the turn of the screw-第19章

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I　saw　a　great　deal　of　Miles。　　I　sawI　can　use　no　other　phrase

so　much　of　him　that　it　was　as　if　it　were　more　than　it　had　ever　been。

No　evening　I　had　passed　at　Bly　had　the　portentous　quality　of　this　one；

in　spite　of　whichand　in　spite　also　of　the　deeper　depths　of

consternation　that　had　opened　beneath　my　feetthere　was　literally；

in　the　ebbing　actual；　an　extraordinarily　sweet　sadness。

On　reaching　the　house　I　had　never　so　much　as　looked　for　the　boy；

I　had　simply　gone　straight　to　my　room　to　change　what　I　was　wearing

and　to　take　in；　at　a　glance；　much　material　testimony　to　Flora's　rupture。

Her　little　belongings　had　all　been　removed。　　When　later；

by　the　schoolroom　fire；　I　was　served　with　tea　by　the　usual　maid；

I　indulged；　on　the　article　of　my　other　pupil；　in　no　inquiry　whatever。

He　had　his　freedom　nowhe　might　have　it　to　the　end！　　Well；　he　did

have　it；　and　it　consistedin　part　at　leastof　his　coming

in　at　about　eight　o'clock　and　sitting　down　with　me　in　silence。

On　the　removal　of　the　tea　things　I　had　blown　out　the　candles

and　drawn　my　chair　closer：　　I　was　conscious　of　a　mortal　coldness

and　felt　as　if　I　should　never　again　be　warm。　　So；　when　he　appeared；

I　was　sitting　in　the　glow　with　my　thoughts。　　He　paused　a　moment

by　the　door　as　if　to　look　at　me；　thenas　if　to　share　them

came　to　the　other　side　of　the　hearth　and　sank　into　a　chair。

We　sat　there　in　absolute　stillness；　yet　he　wanted；　I　felt；

to　be　with　me。







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　XXI





Before　a　new　day；　in　my　room；　had　fully　broken；　my　eyes　opened

to　Mrs。　Grose；　who　had　come　to　my　bedside　with　worse　news。

Flora　was　so　markedly　feverish　that　an　illness　was　perhaps　at　hand；

she　had　passed　a　night　of　extreme　unrest；　a　night　agitated　above

all　by　fears　that　had　for　their　subject　not　in　the　least　her　former；

but　wholly　her　present；　governess。　　It　was　not　against　the　possible

re…entrance　of　Miss　Jessel　on　the　scene　that　she　protested

it　was　conspicuously　and　passionately　against　mine。　　I　was　promptly

on　my　feet　of　course；　and　with　an　immense　deal　to　ask；　the　more　that　my

friend　had　discernibly　now　girded　her　loins　to　meet　me　once　more。

This　I　felt　as　soon　as　I　had　put　to　her　the　question　of　her　sense

of　the　child's　sincerity　as　against　my　own。　　〃She　persists　in　denying

to　you　that　she　saw；　or　has　ever　seen；　anything？〃



My　visitor's　trouble；　truly；　was　great。　　〃Ah；　miss；　it　isn't　a　matter　on　which

I　can　push　her！　　Yet　it　isn't　either；　I　must　say；　as　if　I　much　needed　to。

It　has　made　her；　every　inch　of　her；　quite　old。〃



〃Oh；　I　see　her　perfectly　from　here。　　She　resents；　for　all

the　world　like　some　high　little　personage；　the　imputation

on　her　truthfulness　and；　as　it　were；　her　respectability。

‘Miss　Jessel　indeedSHE！'　Ah；　she's　‘respectable；'　the　chit！

The　impression　she　gave　me　there　yesterday　was；　I　assure　you；

the　very　strangest　of　all；　it　was　quite　beyond　any　of　the　others。

I　DID　put　my　foot　in　it！　　She'll　never　speak　to　me　again。〃



Hideous　and　obscure　as　it　all　was；　it　held　Mrs。　Grose　briefly　silent；

then　she　granted　my　point　with　a　frankness　which；　I　made　sure；

had　more　behind　it。　　〃I　think　indeed；　miss；　she　never　will。

She　do　have　a　grand　manner　about　it！〃



〃And　that　manner〃I　summed　it　up〃is　practically　what's　the　matter

with　her　now！〃



Oh；　that　manner；　I　could　see　in　my　visitor's　face；　and　not

a　little　else　besides！　　〃She　asks　me　every　three　minutes　if　I

think　you're　coming　in。〃



〃I　seeI　see。〃　　I；　too；　on　my　side；　had　so　much　more　than　worked　it　out。

