the lazy tour of two idle apprentices(两个闲荡徒弟的旅行)-第16章
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consolation was provided in the form of three terrific urns or vases of
white metal； containing nothing； each forming a breastwork for a defiant
and apparently much…injured woman。
Established at this Station； Mr。 Thomas Idle and Mr。 Francis
Goodchild resolved to enjoy it。 But； its contrasts were very violent； and
there was also an infection in it。
First； as to its contrasts。 They were only two； but they were Lethargy
and Madness。 The Station was either totally unconscious； or wildly
raving。 By day； in its unconscious state； it looked as if no life could
come to it； … as if it were all rust； dust； and ashes … as if the last train for
ever； had gone without issuing any Return…Tickets … as if the last Engine
had uttered its last shriek and burst。 One awkward shave of the air from
the wooden razor； and everything changed。 Tight office…doors flew open；
panels yielded； books； newspapers； travelling…caps and wrappers broke out
of brick walls； money chinked； conveyances oppressed by nightmares of
luggage came careering into the yard； porters started up from secret places；
ditto the much…injured women； the shining bell； who lived in a little tray
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on stilts by himself； flew into a man's hand and clamoured violently。 The
pointsman aloft in the signal…box made the motions of drawing； with some
difficulty； hogsheads of beer。 Down Train！ More bear！ Up Train！
More beer。 Cross junction Train！ More beer！ Cattle Train！ More
beer。 Goods Train！ Simmering； whistling； trembling； rumbling；
thundering。 Trains on the whole confusion of intersecting rails； crossing
one another； bumping one another； hissing one another； backing to go
forward； tearing into distance to come close。 People frantic。 Exiles
seeking restoration to their native carriages； and banished to remoter
climes。 More beer and more bell。 Then； in a minute； the Station
relapsed into stupor as the stoker of the Cattle Train； the last to depart；
went gliding out of it； wiping the long nose of his oil…can with a dirty
pocket…handkerchief。
By night； in its unconscious state； the Station was not so much as
visible。 Something in the air； like an enterprising chemist's established in
business on one of the boughs of Jack's beanstalk； was all that could be
discerned of it under the stars。 In a moment it would break out； a
constellation of gas。 In another moment； twenty rival chemists； on
twenty rival beanstalks； came into existence。 Then； the Furies would be
seen； waving their lurid torches up and down the confused perspectives of
embankments and arches … would be heard； too； wailing and shrieking。
Then； the Station would be full of palpitating trains； as in the day； with the
heightening difference that they were not so clearly seen as in the day；
whereas the Station walls； starting forward under the gas； like a
hippopotamus's eyes； dazzled the human locomotives with the sauce…bottle；
the cheap music； the bedstead； the distorted range of buildings where the
patent safes are made； the gentleman in the rain with the registered
umbrella； the lady returning from the ball with the registered respirator；
and all their other embellishments。 And now； the human locomotives；
creased as to their countenances and purblind as to their eyes； would
swarm forth in a heap； addressing themselves to the mysterious urns and
the much…injured women； while the iron locomotives； dripping fire and
water； shed their steam about plentifully； making the dull oxen in their
cages； with heads depressed； and foam hanging from their mouths as their
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red looks glanced fearfully at the surrounding terrors； seem as though they
had been drinking at half…frozen waters and were hung with icicles。
Through the same steam would be caught glimpses of their fellow…
travellers； the sheep； getting their white kid faces together； away from the
bars； and stuffing the interstices with trembling wool。 Also； down among
the wheels； of the man with the sledge…hammer； ringing the axles of the
fast night…train； against whom the oxen have a misgiving that he is the
man with the pole…axe who is to come by…and…by； and so the nearest of
them try to get back； and get a purchase for a thrust at him through the
bars。 Suddenly； the bell would ring； the steam would stop with one hiss
and a yell； the chemists on the beanstalks would be busy； the avenging
Furies would bestir themselves； the fast night…train would melt from eye
and ear； the other trains going their ways more slowly would be heard
faintly rattling in the distance like old… fashioned watches running down；
the sauce…bottle and cheap music retired from view； even the bedstead
went to bed； and there was no such visible thing as the Station to vex the
cool wind in its blowing； or perhaps the autumn lightning； as it found out
the iron rails。
The infection of the Station was this：… When it was in its raving state；
the Apprentices found it impossible to be there； without labouring under
the delusion that they were in a hurry。 To Mr。 Goodchild； whose ideas of
idleness were so imperfect； this was no unpleasant hallucination； and
accordingly that gentleman went through great exertions in yielding to it；
and running up and down the platform； jostling everybody； under the
impression that he had a highly important mission somewhere； and had not
a moment to lose。 But； to Thomas Idle； this contagion was so very
unacceptable an incident of the situation； that he struck on the fourth day；
and requested to be moved。
'This place fills me with a dreadful sensation；' said Thomas； 'of having
something to do。 Remove me； Francis。'
'Where would you like to go next？' was the question of the ever…
engaging Goodchild。
'I have heard there is a good old Inn at Lancaster； established in a fine
old house： an Inn where they give you Bride…cake every day after
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dinner；' said Thomas Idle。 'Let us eat Bride…cake without the trouble of
being married； or of knowing anybody in that ridiculous dilemma。'
Mr。 Goodchild； with a lover's sigh； assented。 They departed from the
Station in a violent hurry （for which； it is unnecessary to observe； there
was not the least occasion）； and were delivered at the fine old house at
Lancaster； on the same night。
It is Mr。 Goodchild's opinion； that if a visitor on his arrival at
Lancaster could be accommodated with a pole which would push the
opposite side of the street some yards farther off； it would be better for all
parties。 Protesting against being required to live in a trench； and obliged
to speculate all day upon what the people can possibly be doing within a
mysterious opposite window； which is a shop…window to look at； but not a
shop…window in respect of its offering nothing for sale and declining to
give any account whatever of itself； Mr。 Goodchild concedes Lancaster to
be a pleasant place。 A place dropped in the midst of a charming
landscape； a place with a fine ancient fragment of castle； a place of lovely
walks； a place possessing staid old houses richly fitted with old Honduras
mahogany； which has grown so dark with time that it seems to have got
something of a retrospective mirror…quality into itself； and to show the
visitor； in the depth of its grain； through all its polish； the hue of the
wretched slaves who groaned long ago under old Lancaster merchants。
And Mr。 Goodchild adds that the stones of Lancaster do sometimes
whisper； even yet； of rich men passed away … upon whose great prosperity
some of these old doorways frowned sullen in the brightest weather … that
their slave…gain turned to curses； as the Arabian Wizard's money turned to
leaves； and that no good ever came of it； even unto the third and fourth
generations； until it was wasted and gone。
It was a gallant sight to behold； the Sunday procession of the Lancaster
elders to Church … all in black； and looking fearfully like a funeral without
the Body … under the escort of Three Beadles。
'Think；' said Francis； as he stood at the Inn window； admiring； 'of
being taken to the sacred edifice by three Beadles！ I have； in my early
time； been taken out of it by one Beadle； but； to be taken into it by three； O
Thomas； is a distinction I shall never enjoy！'
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CHAPTER IV
When Mr。 Goodchild had looked out of the Lancaster Inn window for
two hours on end； with great perseverance； he begun to entertain a
misgiving that he was growing industrious。 He therefore set himself next；
to explore the country from the tops of all the steep hills in the
neighbourhood。
He came back at dinner…time； red and glowing； to tell Thomas Idle
what he had seen。 Thomas； on his back reading； listened with great
composure； and asked him wh
