白噪音(White Noise) (英文版)作者:唐·德里罗(Don DeLillo)-第50章

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　　〃Followed　by　a　greater　death。　More　effective；　productwise。　This　is　what　the　scientists　don't　understand；　scrubbing　their　smocks　with　Woolite。　Not　that　I　have　anything　personal　against　death　from　our　vantage　point　high　atop　Metropolitan　County　Stadium。〃
　　〃Are　you　saying　death　adapts？　It　eludes　our　attempts　to　reason　with　it？〃
　　This　was　similar　to　something　Murray　had　once　said。　Murray　had　also　said；　〃Imagine　the　visceral　jolt；　watching　your　opponent　bleed　in　the　dust。　He　dies；　you　live。〃
　　Close　to　a　death；　close　to　the　slam　of　metal　projectiles　on　flesh；　the　visceral　jolt。　I　watched　Mink　ingest　more　pills；　throwing　them　at　his　face；　sucking　them　like　sweets；　his　eyes　on　the　flickering　screen。　Waves；　rays；　coherent　beams。　I　saw　things　new。
　　〃Just　between　you　and　I；〃　he　said；　〃I　eat　this　stuff　like　candy。〃
　　〃I　was　just　thinking　that。〃
　　〃How　much　do　you　want　to　buy？〃
　　〃How　much　do　I　need？〃
　　〃I　see　you　as　a　heavyset　white　man　about　fifty。　Does　this　describe　your　anguish？　I　see　you　as　a　person　in　a　gray　jacket　and　light　brown　pants。　Tell　me　how　correct　I　am。　To　convert　Fahrenheit　to　Celsius；　this　is　what　you　do。〃
　　There　was　a　silence。　Things　began　to　glow。　The　dumpy　chair；　the　shabby　dresser；　the　rumpled　bed。　The　bed　was　equipped　with　casters。　I　thought；　This　is　the　grayish　figure　of　my　torment；　the　man　who　took　my　wife。　Did　she　wheel　him　around　the　room　as　he　sat　on　the　bed　popping　pills？　Did　each　lie　prone　along　one　side　of　the　bed；　reaching　an　arm　down　to　paddle？　Did　they　make　the　bed　spin　with　their　lovemaking；　a　froth　of　pillows　and　sheets　above　the　small　wheels　on　swivels？　Look　at　him　now；　glowing　in　the　dark；　showing　a　senile　grin。
　　〃I　barely　forget　the　times　I　had　in　this　room；〃　he　said；　〃before　I　became　misplaced。　There　was　a　woman　in　a　ski　mask；　which　her　name　escapes　me　at　the　moment。　American　sex；　let　me　tell　you；　this　is　how　I　learned　my　English。〃
　　The　air　was　rich　with　extrasensory　material。　Nearer　to　death；　nearer　to　second　sight。　A　smashing　intensity。　I　advanced　two　steps　toward　the　middle　of　the　room。　My　plan　was　elegant。　Advance　gradually；　gain　his　confidence；　take　out　the　Zumwalt；　fire　three　bullets　at　his　midsection　for　maximum　visceral　agony；　clear　the　weapon　of　prints；　write　suicidal　cult　messages　on　the　mirrors　and　walls；　take　his　supply　of　Dylar；　slip　back　to　the　car；　drive　to　the　expressway　entrance；　head　east　toward　Blacksmith；　leave　Stover's　car　in　Treadwell's　garage；　walk　home　in　the　rain　and　the　fog。
　　He　gobbled　more　pills；　flung　others　down　the　front　of　his　Budweiser　shorts。　I　advanced　one　step。　There　were　cracked　Dylar　tablets　all　over　the　fire…retardant　carpet。　Trod　upon；　stomped。　He　tossed　some　tablets　at　the　screen。　The　set　had　a　walnut　veneer　with　silvery　hardware。　The　picture　rolled　badly。
　　〃Now　I　am　picking　up　my　metallic　gold　tube；〃　he　said。　〃Using　my　palette　knife　and　my　odorless　turp；　I　will　thicken　the　paint　on　my　palette。〃
　　I　recalled　Babette's　remarks　about　the　side　effects　of　the　medication。　I　said；　as　a　test；　〃Falling　plane。〃
　　He　looked　at　me；　gripping　the　arms　of　the　chair；　the　first　signs　of　panic　building　in　his　eyes。
　　〃Plunging　aircraft；〃　I　said；　pronouncing　the　words　crisply；　authoritatively。
　　He　kicked　off　his　sandals；　folded　himself　over　into　the　remended　crash　position；　head　well　forward；　hands　clasped　behind　his　knees。　He　performed　the　maneuver　automatically；　with　a　double…jointed　collapsible　dexterity；　throwing　himself　into　it；　like　a　child　or　a　mime。　Interesting。　The　drug　not　only　caused　the　user　to　confuse　words　with　the　things　they　referred　to；　it　made　him　act　in　a　somewhat　stylized　way。　I　watched　him　slumped　there；　trembling。　This　was　my　plan。　Look　peripherally　into　rooms；　enter　unannounced；　reduce　him　to　trembling；　gut…shoot　him　maximally　three　times；　get　off　at　the　river　road；　shut　the　garage　door。
