resurrection(复活)-第29章

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leaning　close　to　the　net；　stood　a　young　peasant；　with　a　fair
beard　and　a　flushed　face；　keeping　back　his　tears　with　difficulty。
A　pretty；　fair…haired　prisoner；　with　bright　blue　eyes；　was
speaking　to　him。　These　two　were　Theodosia　and　her　husband。　Next
to　them　was　a　tramp；　talking　to　a　broad…faced　woman；　then　two
women；　then　a　man；　then　again　a　woman；　and　in　front　of　each　a
prisoner。　Maslova　was　not　among　them。　But　some　one　stood　by　the
window　behind　the　prisoners；　and　Nekhludoff　knew　it　was　she。　His
heart　began　to　beat　faster；　and　his　breath　stopped。　The　decisive
moment　was　approaching。　He　went　up　to　the　part　of　the　net　where
he　could　see　the　prisoner；　and　recognised　her　at　once。　She　stood
behind　the　blue…eyed　Theodosia；　and　smiled；　listening　to　what
Theodosia　was　saying。　She　did　not　wear　the　prison　cloak　now；　but
a　white　dress；　tightly　drawn　in　at　the　waist　by　a　belt；　and　very
full　in　the　bosom。　From　under　her　kerchief　appeared　the　black
ringlets　of　her　fringe；　just　the　same　as　in　the　court。

〃Now；　in　a　moment　it　will　be　decided；〃　he　thought。

〃How　shall　I　call　her？　Or　will　she　come　herself？〃

〃She　was　expecting　Bertha；　that　this　man　had　come　to　see　her
never　entered　her　head。

〃Whom　do　you　want？〃　said　the　warder　who　was　walking　between　the
nets；　coming　up　to　Nekhludoff。

〃Katerina　Maslova；〃　Nekhludoff　uttered；　with　difficulty。

〃Katerina　Maslova；　some　one　to　see　you；〃　cried　the　warder。


CHAPTER　XLIII。

NEKHLUDOFF　VISITS　MASLOVA。

Maslova　looked　round；　and　with　head　thrown　back　and　expanded
chest；　came　up　to　the　net　with　that　expression　of　readiness　which
he　well　knew；　pushed　in　between　two　prisoners；　and　gazed　at
Nekhludoff　with　a　surprised　and　questioning　look。　But；　concluding
from　his　clothing　he　was　a　rich　man；　she　smiled。

〃Is　it　me　you　want？〃　she　asked；　bringing　her　smiling　face；　with
the　slightly　squinting　eyes；　nearer　the　net。

〃I；　II　wished　to　see　〃Nekhludoff　did　not　know　how　to　address
her。　〃I　wished　to　see　youI〃　He　was　not　speaking　louder　than
usual。

〃No；　nonsense；　I　tell　you！〃　shouted　the　tramp　who　stood　next　to
him。　〃Have　you　taken　it　or　not？〃

〃Dying；　I　tell　you；　what　more　do　you　want？〃　some　one　else　was
screaming　at　his　other　side。　Maslova　could　not　hear　what
Nekhludoff　was　saying；　but　the　expression　of　his　face　as　he　was
speaking　reminded　her　of　him。　She　did　not　believe　her　own　eyes；
still　the　smile　vanished　from　her　face　and　a　deep　line　of
suffering　appeared　on　her　brow。

〃I　cannot　hear　what　you　are　saying；〃　she　called　out；　wrinkling
her　brow　and　frowning　more　and　more。

〃I　have　come；〃　said　Nekhludoff。　〃Yes；　I　am　doing　my　dutyI　am
confessing；〃　thought　Nekhludoff；　and　at　this　thought　the　tears
came　in　his　eyes；　and　he　felt　a　choking　sensation　in　his　throat；
and　holding　on　with　both　hands　to　the　net；　he　made　efforts　to
keep　from　bursting　into　tears。

〃I　say；　why　do　you　shove　yourself　in　where　you're　not　wanted？〃
some　one　shouted　at　one　side　of　him。

〃God　is　my　witness；　I　know　nothing；〃　screamed　a　prisoner　from　the
other　side。

Noticing　his　excitement；　Maslova　recognised　him。

〃You're　like　。　。　。　but　no；　I　don't　know　you；〃　she　shouted；
without　looking　at　him；　and　blushing；　while　her　face　grew　still
more　stern。

〃I　have　come　to　ask　you　to　forgive　me；〃　he　said；　in　a　loud　but
monotonous　voice；　like　a　lesson　learnt　by　heart。　Having　said
these　words　he　became　confused；　but　immediately　came　the　thought
that；　if　he　felt　ashamed；　it　was　all　the　better；　he　had　to　bear
this　shame；　and　he　continued　in　a　loud　voice：

