resurrection(复活)-第57章

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French　Theatre　to…morrow　night。〃

〃Ah！　And　have　you　seen　thatWhat's　her　name？〃　asked　Countess
Katerina　Ivanovna。　Mariette　gave　the　name　of　a　celebrated　French
actress。

〃You　must　go；　most　decidedly；　she　is　wonderful。〃

〃Whom　am　I　to　see　first；　ma　tantethe　actress　or　the　preacher？〃
Nekhludoff　said　with　a　smile。

〃Please　don't　catch　at　my　words。〃

〃I　should　think　the　preacher　first　and　then　the　actress；　or　else
the　desire　for　the　sermon　might　vanish　altogether；〃　said
Nekhludoff。

〃No；　better　begin　with　the　French　Theatre；　and　do　penance
afterwards。〃

〃Now；　then；　you　are　not　to　hold　me　up　for　ridicule。　The　preacher
is　the　preacher　and　the　theatre　is　the　theatre。　One　need　not　weep
in　order　to　be　saved。　One　must　have　faith；　and　then　one　is　sure
to　be　gay。〃

〃You；　ma　tante；　preach　better　than　any　preacher。〃

〃Do　you　know　what？〃　said　Mariette。　〃Come　into　my　box　to…morrow。〃

〃I　am　afraid　I　shall　not　be　able　to。〃

The　footman　interrupted　the　conversation　by　announcing　a　visitor。
It　was　the　secretary　of　a　philanthropic　society　of　which　the
Countess　was　president。

〃Oh；　that　is　the　dullest　of　men。　I　think　I　shall　receive　him　out
there；　and　return　to　you　later　on。　Mariette；　give　him　his　tea；〃
said　the　Countess；　and　left　the　room；　with　her　quick；　wriggling
walk。

Mariette　took　the　glove　off　her　firm；　rather　flat　hand；　the
fourth　finger　of　which　was　covered　with　rings。

〃Want　any？〃　she　said；　taking　hold　of　the　silver　teapot；　under
which　a　spirit　lamp　was　burning；　and　extending　her　little　finger
curiously。　Her　face　looked　sad　and　serious。

〃It　is　always　terribly　painful　to　me　to　notice　that　people　whose
opinion　I　value　confound　me　with　the　position　I　am　placed　in。〃
She　seemed　ready　to　cry　as　she　said　these　last　words。　And　though
these　words　had　no　meaning；　or　at　any　rate　a　very　indefinite
meaning；　they　seemed　to　be　of　exceptional　depth；　meaning；　or
goodness　to　Nekhludoff；　so　much　was　he　attracted　by　the　look　of
the　bright　eyes　which　accompanied　the　words　of　this　young；
beautiful；　and　well…dressed　woman。

Nekhludoff　looked　at　her　in　silence；　and　could　not　take　his　eyes
from　her　face。

〃You　think　I　do　not　understand　you　and　all　that　goes　on　in　you。
Why；　everybody　knows　what　you　are　doing。　C'est　le　secret　de
polichinelle。　And　I　am　delighted　with　your　work；　and　think　highly
of　you。〃

〃Really；　there　is　nothing　to　be　delighted　with；　and　I　have　done
so　little　as　Yet。〃

〃No　matter。　I　understand　your　feelings；　and　I　understand　her。
All　right；　all　right。　I　will　say　nothing　more　about　it；〃　she
said；　noticing　displeasure　on　his　face。　〃But　I　also　understand
that　after　seeing　all　the　suffering　and　the　horror　in　the
prisons；〃　Mariette　went　on；　her　only　desire　that　of　attracting
him；　and　guessing　with　her　woman's　instinct　what　was　dear　and
important　to　him；　〃you　wish　to　help　the　sufferers；　those　who　are
made　to　suffer　so　terribly　by　other　men；　and　their　cruelty　and
indifference。　I　understand　the　willingness　to　give　one's　life；
and　could　give　mine　in　such　a　cause；　but　we　each　have　our　own
fate。〃

〃Are　you；　then；　dissatisfied　with　your　fate？〃

〃I？〃　she　asked；　as　if　struck　with　surprise　that　such　a　question
could　be　put　to　her。　〃I　have　to　be　satisfied；　and　am　satisfied。
But　there　is　a　worm　that　wakes　up〃

〃And　he　must　not　be　allowed　to　fall　asleep　again。　It　is　a　voice
that　must　he　obeyed；〃　Nekhludoff　said；　failing　into　the　trap。

Many　a　time　later　on　Nekhludoff　remembered　with　shame　his　talk
with　her。　He　remembered　her　words；　which　were　not　so　much　lies　as
imitations　of　his　own；　and　her　face；　which　seemed　looking　at　him
with　sympathetic　attention　when　he　told　her　about　the　terrors　of
the　prison　and　of　his　impressions　in　the　country。