〃Has　she　said　to　you　since　yesterdayexcept　to　repudiate　her　familiarity

with　anything　so　dreadfula　single　other　word　about　Miss　Jessel？〃



〃Not　one；　miss。　　And　of　course　you　know；〃　my　friend　added；

〃I　took　it　from　her；　by　the　lake；　that；　just　then　and　there

at　least；　there　WAS　nobody。〃



〃Rather！　and；　naturally；　you　take　it　from　her　still。〃



〃I　don't　contradict　her。　　What　else　can　I　do？〃



〃Nothing　in　the　world！　　You've　the　cleverest　little　person　to　deal　with。

They've　made　themtheir　two　friends；　I　meanstill　cleverer

even　than　nature　did；　for　it　was　wondrous　material　to　play　on！

Flora　has　now　her　grievance；　and　she'll　work　it　to　the　end。〃



〃Yes；　miss；　but　to　WHAT　end？〃



〃Why；　that　of　dealing　with　me　to　her　uncle。　　She'll　make　me　out　to　him

the　lowest　creature！〃



I　winced　at　the　fair　show　of　the　scene　in　Mrs。　Grose's　face；

she　looked　for　a　minute　as　if　she　sharply　saw　them　together。

〃And　him　who　thinks　so　well　of　you！〃



〃He　has　an　odd　wayit　comes　over　me　now；〃　I　laughed；〃of　proving　it！

But　that　doesn't　matter。　　What　Flora　wants；　of　course；　is　to　get　rid　of　me。〃



My　companion　bravely　concurred。　　〃Never　again　to　so　much　as　look　at　you。〃



〃So　that　what　you've　come　to　me　now　for；〃　I　asked；　〃is　to　speed　me　on

my　way？〃　　Before　she　had　time　to　reply；　however；　I　had　her　in　check。

〃I've　a　better　ideathe　result　of　my　reflections。　　My　going　WOULD　seem

the　right　thing；　and　on　Sunday　I　was　terribly　near　it。　　Yet　that　won't　do。

It's　YOU　who　must　go。　　You　must　take　Flora。〃



My　visitor；　at　this；　did　speculate。　　〃But　where　in　the　world？〃



〃Away　from　here。　　Away　from　THEM。　　Away；　even　most　of　all；　now；　from　me。

Straight　to　her　uncle。〃



〃Only　to　tell　on　you？〃



〃No；　not　‘only'！　To　leave　me；　in　addition；　with　my　remedy。〃



She　was　still　vague。　　〃And　what　IS　your　remedy？〃



〃Your　loyalty；　to　begin　with。　　And　then　Miles's。〃



She　looked　at　me　hard。　　〃Do　you　think　he？〃



〃Won't；　if　he　has　the　chance；　turn　on　me？　　Yes；　I　venture　still

to　think　it。　　At　all　events；　I　want　to　try。　　Get　off　with　his

sister　as　soon　as　possible　and　leave　me　with　him　alone。〃

I　was　amazed；　myself；　at　the　spirit　I　had　still　in　reserve；

and　therefore　perhaps　a　trifle　the　more　disconcerted

at　the　way　in　which；　in　spite　of　this　fine　example　of　it；

she　hesitated。　　〃There's　one　thing；　of　course；〃　I　went　on：

〃they　mustn't；　before　she　goes；　see　each　other　for　three　seconds。〃

Then　it　came　over　me　that；　in　spite　of　Flora's　presumable

sequestration　from　the　instant　of　her　return　from　the　pool；

it　might　already　be　too　late。　　〃Do　you　mean；〃　I　anxiously　asked；

〃that　they　HAVE　met？〃



At　this　she　quite　flushed。　　〃Ah；　miss；　I'm　not　such　a　fool　as　that！

If　I've　been　obliged　to　leave　her　three　or　four　times；

it　has　been　each　time　with　one　of　the　maids；　and　at　present；

though　she's　alone；　she's　locked　in　safe。　　And　yetand　yet！〃

There　were　too　many　things。



〃And　yet　what？〃



〃Well；　are　you　so　sure　of　the　little　gentleman？〃



〃I'm　not　sure　of　anything　but　YOU。　　But　I　have；　since　last　evening；

a　new　hope。　　I　think　he　wants　to　give　me　an　opening。

I　do　believe　thatpoor　little　exquisite　wretch！he　wants　to　speak。

Last　evening；　in　the　firelight　and　the　silence；　he　sat　with　me

for　two　hours　as　if　it　were　just　coming。〃



Mrs。　Grose　looked　hard；　through　the　window；　at　the　gray；　gathering　day。

〃And　did　it　come？〃



〃No；　though　I　waited　and　waited；　I　confess　it　didn't；　and　it　was

without　a　breach　of　the　silence　or　so　much　as　a　faint　allusion　to　his

sister's　condition　and　absence　that　we　at　last　kissed　for　good　night。

All　the　same；〃　I　continued；　〃I　can't；　if　her　uncle　sees　her；

consent　to　his　seeing　her　brother　without　my　having　given　the　boy