〃Forgive　me；　I　have　wronged　you　terribly。〃

She　stood　motionless　and　without　taking　her　squinting　eyes　off
him。

He　could　not　continue　to　speak；　and　stepping　away　from　the　net　he
tried　to　suppress　the　sobs　that　were　choking　him。

The　inspector；　the　same　officer　who　had　directed　Nekhludoff　to
the　women's　ward；　and　whose　interest　he　seemed　to　have　aroused；
came　into　the　room；　and；　seeing　Nekhludoff　not　at　the　net；　asked
him　why　he　was　not　talking　to　her　whom　he　wanted　to　see。
Nekhludoff　blew　his　nose；　gave　himself　a　shake；　and；　trying　to
appear　calm；　said：

〃It's　so　inconvenient　through　these　nets；　nothing　can　be　heard。〃

Again　the　inspector　considered　for　a　moment。

〃Ah；　well；　she　can　be　brought　out　here　for　awhile。　Mary
Karlovna；〃　turning　to　the　warder；　〃lead　Maslova　out。〃

A　minute　later　Maslova　came　out　of　the　side　door。　Stepping
softly；　she　came　up　close　to　Nekhludoff；　stopped；　and　looked　up
at　him　from　under　her　brows。　Her　black　hair　was　arranged　in
ringlets　over　her　forehead　in　the　same　way　as　it　had　been　two
days　ago；　her　face；　though　unhealthy　and　puffy；　was　attractive；
and　looked　perfectly　calm；　only　the　glittering　black　eyes　glanced
strangely　from　under　the　swollen　lids。

〃You　may　talk　here；〃　said　the　inspector；　and　shrugging　his
shoulders　he　stepped　aside　with　a　look　of　surprise。　Nekhludoff
moved　towards　a　seat　by　the　wall。

Maslova　cast　a　questioning　look　at　the　inspector；　and　then；
shrugging　her　shoulders　in　surprise；　followed　Nekhludoff　to　the
bench；　and　having　arranged　her　skirt；　sat　down　beside　him。

〃I　know　it　is　hard　for　you　to　forgive　me；〃　he　began；　but　stopped。
His　tears　were　choking　him。　〃But　though　I　can't　undo　the　past；　I
shall　now　do　what　is　in　my　power。　Tell　me〃

〃How　have　you　managed　to　find　me？〃　she　said；　without　answering
his　question；　neither　looking　away　from　him　nor　quite　at　him；
with　her　squinting　eyes。

〃O　God；　help　me！　Teach　me　what　to　do；〃　Nekhludoff　thought；
looking　at　her　changed　face。　〃I　was　on　the　jury　the　day　before
yesterday；〃　he　said。　〃You　did　not　recognise　me？〃

〃No；　I　did　not；　there　was　not　time　for　recognitions。　I　did　not
even　look；〃　she　said。

〃There　was　a　child；　was　there　not？〃　he　asked。

〃Thank　God！　he　died　at　once；〃　she　answered；　abruptly　and
viciously。

〃What　do　you　mean？　Why？〃

〃I　was　so　ill　myself；　I　nearly　died；〃　she　said；　in　the　same　quiet
voice；　which　Nekhludoff　had　not　expected　and　could　not
understand。

〃How　could　my　aunts　have　let　you　go？〃

〃Who　keeps　a　servant　that　has　a　baby？　They　sent　me　off　as　soon　as
they　noticed。　But　why　speak　of　this？　I　remember　nothing。　That's
all　finished。〃

〃No；　it　is　not　finished；　I　wish　to　redeem　my　sin。〃

〃There's　nothing　to　redeem。　What's　been　has　been　and　is　passed；〃
she　said；　and；　what　he　never　expected；　she　looked　at　him　and
smiled　in　an　unpleasantly　luring；　yet　piteous；　manner。

Maslova　never　expected　to　see　him　again；　and　certainly　not　here
and　not　now；　therefore；　when　she　first　recognised　him；　she　could
not　keep　back　the　memories　which　she　never　wished　to　revive。　In
the　first　moment　she　remembered　dimly　that　new；　wonderful　world
of　feeling　and　of　thought　which　had　been　opened　to　her　by　the
charming　young　man　who　loved　her　and　whom　she　loved；　and　then　his
incomprehensible　cruelty　and　the　whole　string　of　humiliations　and
suffering　which　flowed　from　and　followed　that　magic　joy。　This
gave　her　pain；　and；　unable　to　understand　it；　she　did　what　she　was
always　in　the　habit　of　doing；　she　got　rid　of　these　memories　by
enveloping　them　in　the　mist　of　a　depraved　life。　In　the　first
moment；　she　associated　the　man　now　sitting　beside　her　with　the
lad　she　had　loved；　but　feeling　that　this　gave　her　pain；　she
dissociated　them　again。　Now；　this　well…dressed；　carefully…got…up
gentleman　with　perfumed　beard　was　no　longer　the　Nekhludoff　whom
she　had　loved　but　only　one　of　the　people　who　made　use　of
creatures　like　herself　when　they　needed　them；　and　whom　creatures
like　herself　had　to　make　use　of　in　their　turn　as　profitably　as
they　could；　and　that　is　why　she　looked　at　him　with　a　luring　smile
and　considered　silently　how　she　could　best　make　use　of　him。