When　the　Countess　returned　they　were　talking　not　merely　like　old；
but　like　exclusive　friends　who　alone　understood　one　another。　They
were　talking　about　the　injustice　of　power；　of　the　sufferings　of
the　unfortunate；　the　poverty　of　the　people；　yet　in　reality　in　the
midst　of　the　sound　of　their　talk　their　eyes；　gazing　at　each
other；　kept　asking；　〃Can　you　love　me？〃　and　answering；　〃I　can；〃
and　the　sex…feeling；　taking　the　most　unexpected　and　brightest
forms；　drew　them　to　each　other。　As　she　was　going　away　she　told
him　that　she　would　always　he　willing　to　serve　him　in　any　way　she
could；　and　asked　him　to　come　and　see　her；　if　only　for　a　moment；
in　the　theatre　next　day；　as　she　had　a　very　important　thing　to
tell　him　about。

〃Yes；　and　when　shall　I　see　you　again？〃　she　added；　with　a　sigh；
carefully　drawing　the　glove　over　her　jewelled　hand。

〃Say　you　will　come。〃

Nekhludoff　promised。

That　night；　when　Nekhludoff　was　alone　in　his　room；　and　lay　down
after　putting　out　his　candle；　he　could　not　sleep。　He　thought　of
Maslova；　of　the　decision　of　the　Senate；　of　his　resolve　to　follow
her　in　any　case；　of　his　having　given　up　the　land。　The　face　of
Mariette　appeared　to　him　as　if　in　answer　to　those　thoughtsher
look；　her　sigh；　her　words；　〃When　shall　I　see　you　again？〃　and　her
smile　seemed　vivid　as　if　he　really　saw　her；　and　he　also　smiled。
〃Shall　I　be　doing　right　in　going　to　Siberia？　And　have　I　done
right　in　divesting　myself　of　my　wealth？〃　And　the　answers　to　the
questions　on　this　Petersburg　night；　on　which　the　daylight
streamed　into　the　window　from　under　the　blind；　were　quite
indefinite。　All　seemed　mixed　in　his　head。　He　recalled　his　former
state　of　mind；　and　the　former　sequence　of　his　thoughts；　but　they
had　no　longer　their　former　power　or　validity。

〃And　supposing　I　have　invented　all　this；　and　am　unable　to　live　it
throughsupposing　I　repent　of　having　acted　right；〃　he　thought；
and　unable　to　answer　he　was　seized　with　such　anguish　and　despair
as　he　had　long　not　felt。　Unable　to　free　himself　from　his
perplexity；　he　fell　into　a　heavy　sleep；　such　as　he　had　slept
after　a　heavy　loss　at　cards。


CHAPTER　XXV。

LYDIA　SHOUSTOVA'S　HOME。

Nekhludoff　awoke　next　morning　feeling　as　if　he　had　been　guilty　of
some　iniquity　the　day　before。　He　began　considering。　He　could　not
remember　having　done　anything　wrong；　he　had　committed　no　evil
act；　but　he　had　had　evil　thoughts。　He　had　thought　that　all　his
present　resolutions　to　marry　Katusha　and　to　give　up　his　land　were
unachievable　dreams；　that　he　should　be　unable　to　bear　it；　that　it
was　artificial；　unnatural；　and　that　he　would　have　to　go　on　living
as　he　lived。

He　had　committed　no　evil　action；　but；　what　was　far　worse　than　an
evil　action；　he　had　entertained　evil　thoughts　whence　all　evil
actions　proceed。　An　evil　action　may　not　be　repeated；　and　can　be
repented　of；　but　evil　thoughts　generate　all　evil　actions。

An　evil　action　only　smooths　the　path　for　other　evil　acts；　evil
thoughts　uncontrollably　drag　one　along　that　path。

When　Nekhludoff　repeated　in　his　mind　the　thoughts　of　the　day
before；　he　was　surprised　that　he　could　for　a　moment　have　believed
these　thoughts。　However　new　and　difficult　that　which　he　had
decided　to　do　might　be；　he　knew　that　it　was　the　only　possible　way
of　life　for　him　now；　and　however　easy　and　natural　it　might　have
been　to　return　to　his　former　state；　he　knew　that　state　to　be
death。

Yesterday's　temptation　seemed　like　the　feeling　when　one　awakes
from　deep　sleep；　and；　without　feeling　sleepy；　wants　to　lie
comfortably　in　bed　a　little　longer；　yet　knows　that　it　is　time　to
rise　and　commence　the　glad　and　important　work　that　awaits　one。

On　that；　his　last　day　in　Petersburg；　he　went　in　the　morning　to
the　Vasilievski　Ostrov　to　see　Shoustova。　Shoustova　lived　on　the
second　floor；　and　having　been　shown　the　back　stairs；　Nekhludoff
entered　straight　into　the　hot　kitchen；　which　smelt　strongly　of
food。　An　elderly　woman；　with　turned…up　sleeves；　with　an　apron　and
spectacles；　stood　by　the　fire　stirring　something　in　a　steaming
pan。

