the lazy tour of two idle apprentices(两个闲荡徒弟的旅行)-第26章
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home again； as I might take home an artless child who said to me； 〃If you
please； sir； I am tired。〃 For a week this complete harmony between me
and my horse lasted undisturbed。 At the end of that time； when he had
made quite sure of my friendly confidence in his laziness； when he had
thoroughly acquainted himself with all the little weaknesses of my seat
（and their name is Legion）； the smouldering treachery and ingratitude of
the equine nature blazed out in an instant。 Without the slightest
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provocation from me； with nothing passing him at the time but a pony…
chaise driven by an old lady； he started in one instant from a state of
sluggish depression to a state of frantic high spirits。 He kicked； he
plunged； he shied； he pranced； he capered fearfully。 I sat on him as long
as I could； and when I could sit no longer； I fell off。 No； Francis！ this is not
a circumstance to be laughed at； but to be wept over。 What would be said
of a Man who had requited my kindness in that way？ Range over all the
rest of the animal creation； and where will you find me an instance of
treachery so black as this？ The cow that kicks down the milking…pail
may have some reason for it； she may think herself taxed too heavily to
contribute to the dilution of human tea and the greasing of human bread。
The tiger who springs out on me unawares has the excuse of being hungry
at the time； to say nothing of the further justification of being a total
stranger to me。 The very flea who surprises me in my sleep may defend
his act of assassination on the ground that I； in my turn； am always ready
to murder him when I am awake。 I defy the whole body of Natural
Historians to move me； logically； off the ground that I have taken in regard
to the horse。 Receive back your hat； Brother Francis； and go to the
chemist's； if you please； for I have now done。 Ask me to take anything
you like； except an interest in the Doncaster races。 Ask me to look at
anything you like； except an assemblage of people all animated by feelings
of a friendly and admiring nature towards the horse。 You are a
remarkably well…informed man； and you have heard of hermits。 Look upon
me as a member of that ancient fraternity； and you will sensibly add to the
many obligations which Thomas Idle is proud to owe to Francis
Goodchild。'
Here； fatigued by the effort of excessive talking； disputatious Thomas
waved one hand languidly； laid his head back on the sofa… pillow； and
calmly closed his eyes。
At a later period； Mr。 Goodchild assailed his travelling companion
boldly from the impregnable fortress of common sense。 But Thomas；
though tamed in body by drastic discipline； was still as mentally
unapproachable as ever on the subject of his favourite delusion。
The view from the window after Saturday's breakfast is altogether
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changed。 The tradesmen's families have all come back again。 The
serious stationer's young woman of all work is shaking a duster out of the
window of the combination breakfast…room； a child is playing with a doll；
where Mr。 Thurtell's hair was brushed； a sanitary scrubbing is in progress
on the spot where Mr。 Palmer's braces were put on。 No signs of the
Races are in the streets； but the tramps and the tumble…down…carts and
trucks laden with drinking…forms and tables and remnants of booths； that
are making their way out of the town as fast as they can。 The Angel；
which has been cleared for action all the week； already begins restoring
every neat and comfortable article of furniture to its own neat and
comfortable place。 The Angel's daughters （pleasanter angels Mr。 Idle and
Mr。 Goodchild never saw； nor more quietly expert in their business； nor
more superior to the common vice of being above it）； have a little time to
rest； and to air their cheerful faces among the flowers in the yard。 It is
market…day。 The market looks unusually natural； comfortable； and
wholesome； the market…people too。 The town seems quite restored； when；
hark！ a metallic bray … The Gong…donkey！
The wretched animal has not cleared off with the rest； but is here；
under the window。 How much more inconceivably drunk now； how
much more begrimed of paw； how much more tight of calico hide； how
much more stained and daubed and dirty and dunghilly； from his horrible
broom to his tender toes； who shall say！ He cannot even shake the bray
out of himself now； without laying his cheek so near to the mud of the
street； that he pitches over after delivering it。 Now； prone in the mud；
and now backing himself up against shop…windows； the owners of which
come out in terror to remove him； now； in the drinking…shop； and now in
the tobacconist's； where he goes to buy tobacco； and makes his way into
the parlour； and where he gets a cigar； which in half…a…minute he forgets to
smoke； now dancing； now dozing； now cursing； and now complimenting
My Lord； the Colonel； the Noble Captain； and Your Honourable Worship；
the Gong…donkey kicks up his heels； occasionally braying； until suddenly；
he beholds the dearest friend he has in the world coming down the street。
The dearest friend the Gong…donkey has in the world； is a sort of
Jackall； in a dull； mangy； black hide； of such small pieces that it looks as if
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it were made of blacking bottles turned inside out and cobbled together。
The dearest friend in the world （inconceivably drunk too） advances at the
Gong…donkey； with a hand on each thigh； in a series of humorous springs
and stops； wagging his head as he comes。 The Gong…donkey regarding
him with attention and with the warmest affection； suddenly perceives that
he is the greatest enemy he has in the world； and hits him hard in the
countenance。 The astonished Jackall closes with the Donkey； and they
roll over and over in the mud； pummelling one another。 A Police
Inspector； supernaturally endowed with patience； who has long been
looking on from the Guildhall…steps； says； to a myrmidon； 'Lock 'em up！
Bring 'em in！'
Appropriate finish to the Grand Race…Week。 The Gong…donkey；
captive and last trace of it； conveyed into limbo； where they cannot do
better than keep him until next Race…Week。 The Jackall is wanted too；
and is much looked for； over the way and up and down。 But； having had
the good fortune to be undermost at the time of the capture； he has
vanished into air。
On Saturday afternoon； Mr。 Goodchild walks out and looks at the
Course。 It is quite deserted； heaps of broken crockery and bottles are
raised to its memory； and correct cards and other fragments of paper are
blowing about it； as the regulation little paper…books； carried by the French
soldiers in their breasts； were seen； soon after the battle was fought；
blowing idly about the plains of Waterloo。
Where will these present idle leaves be blown by the idle winds； and
where will the last of them be one day lost and forgotten？ An idle
question； and an idle thought； and with it Mr。 Idle fitly makes his bow； and
Mr。 Goodchild his； and thus ends the Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices。
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