心理学与生活-第89章

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Two　students　have　identical　new　cars。　One　student’s　car　was　a　gift　from　her　parents　while　the　
other　student　had　saved　for　several　years　to　buy　her　car；　doing　without　things　she　would　like　to　
have　in　order　to　accumulate　the　money　for　the　car。　A　well…known　automotive　magazine　assigns　
the　car　its　“lemon　of　the　year　award；”　claiming　that　the　car　is　unsafe　and　undependable；　and　that　
it　is　poorly　engineered　and　designed。　Which　student　is　likely　to　feel　more　unfortable　about　
the　magazine’s　negative　evaluation　of　the　car？　Obviously；　the　student　who　had　to　save　money　to　
buy　it。　What　are　her　dissonant　cognitions？　“I　spent　my　savings　for　this　car。　The　car　is　a　lemon。”　
What　can　she　do　to　reduce　the　dissonance？　She　can　discredit　the　magazine　and　the　database　that　
was　used　for　the　evaluation。　She　can　also　remind　herself　of　the　things　she　likes　about　the　car。　

For　most　of　us；　there　are　things　we　would　like　to　have　that　we　cannot。　When　the　desire　for　
something”　is　very　important　to　us；　we　may　have　dissonant　cognitions　that　make　us　tense　and　
unhappy。　For　example；　suppose　you　are　in　love　with　a　person　who　does　not　love　you。　What　are　
the　dissonant　cognitions？　I　would　like　to　have　a　serious　relationship　with　Lucy。　Lucy　doesn’t　
love　me。”　What　do　people　do　to　reduce　the　dissonance　in　this　type　of　situation？　One　method　is　
the　“sour　grapes”　approach。　“Lucy　isn’t　so　great　after　all。　She　is　bowlegged　and　chews　with　her　
mouth　open。”　The　expensive　sweater　is　not　practical　and　the　sports　car　that　is　so　appealing　is　the　
type　of　car　driven　by　people　who　are　too　status…conscious。　The　group　that　did　not　ask　you　to　join　
is　posed　of　snobs　that　you　would　not　want　to　associate　with　anyway。　

Jenny　and　Jack　are　both　in　danger　of　failing　a　course。　The　instructor　gives　a　take…home　exam　that　
students　must　sign；　declaring　that　they　did　not　receive　help　from　another　person。　Both　Jenny　and　
Jack　have　friends　who　took　the　course　and　made　good　grades；　and　who　could　help　them；　and　

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both　feel　that　cheating　is　wrong。　Jenny　gives　in　to　temptation　and　gets　help　from　her　friend；　gets　a　
good　grade　on　the　final；　passes　the　course；　but　now　she　suffers　from　cognitive　dissonance。　What　
are　Jenny’s　dissonant　cognitions？　“I　think　it　is　wrong　to　cheat。　I　cheated。”　How　will　she　reduce　
the　dissonance？　She　will　probably　not　feel　as　strongly　about　cheating。　She　may　also　belittle　the　
amount　of　help　she　got　from　the　friend；　telling　herself　that　she　did　most　of　the　work；　and　that　she　
would　have　passed　the　course　without　the　help　of　the　friend。　

Jack　did　not　succumb　to　the　temptation　of　getting　his　friend　to　help　him。　He　made　a　poor　grade　
on　the　final　and　failed　the　course。　He　may　have　some　dissonance；　too。　What　are　Jack’s　dissonant　
cognitions？　“If　I　had　cheated　I　would　have　passed　the　course。　I　didn’t　cheat。”　What　will　he　do　to　
reduce　his　dissonance？　Jack　is　likely　to　bee　more　strongly　opposed　to　cheating　than　before。　
He　may　feel　badly　about　failing；　but　will　feel　good　about　his　integrity　and　strength　of　his　
convictions。　

These　next　applications　are　similar　to　dissonance　due　to　the　investment　of　time；　money；　or　effort；　
but　in　these　cases；　the　person　gets　little　or　nothing　in　exchange　for　the　investment。　If　we　give　
money　to　a　charity；　we　convince　ourselves　that　it　is　a　worthy　cause。　If　we　work　for　a　political　
candidate；　we　convince　ourselves　that　the　candidate　is　a　good　and　petent　person。　If　we　paint　
our　room；　we　convince　ourselves　that　we　have　made　a　big　improvement。　If　we　gave　money　to　a　
charity　we　didn’t　trust；　worked　for　a　candidate　who　is　a　scoundrel；　or　made　the　room　dingy　by　
painting　it；　our　time；　money；　or　effort　would　have　been　wasted；　and　our　self…esteem　would　suffer　
because　we　did　something　stupid；　so　we　seek　to　justify　our　behavior　by　convincing　ourselves　that　
our　time；　money；　or　effort　served　a　good　cause。　