〃Whom　do　you　want？〃　she　asked　severely；　looking　at　him　over　her
spectacles。

Before　Nekhludoff　had　time　to　answer；　an　expression　of　fright　and
joy　appeared　on　her　face。

〃Oh；　Prince！〃　she　exclaimed；　wiping　her　hands　on　her　apron。　〃But
why　have　you　come　the　back　way？　Our　Benefactor！　I　am　her　mother。
They　have　nearly　killed　my　little　girl。　You　have　saved　us；〃　she
said；　catching　hold　of　Nekhludoff's　hand　and　trying　to　kiss　it。

〃I　went　to　see　you　yesterday。　My　sister　asked　me　to。　She　is　here。
This　way；　this　way；　please；〃　said　Shoustova's　mother；　as　she　led
the　way　through　a　narrow　door；　and　a　dark　passage；　arranging　her
hair　and　pulling　at　her　tucked…up　skirt。　〃My　sister's　name　is
Kornilova。　You　must　have　heard　of　her；〃　she　added；　stopping
before　a　closed　door。　〃She　was　mixed　up　in　a　political　affair。
An　extremely　clever　woman！〃

Shoustova's　mother　opened　the　door　and　showed　Nekhludoff　into　a
little　room　where　on　a　sofa　with　a　table　before　it　sat　a　plump；
short　girl　with　fair　hair　that　curled　round　her　pale；　round　face；
which　was　very　like　her　mother's。　She　had　a　striped　cotton　blouse
on。

Opposite　her；　in　an　armchair；　leaning　forward；　so　that　he　was
nearly　bent　double；　sat　a　young　fellow　with　a　slight；　black　beard
and　moustaches。

〃Lydia；　Prince　Nekhludoff！〃　he　said。

The　pale　girl　jumped　up；　nervously　pushing　back　a　lock　of　hair
behind　her　ear；　and　gazing　at　the　newcomer　with　a　frightened　look
in　her　large；　grey　eyes。

〃So　you　are　that　dangerous　woman　whom　Vera　Doukhova　wished　me　to
intercede　for？〃　Nekhludoff　asked；　with　a　smile。

〃Yes；　I　am；〃　said　Lydia　Shoustova；　her　broad；　kind；　child…like
smile　disclosing　a　row　of　beautiful　teeth。　〃It　was　aunt　who　was
so　anxious　to　see　you。　Aunt！〃　she　called　out；　in　a　pleasant；
tender　voice　through　a　door。

〃Your　imprisonment　grieved　Vera　Doukhova　very　much；〃　said
Nekhludoff。

〃Take　a　seat　here；　or　better　here；〃　said　Shoustova；　pointing　to
the　battered　easy…chair　from　which　the　young　man　had　just　risen。

〃My　cousin；　Zakharov；〃　she　said；　noticing　that　Nekhludoff　looked
at　the　young　man。

The　young　man　greeted　the　visitor　with　a　smile　as　kindly　as
Shoustova's；　and　when　Nekhludoff　sat　down　he　brought　himself
another　chair；　and　sat　by　his　side。　A　fair…haired　schoolboy　of
about　10　also　came　into　the　room　and　silently　sat　down　on　the
window…sill。

〃Vera　Doukhova　is　a　great　friend　of　my　aunt's；　but　I　hardly　know
her；〃　said　Shoustova。

Then　a　woman　with　a　very　pleasant　face；　with　a　white　blouse　and
leather　belt；　came　in　from　the　next　room。

〃How　do　you　do？　Thanks　for　coming；〃　she　began　as　soon　as　she　had
taken　the　place　next　Shoustova's　on　the　sofa。

〃Well；　and　how　is　Vera。　You　have　seen　her？　How　does　she　bear　her
fate？〃

〃She　does　not　complain；〃　said　Nekhludoff。　〃She　says　she　feels
perfectly　happy。〃'

〃Ah；　that's　like　Vera。　I　know　her；〃　said　the　aunt；　smiling　and
shaking　her　head。　〃One　must　know　her。　She　has　a　fine　character。
Everything　for　others；　nothing　for　herself。〃

〃No；　she　asked　nothing　for　herself；　but　only　seemed　concerned
about　your　niece。　What　seemed　to　trouble　her　most　was；　as　she
said；　that　your　niece　was　imprisoned　for　nothing。〃

〃Yes；　that's　true；〃　said　the　aunt。　〃It　is　a　dreadful　business。
She　suffered；　in　reality；　because　of　me。〃

〃Not　at　all；　aunt。　I　should　have　taken　the　papers　without　you　all
the　same。'

〃Allow　me　to　know　better；〃　said　the　aunt。　〃You　see；〃　she　went　on
to　Nekhludoff；　〃it　all　happened　because　a　certain　person　asked　me
to