sense and sensibility(理智与情感)-第30章
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correspondence between them by letter； could subsist only under
a positive engagement； could be authorised by nothing else； for a
few moments； she was almost overcome—her heart sunk within
her； and she could hardly stand； but exertion was indispensably
necessary； and she struggled so resolutely against the oppression
of her feelings； that her success was speedy； and for the time
complete。
“Writing to each other；” said Lucy； returning the letter into her
pocket； “is the only comfort we have in such long separations。 Yes；
I have one other comfort in his picture； but poor Edward has not
even that。 If he had but my picture； he says he should be easy。 I
gave him a lock of my hair set in a ring when he was at Longstaple
last； and that was some comfort to him； he said； but not equal to a
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picture。 Perhaps you might notice the ring when you saw him？”
“I did；” said Elinor； with a composure of voice； under which
was concealed an emotion and distress beyond any thing she had
ever felt before。 She was mortified； shocked； confounded。
Fortunately for her； they had now reached the cottage； and the
conversation could be continued no farther。 After sitting with
them a few minutes； the Miss Steeles returned to the Park； and
Elinor was then at liberty to think and be wretched。
End of Volume I
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VOLUME II
CHAPTER I
owever small Elinor’s general dependence on Lucy’s
veracity might be； it was impossible for her on serious
H
reflection to suspect it in the present case； where no
temptation could be answerable to the folly of inventing a
falsehood of such a description。 What Lucy had asserted to be
true； therefore； Elinor could not； dared not longer doubt；
supported as it was too on every side by such probabilities and
proofs； and contradicted by nothing but her own wishes。 Their
opportunity of acquaintance in the house of Mr。 Pratt was a
foundation for the rest； at once indisputable and alarming； and
Edward’s visit near Plymouth； his melancholy state of mind； his
dissatisfaction at his own prospects； his uncertain behaviour
towards herself； the intimate knowledge of the Miss Steeles as to
Norland and their family connections； which had often surprised
her； the picture； the letter； the ring； formed altogether such a body
of evidence； as overcame every fear of condemning him unfairly；
and established as a fact； which no partiality could set aside； his
ill…treatment of herself。—Her resentment of such behaviour； her
indignation at having been its dupe； for a short time made her feel
only for herself； but other ideas； other considerations； soon arose。
Had Edward been intentionally deceiving her？ Had he feigned a
regard for her which he did not feel？ Was his engagement to Lucy
an engagement of the heart？ No； whatever it might once have
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been； she could not believe it such at present。 His affection was all
her own。 She could not be deceived in that。 Her mother； sisters；
Fanny； all had been conscious of his regard for her at Norland； it
was not an illusion of her own vanity。 He certainly loved her。 What
a softener of the heart was this persuasion！ How much could it not
tempt her to forgive！ He had been blameable； highly blameable； in
remaining at Norland after he first felt her influence over him to
be more than it ought to be。 In that； he could not be defended； but
if he had injured her； how much more had he injured himself； if
her case were pitiable； his was hopeless。 His imprudence had
made her miserable for a while； but it seemed to have deprived
himself of all chance of ever being otherwise。 She might in time
regain tranquillity； but he； what had he to look forward to？ Could
he ever be tolerably happy with Lucy Steele； could he； were his
affection for herself out of the question； with his integrity； his
delicacy； and well…informed mind； be satisfied with a wife like
her—illiterate； artful； and selfish？
The youthful infatuation of nineteen would naturally blind him
to every thing but her beauty and good nature； but the four
succeeding years—years； which if rationally spent； give such
improvement to the understanding； must have opened his eyes to
her defects of education； while the same period of time； spent on
her side in inferior society and more frivolous pursuits； had
perhaps robbed her of that simplicity which might once have
given an interesting character to her beauty。
If in the supposition of his seeking to marry herself； his
difficulties from his mother had seemed great； how much greater
were they now likely to be； when the object of his engagement was
undoubtedly inferior in connections； and probably inferior in
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fortune to herself。 These difficulties； indeed； with a heart so
alienated from Lucy； might not press very hard upon his patience；
but melancholy was the state of the person by whom the
expectation of family opposition and unkindness； could be felt as a
relief！
As these considerations occurred to her in painful succession；
she wept for him； more than for herself。 Supported by the
conviction of having done nothing to merit her present
unhappiness； and consoled by the belief that Edward had done
nothing to forfeit her esteem； she thought she could even now；
under the first smart of the heavy blow； command herself enough
to guard every suspicion of the truth from her mother and sisters。
And so well was she able to answer her own expectations； that
when she joined them at dinner only two hours after she had first
suffered the extinction of all her dearest hopes； no one would have
supposed from the appearance of the sisters； that Elinor was
mourning in secret over obstacles which must divide her for ever
from the object of her love； and that Marianne was internally
dwelling on the perfections of a man； of whose whole heart she felt
thoroughly possessed； and whom she expected to see in every
carriage which drove near their house。
The necessity of concealing from her mother and Marianne；
what had been entrusted in confidence to herself； though it
obliged her to unceasing exertion； was no aggravation of Elinor’s
distress。 On the contrary it was a relief to her； to be spared the
communication of what would give such affliction to them； and to
be saved likewise from hearing that condemnation of Edward；
which would probably flow from the excess of their partial
affection for herself； and which was more than she felt equal to
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support。
From their counsel； or their conversation； she knew she could
receive no assistance； their tenderness and sorrow must add to her
distress； while her self…command would neither receive
encouragement from their example nor from their praise。 She was
stronger alone； and her own good sense so well supported her；
that her firmness was as unshaken； her appearance of
cheerfulness as invariable； as with regrets so poignant and so
fresh； it was possible for them to be。
Much as she had suffered from her first conversation with Lucy
on the subject； she soon felt an earnest wish of renewing it； and
this for more reasons than one。 She wanted to hear many
particulars of their engagement repeated again； she wanted more
clearly to understand what Lucy really felt for Edward； whether
there were any sincerity in her declaration of tender regard for
him； and she particularly wanted to convince Lucy； by her
readiness to enter on the matter again； and her calmness in
conversing on it； that she was no otherwise interested in it than as
a friend； which she very much feared her involuntary agitation； in
their morning discourse； must have left at least doubtful。 That
Lucy was disposed to be jealous of her； appeared very probable； it
was plain that Edward had always spoken highly in her praise； not
merely from Lucy’s assertion； but from her venturing to trust her
on so short a personal acquaintance； with a secret so confessedly
and evidently important。 And even Sir John’s joking intelligence
must have had some weight。 But indeed； while Elinor remained so
well assured within herself of being really beloved by Edward； it
required no other consideration of probabilities to make it natural
that Lucy should be jealous； and that she was so； her very
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