by shore and sedge(沙滩和苔草旁)-第2章
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and distant but not repellent； the moisture that had been denied his eyes at
the prayer…meeting overflowed them here； the words that had choked his
utterance an hour ago now rose to his lips。 He threw himself from his
horse； and kneeling in the withered grassa mere atom in the boundless
plainlifted his pale face against the irresponsive blue and prayed。
He prayed that the unselfish dream of his bitter boyhood； his
disappointed youth； might come to pass。 He prayed that he might in higher
hands become the humble instrument of good to his fellow… man。 He
prayed that the deficiencies of his scant education； his self…taught learning；
his helpless isolation； and his inexperience might be overlooked or
reinforced by grace。 He prayed that the Infinite Compassion might
enlighten his ignorance and solitude with a manifestation of the Spirit； in
his very weakness he prayed for some special revelation； some sign or
token； some visitation or gracious unbending from that coldly lifting sky。
The low sun burned the black edge of the distant tules with dull eating
fires as he prayed； lit the dwarfed hills with a brief but ineffectual radiance；
and then died out。 The lingering trade winds fired a few volleys over its
grave and then lapsed into a chilly silence。 The young man staggered to
his feet； it was quite dark now； but the coming night had advanced a few
starry vedettes so near the plain they looked like human watch…fires。 For
an instant he could not remember where he was。 Then a light trembled far
down at the entrance of the valley。 Brother Gideon recognized it。 It was in
the lonely farmhouse of the widow of the last Circuit preacher。
II
The abode of the late Reverend Marvin Hiler remained in the
disorganized condition he had left it when removed from his sphere of
earthly uselessness and continuous accident。 The straggling fence that only
half inclosed the house and barn had stopped at that point where the two
deacons who had each volunteered to do a day's work on it had completed
their allotted time。 The building of the barn had been arrested when the
half load of timber contributed by Sugar Mill brethren was exhausted； and
three windows given by 〃Christian Seekers〃 at Martinez painfully
accented the boarded spaces for the other three that 〃Unknown Friends〃 in
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Tasajara had promised but not yet supplied。 In the clearing some trees that
had been felled but not taken away added to the general incompleteness。
Something of this unfinished character clung to the Widow Hiler and
asserted itself in her three children； one of whom was consistently
posthumous。 Prematurely old and prematurely disappointed； she had all
the inexperience of girlhood with the cares of maternity； and kept in her
family circle the freshness of an old maid's misogynistic antipathies with a
certain guilty and remorseful consciousness of widowhood。 She supported
the meagre household to which her husband had contributed only the extra
mouths to feed with reproachful astonishment and weary incapacity。 She
had long since grown tired of trying to make both ends meet； of which she
declared 〃the Lord had taken one。〃 During her two years' widowhood she
had waited on Providence； who by a pleasing local fiction had been made
responsible for the disused and cast…off furniture and clothing which；
accompanied with scriptural texts； found their way mysteriously into her
few habitable rooms。 The providential manna was not always fresh； the
ravens who fed her and her little ones with flour from the Sugar Mills did
not always select the best quality。 Small wonder that； sitting by her lonely
hearthstone；a borrowed stove that supplemented the unfinished
fireplace； surrounded by her mismatched furniture and clad in misfitting
garments； she had contracted a habit of sniffling during her dreary watches。
In her weaker moments she attributed it to grief； in her stronger intervals
she knew that it sprang from damp and draught。
In her apathy the sound of horses' hoofs at her unprotected door even
at that hour neither surprised nor alarmed her。 She lifted her head as the
door opened and the pale face of Gideon Deane looked into the room。 She
moved aside the cradle she was rocking； and； taking a saucepan and tea…
cup from a chair beside her； absently dusted it with her apron； and pointing
to the vacant seat said； 〃Take a chair；〃 as quietly as if he had stepped from
the next room instead of the outer darkness。
〃I'll put up my horse first；〃 said Gideon gently。
〃So do；〃 responded the widow briefly。
Gideon led his horse across the inclosure； stumbling over the heaps of
rubbish； dried chips； and weather…beaten shavings with which it was
