白噪音(White Noise) (英文版)作者:唐·德里罗(Don DeLillo)-第19章

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　　〃You　want　me　to　say　it　won't　e　this　way　in　a　million　years。　Then　you'll　attack　with　your　little　fistful　of　data。　e　on；　tell　me　what　they　said　on　the　radio　while　I　was　out　there。〃
　　〃It　doesn't　cause　nausea；　vomiting；　shortness　of　breath；　like　they　said　before。〃
　　〃What　does　it　cause？〃
　　〃Heart　palpitations　and　a　sense　of　déjà　vu。〃
　　〃Déjà　vu？〃
　　〃It　affects　the　false　part　of　the　human　memory　or　whatever。　That's　not　all。　They're　not　calling　it　the　black　billowing　cloud　anymore。〃
　　〃What　are　they　calling　it？〃
　　He　looked　at　me　carefully。
　　〃The　airborne　toxic　event。〃
　　He　spoke　these　words　in　a　clipped　and　foreboding　manner；　syllable　by　syllable；　as　if　he　sensed　the　threat　in　state…created　terminology。　He　continued　to　watch　me　carefully；　searching　my　face　for　some　reassurance　against　the　possibility　of　real　danger—　a　reassurance　he　would　immediately　reject　as　phony。　A　favorite　ploy　of　his。
　　〃These　things　are　not　important。　The　important　thing　is　location。　It's　there；　we're　here。〃
　　〃A　large　air　mass　is　moving　down　from　Canada；〃　he　said　evenly。
　　〃I　already　knew　that。〃
　　'That　doesn't　mean　it's　not　important。〃
　　〃Maybe　it　is；　maybe　it　isn't。　Depends。〃
　　〃The　weather's　about　to　change；〃　he　practically　cried　out　to　me　in　a　voice　charged　with　the　plaintive　throb　of　his　special　time　of　life。
　　〃I'm　not　just　a　college　professor。　I'm　the　head　of　a　department。　I　don't　see　myself　fleeing　an　airborne　toxic　event。　That's　for　people　who　live　in　mobile　homes　out　in　the　scrubby　parts　of　the　county；　where　the　fish　hatcheries　are。〃
　　We　watched　Wilder　climb　backwards　down　the　attic　steps；　which　were　higher　than　the　steps　elsewhere　in　the　house。　At　dinner　Denise　kept　getting　up　and　walking　in　small　stiff　rapid　strides　to　the　toilet　off　the　hall；　a　hand　clapped　to　her　mouth。　We　paused　in　odd　moments　of　chewing　or　salt…sprinkling　to　hear　her　retch　inpletely。　Heinrich　told　her　she　was　showing　outdated　symptoms。　She　gave　him　a　slit…eyed　look。　It　was　a　period　of　looks　and　glances；　teeming　interactions；　part　of　the　sensory　array　I　ordinarily　cherish。　Heat；　noise；　lights；　looks；　words；　gestures；　personalities；　appliances。　A　colloquial　density　that　makes　family　life　the　one　medium　of　sense　knowledge　in　which　an　astonishment　of　heart　is　routinely　contained。
　　I　watched　the　girls　municate　in　hooded　looks。
　　〃Aren't　we　eating　a　little　early　tonight？〃　Denise　said。
　　〃What　do　you　call　early？〃　her　mother　said。
　　Denise　looked　at　Steffie。
　　〃Is　it　because　we　want　to　get　it　out　of　the　way？〃　she　said。
　　〃Why　do　we　want　to　get　it　out　of　the　way？〃
　　〃In　case　something　happens；〃　Steffie　said。
　　〃What　could　happen？〃　Babette　said。
　　The　girls　looked　at　each　other　again；　a　solemn　and　lingering　exchange　that　indicated　some　dark　suspicion　was　being　confirmed。　Air…raid　sirens　sounded　again；　this　time　so　close　to　us　that　we　were　negatively　affected；　shaken　to　the　point　of　avoiding　each　other's　eyes　as　a　way　of　denying　that　something　unusual　was　going　on。　The　sound　came　from　our　own　red　brick　firehouse；　sirens　that　hadn't　been　tested　in　a　decade　or　more。　They　made　a　noise　like　some　territorial　squawk　from　out　of　the　Mesozoic。　A　parrot　carnivore　with　a　DC…9　wingspan。　What　a　raucousness　of　brute　aggression　filled　the　house；　making　it　seem　as　though　the　walls　would　fly　apart。　So　close　to　us；　so　surely　upon　us。　Amazing　to　think　this　sonic　monster　lay　hidden　nearby　for　years。
