生命不能承受之轻-第25章

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But　you　don't　want　people　to　think　that　you；　a　doctor；　wanted　to　deprive　human　beings　of　their　right　to　see！　
Try　to　understand；　will　you？　It　was　a　letter　to　the　editor；　buried　in　the　back　pages。　No　one　even　noticed　it。　No　one　but　the　Russian　embassy　staff；　because　it's　what　they　look　for。　
Don't　say　that！　Don't　think　that！　I　myself　have　talked　to　many　people　who　read　your　article　and　were　amazed　you　could　have　written　it。　But　now　that　you　tell　me　it　didn't　come　out　the　way　you　wrote　it；　a　lot　of　things　fall　into　place。　Did　they　put　you　up　to　it？　
To　writing　it？　No。　I　submitted　it　on　my　own。　
Do　you　know　the　people　there？　
What　people？　
The　people　who　published　your　article。　
No。　
You　mean　you　never　spoke　to　them？　
They　asked　me　to　come　in　once　in　person。　
Why？　
About　the　article。　
And　who　was　it　you　talked　to？　
One　of　the　editors。　
What　was　his　name？　
Not　until　that　point　did　Tomas　realize　that　he　was　under　interrogation。　All　at　once　he　saw　that　his　every　word　could　put　someone　in　danger。　Although　he　obviously　knew　the　name　of　the　editor　in　question；　he　denied　it：　I'm　not　sure。　
Now；　now；　said　the　man　in　a　voice　dripping　with　indignation　over　Tomas's　insincerity；　you　can't　tell　me　he　didn't　introduce　himself！　
It　is　a　tragicomic　fact　that　our　proper　upbringing　has　become　an　ally　of　the　secret　police。　We　do　not　know　how　to　lie。　The　Tell　the　truth！　imperative　drummed　into　us　by　our　mamas　and　papas　functions　so　automatically　that　we　feel　ashamed　of　lying　even　to　a　secret　policeman　during　an　interrogation。　It　is　simpler　for　us　to　argue　with　him　or　insult　him　（which　makes　no　sense　whatever）　than　to　lie　to　his　face　（which　is　the　only　thing　to　do）。
When　the　man　from　the　Ministry　accused　him　of　insincerity；　Tomas　nearly　felt　guilty；　he　had　to　surmount　a　moral　barrier　to　be　able　to　persevere　in　his　lie：　I　suppose　he　did　introduce　himself；　he　said；　but　because　his　name　didn't　ring　a　bell；　I　immediately　forgot　it。　
What　did　he　look　like？　
The　editor　who　had　dealt　with　him　was　a　short　man　with　a　light　brown　crew　cut。　Tomas　tried　to　choose　diametrically　opposed　characteristics：　He　was　tall；　he　said；　and　had　long　black　hair。　
Aha；　said　the　man　from　the　Ministry；　and　a　big　chin！　
That's　right；　said　Tomas。
A　little　stooped。　
That's　right；　said　Tomas　again；　realizing　that　now　the　man　from　the　Ministry　had　pinpointed　an　individual。　Not　only　had　Tomas　informed　on　some　poor　editor　but；　more　important；　the　information　he　had　given　was　false。
And　what　did　he　want　to　see　you　about？　What　did　you　talk　about？　
It　had　something　to　do　with　word　order。　
It　sounded　like　a　ridiculous　attempt　at　evasion。　And　again　the　man　from　the　Ministry　waxed　indignant　at　Tomas's　refusal　to　tell　the　truth：　First　you　tell　me　they　cut　your　text　by　a　third；　then　you　tell　me　they　talked　to　you　about　word　order！　Is　that　logical？　
This　time　Tomas　had　no　trouble　responding；　because　he　had　told　the　absolute　truth。　It's　not　logical；　but　that's　how　it　was。　He　laughed。　They　asked　me　to　let　them　change　the　word　order　in　one　sentence　and　then　cut　a　third　of　what　I　had　written。　
The　man　from　the　Ministry　shook　his　head；　as　if　unable　to　grasp　so　immoral　an　act。　That　was　highly　irregular　on　their　part。　
He　finished　his　wine　and　concluded：　You　have　been　manipulated；　Doctor；　used。　It　would　be　a　pity　for　you　and　your　patients　to　suffer　as　a　result。　We　are　very　much　aware　of　your　positive　qualities。　We'll　see　what　can　be　done。　
He　gave　Tomas　his　hand　and　pumped　it　cordially。　Then　each　went　off　to　his　own　car。
6
