a girl of the limberlost-第52章

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from　the　telephone。



〃I　just　caught　him；〃　she　said。　　〃There's　that　much　saved。　

Why　Wesley；　what　are　you　going　to　do？〃



〃You　go　sit　on　the　front　porch　a　little　while；〃　said　Wesley。　

〃You　will　feel　better　if　you　don't　see　this。〃



〃Wesley；〃　cried　Margaret　aghast。　　〃Some　of　that　wine

is　ten　years　old。　　There　are　days　and　days　of　hard　work

in　it；　and　I　couldn't　say　how　much　sugar。　　Dr。　Ammon

keeps　people　alive　with　it　when　nothing　else　will　stay　on

their　stomachs。〃



〃Let　'em　die；　then！〃　said　Wesley。　　〃You　heard　the　boy；

didn't　you？〃



〃It's　a　cold　process。　　There's　not　a　particle　of　fermentation

about　it。〃



〃Not　a　particle　of　fermentation！　　Great　day；　Margaret！　　Look　at

those　pigs！〃



Margaret　took　a　long　look。　　〃Leave　me　a　few　bottles

for　mince…meat；〃　she　wavered。



〃Not　a　smell　for　any　use　on　this　earth！　　You　heard

the　boy！　　He　shan't　say；　when　he　grows　to　manhood；　that

he　learned　to　like　it　here！〃



Wesley　threw　away　the　wine；　Mrs。　Comstock　cheerfully　assisting。　

Then　they　walked　to　the　woods　to　see　and　learn　about　the

wonderful　insects。　　The　day　ended　with　a　big　supper　at

Sintons'；　and　then　they　went　to　the　Comstock　cabin　for

a　concert。　　Elnora　played　beautifully　that　night。　　When　the

Sintons　left　she　kissed　Billy　with　particular　tenderness。　

She　was　so　moved　that　she　was　kinder　to　Philip　than　she　had

intended　to　be；　and　Elnora　as　an　antidote　to　a　disappointed

lover　was　a　decided　success　in　any　mood。



However　strong　the　attractions　of　Edith　Carr　had

been；　once　the　bond　was　finally　broken；　Philip　Ammon

could　not　help　realizing　that　Elnora　was　the　superior

woman；　and　that　he　was　fortunate　to　have　escaped；　when

he　regarded　his　ties　strongest。　　Every　day；　while　working

with　Elnora；　he　saw　more　to　admire。　　He　grew　very

thankful　that　he　was　free　to　try　to　win　her；　and　impatient

to　justify　himself　to　her。



Elnora　did　not　evince　the　slightest　haste　to　hear　what

he　had　to　say；　but　waited　the　week　she　had　set；　in　spite

of　Philip's　hourly　manifest　impatience。　　When　she　did

consent　to　listen；　Philip　felt　before　he　had　talked　five

minutes；　that　she　was　putting　herself　in　Edith　Carr's

place；　and　judging　him　from　what　the　other　girl's

standpoint　would　be。　　That　was　so　disconcerting；　he　did

not　plead　his　cause　nearly　so　well　as　he　had　hoped；　for

when　he　ceased　Elnora　sat　in　silence。



〃You　are　my　judge；〃　he　said　at　last。　　〃What　is　your　verdict？〃



〃If　I　could　hear　her　speak　from　her　heart　as　I　just　have

heard　you；　then　I　could　decide；〃　answered　Elnora。



〃She　is　on　the　ocean；〃　said　Philip。　　〃She　went　because

she　knew　she　was　wholly　in　the　wrong。　　She　had　nothing

to　say；　or　she　would　have　remained。〃



〃That　sounds　plausible；〃　reasoned　Elnora；　〃but　it　is

pretty　difficult　to　find　a　woman　in　an　affair　that　involves

her　heart　with　nothing　at　all　to　say。　　I　fancy　if　I　could

meet　her；　she　would　say　several　things。　　I　should　love　to

hear　them。　　If　I　could　talk　with　her　three　minutes；　I

could　tell　what　answer　to　make　you。〃



〃Don't　you　believe　me；　Elnora？〃



〃Unquestioningly；〃　answered　Elnora。　　〃But　I　would

believe　her　also。　　If　only　I　could　meet　her　I　soon

would　know。〃



〃I　don't　see　how　that　is　to　be　accomplished；〃　said

Philip；　〃but　I　am　perfectly　willing。　　There　is　no　reason

why　you　should　not　meet　her；　except　that　she　probably

would　lose　her　temper　and　insult　you。〃



〃Not　to　any　extent；〃　said　Elnora　calmly。　　〃I　have

a　tongue　of　my　own；　while　I　am　not　without　some　small

sense　of　personal　values。〃



Philip　glanced　at　her　and　began　to　laugh。　　Very　different