In　1978；　nine　hundred　members　of　the　People’s　Temple　in　Guyana　fed　a　poisonous　drink　to　their　
children；　drank　it　themselves；　and　lay　down　on　the　ground　to　die。　People　were　attracted　to　the　
Temple’s　charismatic　leader；　Jun　Jones；　and　were　initially　drawn　to　his　meetings　in　San　Francisco　
by　Jones’　emotional　message　of　love　and　hope。　Small　demands　were　made　on　new　members；　like　
giving　one　percent　of　their　ines　and　giving　one　night　a　week　to　a　cause。　At　this　point；　
dissonance　due　to　inadequate　justification　could　occur。　The　dissonant　cognitions　were；　“I’m　
giving　of　my　time　and　money。　Why　am　I　doing　this？”　Was　giving　time　and　money　justified　based　
on　belief　in　the　cause？　As　the　mitment　to　the　cause　increased；　Jones　began　to　ask　for　more　
money　and　more　time；　until　the　members　had　given　all　they　owned　to　the　Temple　and　were　
neglecting　family　and　other　responsibilities　to　serve　the　Temple。　

Once　individuals　were　thoroughly　mitted　to　Jones　and　the　People’s　Temple；　another　aspect　
of　cognitive　dissonance　was　likely　to　bee　evident；　that　due　to　inconsistency　between　
mitment　and　information。　Before　the　People’s　Temple　moved　from　San　Francisco　to　an　
isolated　area　in　Guyana；　criticism　of　Jones　and　his　group　began　to　appear　in　the　media。　Suppose　
you　were　a　mitted　member　of　his　group；　and　you　heard　criticism　of　the　group　or　its　leader。　
You　may　have　had　the　dissonant　cognitions：　“I　have　given　all　I　have　to　the　Temple。　The　media　
claim　that　our　leader　is　an　insincere；　evil　person。”　The　first　cognition　is　irrevocable；　and　leaving　
the　group　would　be　economically　and　psychologically　difficult。　The　easiest　way　to　reduce　the　
dissonance　would　be　to　deny　the　adverse　information　and　to　denigrate　the　source。　Little　by　little　
the　people　of　the　People’s　Temple　were　firmly　entrapped。　

The　account　of　the　recruitment；　mitment；　and　death　of　the　followers　of　the　People’s　Temple　
provides　a　powerful　example　of　some　of　the　concepts　of　social　psychology；　such　as　persuasion；　
conformity；　and　obedience；　as　well　as　cognitive　dissonance。　The　account　could　also　be　analyzed　
in　terms　of　the　failure　in　critical　thinking　made　by　the　people　whose　faulty　reasoning　paved　the　
way　for　their　death　in　the　jungles　of　Guyana。　

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CHAPTER　17：　SOCIAL　PROCESSES　AND　RELATIONSHIPS　

Establishing　Trust　

One　of　the　essential　elements　in　a　long…term　relationship　is　the　development　of　a　sense　of　trust　
between　partners。　This　confident　belief　in　the　integrity　and　reliability　of　the　other　person　is　often　
achieved　through　a　process　of　reciprocal　self…disclosure　of　personal　information。　At　the　beginning　
of　any　relationship；　there　is　little　self…revelation　and；　thus；　no　basis　for　trust。　The　term　social　
penetration　refers　to　“overt　interpersonal　behaviors　that　occur　in　social　interaction；　as　well　as　
internal　subjective　processes　that　precede；　acpany；　and　follow　overt　exchange”　（Shaw　&　
Costanzo；　1982；　p。　153）。　Social　penetration　theory　consists　of　three　basic　divisions　of　analysis。　

·　Altman　and　Taylor　（1973）　outlined　their　assumptions　about　the　structure　of　
personality；　deeming　it　necessary　to　describe　their　assumptions　because　the　process　
of　social　penetration　involves　an　overlap　in　exploration　of　the　personalities　involved　
in　social　relationships。　This　overlap　is　the　beginning　of　trust。　