　　I　took　another　step　toward　the　middle　of　the　room。　As　the　TV　picture　jumped；　wobbled；　caught　itself　in　snarls；　Mink　appeared　to　grow　more　vivid。　The　precise　nature　of　events。　Things　in　their　actual　state。　Eventually　he　worked　himself　out　of　the　deep　fold；　rising　nicely；　sharply　outlined　against　the　busy　air。　White　noise　everywhere。
　　〃Containing　iron；　niacin　and　riboflavin。　I　learned　my　English　in　airplanes。　It's　the　international　language　of　aviation。　Why　are　you　here；　white　man？〃　〃To　buy。〃
　　〃You　are　very　white；　you　know　that？〃　〃It's　because　I'm　dying。〃　〃This　stuff　fix　you　up。〃　〃I'll　still　die。〃
　　〃But　it　won't　matter；　which　es　to　the　same　thing。　Some　of　these　playful　dolphins　have　been　equipped　with　radio　transmitters。　Their　far…flung　wanderings　may　tell　us　things。〃
　　I　continued　to　advance　in　consciousness。　Things　glowed；　a　secret　life　rising　out　of　them。　Water　struck　the　roof　in　elongated　orbs；　splashing　drams。　I　knew　for　the　first　time　what　rain　really　was。　I　knew　what　wet　was。　I　understood　the　neurochemistry　of　my　brain；　the　meaning　of　dreams　（the　waste　material　of　premonitions）。　Great　stuff　everywhere；　racing　through　the　room；　racing　slowly。　A　richness；　a　density。　I　believed　everything。　I　was　a　Buddhist；　a　Jain；　a　Duck　River　Baptist。　My　only　sadness　was　Babette；　having　to　kiss　a　scooped…out　face。
　　〃She　wore　the　ski　mask　so　as　not　to　kiss　my　face；　which　she　said　was　un…American。　I　told　her　a　room　is　inside。　Do　not　enter　a　room　not　agreeing　to　this。　This　is　the　point；　as　opposed　to　emerging　coastlines；　continental　plates。　Or　you　can　eat　natural　grains；　vegetables；　eggs；　no　fish；　no　fruit。　Or　fruit；　vegetables；　animal　proteins；　no　grains；　no　milk。　Or　lots　of　soybean　milk　for　B…12　and　lots　of　vegetables　to　regulate　insulin　release　but　no　meat；　no　fish；　no　fruit。　Or　white　meat　but　no　red　meat。　Or　B…12　but　no　eggs。　Or　eggs　but　no　grains。　There　are　endless　workable　binations。〃
　　I　was　ready　to　kill　him　now。　But　I　didn't　want　to　promise　the　plan。　The　plan　was　elaborate。　Drive　past　the　scene　several　times；　approach　the　motel　on　foot；　swivel　my　head　to　look　peripherally　into　rooms；　locate　Mr。　Gray　under　his　real　name；　enter　unannounced；　gain　his　confidence；　advance　gradually；　reduce　him　to　trembling；　wait　for　an　unguarded　moment；　take　out　the　。25…caliber　Zumwalt　automatic；　fire　three　bullets　into　his　viscera　for　maximum　slowness；　depth　and　intensity　of　pain；　wipe　the　weapon　clear　of　prints；　place　the　weapon　in　the　victim's　hand　to　suggest　the　trite　and　predictable　suicide　of　a　motel　recluse；　smear　crude　words　on　the　walls　in　the　victim's　own　blood　as　evidence　of　his　final　cult…related　frenzy；　take　his　supply　of　Dylar；　slip　back　to　the　car；　take　the　expressway　to　Blacksmith；　leave　Stover's　car　in　Treadwell's　garage；　shut　the　garage　door；　walk　home　in　the　rain　and　the　fog。
　　I　advanced　into　the　area　of　flickering　light；　out　of　the　shadows；　seeking　to　loom。　I　put　my　hand　in　my　pocket；　gripped　the　firearm。　Mink　watched　the　screen。　I　said　to　him　gently；　〃Hail　of　bullets。〃　Keeping　my　hand　in　my　pocket。
　　He　hit　the　floor；　began　crawling　toward　the　bathroom；　looking　back　over　his　shoulder；　childlike；　miming；　using　principles　of　heightened　design　but　showing　real　terror；　brilliant　cringing　fear。　I　followed　him　into　the　toilet；　passing　the　full…length　mirror　where　he'd　undoubtedly　posed　with　Babette；　his　shaggy　member　dangling　like　a　ruminant's。
　　〃Fusillade；〃　I　whispered。