of　facial　formation　and　colouring；　Elnora　at　times　closely

resembled　her　mother。　　She　joined　in　his　laugh　ruefully。



〃The　point　is　this；〃　she　said。　　〃Some　one　is　going　to

be　hurt；　most　dreadfully。　　If　the　decision　as　to　whom　it

shall　be　rests　with　me；　I　must　know　it　is　the　right　one。　

Of　course；　no　one　ever　hinted　it　to　you；　but　you　are　a

very　attractive　man；　Philip。　　You　are　mighty　good　to

look　at；　and　you　have　a　trained；　refined　mind；　that　makes

you　most　interesting。　　For　years　Edith　Carr　has　felt　that

you　were　hers。　　Now；　how　is　she　going　to　change？　　I　have

been　thinkingthinking　deep　and　long；　Phil。　　If　I　were

in　her　place；　I　simply　could　not　give　you　up；　unless

you　had　made　yourself　unworthy　of　love。　　Undoubtedly；　you

never　seemed　so　desirable　to　her　as　just　now；　when　she　is

told　she　can't　have　you。　　What　I　think　is　that　she　will

come　to　claim　you　yet。〃



〃You　overlook　the　fact　that　it　is　not　in　a　woman's　power

to　throw　away　a　man　and　pick　him　up　at　pleasure；〃　said

Philip　with　some　warmth。　　〃She　publicly　and　repeatedly

cast　me　off。　　I　accepted　her　decision　as　publicly　as

it　was　made。　　You　have　done　all　your　thinking　from

a　wrong　viewpoint。　　You　seem　to　have　an　idea　that　it

lies　with　you　to　decide　what　I　shall　do；　that　if　you　say　the

word；　I　shall　return　to　Edith。　　Put　that　thought　out　of

your　head！　　Now；　and　for　all　time　to　come；　she　is　a　matter

of　indifference　to　me。　　She　killed　all　feeling　in　my　heart

for　her　so　completely　that　I　do　not　even　dread　meeting　her。



〃If　I　hated　her；　or　was　angry　with　her；　I　could　not　be

sure　the　feeling　would　not　die。　　As　it　is；　she　has　deadened

me　into　a　creature　of　indifference。　　So　you　just　revise

your　viewpoint　a　little；　Elnora。　　Cease　thinking　it　is　for

you　to　decide　what　I　shall　do；　and　that　I　will　obey　you。　

I　make　my　own　decisions　in　reference　to　any　woman；　save　you。　

The　question　you　are　to　decide　is　whether　I　may　remain　here；

associating　with　you　as　I　did　last　summer；　but　with　the

difference　that　it　is　understood　that　I　am　free；　that　it

is　my　intention　to　care　for　you　all　I　please；　to　make　you

return　my　feeling　for　you　if　I　can。　　There　is　just　one

question　for　you　to　decide；　and　it　is　not　triangular。　

It　is　between　us。　　May　I　remain？　　May　I　love　you？　

Will　you　give　me　the　chance　to　prove　what　I　think　of　you？〃



〃You　speak　very　plainly；〃　said　Elnora。



〃This　is　the　time　to　speak　plainly；〃　said　Philip　Ammon。　

〃There　is　no　use　in　allowing　you　to　go　on　threshing　out

a　problem　which　does　not　exist。　　If　you　do　not　want

me　here；　say　so　and　I　will　go。　　Of　course；　I　warn　you

before　I　start；　that　I　will　come　back。　　I　won't　yield

without　the　stiffest　fight　it　is　in　me　to　make。　　But　drop

thinking　it　lies　in　your　power　to　send　me　back　to　Edith　Carr。　

If　she　were　the　last　woman　in　the　world；　and　I　the　last　man；

I'd　jump　off　the　planet　before　I　would　give　her　further

opportunity　to　exercise　her　temper　on　me。　　Narrow　this　to

us；　Elnora。　　Will　you　take　the　place　she　vacated？　

Will　you　take　the　heart　she　threw　away？　　I'd　give　my

right　hand　and　not　flinch；　if　I　could　offer　you　my

life；　free　from　any　contact　with　hers；　but　that　is

not　possible。　　I　can't　undo　things　which　are　done。　

I　can　only　profit　by　experience　and　build　better　in

the　future。〃



〃I　don't　see　how　you　can　be　sure　of　yourself；〃　said　Elnora。　

〃I　don't　see　how　I　could　be　sure　of　you。　　You　loved　her　first；

you　never　can　care　for　me　anything　like　that。　　Always　I'd

have　to　be　afraid　you　were　thinking　of　her　and　regretting。〃



〃Folly！〃　cried　Philip。　　〃Regretting　what？　　That　I

was　not　married　to　a　woman　who　was　liable　to　rave　at

