生命不能承受之轻-第39章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　one　in　the　entire　nation　agreed　with　the　occupation　regime；　the　Russians　had　to　ferret　out　the　few　exceptions　and　push　them　into　power。　But　where　could　they　look？　All　faith　in　Communism　and　love　for　Russia　was　dead。　So　they　sought　people　who　wished　to　get　back　at　life　for　something；　people　with　revenge　on　the　brain。　Then　they　had　to　focus；　cultivate；　and　maintain　those　people's　aggressiveness；　give　them　a　temporary　substitute　to　practice　on。
The　substitute　they　lit　upon　was　animals。
All　at　once　the　papers　started　coming　out　with　cycles　of　features　and　organized　letters…to…the…editor　campaigns　demanding；　for　example；　the　extermination　of　all　pigeons　within　city　limits。　And　the　pigeons　would　be　exterminated。　But　the　major　drive　was　directed　against　dogs。　People　were　still　disconsolate　over　the　catastrophe　of　the　occupation；　but　radio；　television；　and　the　press　went　on　and　on　about　dogs：　how　they　soil　our　streets　and　parks；　endanger　our　children's　health；　fulfill　no　useful　function；　yet　must　be　fed。　They　whipped　up　such　a　psychotic　fever　that　Tereza　had　been　afraid　that　the　crazed　mob　would　do　harm　to　Karenin。　Only　after　a　year　did　the　accumulated　malice　（which　until　then　had　been　vented；　for　the　sake　of　training；　on　animals）　find　its　true　goal：　people。　People　started　being　removed　from　their　jobs；　arrested；　put　on　trial。　At　last　the　animals　could　breathe　freely。
Tereza　kept　stroking　Karenin's　head；　which　was　quietly　resting　in　her　lap；　while　something　like　the　following　ran　through　her　mind：　There's　no　particular　merit　in　being　nice　to　one's　fellow　man。　She　had　to　treat　the　other　villagers　decently；　because　otherwise　she　couldn't　live　there。　Even　with　Tomas；　she　was　obliged　to　behave　lovingly　because　she　needed　him。　We　can　never　establish　with　certainty　what　part　of　our　relations　with　others　is　the　result　of　our　emotions—love；　antipathy；　charity；　or　malice—and　what　part　is　predetermined　by　the　constant　power　play　among　individuals。
True　human　goodness；　in　all　its　purity　and　freedom；　can　come　to　the　fore　only　when　its　recipient　has　no　power。　Mankind's　true　moral　test；　its　fundamental　test　（which　lies　deeply　buried　from　view）；　consists　of　its　attitude　towards　those　who　are　at　its　mercy：　animals。　And　in　this　respect　mankind　has　suffered　a　fundamental　debacle；　a　debacle　so　fundamental　that　all　others　stem　from　it。
One　of　the　heifers　had　made　friends　with　Tereza。　The　heifer　would　stop　and　stare　at　her　with　her　big　brown　eyes。　Tereza　knew　her。　She　called　her　Marketa。　She　would　have　been　happy　to　give　all　her　heifers　names；　but　she　was　unable　to。　There　were　too　many　of　them。　Not　so　long　before；　forty　years　or　so；　all　the　cows　in　the　village　had　names。　（And　if　having　a　name　is　a　sign　of　having　a　soul；　I　can　say　that　they　had　souls　despite　Descartes。）　But　then　the　villages　were　turned　into　a　large　collective　factory；　and　the　cows　began　spending　all　their　lives　in　the　five　square　feet　set　aside　for　them　in　their　cow　sheds。　From　that　time　on；　they　have　had　no　names　and　become　mere　machinae　animatae。　The　world　has　proved　Descartes　correct。
Tereza　keeps　appearing　before　my　eyes。　I　see　her　sitting　on　the　stump　petting　Karenin's　head　and　ruminating　on　mankind's　debacles。　Another　image　also　comes　to　mind：　Nietzsche　leaving　his　hotel　in　Turin。　Seeing　a　horse　and　a　coachman　beating　it　with　a　whip；　Nietzsche　went　up　to　the　horse　and；　before　the　coachman's　very　eyes；　put　his　arms　around　the　horse's　neck　and　burst　into　tears。
That　took　place　in　1889；　when　Nietzsche；　too；　had　removed　himself　from　the　world　of　people。　In　other　words；　it　was　at　the　time　when　his　mental　illness　had　just　erupted。　But　for　that　very　reason　I　feel　his　gesture　has　broad　implications：
