sense and sensibility(理智与情感)-第69章
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The time was now drawing on； when Colonel Brandon might be
expected back。 At ten o’clock； she trusted； or at least not much
later her mother would be relieved from the dreadful suspense in
which she must now be travelling towards them。 The Colonel；
too！—perhaps scarcely less an object of pity！—Oh！—how slow was
the progress of time which yet kept them in ignorance！
At seven o’clock； leaving Marianne still sweetly asleep； she
joined Mrs。 Jennings in the drawing…room to tea。 Of breakfast she
had been kept by her fears； and of dinner by their sudden reverse；
from eating much；—and the present refreshment； therefore； with
such feelings of content as she brought to it； was particularly
welcome。 Mrs。 Jennings would have persuaded her； at its
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conclusion； to take some rest before her mother’s arrival； and
allow her to take her place by Marianne； but Elinor had no sense
of fatigue； no capability of sleep at that moment about her； and she
was not to be kept away from her sister an unnecessary instant。
Mrs。 Jennings therefore attending her up stairs into the sick
chamber； to satisfy herself that all continued right； left her there
again to her charge and her thoughts； and retired to her own room
to write letters and sleep。
The night was cold and stormy。 The wind roared round the
house； and the rain beat against the windows； but Elinor； all
happiness within； regarded it not。 Marianne slept through every
blast； and the travellers—they had a rich reward in store； for every
present inconvenience。
The clock struck eight。 Had it been ten； Elinor would have been
convinced that at that moment she heard a carriage driving up to
the house； and so strong was the persuasion that she did； in spite
of the almost impossibility of their being already come； that she
moved into the adjoining dressing…closet and opened a window
shutter； to be satisfied of the truth。 She instantly saw that her ears
had not deceived her。 The flaring lamps of a carriage were
immediately in view。 By their uncertain light she thought she
could discern it to be drawn by four horses； and this； while it told
the excess of her poor mother’s alarm； gave some explanation to
such unexpected rapidity。
Never in her life had Elinor found it so difficult to be calm； as at
that moment。 The knowledge of what her mother must be feeling
as the carriage stopt at the door—of her doubt—her dread—
perhaps her despair！—and of what she had to tell！—with such
knowledge it was impossible to be calm。 All that remained to be
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done was to be speedy； and therefore staying only till she could
leave Mrs。 Jennings’s maid with her sister； she hurried down
stairs。
The bustle in the vestibule； as she passed along an inner lobby；
assured her that they were already in the house。 She rushed to the
drawing…room；—she entered it；—and saw only Willoughby。
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CHAPTER VIII
linor； starting back with a look of horror at the sight of
him； obeyed the first impulse of her heart in turning
E
instantly to quit the room； and her hand was already on
the lock； when its action was suspended by his hastily advancing；
and saying； in a voice rather of command than supplication；
“Miss Dashwood； for half an hour—for ten minutes—I entreat
you to stay。”
“No； sir；” she replied with firmness； “I shall not stay。 Your
business cannot be with me。 The servants； I suppose； forgot to tell
you that Mr。 Palmer was not in the house。”
“Had they told me；” he cried with vehemence； “that Mr。 Palmer
and all his relations were at the devil； it would not have turned me
from the door。 My business is with you； and only you。”
“With me！”—in the utmost amazement—“well； sir—be quick—
and if you can—less violent。”
“Sit down； and I will be both。”
She hesitated； she knew not what to do。 The possibility of
Colonel Brandon’s arriving and finding her there； came across
her。 But she had promised to hear him； and her curiosity no less
than her honour was engaged。 After a moment’s recollection；
therefore； concluding that prudence required dispatch； and that
her acquiescence would best promote it； she walked silently
towards the table； and sat down。 He took the opposite chair； and
for half a minute not a word was said by either。
“Pray be quick； sir”—said Elinor； impatiently—“I have no time
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to spare。”
He was sitting in an attitude of deep meditation； and seemed
not to hear her。
“Your sister；” said he； with abruptness； a moment afterwards—
“is out of danger。 I heard it from the servant。 God be praised！—
But is it true？ is it really true？”
Elinor would not speak。 He repeated the inquiry with yet
greater eagerness。
“For God’s sake tell me； is she out of danger； or is she not？”
“We hope she is。”
He rose up； and walked across the room。
“Had I known as much half an hour ago—But since I am
here”—speaking with a forced vivacity as he returned to his seat—
“what does it signify？—For once； Miss Dashwood—it will be the
last time； perhaps—let us be cheerful together。—I am in a fine
mood for gaiety。—Tell me honestly”—a deeper glow
overspreading his cheeks—“do you think me most a knave or a
fool？”
Elinor looked at him with greater astonishment than ever。 She
began to think that he must be in liquor；—the strangeness of such
a visit； and of such manners； seemed no otherwise intelligible； and
with this impression she immediately rose； saying；
“Mr。 Willoughby； I advise you at present to return to Combe。—I
am not at leisure to remain with you longer。—Whatever your
business may be with me； it will be better recollected and
explained to…morrow。”
“I understand you；” he replied； with an expressive smile； and a
voice perfectly calm； “yes； I am very drunk。—A pint of porter with
my cold beef at Marlborough was enough to over…set me。”
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“At Marlborough！”—cried Elinor； more and more at a loss to
understand what he would be at。
“Yes—I left London this morning at eight o’clock； and the only
ten minutes I have spent out of my chaise since that time procured
me a luncheon at Marlborough。”
The steadiness of his manner； and the intelligence of his eye as
he spoke； convincing Elinor； that whatever other unpardonable
folly might bring him to Cleveland； he was not brought there by
intoxication； she said； after a moment’s recollection；
“Mr。 Willoughby； you ought to feel； and I certainly do—that after
what has passed—your coming here in this manner； and forcing
yourself upon my notice； requires a very particular excuse。—What
is it； that you mean by it？”—
“I mean”—said he； with serious energy—“if I can； to make you
hate me one degree less than you do now。 I mean to offer some
kind of explanation； some kind of apology； for the past； to open my
whole heart to you； and by convincing you； that though I have
been always a blockhead； I have not been always a rascal； to
obtain something like forgiveness from Ma—from your sister。”
“Is this the real reason of your coming？”
“Upon my soul it is；”—was his answer； with a warmth which
brought all the former Willoughby to her remembrance； and in
spite of herself made her think him sincere。
“If that is all； you may be satisfied already；—for Marianne
does—she has long forgiven you。”
“Has she！”—he cried； in the same eager tone。—“Then she has
forgiven me before she ought to have done it。 But she shall forgive
me again； and on more reasonable grounds。—Now will you listen
to me？”
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Elinor bowed her assent。
“I do not know；” said he； after a pause of expectation on her
side； and thoughtfulness on his own；—“how you may have
accounted for my behaviour to your sister； or what diabolical
motive you may have imputed to me。—Perhaps you will hardly
think the better of me；—it is worth the trial however； and you shall
hear every thing。 When I first became intimate in your family； I
had no other intention； no other view in the acquaintance than to
pass my time pleasantly while I was obliged to remain in
Devonshire； more pleasantly than I had ever done before。 Your
sister’s lovely person and interesting manners could not but please
me； and her behaviour to me almost from the first； was of a kind—
It is astonishing； when I reflect on what it w