　　We　went　on　eating；　quietly　and　neatly；　reducing　the　size　of　our　bites；　asking　politely　for　things　to　be　passed。　We　became　meticulous　and　terse；　diminished　the　scope　of　our　movements；　buttered　our　bread　in　the　manner　of　technicians　restoring　a　fresco。　Still　the　horrific　squawk　went　on。　We　continued　to　avoid　eye　contact；　were　careful　not　to　clink　utensils。　I　believe　there　passed　among　us　the　sheepish　hope　that　only　in　this　way　could　we　avoid　being　noticed。　It　was　as　though　the　sirens　heralded　the　presence　of　some　controlling　mechanism—a　thing　we　would　do　well　not　to　provoke　with　our　contentiousness　and　spilled　food。
　　It　wasn't　until　a　second　noise　became　audible　in　the　pulse　of　the　powerful　sirens　that　we　thought　to　effect　a　pause　in　our　little　episode　of　decorous　hysteria。　Heinrich　ran　to　the　front　door　and　opened　it。　The　night's　bined　sounds　came　washing　in　with　a　freshness　and　renewed　immediacy。　For　the　first　time　in　minutes　we　looked　at　each　other；　knowing　the　new　sound　was　an　amplified　voice　but　not　sure　what　it　was　saying。　Heinrich　returned；　walking　in　an　over…deliberate　and　stylized　manner；　with　elements　of　stealth。　This　seemed　to　mean　he　was　frozen　with　significance。
　　〃They　want　us　to　evacuate；〃　he　said；　not　meeting　our　eyes。
　　Babette　said；　〃Did　you　get　the　impression　they　were　only　making　a　suggestion　or　was　it　a　little　more　mandatory；　do　you　think？〃
　　〃It　was　a　fire　captain's　car　with　a　loudspeaker　and　it　was　going　pretty　fast。〃
　　I　said；　〃In　other　words　you　didn't　have　an　opportunity　to　notice　the　subtle　edges　of　intonation。〃
　　〃The　voice　was　screaming　out。〃
　　〃Due　to　the　sirens；〃　Babette　said　helpfully。
　　〃It　said　something　like；　'Evacuate　all　places　of　residence。　Cloud　of　deadly　chemicals；　cloud　of　deadly　chemicals。'〃
　　We　sat　there　over　sponge　cake　and　canned　peaches。
　　〃I'm　sure　there's　plenty　of　time；〃　Babette　said；　〃or　they　would　have　made　a　point　of　telling　us　to　hurry。　How　fast　do　air　masses　move；　I　wonder。〃
　　Steffie　read　a　coupon　for　Baby　Lux；　crying　softly。　This　brought　Denise　to　life。　She　went　upstairs　to　pack　some　things　for　all　of　us。　Heinrich　raced　two　steps　at　a　time　to　the　attic　for　his　binoculars；　highway　map　and　radio。　Babette　went　to　the　pantry　and　began　gathering　tins　and　jars　with　familiar　life…enhancing　labels。
　　Steffie　helped　me　clear　the　table。
　　Twenty　minutes　later　we　were　in　the　car。　The　voice　on　the　radio　said　that　people　in　the　west　end　of　town　were　to　head　for　the　abandoned　Boy　Scout　camp；　where　Red　Cross　volunteers　would　dispense　juice　and　coffee。　People　from　the　east　end　were　to　take　the　parkway　to　the　fourth　service　area；　where　they　would　proceed　to　a　restaurant　called　the　Kung　Fu　Palace；　a　multiwing　building　with　pagodas；　lily　ponds　and　live　deer。
　　We　were　among　the　lateers　in　the　former　group　and　joined　the　traffic　flow　into　the　main　route　out　of　town；　a　sordid　gantlet　of　used　cars；　fast　food；　discount　drugs　and　quad　cinemas。　As　we　waited　our　turn　to　edge　onto　the　four…lane　road　we　heard　the　amplified　voice　above　and　behind　us　calling　out　to　darkened　homes　in　a　street　of　sycamores　and　tall　hedges。
　　〃Abandon　all　domiciles；　Now；　now。　Toxic　event；　chemical　cloud。〃
　　The　voice　grew　louder；　faded；　grew　loud　again　as　the　vehicle　moved　in　and　out　of　local　streets。　Toxic　event；　chemical　cloud。　When　the　words　became　faint；　the　cadence　itself　was　still　discernible；　a　recurring　sequence　in　the　distance。　It　seems　that　danger　assigns　to　public　voices　the　responsibility　of　a　rhythm；　as　if　in　metrical　units　there　is　a　coherence　we　can　use　to　balance　whatever　senseless　and　furious　event　is　about　to　e　rushing　around　our　heads。
　　We　made　it　onto　the　road　as　snow　began　to　fall。　We　had　little　to　say　to　each　other；　our　minds　not　yet　adjusted　to　the　actuality　of　things；　the　absurd　fact　of　evacuation。　Mainly　we　looked　at　people　in　other　cars；　trying　to　work　out　from　their　faces　how　frightened　we　should　be。　Traffic　moved　at　a　crawl　but　we　thought　the　pace　would　pick　up　some　miles　down　the　road　where　there　is　a　break　in　the　barrier　divide　that　would　enable　our　westbound　flow　to　utilize　all　four　lanes。　The　two　opposite　lanes　were　empty；　which　meant　police　had　already　halted　traffic　ing　this　way。　An　encouraging　sign。　What　people　in　an　exodus　fear　most　immediately　is　that　those　in　positions　of　authority　will　long　since　have　fled；　leaving　us　in　charge　of　our　own　chaos。