Nietzsche　was　trying　to　apologize　to　the　horse　for　Descartes。　His　lunacy　（that　is；　his　final　break　with　mankind）　began　at　the　very　moment　he　burst　into　tears　over　the　horse。
And　that　is　the　Nietzsche　I　love；　just　as　I　love　Tereza　with　the　mortally　ill　dog　resting　his　head　in　her　lap。　I　see　them　one　next　to　the　other：　both　stepping　down　from　the　road　along　which　mankind；　the　master　and　proprietor　of　nature；　marches　onward。

3
Karenin　gave　birth　to　two　rolls　and　a　bee。　He　stared；　amazed；　at　his　own　progeny。　The　rolls　were　utterly　serene；　but　the　bee　staggered　about　as　if　drugged；　then　flew　up　and　away。
Or　so　it　happened　in　Tereza's　dream。　She　told　it　to　Tomas　the　minute　he　woke　up；　and　they　both　found　a　certain　consolation　in　it。　It　transformed　Karenin's　illness　into　a　pregnancy　and　the　drama　of　giving　birth　into　something　both　laughable　and　touching：　two　rolls　and　a　bee。
She　again　fell　prey　to　illogical　hopes。　She　got　out　of　bed　and　put　on　her　clothes。　Here；　too；　her　day　began　with　a　trip　to　the　shop　for　milk；　bread；　rolls。　But　when　she　called　Karenin　for　his　walk　that　morning；　he　barely　raised　his　head。　It　was　the　first　time　that　he　had　refused　to　take　part　in　the　ritual　he　himself　had　forced　upon　them。
She　went　off　without　him。　Where's　Karenin？　asked　the　woman　behind　the　counter；　who　had　Karenin's　roll　ready　as　usual。　Tereza　carried　it　home　herself　in　her　bag；　She　pulled　it　out　and　showed　it　to　him　while　still　in　the　doorway。　She　wanted　him　to　come　and　fetch　it。　But　he　just　lay　there　motionless。
Tomas　saw　how　unhappy　Tereza　was。　He　put　the　roll　in　his　mouth　and　dropped　down　on　all　fours　opposite　Karenin。　Then　he　slowly　crawled　up　to　him。
Karenin　followed　him　with　his　eyes；　which　seemed　to　show　a　glimmer　of　interest；　but　he　did　not　pick　himself　up。　Tomas　brought　his　face　right　up　to　his　muzzle。　Without　moving　his　body；　the　dog　took　the　end　of　the　roll　sticking　out　of　Tomas's　mouth　into　his　own。　Then　Tomas　let　go　of　his　end　so　that　Karenin　could　eat　it　all。
Still　on　all　fours；　Tomas　retreated　a　little；　arched　his　back；　and　started　yelping；　making　believe　he　wanted　to　fight　over　the　roll。　After　a　short　while；　the　dog　responded　with　some　yelps　of　his　own。　At　last！　What　they　were　hoping　for！　Karenin　feels　like　playing！　Karenin　hasn't　lost　the　will　to　live！
Those　yelps　were　Karenin's　smile；　and　they　wanted　it　to　last　as　long　as　possible。　So　Tomas　crawled　back　to　him　and　tore　off　the　end　of　the　roll　sticking　out　of　Karenin's　mouth。　Their　faces　were　so　close　that　Tomas　could　smell　the　dog's　breath；　feel　the　long　hairs　on　Karenin's　muzzle　tickling　him。　The　dog　gave　out　another　yelp　and　his　mouth　twitched；　now　they　each　had　half　a　roll　between　their　teeth。　Then　Karenin　made　an　old　tactical　error：　he　dropped　his　half　in　the　hope　of　seizing　the　half　in　his　master's　mouth；　forgetting；　as　always；　that　Tomas　was　not　a　dog　and　had　hands。　Without　letting　his　half　of　the　roll　out　of　his　mouth；　Tomas　picked　up　the　other　half　from　the　floor。
Tomas！　Tereza　cried。　You're　not　going　to　take　his　roll　away　from　him；　are　you？　
Tomas　laid　both　halves　on　the　floor　in　front　of　Karenin；　who　quickly　gulped　down　the　first　and　held　the　second　in　his　mouth　for　an　ostentatiously　long　time；　flaunting　his　victory　over　the　two　of　them。
Standing　there　watching　him；　they　thought　once　more　that　he　was　smiling　and　that　as　long　as　he　kept　smiling　he　had　a　motive　to　keep　living　despite　his　death　sentence。
The　next　day　his　condition　actually　appeared　to　have　improved。　They　had　lunch。　It　was　the　time　of　day　when　they　normally　took　him　out　for　a　walk。　His　habit　was　to　start　running　back　and　forth　between　them　restlessly。　On　that　day；　however；　Tereza　picked　up　the　leash　and　collar　only　to　be　stared　at　dully。　They　tried　to　look　cheerful　（for　and　about　him）　and　pep　him　up　a　bit；　and　after　a　long　wait　he　took　pity　on　them；　tottered　over　on　his　three　legs；　and　let　her　put　on　the　collar。
