the lazy tour of two idle apprentices(两个闲荡徒弟的旅行)-第22章
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THE LAZY TOUR OF TWO IDLE APPRENTICES
CHAPTER V
Two of the many passengers by a certain late Sunday evening train； Mr。
Thomas Idle and Mr。 Francis Goodchild； yielded up their tickets at a little
rotten platform （converted into artificial touchwood by smoke and ashes）；
deep in the manufacturing bosom of Yorkshire。 A mysterious bosom it
appeared； upon a damp； dark； Sunday night； dashed through in the train to
the music of the whirling wheels； the panting of the engine； and the part…
singing of hundreds of third…class excursionists； whose vocal efforts
'bobbed arayound' from sacred to profane； from hymns； to our transatlantic
sisters the Yankee Gal and Mairy Anne； in a remarkable way。 There
seemed to have been some large vocal gathering near to every lonely
station on the line。 No town was visible； no village was visible； no light
was visible； but； a multitude got out singing； and a multitude got in
singing； and the second multitude took up the hymns； and adopted our
transatlantic sisters； and sang of their own egregious wickedness； and of
their bobbing arayound； and of how the ship it was ready and the wind it
was fair； and they were bayound for the sea； Mairy Anne； until they in
their turn became a getting… out multitude； and were replaced by another
getting…in multitude； who did the same。 And at every station； the getting…
in multitude； with an artistic reference to the completeness of their chorus；
incessantly cried； as with one voice while scuffling into the carriages； 'We
mun aa' gang toogither！'
The singing and the multitudes had trailed off as the lonely places
were left and the great towns were neared； and the way had lain as silently
as a train's way ever can； over the vague black streets of the great gulfs of
towns； and among their branchless woods of vague black chimneys。
These towns looked； in the cinderous wet； as though they had one and all
been on fire and were just put out … a dreary and quenched panorama；
many miles long。
Thus； Thomas and Francis got to Leeds； of which enterprising and
important commercial centre it may be observed with delicacy； that you
must either like it very much or not at all。 Next day； the first of the Race…
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THE LAZY TOUR OF TWO IDLE APPRENTICES
Week； they took train to Doncaster。
And instantly the character； both of travellers and of luggage； entirely
changed； and no other business than race…business any longer existed on
the face of the earth。 The talk was all of horses and 'John Scott。'
Guards whispered behind their hands to station…masters； of horses and
John Scott。 Men in cut…away coats and speckled cravats fastened with
peculiar pins； and with the large bones of their legs developed under tight
trousers； so that they should look as much as possible like horses' legs；
paced up and down by twos at junction…stations； speaking low and
moodily of horses and John Scott。 The young clergyman in the black
strait… waistcoat； who occupied the middle seat of the carriage； expounded
in his peculiar pulpit…accent to the young and lovely Reverend Mrs。
Crinoline； who occupied the opposite middle…seat； a few passages of
rumour relative to 'Oartheth； my love； and Mithter John Eth…COTT。' A
bandy vagabond； with a head like a Dutch cheese； in a fustian stable…suit；
attending on a horse…box and going about the platforms with a halter
hanging round his neck like a Calais burgher of the ancient period much
degenerated； was courted by the best society； by reason of what he had to
hint； when not engaged in eating straw； concerning 't'harses and Joon
Scott。' The engine…driver himself； as he applied one eye to his large
stationary double…eye…glass on the engine； seemed to keep the other open；
sideways； upon horses and John Scott。
Breaks and barriers at Doncaster Station to keep the crowd off；
temporary wooden avenues of ingress and egress； to help the crowd on。
Forty extra porters sent down for this present blessed Race… Week； and all
of them making up their betting…books in the lamp… room or somewhere
else； and none of them to come and touch the luggage。 Travellers
disgorged into an open space； a howling wilderness of idle men。 All
work but race…work at a stand…still； all men at a stand…still。 'Ey my word！
Deant ask noon o' us to help wi' t'luggage。 Bock your opinion loike a
mon。 Coom！ Dang it； coom； t'harses and Joon Scott！' In the midst of
the idle men； all the fly horses and omnibus horses of Doncaster and parts
