the secret sharer-第6章

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could　not　feel　more　relieved　than　I。　Four　fellows　came　running

out　from　somewhere　forward　and　went　over　the　side；　while　my

own　men；　appearing　on　deck　too；　lined　the　rail。　　I　escorted

my　visitor　to　the　gangway　ceremoniously；　and　nearly　overdid　it。

He　was　a　tenacious　beast。　　On　the　very　ladder　he　lingered；

and　in　that　unique；　guiltily　conscientious　manner　of　sticking

to　the　point：



〃I　say　。　。　。　you　。　。　。　you　don't　think　that〃



I　covered　his　voice　loudly：



〃Certainly　not。　　。　。　。　I　am　delighted。　　Good…by。〃



I　had　an　idea　of　what　he　meant　to　say；　and　just　saved　myself

by　the　privilege　of　defective　hearing。　　He　was　too　shaken

generally　to　insist；　but　my　mate；　close　witness　of　that　parting；

looked　mystified　and　his　face　took　on　a　thoughtful　cast。

As　I　did　not　want　to　appear　as　if　I　wished　to　avoid　all

communication　with　my　officers；　he　had　the　opportunity

to　address　me。



〃Seems　a　very　nice　man。　　His　boat's　crew　told　our　chaps　a　very

extraordinary　story；　if　what　I　am　told　by　the　steward　is　true。

I　suppose　you　had　it　from　the　captain；　sir？〃



〃Yes。　　I　had　a　story　from　the　captain。〃



〃A　very　horrible　affairisn't　it；　sir？〃



〃It　is。〃



〃Beats　all　these　tales　we　hear　about　murders　in　Yankee　ships。〃



〃I　don't　think　it　beats　them。　　I　don't　think　it　resembles　them

in　the　least。〃



〃Bless　my　soulyou　don't　say　so！　　But　of　course　I've　no

acquaintance　whatever　with　American　ships；　not　I　so　I　couldn't

go　against　your　knowledge。　　It's　horrible　enough　for　me。

。　。　。　But　the　queerest　part　is　that　those　fellows　seemed　to　have

some　idea　the　man　was　hidden　aboard　here。　　They　had　really。

Did　you　ever　hear　of　such　a　thing？〃



〃Preposterousisn't　it？〃



We　were　walking　to　and　fro　athwart　the　quarter…deck。　No　one　of　the　crew

forward　could　be　seen　（the　day　was　Sunday）；　and　the　mate　pursued：



〃There　was　some　little　dispute　about　it。　　Our　chaps　took　offense。

‘As　if　we　would　harbor　a　thing　like　that；'　they　said。

‘Wouldn't　you　like　to　look　for　him　in　our　coal…hole？'　Quite　a　tiff。

But　they　made　it　up　in　the　end。　　I　suppose　he　did　drown　himself。

Don't　you；　sir？〃



〃I　don't　suppose　anything。〃



〃You　have　no　doubt　in　the　matter；　sir？〃



〃None　whatever。〃



I　left　him　suddenly。　　I　felt　I　was　producing　a　bad　impression；

but　with　my　double　down　there　it　was　most　trying　to　be　on　deck。　　And　it

was　almost　as　trying　to　be　below。　　Altogether　a　nerve…trying　situation。

But　on　the　whole　I　felt　less　torn　in　two　when　I　was　with　him。

There　was　no　one　in　the　whole　ship　whom　I　dared　take　into

my　confidence。　　Since　the　hands　had　got　to　know　his　story；

it　would　have　been　impossible　to　pass　him　off　for　anyone　else；

and　an　accidental　discovery　was　to　be　dreaded　now　more　than　ever。

。　。　。



The　steward　being　engaged　in　laying　the　table　for　dinner；

we　could　talk　only　with　our　eyes　when　I　first　went　down。

Later　in　the　afternoon　we　had　a　cautious　try　at　whispering。

The　Sunday　quietness　of　the　ship　was　against　us；　the　stillness

of　air　and　water　around　her　was　against　us；　the　elements；

the　men　were　against　useverything　was　against　us　in　our

secret　partnership；　time　itselffor　this　could　not　go　on　forever。

The　very　trust　in　Providence　was；　I　suppose；　denied　to　his　guilt。

Shall　I　confess　that　this　thought　cast　me　down　very　much？

And　as　to　the　chapter　of　accidents　which　counts　for　so　much

in　the　book　of　success；　I　could　only　hope　that　it　was　closed。

For　what　favorable　accident　could　be　expected？



〃Did　you　hear　everything？〃　were　my　first　words　as　soon　as　we　took

up　our　position　side　by　side；　leaning　over　my　bed　place。