After　the　talk　with　the　man　from　the　Ministry；　Tomas　fell　into　a　deep　depression。　How　could　he　have　gone　along　with　the　jovial　tone　of　the　conversation？　If　he　hadn't　refused　to　have　anything　at　all　to　do　with　the　man　（he　was　not　prepared　for　what　happened　and　did　not　know　what　was　condoned　by　law　and　what　was　not）；　he　could　at　least　have　refused　to　drink　wine　with　him　as　if　they　were　friends！　Supposing　someone　had　seen　him；　someone　who　knew　the　man。　He　could　only　have　inferred　that　Tomas　was　working　with　the　police！　And　why　did　he　even　tell　him　that　the　article　had　been　cut？　Why　did　he　throw　in　that　piece　of　information？　He　was　extremely　displeased　with　himself。
Two　weeks　later；　the　man　from　the　Ministry　paid　him　another　visit。　Once　more　he　invited　him　out　for　a　drink；　but　this　time　Tomas　requested　that　they　stay　in　his　office。
I　understand　perfectly；　Doctor；　said　the　man；　with　a　smile。
Tomas　was　intrigued　by　his　words。　He　said　them　like　a　chess　player　who　is　letting　his　opponent　know　he　made　an　error　in　the　previous　move。
They　sat　opposite　each　other；　Tomas　at　his　desk。　After　about　ten　minutes；　during　which　they　talked　about　the　flu　epidemic　raging　at　the　time；　the　man　said；　We've　given　your　case　a　lot　of　thought。　If　we　were　the　only　ones　involved；　there　would　be　nothing　to　it。　But　we　have　public　opinion　to　take　into　account。　Whether　you　meant　to　or　not；　you　fanned　the　flames　of　anti…Communist　hysteria　with　your　article。　I　must　tell　you　there　was　even　a　proposal　to　take　you　to　court　for　that　article。　There's　a　law　against　public　incitement　to　violence。　
The　man　from　the　Ministry　of　the　Interior　paused　to　look　Tomas　in　the　eye。　Tomas　shrugged　his　shoulders。　The　man　assumed　his　comforting　tone　again。　We　voted　down　the　proposal。　No　matter　what　your　responsibility　in　the　affair；　society　has　an　interest　in　seeing　you　use　your　abilities　to　the　utmost。　The　chief　surgeon　of　your　hospital　speaks　very　highly　of　you。　We　have　reports　from　your　patients　as　well。　You　are　a　fine　specialist。　Nobody　requires　a　doctor　to　understand　politics。　You　let　yourself　be　carried　away。　It's　high　time　we　settled　this　thing　once　and　for　all。　That's　why　we've　put　together　a　sample　statement　for　you。　All　you　have　to　do　is　make　it　available　to　the　press；　and　we'll　make　sure　it　comes　out　at　the　proper　time。　He　handed　Tomas　a　piece　of　paper。
Tomas　read　what　was　in　it　and　panicked。　It　was　much　worse　than　what　the　chief　surgeon　had　asked　him　to　sign　two　years　before。　It　did　not　stop　at　a　retraction　of　the　Oedipus　article。　It　contained　words　of　love　for　the　Soviet　Union；　vows　of　fidelity　to　the　Communist　Party；　it　condemned　the　intelligentsia；　which　wanted　to　push　the　country　into　civil　war；　and；　above　all；　it　denounced　the　editors　of　the　writers'　weekly　（with　special　emphasis　on　the　tall；　stooped　editor；　Tomas　had　never　met　him；　though　he　knew　his　name　and　had　seen　pictures　of　him）；　who　had　consciously　distorted　his　article　and　used　it　for　their　own　devices；　turning　it　into　a　call　for　counterrevolution：　too　cowardly　to　write　such　an　article　themselves；　they　had　hid　behind　a　naive　doctor。
The　man　from　the　Ministry　saw　the　panic　in　Tomas's　eyes。　He　leaned　over　and　gave　his　knee　a　friendly　pat　under　the　table。　Remember　now；　Doctor；　it's　only　a　sample！　Think　it　over；　and　if　there's　something　you　want　to　change；　I'm　sure　we　can　come　to　an　agreement。　After　all；　it's　your　statement！　
Tomas　held　the　paper　out　to　the　secret　policeman　as　if　he　were　afraid　to　keep　it　in　his　hands　another　second；　as　if　he　were　worried　someone　would　find　his　fingerprints　on　it。
But　instead　of　taking　the　paper；　the　man　from　the　Ministry　spread　his　arms　in　feigned　amazement　（the　same　gesture　the　Pope　uses　to　bless　the　crowds　from　his　balcony）。　Now　why　do　a　thing　like　that；　Doctor？　Keep　it。　Think　it　over　calmly　at　home。　
Tomas　shook　his　head　and　patiently　held　the　paper　in　his　outstretched　hand。　In　the　end；　the　man　from　the　Ministry　was　forced　to　abandon　his　papal　gesture　and　take　the　paper　back。
