pane　of　glass。

It　added　to　the　interposing　cry；　as　if　to　stay　the　blow；

that　Mrs。　Grose；　at　the　same　instant；　uttered　over　my　violence

the　shriek　of　a　creature　scared；　or　rather　wounded；　which；　in　turn；

within　a　few　seconds；　was　completed　by　a　gasp　of　my　own。

I　seized　my　colleague's　arm。　　〃She's　there；　she's　there！〃



Miss　Jessel　stood　before　us　on　the　opposite　bank　exactly　as　she

had　stood　the　other　time；　and　I　remember；　strangely；　as　the

first　feeling　now　produced　in　me；　my　thrill　of　joy　at　having

brought　on　a　proof。　　She　was　there；　and　I　was　justified；

she　was　there；　and　I　was　neither　cruel　nor　mad。

She　was　there　for　poor　scared　Mrs。　Grose；　but　she　was　there

most　for　Flora；　and　no　moment　of　my　monstrous　time　was　perhaps

so　extraordinary　as　that　in　which　I　consciously　threw　out　to　her

with　the　sense　that；　pale　and　ravenous　demon　as　she　was；　she　would

catch　and　understand　itan　inarticulate　message　of　gratitude。

She　rose　erect　on　the　spot　my　friend　and　I　had　lately　quitted；

and　there　was　not；　in　all　the　long　reach　of　her　desire；

an　inch　of　her　evil　that　fell　short。　　This　first　vividness

of　vision　and　emotion　were　things　of　a　few　seconds；

during　which　Mrs。　Grose's　dazed　blink　across　to　where　I　pointed

struck　me　as　a　sovereign　sign　that　she　too　at　last　saw；

just　as　it　carried　my　own　eyes　precipitately　to　the　child。

The　revelation　then　of　the　manner　in　which　Flora　was　affected

startled　me；　in　truth；　far　more　than　it　would　have　done　to　find

her　also　merely　agitated；　for　direct　dismay　was　of　course　not

what　I　had　expected。　　Prepared　and　on　her　guard　as　our　pursuit

had　actually　made　her；　she　would　repress　every　betrayal；

and　I　was　therefore　shaken；　on　the　spot；　by　my　first

glimpse　of　the　particular　one　for　which　I　had　not　allowed。

To　see　her；　without　a　convulsion　of　her　small　pink　face；　not　even

feign　to　glance　in　the　direction　of　the　prodigy　I　announced；

but　only；　instead　of　that；　turn　at　ME　an　expression　of　hard；

still　gravity；　an　expression　absolutely　new　and　unprecedented

and　that　appeared　to　read　and　accuse　and　judge　me

this　was　a　stroke　that　somehow　converted　the　little　girl

herself　into　the　very　presence　that　could　make　me　quail。

I　quailed　even　though　my　certitude　that　she　thoroughly　saw

was　never　greater　than　at　that　instant；　and　in　the　immediate

need　to　defend　myself　I　called　it　passionately　to　witness。

〃She's　there；　you　little　unhappy　thingthere；　there；　THERE；

and　you　see　her　as　well　as　you　see　me！〃　　I　had　said　shortly

before　to　Mrs。　Grose　that　she　was　not　at　these　times　a　child；

but　an　old；　old　woman；　and　that　description　of　her　could　not

have　been　more　strikingly　confirmed　than　in　the　way　in　which；

for　all　answer　to　this；　she　simply　showed　me；　without　a　concession；

an　admission；　of　her　eyes；　a　countenance　of　deeper　and　deeper；

of　indeed　suddenly　quite　fixed；　reprobation。　　I　was　by　this　time

if　I　can　put　the　whole　thing　at　all　togethermore　appalled

at　what　I　may　properly　call　her　manner　than　at　anything　else；

though　it　was　simultaneously　with　this　that　I　became　aware

of　having　Mrs。　Grose　also；　and　very　formidably；　to　reckon　with。

My　elder　companion；　the　next　moment；　at　any　rate；　blotted　out

everything　but　her　own　flushed　face　and　her　loud；　shocked　protest；

a　burst　of　high　disapproval。　　〃What　a　dreadful　turn；

to　be　sure；　miss！　　Where　on　earth　do　you　see　anything？〃



I　could　only　grasp　her　more　quickly　yet；　for　even　while　she

spoke　the　hideous　plain　presence　stood　undimmed　and　undaunted。

It　had　already　lasted　a　minute；　and　it　lasted　while　I　continued；

seizing　my　colleague；　quite　thrusting　her　at　it　and　presenting　her　to　it；

to　insist　with　my　pointing　hand。　　〃You　don't　see　her　exactly　as　WE　see？

you　mean　to　say　you　don't　nowNOW？　She's　as　big　as　a　blazing　fire！

Only　look；　dearest　woman；　LOOK！〃　She　looked；　even　as　I　did；

and　gave　me；　with　her　deep　groan　of　negation；　repulsion；　compassion

the　mixture　with　her　pity　of　her　relief　at　her　exemptiona　sense；

touching　to　me　even　then；　that　she　would　have　backed　me　up　if　she　could。

I　might　well　have　needed　that；　for　with　this　hard　blow　of　the　proof　that

her　eyes　were　hopelessly　sealed　I　felt　my　own　situation　horribly　crumble；