He　had。　　And　the　proof　of　it　was　his　earnest　whisper；　〃The　man　told　you

he　hardly　dared　to　give　the　order。〃



I　understood　the　reference　to　be　to　that　saving　foresail。



〃Yes。　　He　was　afraid　of　it　being　lost　in　the　setting。〃



〃I　assure　you　he　never　gave　the　order。　　He　may　think　he　did；

but　he　never　gave　it。　　He　stood　there　with　me　on　the　break　of　the　poop

after　the　main　topsail　blew　away；　and　whimpered　about　our　last　hope

positively　whimpered　about　it　and　nothing　elseand　the　night　coming　on！

To　hear　one's　skipper　go　on　like　that　in　such　weather　was　enough

to　drive　any　fellow　out　of　his　mind。　　It　worked　me　up　into　a　sort

of　desperation。　　I　just　took　it　into　my　own　hands　and　went

away　from　him；　boiling；　andBut　what's　the　use　telling　you？

YOU　know！　。　。　。　Do　you　think　that　if　I　had　not　been　pretty　fierce

with　them　I　should　have　got　the　men　to　do　anything？　　Not　It！

The　bo's'n　perhaps？　　Perhaps！　　It　wasn't　a　heavy　seait　was　a　sea

gone　mad！　　I　suppose　the　end　of　the　world　will　be　something　like　that；

and　a　man　may　have　the　heart　to　see　it　coming　once　and　be　done　with　it

but　to　have　to　face　it　day　after　dayI　don't　blame　anybody。

I　was　precious　little　better　than　the　rest。　　OnlyI　was　an　officer

of　that　old　coal　wagon；　anyhow〃



〃I　quite　understand；〃　I　conveyed　that　sincere　assurance　into　his　ear。

He　was　out　of　breath　with　whispering；　I　could　hear　him　pant　slightly。

It　was　all　very　simple。　　The　same　strung…up　force　which　had　given　twenty…four

men　a　chance；　at　least；　for　their　lives；　had；　in　a　sort　of　recoil；

crushed　an　unworthy　mutinous　existence。



But　I　had　no　leisure　to　weigh　the　merits　of　the　matter

footsteps　in　the　saloon；　a　heavy　knock。　　〃There's　enough　wind

to　get　under　way　with；　sir。〃　　Here　was　the　call　of　a　new　claim

upon　my　thoughts　and　even　upon　my　feelings。



〃Turn　the　hands　up；〃　I　cried　through　the　door。　　〃I'll　be　on　deck　directly。〃



I　was　going　out　to　make　the　acquaintance　of　my　ship。

Before　I　left　the　cabin　our　eyes　metthe　eyes　of　the　only

two　strangers　on　board。　　I　pointed　to　the　recessed　part　where

the　little　campstool　awaited　him　and　laid　my　finger　on　my　lips。

He　made　a　gesturesomewhat　vaguea　little　mysterious；

accompanied　by　a　faint　smile；　as　if　of　regret。



This　is　not　the　place　to　enlarge　upon　the　sensations　of　a　man

who　feels　for　the　first　time　a　ship　move　under　his　feet　to　his

own　independent　word。　　In　my　case　they　were　not　unalloyed。

I　was　not　wholly　alone　with　my　command；　for　there　was　that　stranger

in　my　cabin。　　Or　rather；　I　was　not　completely　and　wholly　with　her。

Part　of　me　was　absent。　　That　mental　feeling　of　being　in　two

places　at　once　affected　me　physically　as　if　the　mood　of　secrecy

had　penetrated　my　very　soul。　　Before　an　hour　had　elapsed　since

the　ship　had　begun　to　move；　having　occasion　to　ask　the　mate

（he　stood　by　my　side）　to　take　a　compass　bearing　of　the　pagoda；

I　caught　myself　reaching　up　to　his　ear　in　whispers。

I　say　I　caught　myself；　but　enough　had　escaped　to　startle　the　man。

I　can't　describe　it　otherwise　than　by　saying　that　he　shied。

A　grave；　preoccupied　manner；　as　though　he　were　in　possession

of　some　perplexing　intelligence；　did　not　leave　him　henceforth。

A　little　later　I　moved　away　from　the　rail　to　look　at　the　compass

with　such　a　stealthy　gait　that　the　helmsman　noticed　it

and　I　could　not　help　noticing　the　unusual　roundness　of　his　eyes。

These　are　trifling　instances；　though　it's　to　no　commander's

advantage　to　be　suspected　of　ludicrous　eccentricities。

But　I　was　also　more　seriously　affected。　　There　are　to　a　seaman

certain　words；　gestures；　that　should　in　given　conditions　come

as　naturally；　as　instinctively　as　the　winking　of　a　menaced　eye。