I　know　you　hate　the　camera；　Tereza；　said　Tomas；　but　take　it　along　today；　will　you？　
Tereza　went　and　opened　the　cupboard　to　rummage　for　the　long…abandoned；　long…forgotten　camera。　One　day　we'll　be　glad　to　have　the　pictures；　Tomas　went　on。　Karenin　has　been　an　important　part　of　our　life。　
What　do　you　mean；　'has　been'？　said　Tereza　as　if　she　had　been　bitten　by　a　snake。　The　camera　lay　directly　in　front　of　her　on　the　cupboard　floor；　but　she　would　not　bend　to　pick　it　up。　I　won't　take　it　along。　I　refuse　to　think　about　losing　Karenin。　And　you　refer　to　him　in　the　past　tense！　I'm　sorry；　said　Tomas。
That's　all　right；　said　Tereza　mildly。　I　catch　myself　thinking　about　him　in　the　past　tense　all　the　time。　I　keep　having　to　push　it　out　of　my　mind。　That's　why　I　won't　take　the　camera。　
They　walked　along　in　silence。　Silence　was　the　only　way　of　not　thinking　about　Karenin　in　the　past　tense。　They　did　not　let　him　out　of　their　sight；　they　were　with　him　constantly；　waiting　for　him　to　smile。　But　he　did　not　smile；　he　merely　walked　with　them；　limping　along　on　his　three　legs。
He's　just　doing　it　for　us；　said　Tereza。　He　didn't　want　to　go　for　a　walk。　He's　just　doing　it　to　make　us　happy。　
It　was　sad；　what　she　said；　yet　without　realizing　it　they　were　happy。　They　were　happy　not　in　spite　of　their　sadness　but　thanks　to　it。　They　were　holding　hands　and　both　had　the　same　image　in　their　eyes：　a　limping　dog　who　represented　ten　years　of　their　lives。
They　walked　a　bit　farther。　Then；　to　their　great　disappointment；　Karenin　stopped　and　turned。　They　had　to　go　back。
Perhaps　that　day　or　perhaps　the　next　Tereza　walked　in　on　Tomas　reading　a　letter。　Hearing　the　door　open；　he　slipped　it　in　among　some　other　papers；　but　she　saw　him　do　it。　On　her　way　out　of　the　room　she　also　noticed　him　stuffing　the　letter　into　his　pocket。　But　he　forgot　about　the　envelope。　As　soon　as　she　was　alone　in　the　house；　she　studied　it　carefully。　The　address　was　written　in　an　unfamiliar　hand；　but　it　was　very　neat　and　she　guessed　it　to　be　a　woman's。
When　he　came　back　later；　she　asked　him　nonchalantly　whether　the　mail　had　come。
No；　said　Tomas；　and　filled　Tereza　with　despair；　a　despair　all　the　worse　for　her　having　grown　unaccustomed　to　it。　No；　she　did　not　believe　he　had　a　secret　mistress　in　the　village。　That　was　all　but　impossible。　She　knew　what　he　did　with　every　spare　minute。　He　must　have　kept　up　with　a　woman　in　Prague　who　meant　so　much　to　him　that　he　thought　of　her　even　if　she　could　no　longer　leave　the　smell　of　her　groin　in　his　hair。　Tereza　did　not　believe　that　Tomas　meant　to　leave　her　for　the　woman；　but　the　happiness　of　their　two　years　in　the　country　now　seemed　besmirched　by　lies。
An　old　thought　came　back　to　her：　Her　home　was　Karenin；　not　Tomas。　Who　would　wind　the　clock　of　their　days　when　he　was　gone？
Transported　mentally　into　the　future；　a　future　without　Karenin；　Tereza　felt　abandoned。
Karenin　was　lying　in　a　corner　whimpering。　Tereza　went　out　into　the　garden。　She　looked　down　at　a　patch　of　grass　between　two　apple　trees　and　imagined　burying　Karenin　there。　She　dug　her　heel　into　the　earth　and　traced　a　rectangle　in　the　grass。　That　was　where　his　grave　would　be。
What　are　you　doing？　Tomas　asked；　surprising　her　just　as　she　had　surprised　him　reading　the　letter　a　few　hours　earlier。
She　gave　no　answer。　He　noticed　her　hands　trembling　for　the　first　time　in　many　months。　He　grabbed　hold　of　them。　She　pulled　away　from　him。
Is　that　a　grave　for　Karenin？　
She　did　not　answer。
Her　silence　grated　on　him。　He　exploded。　First　you　blame　me　for　thinking　of　him　in　the　past　tense；　and　then　what　do　you　do？　You　go　and　make　the　funeral　arrangements！　She　turned　her　back　on　him。
Tomas　retreated　into　his　room；　slamming　the　door　behind　him。
Tereza　went　in　and