and　most　of　all　because　things　have　got　so　bada　little　more　time。〃



My　friend　appeared　on　this　ground　more　reluctant　than　I　could

quite　understand。　　〃What　do　you　mean　by　more　time？〃



〃Well；　a　day　or　tworeally　to　bring　it　out。　　He'll　then　be　on

MY　sideof　which　you　see　the　importance。　　If　nothing　comes；

I　shall　only　fail；　and　you　will；　at　the　worst；　have　helped　me　by　doing；

on　your　arrival　in　town；　whatever　you　may　have　found　possible。〃

So　I　put　it　before　her；　but　she　continued　for　a　little　so　inscrutably

embarrassed　that　I　came　again　to　her　aid。　　〃Unless；　indeed；〃

I　wound　up；　〃you　really　want　NOT　to　go。〃



I　could　see　it；　in　her　face；　at　last　clear　itself；

she　put　out　her　hand　to　me　as　a　pledge。　　〃I'll　goI'll　go。

I'll　go　this　morning。〃



I　wanted　to　be　very　just。　　〃If　you　SHOULD　wish　still　to　wait；

I　would　engage　she　shouldn't　see　me。〃



〃No；　no：　　it's　the　place　itself。　　She　must　leave　it。〃

She　held　me　a　moment　with　heavy　eyes；　then　brought　out　the　rest。

〃Your　idea's　the　right　one。　　I　myself；　miss〃



〃Well？〃



〃I　can't　stay。〃



The　look　she　gave　me　with　it　made　me　jump　at　possibilities。

〃You　mean　that；　since　yesterday；　you　HAVE　seen？〃



She　shook　her　head　with　dignity。　　〃I've　HEARD！〃



〃Heard？〃



〃From　that　childhorrors！　　There！〃　she　sighed　with　tragic　relief。

〃On　my　honor；　miss；　she　says　things！〃　But　at　this　evocation　she　broke　down；

she　dropped；　with　a　sudden　sob；　upon　my　sofa　and；　as　I　had　seen　her　do　before；

gave　way　to　all　the　grief　of　it。



It　was　quite　in　another　manner　that　I；　for　my　part；　let　myself　go。

〃Oh；　thank　God！〃



She　sprang　up　again　at　this；　drying　her　eyes　with　a　groan。　　〃'Thank　God'？〃



〃It　so　justifies　me！〃



〃It　does　that；　miss！〃



I　couldn't　have　desired　more　emphasis；　but　I　just　hesitated。

〃She's　so　horrible？〃



I　saw　my　colleague　scarce　knew　how　to　put　it。　　〃Really　shocking。〃



〃And　about　me？〃



〃About　you；　misssince　you　must　have　it。　　It's　beyond　everything；

for　a　young　lady；　and　I　can't　think　wherever　she　must　have　picked　up〃



〃The　appalling　language　she　applied　to　me？　　I　can；　then！〃

I　broke　in　with　a　laugh　that　was　doubtless　significant　enough。



It　only；　in　truth；　left　my　friend　still　more　grave。

〃Well；　perhaps　I　ought　to　alsosince　I've　heard　some　of　it　before！

Yet　I　can't　bear　it；〃　the　poor　woman　went　on　while；　with　the　same　movement；

she　glanced；　on　my　dressing　table；　at　the　face　of　my　watch。

〃But　I　must　go　back。〃



I　kept　her；　however。　　〃Ah；　if　you　can't　bear　it！〃



〃How　can　I　stop　with　her；　you　mean？　　Why；　just　FOR　that：

to　get　her　away。　　Far　from　this；〃　she　pursued；　〃far　from　THEM…〃



〃She　may　be　different？　　She　may　be　free？〃　　I　seized　her　almost　with　joy。

〃Then；　in　spite　of　yesterday；　you　BELIEVE〃



〃In　such　doings？〃　　Her　simple　description　of　them　required；

in　the　light　of　her　expression；　to　be　carried　no　further；

and　she　gave　me　the　whole　thing　as　she　had　never　done。

〃I　believe。〃



Yes；　it　was　a　joy；　and　we　were　still　shoulder　to　shoulder：　　if　I　might

continue　sure　of　that　I　should　care　but　little　what　else　happened。

My　support　in　the　presence　of　disaster　would　be　the　same　as　it　had

been　in　my　early　need　of　confidence；　and　if　my　friend　would　answer

for　my　honesty；　I　would　answer　for　all　the　rest。　　On　the　point　of

taking　leave　of　her；　nonetheless；　I　was　to　some　extent　embarrassed。

〃There's　one　thing；　of　courseit　occurs　to　meto　remember。

My　letter；　giving　the　alarm；　will　have　reached　town　before　you。〃



I　now　perceived　still　more　how　she　had　been　beating　about　the　bush　and

how　weary　at　last　it　had　made　her。　　〃Your　letter　won't　have　got　there。

Your　letter　never　went。〃



〃What　the