A　certain　order　should　spring　on　to　his　lips　without　thinking；

a　certain　sign　should　get　itself　made；　so　to　speak；

without　reflection。　　But　all　unconscious　alertness　had　abandoned　me。

I　had　to　make　an　effort　of　will　to　recall　myself　back

（from　the　cabin）　to　the　conditions　of　the　moment。

I　felt　that　I　was　appearing　an　irresolute　commander　to　those

people　who　were　watching　me　more　or　less　critically。



And；　besides；　there　were　the　scares。　　On　the　second　day　out；

for　instance；　coming　off　the　deck　in　the　afternoon　（I　had　straw

slippers　on　my　bare　feet）　I　stopped　at　the　open　pantry　door　and　spoke

to　the　steward。　　He　was　doing　something　there　with　his　back　to　me。

At　the　sound　of　my　voice　he　nearly　jumped　out　of　his　skin；

as　the　saying　is；　and　incidentally　broke　a　cup。



〃What　on　earth's　the　matter　with　you？〃　　I　asked；　astonished。



He　was　extremely　confused。　　〃Beg　your　pardon；　sir。　　I　made　sure

you　were　in　your　cabin。〃



〃You　see　I　wasn't。〃



〃No；　sir。　　I　could　have　sworn　I　had　heard　you　moving　in　there　not

a　moment　ago。　　It's　most　extraordinary　。　。　。　very　sorry；　sir。〃



I　passed　on　with　an　inward　shudder。　　I　was　so　identified

with　my　secret　double　that　I　did　not　even　mention

the　fact　in　those　scanty；　fearful　whispers　we　exchanged。

I　suppose　he　had　made　some　slight　noise　of　some　kind　or　other。

It　would　have　been　miraculous　if　he　hadn't　at　one　time　or　another。

And　yet；　haggard　as　he　appeared；　he　looked　always　perfectly

self…controlled；　more　than　calmalmost　invulnerable。

On　my　suggestion　he　remained　almost　entirely　in

the　bathroom；　which；　upon　the　whole；　was　the　safest　place。

There　could　be　really　no　shadow　of　an　excuse　for　anyone　ever

wanting　to　go　in　there；　once　the　steward　had　done　with　it。

It　was　a　very　tiny　place。　　Sometimes　he　reclined　on

the　floor；　his　legs　bent；　his　head　sustained　on　one　elbow。

At　others　I　would　find　him　on　the　campstool；　sitting　in　his　gray

sleeping　suit　and　with　his　cropped　dark　hair　like　a　patient；

unmoved　convict。　　At　night　I　would　smuggle　him　into　my　bed　place；

and　we　would　whisper　together；　with　the　regular　footfalls　of

the　officer　of　the　watch　passing　and　repassing　over　our　heads。

It　was　an　infinitely　miserable　time。　　It　was　lucky　that　some

tins　of　fine　preserves　were　stowed　in　a　locker　in　my　stateroom；

hard　bread　I　could　always　get　hold　of；　and　so　he　lived　on　stewed

chicken；　PATE　DE　FOIE　GRAS；　asparagus；　cooked　oysters；　sardines

on　all　sorts　of　abominable　sham　delicacies　out　of　tins。

My　early…morning　coffee　he　always　drank；　and　it　was　all　I

dared　do　for　him　in　that　respect。



Every　day　there　was　the　horrible　maneuvering　to　go　through　so　that　my　room

and　then　the　bathroom　should　be　done　in　the　usual　way。　　I　came　to　hate

the　sight　of　the　steward；　to　abhor　the　voice　of　that　harmless　man。

I　felt　that　it　was　he　who　would　bring　on　the　disaster　of　discovery。

It　hung　like　a　sword　over　our　heads。



The　fourth　day　out；　I　think　（we　were　then　working　down　the　east　side

of　the　Gulf　of　Siam；　tack　for　tack；　in　light　winds　and　smooth　water）

the　fourth　day；　I　say；　of　this　miserable　juggling　with　the　unavoidable；

as　we　sat　at　our　evening　meal；　that　man；　whose　slightest　movement

I　dreaded；　after　putting　down　the　dishes　ran　up　on　deck　busily。

This　could　not　be　dangerous。　　Presently　he　came　down　again；

and　then　it　appeared　that　he　had　remembered　a　coat　of　mine

which　I　had　thrown　over　a　rail　to　dry　after　having　been　wetted

in　a　shower　which　had　passed　over　the　ship　in　the　afternoon。

Sitting　stolidly　at　the　head　of　the　table　I　became　terrified　at

the　sight　of　the　garment　on　his　arm。　　Of　course　he　made　for　my　door。

Th