the turn of the screw-第8章

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at　this　juncture　to　the　stitching　in　which　I　was　engaged；

and　I　can　feel　once　more　the　spasm　of　my　effort　not　to　move　them

till　I　should　so　have　steadied　myself　as　to　be　able　to　make　up

my　mind　what　to　do。　　There　was　an　alien　object　in　viewa　figure

whose　right　of　presence　I　instantly；　passionately　questioned。

I　recollect　counting　over　perfectly　the　possibilities；

reminding　myself　that　nothing　was　more　natural；　for　instance；

then　the　appearance　of　one　of　the　men　about　the　place；　or　even

of　a　messenger；　a　postman；　or　a　tradesman's　boy；　from　the　village。

That　reminder　had　as　little　effect　on　my　practical

certitude　as　I　was　consciousstill　even　without　looking

of　its　having　upon　the　character　and　attitude　of　our　visitor。

Nothing　was　more　natural　than　that　these　things　should　be

the　other　things　that　they　absolutely　were　not。



Of　the　positive　identity　of　the　apparition　I　would　assure　myself

as　soon　as　the　small　clock　of　my　courage　should　have　ticked　out　the

right　second；　meanwhile；　with　an　effort　that　was　already　sharp　enough；

I　transferred　my　eyes　straight　to　little　Flora；　who；　at　the　moment；

was　about　ten　yards　away。　　My　heart　had　stood　still　for　an　instant

with　the　wonder　and　terror　of　the　question　whether　she　too　would　see；

and　I　held　my　breath　while　I　waited　for　what　a　cry　from　her；　what　some

sudden　innocent　sign　either　of　interest　or　of　alarm；　would　tell　me。

I　waited；　but　nothing　came；　then；　in　the　first　placeand　there　is

something　more　dire　in　this；　I　feel；　than　in　anything　I　have　to　relate

I　was　determined　by　a　sense　that；　within　a　minute；　all　sounds　from　her

had　previously　dropped；　and；　in　the　second；　by　the　circumstance　that；

also　within　the　minute；　she　had；　in　her　play；　turned　her　back　to　the　water。

This　was　her　attitude　when　I　at　last　looked　at　herlooked　with　the　confirmed

conviction　that　we　were　still；　together；　under　direct　personal　notice。

She　had　picked　up　a　small　flat　piece　of　wood；　which　happened　to　have　in　it

a　little　hole　that　had　evidently　suggested　to　her　the　idea　of　sticking

in　another　fragment　that　might　figure　as　a　mast　and　make　the　thing　a　boat。

This　second　morsel；　as　I　watched　her；　she　was　very　markedly　and　intently

attempting　to　tighten　in　its　place。　　My　apprehension　of　what　she　was　doing

sustained　me　so　that　after　some　seconds　I　felt　I　was　ready　for　more。

Then　I　again　shifted　my　eyesI　faced　what　I　had　to　face。







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　VII





I　got　hold　of　Mrs。　Grose　as　soon　after　this　as　I　could；　and　I　can

give　no　intelligible　account　of　how　I　fought　out　the　interval。

Yet　I　still　hear　myself　cry　as　I　fairly　threw　myself　into　her　arms：

〃They　KNOWit's　too　monstrous：　　they　know；　they　know！〃



〃And　what　on　earth？〃　I　felt　her　incredulity　as　she　held　me。



〃Why；　all　that　WE　knowand　heaven　knows　what　else　besides！〃

Then；　as　she　released　me；　I　made　it　out　to　her；　made　it　out　perhaps　only

now　with　full　coherency　even　to　myself。　　〃Two　hours　ago；　in　the　garden〃

I　could　scarce　articulate〃Flora　SAW！〃



Mrs。　Grose　took　it　as　she　might　have　taken　a　blow　in　the　stomach。

〃She　has　told　you？〃　she　panted。



〃Not　a　wordthat's　the　horror。　　She　kept　it　to　herself！

The　child　of　eight；　THAT　child！〃　　Unutterable　still；

for　me；　was　the　stupefaction　of　it。



Mrs。　Grose；　of　course；　could　only　gape　the　wider。

〃Then　how　do　you　know？〃



〃I　was　thereI　saw　with　my　eyes：　　saw　that　she　was　perfectly　aware。〃



〃Do　you　mean　aware　of　HIM？〃



〃Noof　HER。〃　　I　was　conscious　as　I　spoke　that　I　looked

prodigious　things；　for　I　got　the　slow　reflection　of　them