　　He　tried　to　wriggle　behind　the　bowl；　both　arms　over　his　head；　his　legs　tight　together。　I　loomed　in　the　doorway；　conscious　of　looming；　seeing　myself　from　Mink's　viewpoint；　magnified；　threatening。　It　was　time　to　tell　him　who　I　was。　This　was　part　of　my　plan。　My　plan　was　this。　Tell　him　who　I　am；　let　him　know　the　reason　for　his　slow　and　agonizing　death。　I　revealed　my　name；　explained　my　relationship　with　the　woman　in　the　ski　mask。
　　He　put　his　hands　over　his　crotch；　tried　to　fit　himself　under　the　toilet　tank；　behind　the　bowl。　The　intensity　of　the　noise　in　the　room　was　the　same　at　all　frequencies。　Sound　all　around。　I　took　out　the　Zumwalt。　Great　and　nameless　emotions　thudded　on　my　chest。　I　knew　who　1　was　in　the　network　of　meanings。　Water　fell　to　earth　in　drops；　causing　surfaces　to　gleam。　I　saw　things　new。
　　Mink　took　one　hand　from　his　crotch；　grabbed　more　tablets　from　his　pocket；　hurled　them　toward　his　open　mouth。　His　face　appeared　at　the　end　of　the　white　room；　a　white　buzz；　the　inner　surface　of　a　sphere。　He　sat　up；　tearing　open　his　shirt　pocket　to　find　more　pills。　His　fear　was　beautiful。　He　said　to　me；　〃Did　you　ever　wonder　why；　out　of　thirty…two　teeth；　these　four　cause　so　much　trouble？　I'll　be　back　with　the　answer　in　a　minute。〃
　　I　fired　the　gun；　the　weapon；　the　pistol；　the　firearm；　the　automatic。　The　sound　snowballed　in　the　white　room；　adding　on　reflected　waves。　I　watched　blood　squirt　from　the　victim's　midsection。　A　delicate　arc。　I　marveled　at　the　rich　color；　sensed　the　color…causing　action　of　nonnucleated　cells。　The　flow　diminished　to　a　trickle；　spread　across　the　tile　floor。　I　saw　beyond　words。　I　knew　what　red　was；　saw　it　in　terms　of　dominant　wavelength；　luminance；　purity。　Mink's　pain　was　beautiful；　intense。
　　I　fired　a　second　shot　just　to　fire　it；　relive　the　experience；　hear　the　sonic　waves　layering　through　the　room；　feel　the　jolt　travel　up　my　arm。　The　bullet　struck　him　just　inside　the　right　hipbone。　A　claret　stain　appeared　on　his　shorts　and　shirt。　I　paused　to　notice　him。　He　sat　wedged　between　the　toilet　bowl　and　wall；　one　sandal　missing；　eyes　totally　white。　I　tried　to　see　myself　from　Mink's　viewpoint。　Looming；　dominant；　gaining　life…power；　storing　up　life…credit。　But　he　was　too　far　gone　to　have　a　viewpoint。
　　It　was　going　well。　I　was　pleased　to　see　how　well　it　was　going。　The　trucks　rumbled　overhead。　The　shower　curtain　smelled　of　mildewed　vinyl。　A　richness；　a　smashing　intensity。　I　approached　the　sitting　figure；　careful　not　to　step　in　blood；　leave　revealing　prints。　I　took　out　my　handkerchief；　wiped　the　weapon　clean；　placed　it　in　Mink's　hand；　cautiously　removing　the　handkerchief；　painstakingly　wrapping　his　bony　fingers；　one　by　one；　around　the　stock；　delicately　working　his　index　finger　through　the　trigger　guard。　He　was　foaming；　a　little；　at　the　mouth。　I　stepped　back　to　survey　the　remains　of　the　shattering　moment；　the　scene　of　squalid　violence　and　lonely　death　at　the　shadowy　fringes　of　society。　This　was　my　plan。　Step　back；　regard　the　squalor；　make　sure　things　were　correctly　placed。
　　Mink's　eyes　dropped　out　of　his　skull。　They　gleamed；　briefly。　He　raised　his　hand　and　pulled　the　trigger；　shooting　me　in　the　wrist。
　　The　world　collapsed　inward；　all　those　vivid　textures　and　connections　buried　in　mounds　of　ordinary　stuff。　I　was　disappointed。　Hurt；　stunned　and　disappointed。　What　had　happened　to　the　higher　plane　of　energy　in　which　I'd　carried　out　my　scheme？　The　pain　was　searing。　Blood　covered　my　forearm；　wrist　and　hand。　I　staggered　back；　moaning；　watching　blood　drip　from　the　tips　of　my　fingers。　I　was。　troubled　and　confused。　Colored　dots　appeared　at　the　edge　of　my　field　of　vision。　Familiar　little　dancing　specks。　The　extra　dimensions；　the　super　perceptions；　were　reduced　to　visual　clutter；　a　whirling　miscellany；　meaningless。
　　〃And　this　could　represent　the　leading　edge　of　some　warmer　air；〃　Mink　said。
　　I　looked　at　him。　Alive。　His　lap　a　puddle　of　blood。　With　the　restoration　of　the　normal　order　of　matter　and　sensation；　I　fel