me　any　time　or　place；　without　my　being　conscious　of

having　given　offence？　　A　man　does　relish　that！　　I　am

likely　to　pine　for　more！〃



〃You'd　be　thinking　she'd　learned　a　lesson。　　You　would

think　it　wouldn't　happen　again。〃



〃No；　I　wouldn't　be　‘thinking；'〃　said；　Philip。　　〃I'd　be

everlastingly　sure！　　I　wouldn't　risk　what　I　went

through　that　night　again；　not　to　save　my　life！　　Just　you

and　me；　Elnora。　　Decide　for　us。〃



〃I　can't！〃　cried　Elnora。　　〃I　am　afraid！〃



〃Very　well；〃　said　Philip。　　〃We　will　wait　until　you　feel

that　you　can。　　Wait　until　fear　vanishes。　　Just　decide

now　whether　you　would　rather　have　me　go　for　a　few

months；　or　remain　with　you。　　Which　shall　it　be；　Elnora？〃



〃You　can　never　love　me　as　you　did　her；〃　wailed　Elnora。



〃I　am　happy　to　say　I　cannot；〃　replied　he。　　〃I've　cut

my　matrimonial　teeth。　　I'm　cured　of　wanting　to　swell

in　society。　　I'm　over　being　proud　of　a　woman　for　her

looks　alone。　　I　have　no　further　use　for　lavishing　myself　on

a　beautiful；　elegantly　dressed　creature；　who　thinks　only

of　self。　　I　have　learned　that　I　am　a　common　man。　　I　admire

beauty　and　beautiful　clothing　quite　as　much　as　I　ever

did；　but；　first；　I　want　an　understanding；　deep　as　the　lowest

recess　of　my　soul；　with　the　woman　I　marry。　　I　want　to　work

for　you；　to　plan　for　you；　to　build　you　a　home　with　every

comfort；　to　give　you　all　good　things　I　can；　to　shield

you　from　every　evil。　　I　want　to　interpose　my　body　between

yours　and　fire；　flood；　or　famine。　　I　want　to　give

you　everything；　but　I　hate　the　idea　of　getting　nothing　at

all　on　which　I　can　depend　in　return。　　Edith　Carr　had

only　good　looks　to　offer；　and　when　anger　overtook　her；

beauty　went　out　like　a　snuffed　candle。



〃I　want　you　to　love　me。　　I　want　some　consideration。

I　even　crave　respect。　　I've　kept　myself　clean。　　So　far

as　I　know　how　to　be；　I　am　honest　and　scrupulous。　

It　wouldn't　hurt　me　to　feel　that　you　took　some　interest

in　these　things。　　Rather　fierce　temptations　strike　a　man；

every　few　days；　in　this　world。　　I　can　keep　decent；　for　a

woman　who　cares　for　decency；　but　when　I　do；　I'd　like

to　have　the　fact　recognized；　by　just　enough　of　a　show　of

appreciation　that　I　could　see　it。　　I　am　tired　of　this　one…

sided　business。　　After　this；　I　want　to　get　a　little　in　return

for　what　I　give。　　Elnora；　you　have　love；　tenderness；

and　honest　appreciation　of　the　finest　in　life。　　Take　what

I　offer；　and　give　what　I　ask。〃



〃You　do　not　ask　much；〃　said　Elnora。



〃As　for　not　loving　you　as　I　did　Edith；〃　continued

Philip；　〃as　I　said　before；　I　hope　not！　　I　have　a　newer

and　a　better　idea　of　loving。　　The　feeling　I　offer　you　was

inspired　by　you。　　It　is　a　Limberlost　product。　　It　is　as

much　bigger；　cleaner；　and　more　wholesome　than　any　feeling

I　ever　had　for　Edith　Carr；　as　you　are　bigger　than　she；

when　you　stand　before　your　classes　and　in　calm　dignity

explain　the　marvels　of　the　Almighty；　while　she　stands

on　a　ballroom　floor；　and　gives　way　to　uncontrolled　temper。　

Ye　gods；　Elnora；　if　you　could　look　into　my　soul；　you

would　see　it　leap　and　rejoice　over　my　escape！　　Perhaps　it

isn't　decent；　but　it's　human；　and　I'm　only　a　common

human　being。　　I'm　the　gladdest　man　alive　that　I'm　free！　

I　would　turn　somersaults　and　yell　if　I　dared。　　What　an　escape！　

Stop　straining　after　Edith　Carr's　viewpoint　and　take　a　look

from　mine。　　Put　yourself　in　my　place　and　try　to　study　out

how　I　feel。



〃I　am　so　happy　I　grow　religious　over　it。　　Fifty　times

a　day　I　catch　myself　whispering；　‘My　soul　is　escaped！'　

As　for　you；　take　all　the　time　you　want。　　If　you　prefer　to

be　alone；　I'll　take　the　next　train　and　stay　away　as　long　as

I　can　bear　it；　but　I'll　come　back。