　　The　snow　came　more　thickly；　the　traffic　moved　in　fits　and　starts。　There　was　a　life…style　sale　at　a　home　furnishing　mart。　Well…lighted　men　and　women　stood　by　the　huge　window　looking　out　at　us　and　wondering。　It　made　us　feel　like　fools；　like　tourists　doing　all　the　wrong　things。　Why　were　they　content　to　shop　for　furniture　while　we　sat　panicky　in　slowpoke　traffic　in　a　snowstorm？　They　knew　something　we　didn't。　In　a　crisis　the　true　facts　are　whatever　other　people　say　they　are。　No　one's　knowledge　is　less　secure　than　your　own。
　　Air…raid　sirens　were　still　sounding　in　two　or　more　towns。　What　could　those　shoppers　know　that　would　make　them　remain　behind　while　a　more　or　less　clear　path　to　safety　lay　before　us　all？　I　started　pushing　buttons　on　the　radio。　On　a　Glassboro　station　we　learned　there　was　new　and　important　information。　People　already　indoors　were　being　asked　to　stay　indoors。　We　were　left　to　guess　the　meaning　of　this。　Were　the　roads　impossibly　jammed？　Was　it　snowing　Nyodene　D。？
　　I　kept　punching　buttons；　hoping　to　find　someone　with　background　information。　A　woman　identified　as　a　consumer　affairs　editor　began　a　discussion　of　the　medical　problems　that　could　result　from　personal　contact　with　the　airborne　toxic　event。　Babette　and　I　exchanged　a　wary　glance。　She　immediately　began　talking　to　the　girls　while　I　turned　the　volume　down　to　keep　them　from　learning　what　they　might　imagine　was　in　store　for　them。
　　〃Convulsions；　a；　miscarriage；〃　said　the　well…informed　and　sprightly　voice。
　　We　passed　a　three…story　motel。　Every　room　was　lighted；　every　window　filled　with　people　staring　out　at　us。　We　were　a　parade　of　fools；　open　not　only　to　the　effects　of　chemical　fallout　but　to　the　scornful　judgment　of　other　people。　Why　weren't　they　out　here；　sitting　in　heavy　coats　behind　windshield　wipers　in　the　silent　snow？　It　seemed　imperative　that　we　get　to　the　Boy　Scout　camp；　scramble　into　the　main　building；　seal　the　doors；　huddle　on　camp　beds　with　our　juice　and　coffee；　wait　for　the　all…clear。
　　Cars　began　to　mount　the　grassy　incline　at　the　edge　of　the　road；　creating　a　third　lane　of　severely　tilted　traffic。　Situated　in　what　had　formerly　been　the　righthand　lane；　we　didn't　have　any　choice　but　to　watch　these　cars　pass　us　at　a　slightly　higher　elevation　and　with　a　rakish　thrust；　deviated　from　the　horizontal。
　　Slowly　we　approached　an　overpass；　seeing　people　on　foot　up　there。　They　carried　boxes　and　suitcases；　objects　in　blankets；　a　long　line　of　people　leaning　into　the　blowing　snow。　People　cradling　pets　and　small　children；　an　old　man　wearing　a　blanket　over　his　pajamas；　two　women　shouldering　a　rolled…up　rug。　There　were　people　on　bicycles；　children　being　pulled　on　sleds　and　in　wagons。　People　with　supermarket　carts；　people　clad　in　every　kind　of　bulky　outfit；　peering　out　from　deep　hoods。　There　was　a　family　wrapped　pletely　in　plastic；　a　single　large　sheet　of　transparent　polyethylene。　They　walked　beneath　their　shield　in　lock　step；　the　man　and　woman　each　at　one　end；　three　kids　between；　all　of　them　secondarily　wrapped　in　shimmering　rainwear。　The　whole　affair　had　about　it　a　well…rehearsed　and　self…satisfied　look；　as　though　they'd　been　waiting　for　months　to　strut　their　stuff。　People　kept　appearing　from　behind　a　high　rampart　and　trudging　across　the　overpass；　shoulders　dusted　with　snow；　hundreds　of　people　moving　with　a　kind　of　fated　determination。　A　new　round　of　sirens　started　up。　The　trudging　people　did　not　quicken　their　pace；