the messengers(信使)-第2章
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with a message of glad tidings； Ainsley could not decide。 And even as he
begged her to enlighten him the last whistle blew； and a determined officer
ordered him to the ship's side。
〃Just as in everything that is beautiful；〃 he whispered eagerly； 〃I
always see something of you； so now in everything wonderful I will read
your message。 But；〃 he persisted； 〃how shall I be SURE？〃
The last bag of mail had shot into the hold； the most reluctant of the
visitors were being hustled down the last remaining gangplank。 Ainsley's
state was desperate。
〃Will it be in symbol； or in cipher？〃 he demanded。 〃Must I read it in
the sky； or will you hide it in a letter； orwhere？ Help me！ Give me just
a hint！〃
The girl shook her head。
〃You will read itin your heart；〃 she said。
From the end of the wharf Ainsley watched the funnels of the ship
disappear in the haze of the lower bay。 His heart was sore and heavy； but
in it there was still room for righteous indignation。 〃Read it in my heart！〃
he protested。 〃How the devil can I read it in my heart？ I want to read it
PRINTED in a cablegram。〃
Because he had always understood that young men in love found
solace for their misery in solitude and in communion with nature； he at
once drove his car to Lone Lake。 But his misery was quite genuine； and
the emptiness of the brick house only served to increase his loneliness。
He had built the house for her； though she had never visited it； and was
associated with it only through the somewhat indefinite medium of the
telephone box。 But in New York they had been much together。 And
Ainsley quickly decided that in revisiting those places where he had been
happy in her company he would derive from the recollection some
melancholy consolation。 He accordingly raced back through the night to
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the city； nor did he halt until he was at the door of her house。 She had
left it only that morning； and though it was locked in darkness； it still
spoke of her。 At least it seemed to bring her nearer to him than when he
was listening to the frogs in the lake； and crushing his way through the
pines。
He was not hungry； but he went to a restaurant where； when he was
host； she had often been the honored guest； and he pretended they were at
supper together and without a chaperon。 Either the illusion； or the supper
cheered him； for he was encouraged to go on to his club。 There in the
library； with the aid of an atlas； he worked out where； after thirteen hours
of moving at the rate of twenty…two knots an hour； she should be at that
moment。 Having determined that fact to his own satisfaction； he sent a
wireless after the ship。 It read： 〃It is now midnight and you are in
latitude 40 degrees north； longitude 68 degrees west； and I have grown old
and gray waiting for the sign。〃
The next morning； and for many days after； he was surprised to find
that the city went on as though she still were in it。 With unfeeling
regularity the sun rose out of the East River。 On Broadway electric…light
signs flashed； street…cars pursued each other； taxicabs bumped and skidded；
women； and even men； dared to look happy； and had apparently taken
some thought to their attire。 They did not respect even his widowerhood。
They smiled upon him； and asked him jocularly about the farm and his
〃crops；〃 and what he was doing in New York。 He pitied them； for
obviously they were ignorant of the fact that in New York there were art
galleries； shops； restaurants of great interest； owing to the fact that Polly
Kirkland had visited them。 They did not know that on upper Fifth
Avenue were houses of which she had deigned to approve； or which she
had destroyed with ridicule； and that to walk that avenue and halt before
each of these houses was an inestimable privilege。
Each day； with pathetic vigilance； Ainsley examined his heart for the
promised sign。 But so far from telling him that the change he longed for
had taken place； his heart grew heavier； and as weeks went by and no sign
appeared； what little confidence he had once enjoyed passed with them。
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But before hope entirely died； several false alarms had thrilled him
with happiness。 One was a cablegram from Gibraltar in which the only
words that were intelligible were 〃congratulate〃 and 〃engagement。〃 This
lifted him into an ecstasy of joy and excitement； until； on having the cable
company repeat the message； he learned it was a request from Miss
Kirkland to congratulate two mutual friends who had just announced their
engagement； and of whose address she was uncertain。 He had hardly
recovered from this disappointment than he was again thrown into a
tumult by the receipt of a mysterious package from the custom…house
containing an intaglio ring。 The ring came from Italy； and her ship had
touched at Genoa。 The fact that it was addressed in an unknown
handwriting did not disconcert him； for he argued that to make the test
more difficult she might disguise the handwriting。 He at once carried the
intaglio to an expert at the Metropolitan Museum； and when he was told
that it represented Cupid feeding a fire upon an altar； he reserved a
stateroom on the first steamer bound for the Mediterranean。 But before
his ship sailed； a letter； also from Italy； from his aunt Maria； who was
spending the winter in Rome； informed him that the ring was a Christmas
gift from her。 In his rage he unjustly condemned Aunt Maria as a
meddling old busybody； and gave her ring to the cook。
After two months of pilgrimages to places sacred to the memory of
Polly Kirkland； Ainsley found that feeding his love on post…mortems was
poor fare； and； in surrender； determined to evacuate New York。 Since her
departure he had received from Miss Kirkland several letters； but they
contained no hint of a change in her affections； and search them as he
might； he could find no cipher or hidden message。 They were merely
frank； friendly notes of travel； at first filled with gossip of the steamer； and
later telling of excursions around Cairo。 If they held any touch of feeling
they seemed to show that she was sorry for him； and as she could not
regard him in any way more calculated to increase his discouragement； he；
in utter hopelessness； retreated to the solitude of the farm。 In New York
he left behind him two trunks filled with such garments as a man would
need on board a steamer and in the early spring in Egypt。 They had been
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packed and in readiness since the day she sailed away； when she had told
him of the possible sign。 But there had been no sign。 Nor did he longer
believe in one。 So in the baggage…room of an hotel the trunks were
abandoned； accumulating layers of dust and charges for storage。
At the farm the snow still lay in the crevices of the rocks and beneath
the branches of the evergreens； but under the wet； dead leaves little
flowers had begun to show their faces。 The 〃backbone of the winter was
broken〃 and spring was in the air。 But as Ainsley was certain that his
heart also was broken； the signs of spring did not console him。 At each
week…end he filled the house with people； but they found him gloomy and
he found them dull。 He liked better the solitude of the midweek days。
Then for hours he would tramp through the woods； pretending she was at
his side； pretending he was helping her across the streams swollen with
winter rains and melted snow。 On these excursions he cut down trees
that hid a view he thought she would have liked； he cut paths over which
she might have walked。 Or he sat idly in a flat… bottomed scow in the
lake and made a pretence of fishing。 The loneliness of the lake and the
isolation of the boat suited his humor。 He did not find it true that misery
loves company。 At least to human beings he preferred his companions of
Lone Lakethe beaver building his home among the reeds； the kingfisher；
the blue heron； the wild fowl that in their flight north rested for an hour or
a day upon the peaceful waters。 He looked upon them as his guests； and
when they spread their wings and left him again alone he felt he had been
hardly used。
It was while he was sunk in this state of melancholy； and some months
after Miss Kirkland had sailed to Egypt； that hope returned。
For a week…end he had invited Holden and Lowell； two former
classmates； and Nelson Mortimer and his bride。 They were all old
friends of their host and well acquainted with the cause of his
discouragement。 So they did not ask to be entertained； but； disregarding
him； amused themselves after their own fashion。 It was late Friday
afternoon。 The members of the house…party had just returned from a
tramp through the woods and had joined Ainsley on the terrace； where he
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stood watching the last rays of the sun leave the lake in darkness。 All
through the day there had been sharp splashes of rain with the clouds dull
and forbidding； but now the s