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strewn； until he reached the unfinished barn； where he temporarily
bestowed his beast。 Then taking a rusty axe； by the faint light of the stars；
he attacked one of the fallen trees with such energy that at the end of ten
minutes he reappeared at the door with an armful of cut boughs and chips；
which he quietly deposited behind the stove。 Observing that he was still
standing as if looking for something； the widow lifted her eyes and said；
〃Ef it's the bucket； I reckon ye'll find it at the spring； where one of them
foolish Filgee boys left it。 I've been that tuckered out sens sundown； I ain't
had the ambition to go and tote it back。〃 Without a word Gideon repaired
to the spring； filled the missing bucket； replaced the hoop on the loosened
staves of another he found lying useless beside it； and again returned to the
house。 The widow once more pointed to the chair； and Gideon sat down。
〃It's quite a spell sens you wos here；〃 said the Widow Hiler； returning her
foot to the cradle…rocker； 〃not sens yer was ordained。 Be'n practicin'； I
reckon； at the meetin'。〃
A slight color came into his cheek。 〃My place is not there； Sister
Hiler；〃 he said gently； 〃it's for those with the gift o' tongues。 I go forth
only a common laborer in the vineyard。〃 He stopped and hesitated； he
might have said more； but the widow； who was familiar with that kind of
humility as the ordinary perfunctory expression of her class； suggested no
sympathetic interest in his mission。
〃Thar's a deal o' talk over there；〃 she said dryly； 〃and thar's folks ez
thinks thar's a deal o' money spent in picnicking the Gospel that might be
given to them ez wish to spread it； or to their widows and children。 But
that don't consarn you； Brother Gideon。 Sister Parsons hez money enough
to settle her darter Meely comfortably on her own land； and I've heard tell
that you and Meely was only waitin' till you was ordained to be jined
together。 You'll hev an easier time of it； Brother Gideon； than poor Marvin
Hiler had；〃 she continued； suppressing her tears with a certain astringency
that took the place of her lost pride； 〃but the Lord wills that some should
be tried and some not。〃
〃But I am not going to marry Meely Parsons；〃 said Gideon quietly。
The widow took her foot from the rocker。 〃Not marry Meely！〃 she
repeated vaguely。 But relapsing into her despondent mood she continued：
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〃Then I reckon it's true what other folks sez of Brother Silas Braggley
makin' up to her and his powerful exhortin' influence over her ma。 Folks
sez ez Sister Parsons hez just resigned her soul inter his keepin'。〃
〃Brother Silas hez a heavenly gift；〃 said the young man； with gentle
enthusiasm； 〃and perhaps it may be so。 If it is； it is the Lord's will。 But I
do not marry Meely because my life and my ways henceforth must lie far
beyond her sphere of strength。 I oughtn't to drag a young inexperienced
soul with me to battle and struggle in the thorny paths that I must tread。〃
〃I reckon you know your own mind；〃 said Sister Hiler grimly。 〃But
thar's folks ez might allow that Meely Parsons ain't any better than others；
that she shouldn't have her share o' trials and keers and crosses。 Riches and
bringin' up don't exempt folks from the shadder。 I married Marvin Hiler
outer a house ez good ez Sister Parsons'； and at a time when old Cyrus
Parsons hadn't a roof to his head but the cover of the emigrant wagon he
kem across the plains in。 I might say ez Marvin knowed pretty well wot it
was to have a helpmeet in his ministration； if it wasn't vanity of sperit to
say it now。 But the flesh is weak； Brother Gideon。〃 Her influenza here
resolved itself into unmistakable tears； which she wiped away with the
first article that was accessible in the work…bag before her。 As it chanced to
be a black silk neckerchief of the deceased Hiler； the result was funereal；
suggestive； but practically ineffective。
〃You were a good wife to Brother Hiler；〃 said the young man gently。
〃Everybody knows that。〃
〃It's suthin' to think of since he's gone；〃 continued the widow； bringing
her work nearer to her eyes to adjust it to their tear… dimmed focus。 〃It's
suthin' to lay to heart in the lonely days and nights when thar's no man
round to fetch water and wood and lend a hand to doin' chores； it's suthin'
to remember； with his three children to feed； and little Selby； the eldest；
that vain and useless that he can't even tote the baby round while I do the
work of a hired man。〃
〃It's a hard trial； Sister Hiler；〃 said Gideon； 〃but the Lord has His
appointed time。〃
Familiar as consolation by vague quotation was to Sister Hiler； there
was an occult sympathy in the tone in which this was offered that lifted
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