·　The　second　category　of　the　theory　details　how　costs　and　rewards　influence　the　
process　of　social　penetration；　and　specifies　the　forces　that　underlie　the　growth　of　
interpersonal　relationships。　

。　The　last　category　describes　the　particular　aspects　of　the　social　penetration　process。　
This　may　be　the　most　significant　part　of　the　theory；　as　it　deals　with　such　factors　as　
movement　into　the　intimate　regions　of　a　relationship；　involving　the　blending　of　
interactions　in　both　established　and　new　areas　of　exploration。　

The　theory　of　social　penetration　proposes　that　trust　begins　when　one　person　initiates　self…
disclosure。　If　the　other　person　responds　in　kind；　it　indicates　that　trust　has　been　accepted；　and　the　
basis　for　a　closer　relationship　has　been　established。　The　partners　continue　to　trade　self…
disclosures；　gradually　moving　through　deeper　levels　of　intimacy；　so　long　as　each　level　is　
mutually　satisfying。　The　final　level　of　intimacy　that　is　achieved　will　depend　on　the　needs　and　
interpersonal　skills　of　the　two　people　involved。　In　some　cases；　the　relationship　will　stop　at　a　more　
superficial　level。　In　others；　it　will　continue　to　grow　and　deepen。　

According　to　Jourard　（1964）；　there　is　an　optimal　level　of　self…disclosure　for　any　healthy；　well…
adjusted　individual。　A　person　who　never　discloses　will　not　be　able　to　have　close；　meaningful　
relationships　with　other　individuals。　Conversely；　a　person　who　goes　too　far　by　disclosing　
everything　to　anyone　who　will　listen　is　viewed　as　maladjusted　and　excessively　self…centered。　
Ideally　（according　to　Jourard）；　one　should　disclose　a　moderate　amount　of　personal　information　to　
most　acquaintances　and　reveal　a　lot　about　oneself　to　a　very　few　close　friends。　

Trust；　as　displayed　through　disclosure；　is　a　major　dimension　in　human　fears　of　rejection；　ridicule；　
and　betrayal　that　haunt　relationships。　Trust　washes　away　the　fears　of　rejection；　ridicule；　and　
betrayal　that　haunt　the　existence　of　many。　Trust　paves　the　road　to　friendship　and　intimacy；　it　is　at　
the　core　of　love　for　another　person　and　the　acceptance　of　oneself　

A　climate　of　trust　can　be　established　by　doing　the　following：　

。　Make　it　acceptable　for　other　people　to　talk　openly　about　themselves。　
。　Reciprocate　with　your　own　openness。　
。　Express　support　and　unconditional　acceptance　of　your　loved　ones；　although　you　may　
disapprove　of　some　of　their　specific　behaviors　（make　them　aware　of　this　difference）。　
。　Be　consistent　but　not　rigid　in　your　standards；　values；　and　behavior。　
。　Be　available　to　listen；　express　warmth；　and　empathize；　even　when　you　do　not　have　
an　answer　or　a　solution。　
。　Do　not　make　promises　you　do　not　intend　to　keep　or　cannot　deliver。　
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You　Only　Get　One　Chance　to　Make　a　First　Impression　

First　impressions　can　have　a　lasting　effect　on　how　we　see　others　and　on　how　they　see　us。　Some　
researchers　claim　that　first　impressions　are　typically　formed　within　the　first　8　to　10　seconds　of　
first　seeing　someone；　often　before　they　ever　actually　speak　to　us　or　shake　our　hand。　In　those　first　
few　seconds；　we　appear　to　“size　up”　the　person　according　to　their　physical　appearance；　their　eye　
contact；　their　facial　expressions；　their　manner　of　dress；　their　body　language；　and　their　overall　
demeanor。　Then　we　pare　our　perceptions　of　the　person　to　our　previous　experiences　with　
others　of　similar　demeanor；　etc。；　and　develop　a　“thumbnail　sketch”　of　what　type　of　person　we　
believe　this　person　is。　Much　of　this　is　done　unconsciously　and　automatically。　But　once　formed；　it　
can　be　difficult　to　change。　Because　of　our　tendency　to　selectively　perceive　only　the　aspects　of　the　
person’s　behavior　that　fit　our　first　impression；　the　person　will　have　to　behave　in　a　manner　that　is　
pervasively　and　enduringly　inconsistent　with　our　impression　before　we　will　change　it。　
Additionally；　since　the　way　we　behave　toward　the　person　can　affect　the　way　he　or　she　behaves　
toward　us；　our　first　impression