chitra(西特拉)-第4章
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as death。 She can pierce any target she will； but not our hero's heart。
Arjuna
They say that in valour she is a man； and a woman in tenderness。
Chitra
That； indeed； is her greatest misfortune。 When a woman is merely a
woman； when she winds herself round and round men's hearts with her
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smiles and sobs and services and caressing endearments； then she is happy。
Of what use to her are learning and great achievements？ Could you have
seen her only yesterday in the court of the Lord Shiva's temple by the
forest path； you would have passed by without deigning to look at her。 But
have you grown so weary of woman's beauty that you seek in her for a
man's strength？
With green leaves wet from the spray of the foaming waterfall； I have
made our noonday bed in a cavern dark as night。 There the cool of the soft
green mosses thick on the black and dripping stone； kisses your eyes to
sleep。 Let me guide you thither。
Arjuna
Not today； beloved。
Chitra
Why not today？
Arjuna
I have heard that a horde of robbers has neared the plains。 Needs must
I go and prepare my weapons to protect the frightened villagers。
Chitra
You need have no fear for them。 Before she started on her pilgrimage；
Princess Chitra had set strong guards at all the frontier passes。
Arjuna
Yet permit me for a short while to set about a Kshatriya's work。 With
new glory will I ennoble this idle arm； and make of it a pillow more
worthy of your head。
Chitra
What if I refuse to let you go； if I keep you entwined in my arms？
Would you rudely snatch yourself free and leave me？ Go then！ But you
must know that the liana； once broken in two； never joins again。 Go； if
your thirst is quenched。 But； if not； then remember that the goddess of
pleasure is fickle； and waits for no man。 Sit for a while； my lord！ Tell me
what uneasy thoughts tease you。 Who occupied your mind today？ Is it
Chitra？
Arjuna
Yes； it is Chitra。 I wonder in fulfilment of what vow she has gone on
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her pilgrimage。 Of what could she stand in need？
Chitra
Her needs？ Why； what has she ever had； the unfortunate creature？ Her
very qualities are as prison walls； shutting her woman's heart in a bare cell。
She is obscured； she is unfulfilled。 Her womanly love must content itself
dressed in rags； beauty is denied her。 She is like the spirit of a cheerless
morning； sitting upon the stony mountain peak； all her light blotted out by
dark clouds。 Do not ask me of her life。 It will never sound sweet to man's
ear。
Arjuna
I am eager to learn all about her。 I am like a traveller come to a strange
city at midnight。 Domes and towers and garden…trees look vague and
shadowy； and the dull moan of the sea comes fitfully through the silence
of sleep。 Wistfully he waits for the morning to reveal to him all the strange
wonders。 Oh； tell me her story。
Chitra
What more is there to tell？
Arjuna
I seem to see her； in my mind's eye； riding on a white horse； proudly
holding the reins in her left hand； and in her right a bow； and like the
Goddess of Victory dispensing glad hope all round her。 Like a watchful
lioness she protects the litter at her dugs with a fierce love。 Woman's arms；
though adorned with naught but unfettered strength； are beautiful！ My
heart is restless； fair one； like a serpent reviving from his long winter's
sleep。 Come； let us both race on swift horses side by side； like twin orbs of
light sweeping through space。 Out from this slumbrous prison of green
gloom； this dank； dense cover of perfumed intoxication； choking breath。
Chitra
Arjuna； tell me true； if； now at once； by some magic I could shake
myself free from this voluptuous softness； this timid bloom of beauty
shrinking from the rude and healthy touch of the world； and fling it from
my body like borrowed clothes； would you be able to bear it？ If I stand up
straight and strong with the strength of a daring heart spurning the wiles
and arts of twining weakness； if I hold my head high like a tall young
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mountain fir； no longer trailing in the dust like a liana； shall I then appeal
to man's eye？ No； no； you could not endure it。 It is better that I should
keep spread about me all the dainty playthings of fugitive youth； and wait
for you in patience。 When it pleases you to return； I will smilingly pour
out for you the wine of pleasure in the cup of this beauteous body。 When
you are tired and satiated with this wine； you can go to work or play； and
when I grow old I will accept humbly and gratefully whatever corner is
left for me。 Would it please your heroic soul if the playmate of the night
aspired to be the helpmeet of the day； if the left arm learnt to share the
burden of the proud right arm？
Arjuna
I never seem to know you aright。 You seem to me like a goddess
hidden within a golden image。 I cannot touch you； I cannot pay you my
dues in return for your priceless gifts。 Thus my love is incomplete。
Sometimes in the enigmatic depth of your sad look； in your playful words
mocking at their own meaning； I gain glimpses of a being trying to rend
asunder the languorous grace of her body； to emerge in a chaste fire of
pain through a vaporous veil of smiles。 Illusion is the first appearance of
Truth。 She advances towards her lover in disguise。 But a time comes when
she throws off her ornaments and veils and stands clothed in naked dignity。
I grope for that ultimate you； that bare simplicity of truth。
Why these tears； my love？ Why cover your face with your hands？
Have I pained you； my darling？ Forget what I said。 I will be content with
the present。 Let each separate moment of beauty come to me like a bird of
mystery from its unseen nest in the dark bearing a message of music。 Let
me for ever sit with my hope on the brink of its realization； and thus end
my days。
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SCENE IX
CHITRA and ARJUNA
Chitra ＇cloaked＇
My lord； has the cup been drained to the last drop？ Is this； indeed； the
end？ No； when all is done something still remains； and that is my last
sacrifice at your feet。
I brought from the garden of heaven flowers of incomparable beauty
with which to worship you； god of my heart。 If the rites are over； if the
flowers have faded； let me throw them out of the temple ＇unveiling in her
original male attire＇。 Now； look at your worshipper with gracious eyes。
I am not beautifully perfect as the flowers with which I worshipped。 I
have many flaws and blemishes。 I am a traveller in the great world…path；
my garments are dirty； and my feet are bleeding with thorns。 Where should
I achieve flower…beauty； the unsullied loveliness of a moment's life？ The
gift that I proudly bring you is the heart of a woman。 Here have all pains
and joys gathered； the hopes and fears and shames of a daughter of the
dust； here love springs up struggling toward immortal life。 Herein lies an
imperfection which yet is noble and grand。 If the flower…service is finished；
my master； accept this as your servant for the days to come！
I am Chitra； the king's daughter。 Perhaps you will remember the day
when a woman came to you in the temple of Shiva； her body loaded with
ornaments and finery。 That shameless woman came to court you as though
she were a man。 You rejected her； you did well。 My lord； I am that woman。
She was my disguise。 Then by the boon of gods I obtained for a year the
most radiant form that a mortal ever wore； and wearied my hero's heart
with the burden of that deceit。 Most surely I am not that woman。
I am Chitra。 No goddess to be worshipped； nor yet the object of
common pity to be brushed aside like a moth with indifference。 If you
deign to keep me by your side in the path of danger and daring； if you
allow me to share the great duties of your life； then you will know my true
self。 If your babe； whom I am nourishing in my womb be born a son； I
shall myself teach him to be a second Arjuna； and send him to you when
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the time comes； and then at last you will truly know me。 Today I can only
offer you Chitra； the daughter of a king。
Arjuna
Beloved； my life is full。
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