Tomas　was　on　the　point　of　telling　him　emphatically　that　he　would　neither　write　nor　sign　any　text　whatever；　but　at　the　last　moment　he　changed　his　tone　and　said　mildly；　I'm　no　illiterate；　am　I？　Why　should　I　sign　something　I　didn't　write　myself？　
Very　well；　then；　Doctor。　Let's　do　it　your　way。　You　write　it　up　yourself；　and　we'll　go　over　it　together。　You　can　use　what　you've　just　read　as　a　model。　
Why　didn't　Tomas　give　the　secret　policeman　an　immediate　and　unconditional　no？
This　is　what　probably　went　through　his　head：　Besides　using　a　statement　like　that　to　demoralize　the　nation　in　general　（which　is　clearly　the　Russian　strategy）；　the　police　could　have　a　concrete　goal　in　his　case：　they　might　be　gathering　evidence　for　a　trial　against　the　editors　of　the　weekly　that　had　published　Tomas's　article。　If　that　was　so；　they　would　need　his　statement　for　the　hearing　and　for　the　smear　campaign　the　press　would　conduct　against　them。　Were　he　to　refuse　flatly；　on　principle；　there　was　always　the　danger　that　the　police　would　print　the　prepared　statement　over　his　signature；　whether　he　gave　his　consent　or　not。　No　newspaper　would　dare　publish　his　denial。　No　one　in　the　world　would　believe　that　he　hadn't　written　or　signed　it。　People　derived　too　much　pleasure　from　seeing　their　fellow　man　morally　humiliated　to　spoil　that　pleasure　by　hearing　out　an　explanation。
By　giving　the　police　the　hope　that　he　would　write　a　text　of　his　own；　he　gained　a　bit　of　time。　The　very　next　day　he　resigned　from　the　clinic；　assuming　（correctly）　that　after　he　had　descended　voluntarily　to　the　lowest　rung　of　the　social　ladder　（a　descent　being　made　by　thousands　of　intellectuals　in　other　fields　at　the　time）；　the　police　would　have　no　more　hold　over　him　and　he　would　cease　to　interest　them。　Once　he　had　reached　the　lowest　rung　on　the　ladder；　they　would　no　longer　be　able　to　publish　a　statement　in　his　name；　for　the　simple　reason　that　no　one　would　accept　it　as　genuine。　Humiliating　public　statements　are　associated　exclusively　with　the　signatories'　rise；　not　fall。
But　in　Tomas's　country；　doctors　are　state　employees；　and　the　state　may　or　may　not　release　them　from　its　service。　The　official　with　whom　Tomas　negotiated　his　resignation　knew　him　by　name　and　reputation　and　tried　to　talk　him　into　staying　on。　Tomas　suddenly　realized　that　he　was　not　at　all　sure　he　had　made　the　proper　choice；　but　he　felt　bound　to　it　by　then　by　an　unspoken　vow　of　fidelity；　so　he　stood　fast。　And　that　is　how　he　became　a　window　washer。

7
Leaving　Zurich　for　Prague　a　few　years　earlier；　Tomas　had　quietly　said　to　himself；　Es　muss　sein！　He　was　thinking　of　his　love　for　Tereza。　No　sooner　had　he　crossed　the　border；　however；　than　he　began　to　doubt　whether　it　actually　did　have　to　be。　Later；　lying　next　to　Tereza；　he　recalled　that　he　had　been　led　to　her　by　a　chain　of　laughable　coincidences　that　took　place　seven　years　earlier　（when　the　chief　surgeon's　sciatica　was　in　its　early　stages）　and　were　about　to　return　him　to　a　cage　from　which　he　would　be　unable　to　escape。
Does　that　mean　his　life　lacked　any　Es　muss　sein！；　any　overriding　necessity？　In　my　opinion；　it　did　have　one。　But　it　was　not　love；　it　was　his　profession。　He　had　come　to　medicine　not　by　coincidence　or　calculation　but　by　a　deep　inner　desire。
Insofar　as　it　is　possible　to　divide　people　into　categories；　the　surest　criterion　is　the　deep…seated　desires　that　orient　them　to　one　or　another　lifelong　activity。　Every　Frenchman　is　different。　But　all　actors　the　world　over　are　similar—in　Paris；　Prague；　or　the　back　of　beyond。　An　actor　is　someone　who　in　early　childhood　consents　to　exhibit　himself　for　the　rest　of　his　life　to　an　anonymous　public。　Without　that　basic　consent；　which　has　nothing　to　do　with　talent；　which　goes　deeper　than　talent；　no　one　can　become　an　actor。　Similarly；　a　doctor　is　someone　who　co