I　feltI　sawmy　livid　predecessor　press；　from　her　position；　on　my　defeat；

and　I　was　conscious；　more　than　all；　of　what　I　should　have　from　this

instant　to　deal　with　in　the　astounding　little　attitude　of　Flora。

Into　this　attitude　Mrs。　Grose　immediately　and　violently　entered；

breaking；　even　while　there　pierced　through　my　sense　of　ruin　a　prodigious

private　triumph；　into　breathless　reassurance。



〃She　isn't　there；　little　lady；　and　nobody's　thereand　you　never　see　nothing；

my　sweet！　　How　can　poor　Miss　Jesselwhen　poor　Miss　Jessel's　dead　and　buried？

WE　know；　don't　we；　love？and　she　appealed；　blundering　in；　to　the　child。

〃It's　all　a　mere　mistake　and　a　worry　and　a　jokeand　we'll　go　home　as　fast

as　we　can！〃



Our　companion；　on　this；　had　responded　with　a　strange；

quick　primness　of　propriety；　and　they　were　again；　with　Mrs。　Grose

on　her　feet；　united；　as　it　were；　in　pained　opposition　to　me。

Flora　continued　to　fix　me　with　her　small　mask　of　reprobation；

and　even　at　that　minute　I　prayed　God　to　forgive　me　for　seeming

to　see　that；　as　she　stood　there　holding　tight　to　our　friend's　dress；

her　incomparable　childish　beauty　had　suddenly　failed；

had　quite　vanished。　　I've　said　it　alreadyshe　was　literally；

she　was　hideously；　hard；　she　had　turned　common　and　almost　ugly。

〃I　don't　know　what　you　mean。　　I　see　nobody。　　I　see　nothing。

I　never　HAVE。　　I　think　you're　cruel。　　I　don't　like　you！〃

Then；　after　this　deliverance；　which　might　have　been　that　of　a

vulgarly　pert　little　girl　in　the　street；　she　hugged　Mrs。　Grose

more　closely　and　buried　in　her　skirts　the　dreadful　little　face。

In　this　position　she　produced　an　almost　furious　wail。

〃Take　me　away；　take　me　awayoh；　take　me　away　from　HER！〃



〃From　ME？〃　I　panted。



〃From　youfrom　you！〃　she　cried。



Even　Mrs。　Grose　looked　across　at　me　dismayed；　while　I　had

nothing　to　do　but　communicate　again　with　the　figure　that；

on　the　opposite　bank；　without　a　movement；　as　rigidly　still

as　if　catching；　beyond　the　interval；　our　voices；　was　as　vividly

there　for　my　disaster　as　it　was　not　there　for　my　service。

The　wretched　child　had　spoken　exactly　as　if　she　had　got　from

some　outside　source　each　of　her　stabbing　little　words；　and　I

could　therefore；　in　the　full　despair　of　all　I　had　to　accept；

but　sadly　shake　my　head　at　her。　　〃If　I　had　ever　doubted；

all　my　doubt　would　at　present　have　gone。　　I've　been　living　with

the　miserable　truth；　and　now　it　has　only　too　much　closed　round　me。

Of　course　I've　lost　you：　　I've　interfered；　and　you've　seen

under　HER　dictation〃with　which　I　faced；　over　the　pool　again；

our　infernal　witness〃the　easy　and　perfect　way　to　meet　it。

I've　done　my　best；　but　I've　lost　you。　　Goodbye。〃　　For　Mrs。　Grose

I　had　an　imperative；　an　almost　frantic　〃Go；　go！〃　before　which；

in　infinite　distress；　but　mutely　possessed　of　the　little　girl

and　clearly　convinced；　in　spite　of　her　blindness；　that　something

awful　had　occurred　and　some　collapse　engulfed　us；　she　retreated；

by　the　way　we　had　come；　as　fast　as　she　could　move。



Of　what　first　happened　when　I　was　left　alone　I　had　no　subsequent　memory。

I　only　knew　that　at　the　end　of；　I　suppose；　a　quarter　of　an　hour；

an　odorous　dampness　and　roughness；　chilling　and　piercing

my　trouble；　had　made　me　understand　that　I　must　have　thrown　myself；

on　my　face；　on　the　ground　and　given　way　to　a　wildness　of　grief。

I　must　have　lain　there　long　and　cried　and　sobbed；　for　when　I　raised

my　head　the　day　was　almost　done。　　I　got　up　and　looked　a　moment；

through　the　twilight；　at　the　gray　pool　and　its　blank；　haunted　edge；

and　then　I　took；　back　to　the　house；　my　dreary　and　difficult　course。

When　I　reached　the　gate　in　the　fence　the　boat；　to　my　surprise；　was　gone；

so　that　I　had　a　fresh　reflection　to　make　on　Flora's　extraordinary

command　of　the　situation。　　She　passed　that　night；　by　the　most　tacit；

and　I　should　add；　were　not　the　word　so　grotesque　a　false　note；

the　happiest　of　arrangements；　with　Mrs。　Grose。　　I　saw　neither　of　them

on　my　return；　but；　on　the　other　hand；　as　by　an　ambiguous　compensation；

I　saw　a　great　deal　of　Miles。　　I　sawI　can　use　no　other　phrase

so　much　of　him　that　it　was　as　if　it　were　more　than　it　had　ever　been。

No　evening　I　had　p