cranford(克兰弗德)-第12章
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surprise； for she had not been to see Miss Matilda for two days。
〃And now I must go back with you； my dear； for I promised to let
her know how Thomas Holbrook went on； and； I'm sorry to say； his
housekeeper has sent me word to…day that he hasn't long to live。 Poor
Thomas！ that journey to Paris was quite too much for him。 His
housekeeper says he has hardly ever been round his fields since； but just
sits with his hands on his knees in the counting…house； not reading or
anything； but only saying what a wonderful city Paris was！ Paris has
much to answer for if it's killed my cousin Thomas； for a better man
never lived。〃
〃Does Miss Matilda know of his illness？〃 asked I … a new light as to
the cause of her indisposition dawning upon me。
〃Dear！ to be sure； yes！ Has not she told you？ I let her know a
fortnight ago； or more； when first I heard of it。 How odd she shouldn't
have told you！〃
Not at all； I thought； but I did not say anything。 I felt almost guilty
of having spied too curiously into that tender heart； and I was not going
to speak of its secrets … hidden； Miss Matty believed； from all the world。
I ushered Miss Pole into Miss Matilda's little drawing…room； and then
left them alone。 But I was not surprised when Martha came to my
bedroom door； to ask me to go down to dinner alone； for that missus had
one of her bad headaches。 She came into the drawing…room at tea…time；
but it was evidently an effort to her； and； as if to make up for some
reproachful feeling against her late sister； Miss Jenkyns； which had been
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troubling her all the afternoon； and for which she now felt penitent； she
kept telling me how good and how clever Deborah was in her youth；
how she used to settle what gowns they were to wear at all the parties
（faint； ghostly ideas of grim parties； far away in the distance； when Miss
Matty and Miss Pole were young！）； and how Deborah and her mother
had started the benefit society for the poor； and taught girls cooking and
plain sewing； and how Deborah had once danced with a lord； and how
she used to visit at Sir Peter Arley's； and tried to remodel the quiet
rectory establishment on the plans of Arley Hall； where they kept thirty
servants； and how she had nursed Miss Matty through a long； long
illness； of which I had never heard before； but which I now dated in my
own mind as following the dismissal of the suit of Mr Holbrook。 So
we talked softly and quietly of old times through the long November
evening。
The next day Miss Pole brought us word that Mr Holbrook was dead。
Miss Matty heard the news in silence； in fact； from the account of the
previous day； it was only what we had to expect。 Miss Pole kept
calling upon us for some expression of regret； by asking if it was not sad
that he was gone； and saying …
〃To think of that pleasant day last June； when he seemed so well！
And he might have lived this dozen years if he had not gone to that
wicked Paris； where they are always having revolutions。〃
She paused for some demonstration on our part。 I saw Miss Matty
could not speak； she was trembling so nervously； so I said what I really
felt； and after a call of some duration … all the time of which I have no
doubt Miss Pole thought Miss Matty received the news very calmly … our
visitor took her leave。
Miss Matty made a strong effort to conceal her feelings … a
concealment she practised even with me； for she has never alluded to Mr
Holbrook again； although the book he gave her lies with her Bible on the
little table by her bedside。 She did not think I heard her when she
asked the little milliner of Cranford to make her caps something like the
Honourable Mrs Jamieson's； or that I noticed the reply …
〃But she wears widows' caps； ma'am？〃
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〃Oh！ I only meant something in that style； not widows'； of course；
but rather like Mrs Jamieson's。〃
This effort at concealment was the beginning of the tremulous
motion of head and hands which I have seen ever since in Miss Matty。
The evening of the day on which we heard of Mr Holbrook's death；
Miss Matilda was very silent and thoughtful； after prayers she called
Martha back and then she stood uncertain what to say。
〃Martha！〃 she said； at last； 〃you are young〃 … and then she made so
long a pause that Martha； to remind her of her half…finished sentence；
dropped a curtsey； and said …
〃Yes； please； ma'am； two…and…twenty last third of October； please；
ma'am。〃
〃And； perhaps； Martha； you may some time meet with a young man
you like； and who likes you。 I did say you were not to have followers；
but if you meet with such a young man； and tell me； and I find he is
respectable； I have no objection to his coming to see you once a week。
God forbid！〃 said she in a low voice； 〃that I should grieve any young
hearts。〃 She spoke as if she were providing for some distant
contingency； and was rather startled when Martha made her ready eager
answer …
〃Please； ma'am； there's Jem Hearn； and he's a joiner making three…
and…sixpence a…day； and six foot one in his stocking…feet； please； ma'am；
and if you'll ask about him to…morrow morning； every one will give him
a character for steadiness； and he'll be glad enough to come to…morrow
night； I'll be bound。〃
Though Miss Matty was startled； she submitted to Fate and Love。
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CHAPTER V … OLD LETTERS
I HAVE often noticed that almost every one has his own individual
small economies … careful habits of saving fractions of pennies in some
one peculiar direction … any disturbance of which annoys him more than
spending shillings or pounds on some real extravagance。 An old
gentleman of my acquaintance； who took the intelligence of the failure
of a Joint…Stock Bank； in which some of his money was invested； with
stoical mildness； worried his family all through a long summer's day
because one of them had torn （instead of cutting） out the written leaves
of his now useless bank…book； of course； the corresponding pages at the
other end came out as well； and this little unnecessary waste of paper
（his private economy） chafed him more than all the loss of his money。
Envelopes fretted his soul terribly when they first came in； the only way
in which he could reconcile himself to such waste of his cherished
article was by patiently turning inside out all that were sent to him； and
so making them serve again。 Even now； though tamed by age； I see
him casting wistful glances at his daughters when they send a whole
inside of a half…sheet of note paper； with the three lines of acceptance to
an invitation； written on only one of the sides。 I am not above owning
that I have this human weakness myself。 String is my foible。 My
pockets get full of little hanks of it； picked up and twisted together；
ready for uses that never come。 I am seriously annoyed if any one cuts
the string of a parcel instead of patiently and faithfully undoing it fold by
fold。 How people can bring themselves to use india…rubber rings；
which are a sort of deification of string； as lightly as they do； I cannot
imagine。 To me an india…rubber ring is a precious treasure。 I have
one which is not new … one that I picked up off the floor nearly six years
ago。 I have really tried to use it； but my heart failed me； and I could
not commit the extravagance。
Small pieces of butter grieve others。 They cannot attend to
conversation because of the annoyance occasioned by the habit which
some people have of invariably taking more butter than they want。
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Have you not seen the anxious look （almost mesmeric） which such
persons fix on the article？ They would feel it a relief if they might bury
it out of their sight by popping it into their own mouths and swallowing
it down； and they are really made happy if the person on whose plate it
lies unused suddenly breaks off a piece of toast （which he does not want
at all） and eats up his butter。 They think that this is not waste。
Now Miss Matty Jenkyns was chary of candles。 We had many
devices to use as few as possible。 In the winter afternoons she would
sit knitting for two or three hours … she could do this in the dark； or by
firelight … and when I asked if I might not r
