sense and sensibility(理智与情感)-第80章
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the very last were neither less frequent； nor less affectionate than
usual。 Not the smallest suspicion； therefore； had ever occurred to
prepare him for what followed；—and when at last it burst on him
in a letter from Lucy herself； he had been for some time； he
believed； half stupified between the wonder； the horror； and the
joy of such a deliverance。 He put the letter into Elinor’s hands。
Dear Sir；
Being very sure I have long lost your affections； I have thought
myself at liberty to bestow my own on another； and have no doubt
of being as happy with him as I once used to think I might be with
you； but I scorn to accept a hand while the heart was another’s。
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Sincerely wish you happy in your choice； and it shall not be my
fault if we are not always good friends； as our near relationship
now makes proper。 I can safely say I owe you no ill…will； and am
sure you will be too generous to do us any ill offices。 Your brother
has gained my affections entirely； and as we could not live without
one another； we are just returned from the altar； and are now on
our way to Dawlish for a few weeks； which place your dear brother
has great curiosity to see； but thought I would first trouble you
with these few lines； and shall always remain；
Your sincere well…wisher； friend； and sister；
LUCY FERRARS。
I have burnt all your letters； and will return your picture the
first opportunity。 Please to destroy my scrawls—but the ring with
my hair you are very welcome to keep。
Elinor read and returned it without any comment。
“I will not ask your opinion of it as a composition；” said
Edward。—“For worlds would not I have had a letter of hers seen
by you in former days。—In a sister it is bad enough； but in a
wife！—how I have blushed over the pages of her writing！—and I
believe I may say that since the first half year of our foolish—
business—this is the only letter I ever received from her； of which
the substance made me any amends for the defect of the style。”
“However it may have come about；” said Elinor； after a
pause；—“they are certainly married。 And your mother has
brought on herself a most appropriate punishment。 The
independence she settled on Robert； through resentment against
you； has put it in his power to make his own choice； and she has
actually been bribing one son with a thousand a…year； to do the
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very deed which she disinherited the other for intending to do。
She will hardly be less hurt； I suppose； by Robert’s marrying Lucy；
than she would have been by your marrying her。”
“She will be more hurt by it； for Robert always was her
favourite。—She will be more hurt by it； and on the same principle
will forgive him much sooner。”
In what state the affair stood at present between them； Edward
knew not； for no communication with any of his family had yet
been attempted by him。 He had quitted Oxford within four and
twenty hours after Lucy’s letter arrived； and with only one object
before him； the nearest road to Barton； had had no leisure to form
any scheme of conduct； with which that road did not hold the most
intimate connection。 He could do nothing till he were assured of
his fate with Miss Dashwood； and by his rapidity in seeking that
fate； it is to be supposed； in spite of the jealousy with which he had
once thought of Colonel Brandon； in spite of the modesty with
which he rated his own deserts； and the politeness with which he
talked of his doubts； he did not； upon the whole； expect a very
cruel reception。 It was his business； however； to say that he did；
and he said it very prettily。 What he might say on the subject a
twelvemonth after； must be referred to the imagination of
husbands and wives。
That Lucy had certainly meant to deceive； to go off with a
flourish of malice against him in her message by Thomas； was
perfectly clear to Elinor； and Edward himself； now thoroughly
enlightened on her character； had no scruple in believing her
capable of the utmost meanness of wanton ill…nature。 Though his
eyes had been long opened； even before his acquaintance with
Elinor began； to her ignorance and a want of liberality in some of
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her opinions—they had been equally imputed； by him； to her want
of education； and till her last letter reached him； he had always
believed her to be a well…disposed； good…hearted girl； and
thoroughly attached to himself。 Nothing but such a persuasion
could have prevented his putting an end to an engagement； which；
long before the discovery of it laid him open to his mother’s anger；
had been a continual source of disquiet and regret to him。
“I thought it my duty；” said he； “independent of my feelings； to
give her the option of continuing the engagement or not； when I
was renounced by my mother； and stood to all appearance without
a friend in the world to assist me。 In such a situation as that；
where there seemed nothing to tempt the avarice or the vanity of
any living creature； how could I suppose； when she so earnestly； so
warmly insisted on sharing my fate； whatever it might be； that any
thing but the most disinterested affection was her inducement？
And even now； I cannot comprehend on what motive she acted； or
what fancied advantage it could be to her； to be fettered to a man
for whom she had not the smallest regard； and who had only two
thousand pounds in the world。 She could not foresee that Colonel
Brandon would give me a living。”
“No； but she might suppose that something would occur in your
favour； that your own family might in time relent。 And at any rate；
she lost nothing by continuing the engagement； for she has proved
that it fettered neither her inclination nor her actions。 The
connection was certainly a respectable one； and probably gained
her consideration among her friends； and； if nothing more
advantageous occurred； it would be better for her to marry you
than be single。”
Edward was； of course； immediately convinced that nothing
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could have been more natural than Lucy’s conduct； nor more self…
evident than the motive of it。
Elinor scolded him； harshly as ladies always scold the
imprudence which compliments themselves； for having spent so
much time with them at Norland； when he must have felt his own
inconstancy。
“Your behaviour was certainly very wrong；” said she；
“because—to say nothing of my own conviction； our relations were
all led away by it to fancy and expect what； as you were then
situated； could never be。”
He could only plead an ignorance of his own heart； and a
mistaken confidence in the force of his engagement。
“I was simple enough to think； that because my faith was
plighted to another； there could be no danger in my being with
you； and that the consciousness of my engagement was to keep my
heart as safe and sacred as my honour。 I felt that I admired you；
but I told myself it was only friendship； and till I began to make
comparisons between yourself and Lucy； I did not know how far I
was got。 After that； I suppose； I was wrong in remaining so much
in Sussex； and the arguments with which I reconciled myself to
the expediency of it； were no better than these：—The danger is my
own； I am doing no injury to anybody but myself。”
Elinor smiled； and shook her head。
Edward heard with pleasure of Colonel Brandon’s being
expected at the Cottage； as he really wished not only to be better
acquainted with him； but to have an opportunity of convincing
him that he no longer resented his giving him the living of
Delaford—“Which； at present；” said he； “after thanks so
ungraciously delivered as mine were on the occasion； he must
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think I have never forgiven him for offering。”
Now he felt astonished himself that he had never yet been to
the place。 But so little interest had he taken in the matter； that he
owed all his knowledge of the house； garden； and glebe； extent of
the parish； condition of the land； and rate of the tithes； to Elinor
herself； who had heard so much of it from Colonel Brandon； and
heard it with so much attention； as to be entirely mistress of the
subject。
One question after this only remained undecided； between
them； one difficulty only was to be overcome。 They were brought
together by mutual affection； with the warmest approbation of
their real friends； their intimate knowledge of each other seemed
to make their happiness certain—and they only wante