〃That's　all　at　an　end；〃　she　said。　〃Now　I'm　condemned　to　Siberia；〃
and　her　lip　trembled　as　she　was　saying　this　dreadful　word。

〃I　knew；　I　was　certain　you　were　not　guilty；〃　said　Nekhludoff。

〃Guilty！　of　course　not；　as　if　I　could　be　a　thief　or　a　robber。〃
She　stopped；　considering　in　what　way　she　could　best　get　something
out　of　him。

〃They　say　here　that　all　depends　on　the　advocate；〃　she　began。　〃A
petition　should　be　handed　in；　only　they　say　it's　expensive。〃

〃Yes；　most　certainly；〃　said　Nekhludoff。　〃I　have　already　spoken　to
an　advocate。〃

〃No　money　ought　to　be　spared；　it　should　be　a　good　one；〃　she　said。

〃I　shall　do　all　that　is　possible。〃

They　were　silent；　and　then　she　smiled　again　in　the　same　way。

〃And　I　should　like　to　ask　you　。　。　。　a　little　money　if　you　can　。　。
。　not　much；　ten　roubles；　I　do　not　want　more；〃　she　said；　suddenly。

〃Yes；　yes；〃　Nekhludoff　said；　with　a　sense　of　confusion；　and　felt
for　his　purse。

She　looked　rapidly　at　the　inspector；　who　was　walking　up　and　down
the　room。　〃Don't　give　it　in　front　of　him；　he'd　take　it　away。〃

Nekhludoff　took　out　his　purse　as　soon　as　the　inspector　had　turned
his　back；　but　had　no　time　to　hand　her　the　note　before　the
inspector　faced　them　again；　so　he　crushed　it　up　in　his　hand。

〃This　woman　is　dead；〃　Nekhludoff　thought；　looking　at　this　once
sweet；　and　now　defiled；　puffy　face；　lit　up　by　an　evil　glitter　in
the　black；　squinting　eyes　which　were　now　glancing　at　the　hand　in
which　he　held　the　note；　then　following　the　inspector's　movements；
and　for　a　moment　he　hesitated。　The　tempter　that　had　been　speaking
to　him　in　the　night　again　raised　its　voice；　trying　to　lead　him
out　of　the　realm　of　his　inner　into　the　realm　of　his　outer　life；
away　from　the　question　of　what　he　should　do　to　the　question　of
what　the　consequences　would　be；　and　what　would　he　practical。

〃You　can　do　nothing　with　this　woman；〃　said　the　voice；　〃you　will
only　tie　a　stone　round　your　neck；　which　will　help　to　drown　you
and　hinder　you　from　being　useful　to　others。

Is　it　not　better　to　give　her　all　the　money　that　is　here；　say
good…bye；　and　finish　with　her　forever？〃　whispered　the　voice。

But　here　he　felt　that　now；　at　this　very　moment；　something　most
important　was　taking　place　in　his　soulthat　his　inner　life　was；
as　it　were；　wavering　in　the　balance；　so　that　the　slightest　effort
would　make　it　sink　to　this　side　or　the　other。　And　he　made　this
effort　by　calling　to　his　assistance　that　God　whom　he　had　felt　in
his　soul　the　day　before；　and　that　God　instantly　responded。　He
resolved　to　tell　her　everything　nowat　once。

〃Katusha；　I　have　come　to　ask　you　to　forgive　me；　and　you　have
given　me　no　answer。　Have　you　forgiven　me？　Will　you　ever　forgive
me？〃　he　asked。

She　did　not　listen　to　him；　but　looked　at　his　hand　and　at　the
inspector；　and　when　the　latter　turned　she　hastily　stretched　out
her　hand；　grasped　the　note；　and　hid　it　under　her　belt。

〃That's　odd；　what　you　are　saying　there；〃　she　said；　with　a　smile
of　contempt；　as　it　seemed　to　him。

Nekhludoff　felt　that　there　was　in　her　soul　one　who　was　his　enemy
and　who　was　protecting　her；　such　as　she　was　now；　and　preventing
him　from　getting　at　her　heart。　But；　strange　to　say；　this　did　not
repel　him；　but　drew　him　nearer　to　her　by　some　fresh；　peculiar
power。　He　knew　that　he　must　waken　her　soul；　that　this　was
terribly　difficult；　but　the　very　difficulty　attracted　him。　He　now
felt　towards　her　as　he　had　never　felt　towards　her　or　any　one　else
before。　There　was　nothing　personal　in　this　feeling：　he　wanted
nothing　from　her　for　himself；　but　only　wished　that　she　might　not
remain　a