adjacent； rampant； rearing； backing； plunging； shying … apparently the
result of their hearing of nothing but their own order and John Scott。
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THE LAZY TOUR OF TWO IDLE APPRENTICES
Grand Dramatic Company from London for the Race…Week。 Poses
Plastiques in the Grand Assembly Room up the Stable…Yard at seven and
nine each evening； for the Race…Week。 Grand Alliance Circus in the field
beyond the bridge； for the Race…Week。 Grand Exhibition of Aztec
Lilliputians； important to all who want to be horrified cheap； for the Race…
Week。 Lodgings； grand and not grand； but all at grand prices； ranging
from ten pounds to twenty； for the Grand Race…Week！
Rendered giddy enough by these things； Messieurs Idle and Goodchild
repaired to the quarters they had secured beforehand； and Mr。 Goodchild
looked down from the window into the surging street。
'By Heaven； Tom！' cried he； after contemplating it； 'I am in the Lunatic
Asylum again； and these are all mad people under the charge of a body of
designing keepers！'
All through the Race…Week； Mr。 Goodchild never divested himself of
this idea。 Every day he looked out of window； with something of the
dread of Lemuel Gulliver looking down at men after he returned home
from the horse…country； and every day he saw the Lunatics； horse…mad；
betting…mad； drunken…mad； vice…mad； and the designing Keepers always
after them。 The idea pervaded； like the second colour in shot…silk； the
whole of Mr。 Goodchild's impressions。 They were much as follows：
Monday； mid…day。 Races not to begin until to…morrow； but all the
mob…Lunatics out； crowding the pavements of the one main street of pretty
and pleasant Doncaster； crowding the road； particularly crowding the
outside of the Betting Rooms； whooping and shouting loudly after all
passing vehicles。 Frightened lunatic horses occasionally running away；
with infinite clatter。 All degrees of men； from peers to paupers； betting
incessantly。 Keepers very watchful； and taking all good chances。 An
awful family likeness among the Keepers； to Mr。 Palmer and Mr。 Thurtell。
With some knowledge of expression and some acquaintance with heads
（thus writes Mr。 Goodchild）； I never have seen anywhere； so many
repetitions of one class of countenance and one character of head （both
evil） as in this street at this time。 Cunning； covetousness； secrecy； cold
calculation； hard callousness and dire insensibility； are the uniform Keeper
characteristics。 Mr。 Palmer passes me five times in five minutes； and； so
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THE LAZY TOUR OF TWO IDLE APPRENTICES
I go down the street； the back of Mr。 Thurtell's skull is always going on
before me。
Monday evening。 Town lighted up； more Lunatics out than ever； a
complete choke and stoppage of the thoroughfare outside the Betting
Rooms。 Keepers； having dined； pervade the Betting Rooms； and sharply
snap at the moneyed Lunatics。 Some Keepers flushed with drink； and
some not； but all close and calculating。 A vague echoing roar of 't'harses'
and 't'races' always rising in the air； until midnight； at about which period
it dies away in occasional drunken songs and straggling yells。 But； all
night； some unmannerly drinking…house in the neighbourhood opens its
mouth at intervals and spits out a man too drunk to be retained： who
thereupon makes what uproarious protest may be left in him； and either
falls asleep where he tumbles； or is carried off in custody。
Tuesday morning； at daybreak。 A sudden rising； as it were out of the
earth； of all the obscene creatures； who sell 'correct cards of the races。'
They may have been coiled in corners； or sleeping on door…steps； and；
having all passed the night under the same set of circumstances； may all
want to circulate their blood at the same time； but； however that may be；
they spring into existence all at once and together； as though a new
Cadmus had sown a race…horse's teeth。 There is nobody up； to buy the
cards； but； the cards are madly cried。 There is no patronage to quarrel for；
but； they madly quarrel and fight。 Conspicuous among these hyaenas； as
breakfast… time discloses； is a fearful creature in the general semblance of
a man： shaken off his next…to…no legs by drink and devilry； bare… headed
and bare…footed； with a great shock of hair like a horrible broom； and
nothing on him but a ragged pair of trousers and a pink glazed…calico coat
… made on him … so very tight that it is as evident that he could never take it
off； as that he never does。 This hideous apparition； inconceivably drunk；
has a terrible power