in　my　companion's　face。　　〃Another　personthis　time；

but　a　figure　of　quite　as　unmistakable　horror　and　evil：

a　woman　in　black；　pale　and　dreadfulwith　such　an　air　also；

and　such　a　face！on　the　other　side　of　the　lake。

I　was　there　with　the　childquiet　for　the　hour；　and　in　the　midst

of　it　she　came。〃



〃Came　howfrom　where？〃



〃From　where　they　come　from！　　She　just　appeared　and　stood　there

but　not　so　near。〃



〃And　without　coming　nearer？〃



〃Oh；　for　the　effect　and　the　feeling；　she　might　have　been　as　close　as　you！〃



My　friend；　with　an　odd　impulse；　fell　back　a　step。

〃Was　she　someone　you've　never　seen？〃



〃Yes。　　But　someone　the　child　has。　　Someone　YOU　have。〃

Then；　to　show　how　I　had　thought　it　all　out：　　〃My　predecessor

the　one　who　died。〃



〃Miss　Jessel？〃



〃Miss　Jessel。　　You　don't　believe　me？〃　　I　pressed。



She　turned　right　and　left　in　her　distress。　　〃How　can　you　be　sure？〃



This　drew　from　me；　in　the　state　of　my　nerves；　a　flash　of　impatience。

〃Then　ask　FloraSHE'S　sure！〃　　But　I　had　no　sooner　spoken

than　I　caught　myself　up。　　〃No；　for　God's　sake；　DON'T！〃

She'll　say　she　isn'tshe'll　lie！〃



Mrs。　Grose　was　not　too　bewildered　instinctively　to　protest。

〃Ah；　how　CAN　you？〃



〃Because　I'm　clear。　　Flora　doesn't　want　me　to　know。〃



〃It's　only　then　to　spare　you。〃



〃No；　nothere　are　depths；　depths！　　The　more　I　go　over　it；

the　more　I　see　in　it；　and　the　more　I　see　in　it；　the　more　I　fear。

I　don't　know　what　I　DON'T　seewhat　I　DON'T　fear！〃



Mrs。　Grose　tried　to　keep　up　with　me。　　〃You　mean　you're　afraid

of　seeing　her　again？〃



〃Oh；　no；　that's　nothingnow！〃　　Then　I　explained。

〃It's　of　NOT　seeing　her。〃



But　my　companion　only　looked　wan。　　〃I　don't　understand　you。〃



〃Why；　it's　that　the　child　may　keep　it　upand　that　the　child　assuredly

WILLwithout　my　knowing　it。〃



At　the　image　of　this　possibility　Mrs。　Grose　for　a　moment　collapsed；

yet　presently　to　pull　herself　together　again；　as　if　from　the　positive

force　of　the　sense　of　what；　should　we　yield　an　inch；　there　would

really　be　to　give　way　to。　　〃Dear；　dearwe　must　keep　our　heads！

And　after　all；　if　she　doesn't　mind　it！〃　She　even　tried　a　grim　joke。

〃Perhaps　she　likes　it！〃



〃Likes　SUCH　thingsa　scrap　of　an　infant！〃



〃Isn't　it　just　a　proof　of　her　blessed　innocence？〃　my　friend　bravely　inquired。



She　brought　me；　for　the　instant；　almost　round。

〃Oh；　we　must　clutch　at　THATwe　must　cling　to　it！

If　it　isn't　a　proof　of　what　you　say；　it's　a　proof　ofGod　knows　what！

For　the　woman's　a　horror　of　horrors。〃



Mrs。　Grose；　at　this；　fixed　her　eyes　a　minute　on　the　ground；

then　at　last　raising　them；　〃Tell　me　how　you　know；〃　she　said。



〃Then　you　admit　it's　what　she　was？〃　　I　cried。



〃Tell　me　how　you　know；〃　my　friend　simply　repeated。



〃Know？　　By　seeing　her！　　By　the　way　she　looked。〃



〃At　you；　do　you　meanso　wickedly？〃



〃Dear　me；　noI　could　have　borne　that。　　She　gave　me　never　a　glance。

She　only　fixed　the　child。〃



Mrs。　Grose　tried　to　see　it。　　〃Fixed　her？〃



〃Ah；　with　such　awful　eyes！〃



She　stared　at　mine　as　if　they　might　really　have　resembled　them。

〃Do　you　mean　of　dislike？〃



〃God　help　us；　no。　　Of　something　much　worse。〃



〃Worse　than　dislike？this　left　her　indeed　at　a　loss。



〃With　a　determinationindescribable。　　With　a　kind　of　fury　of　intention。〃



I　made　her　turn　pale。　　〃Intention？〃



〃To　get　hold　of　her。〃　　Mrs。　Groseher　eyes　just　lingering

on　minegave　a　shudder　and　walked　to　the　window；

and　while　she　stood　there　looking　out　I　completed　my　statement。

〃THAT'S　what　Flora　knows。〃



After　a　little　she　turned　round。　　〃The　person　was　in　black；　you　say？〃



〃In　mourningrather　poor；　almost　shabby。　　Butyeswith

extraordinary　beauty。〃　　I　now　recognized　to　what　I　had　at　last；

stroke　by　stroke；　brought　the　victim　of　my　confidence；　for　she　quite

visibly　weighed　this。　　〃Oh；　handsomevery；　very；〃　I　insisted；

〃wonderfully　handsome。　　But　infamous。〃



She　slowly　came　back　to　me。　　〃Miss　JesselWAS　infamous。〃

She　once　more　took　my　hand　in　both　her　own；　holding　it

as　tight　as　if　to　fortify　me　against　the　increase　of　alarm　I

might　draw　from　this　disclosure。　　〃They　were　both　infamous；〃

she　finally　said。



So；　for　a　little；　we　faced　it　once　more　together；　and　I　found　absolutely

a　degree　of　help　in　seeing　it　now　so　straight。　　〃I　appreciate；〃

I　said；　〃the　great　decency　of　your　not　having　hitherto　spoken；

but　the　time　has　certainly　come　to　give　me　the　whole　thing。〃

She　appeared　to　assent　to　this；　but　still　only　in　silence；

seeing　which　I　went　on：　　〃I　must　have　it　now。　　Of　what　did　she　die？

Come；　there　was　something　between　them。〃



〃There　was　everything。〃



〃In　spite　of　the　difference？〃



〃Oh；　of　their　rank；　their　condition〃she　brought　it　woefully　out。

〃SHE　was　a　lady。〃



I　turned　it　over；　I　again　saw。　　〃Yesshe　was　a　lady。〃



〃And　he　so　dreadfully　below；〃　said　Mrs。　Grose。



I　felt　that　I　doubtless　needn't　press　too　hard；　in　such　company；

on　the　place　of　a　servant　in　the　scale；　but　there　was　nothing　to　prevent

an　acceptance　of　my　companion's　own　measure　of　my　predecessor's　abasement。

There　was　a　way　to　deal　with　that；　and　I　dealt；　the　more　readily

for　my　full　visionon　the　evidenceof　our　employer's　late　clever；

good…looking　〃own〃　man；　impudent；　assured；　spoiled；　depraved。

〃The　fellow　was　a　hound。〃



Mrs。　Grose　considered　as　if　it　were　perhaps　a　little　a　case

for　a　sense　of　shades。　　〃I've　never　seen　one　like　him。

He　did　what　he　wished。〃



〃With　HER？〃



〃With　them　all。〃



It　was　as　if　now　in　my　friend's　own　eyes　Miss　Jessel　had　again　appeared。

I　seemed　at　any　rate；　for　an　instant；　to　see　their　evocation　of　her　as

distinctly　as　I　had　seen　her　by　the　pond；　and　I　brought　out　with　decision：

〃It　must　have　been　also　what　SHE　wished！〃



Mrs。　Grose's　face　signified　that　it　had　been　indeed；　but　she　said

at　the　same　time：　　〃Poor　womanshe　paid　for　it！〃



〃Then　you　do　know　what　she　died　of？〃　　I　asked。



〃NoI　know　nothing。　　I　wanted　not　to　know；　I　was　glad　enough　I　didn't；

and　I　thanked　heaven　she　was　well　out　of　this！〃



〃Yet　you　had；　then；　your　idea〃



〃Of　her　real　reason　for　leaving？　　Oh；　yesas　to　that。

She　couldn't　have　stayed。　　Fancy　it　herefor　a　governess！

And　afterward　I　imaginedand　I　still　imagine。　　And　what　I

imagine　is　dreadful。〃



〃Not　so　dreadful　as　what　_I_　do；〃　I　replied；　on　which　I　must

have　shown　heras　I　was　indeed　but　too　consciousa　front　of

miserable　defeat。　　It　brought　out　again　all　her　compassion　for　me；

and　at　the　renewed　touch　of　her　kindness　my　power　to　resist　broke　down。

I　burst；　as　I　had；　the　other　time；　made　her　burst；　into　tears；

she　took　me　to　her　motherly　breast；　and　my　lamentation　overflowed。

〃I　don't　do　it！〃　　I　sobbed　in　despair；　〃I　don't　save　or　shield　them！

It's　far　worse　than　I　dreamedthey're　lost！〃







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　VIII





What　I　had　said　to　Mrs。　Grose　was　true　enough：　　there　were　in　the　matter　I

had　put　before　her　depths　and　possibilities　that　I　lacked　resolution　to　sound；

so　that　when　we　met　once　more　in　the　wonder　of　it　we　were　of　a　common　mind

about　the　duty　of　resistance　to　extravagant　fancies。　　We　were　to　keep　our

heads　if　we　should　keep　nothing　elsedifficult　indeed　as　that　might　be　in

the　face　of　what；　in　our　prodigious　experience；　was　least　to　be　questioned。

Late　that　night；　while　the　house　slept；　we　had　an