essays on life, art and science-第6章

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and　had　we　given　him　a　statue？　　On　this　I　told　him　of　the　young　lady
of　Harrow　who　would　go　to　church　in　a　barrow；　and　plied　him　with
whatever　rhyming　nonsense　I　could　call　to　mind；　but　it　was　no　use；
all　of　these　things　had　an　element　of　reality　that　robbed　them　of
half　their　charm；　whereas　〃Hey　diddle　diddle〃　had　nothing　in　it　that
could　conceivably　concern　him。

So　again　it　is　with　the　things　that　gall　us　most。　　What　is　it　that
rises　up　against　us　at　odd　times　and　smites　us　in　the　face　again　and
again　for　years　after　it　has　happened？　　That　we　spent　all　the　best
years　of　our　life　in　learning　what　we　have　found　to　be　a　swindle；
and　to　have　been　known　to　be　a　swindle　by　those　who　took　money　for
misleading　us？　　That　those　on　whom　we　most　leaned　most　betrayed　us？
That　we　have　only　come　to　feel　our　strength　when　there　is　little
strength　left　of　any　kind　to　feel？　　These　things　will　hardly　much
disturb　a　man　of　ordinary　good　temper。　　But　that　he　should　have　said
this　or　that　little　unkind　and　wanton　saying；　that　he　should　have
gone　away　from　this　or　that　hotel　and　given　a　shilling　too　little　to
the　waiter；　that　his　clothes　were　shabby　at　such　or　such　a　garden…
partythese　things　gall　us　as　a　corn　will　sometimes　do；　though　the
loss　of　a　limb　way　not　be　seriously　felt。

I　have　been　reminded　lately　of　these　considerations　with　more　than
common　force　by　reading　the　very　voluminous　correspondence　left　by
my　grandfather；　Dr。　Butler；　of　Shrewsbury；　whose　memoirs　I　am
engaged　in　writing。　　I　have　found　a　large　number　of　interesting
letters　on　subjects　of　serious　import；　but　must　confess　that　it　is
to　the　hardly　less　numerous　lighter　letters　that　I　have　been　most
attracted；　nor　do　I　feel　sure　that　my　eminent　namesake　did　not　share
my　predilection。　　Among　other　letters　in　my　possession　I　have　one
bundle　that　has　been　kept　apart；　and　has　evidently　no　connection
with　Dr。　Butler's　own　life。　　I　cannot　use　these　letters；　therefore；
for　my　book；　but　over　and　above　the　charm　of　their　inspired
spelling；　I　find　them　of　such　an　extremely　trivial　nature　that　I
incline　to　hope　the　reader　may　derive　as　much　amusement　from　them　as
I　have　done　myself；　and　venture　to　give　them　the　publicity　here
which　I　must　refuse　them　in　my　book。　　The　dates　and　signatures　have；
with　the　exception　of　Mrs。　Newton's；　been　carefully　erased；　but　I
have　collected　that　they　were　written　by　the　two　servants　of　a
single　lady　who　resided　at　no　great　distance　from　London；　to　two
nieces　of　the　said　lady　who　lived　in　London　itself。　　The　aunt　never
writes；　but　always　gets　one　of　the　servants　to　do　so　for　her。　　She
appears　either　as　〃your　aunt〃　or　as　〃She〃；　her　name　is　not　given；
but　she　is　evidently　looked　upon　with　a　good　deal　of　awe　by　all　who
had　to　do　with　her。

The　letters　almost　all　of　them　relate　to　visits　either　of　the　aunt
to　London；　or　of　the　nieces　to　the　aunt's　home；　which；　from
occasional　allusions　to　hopping；　I　gather　to　have　been　in　Kent；
Sussex；　or　Surrey。　　I　have　arranged　them　to　the　best　of　my　power；
and　take　the　following　to　be　the　earliest。　　It　has　no　signature；　but
is　not　in　the　handwriting　of　the　servant　who　styles　herself
Elizabeth；　or　Mrs。　Newton。　　It　runs：…


〃MADAM；Your　Aunt　Wishes　me　to　inform　you　she　will　be　glad　if　you
will　let　hir　know　if　you　think　of　coming　To　hir　House　thiss　month　or
Next　as　she　cannot　have　you　in　September　on　a　kount　of　the　Hoping　If
you　ar　coming　she　thinkes　she　had　batter　Go　to　London　on　the　Day　you
com　to　hir　House　the　says　you　shall　have　everry　Thing　raddy　for　you
at　hir　House　and　Mrs。　Newton　to　meet　you　and　stay　with　you　till　She
returnes　a　gann。

〃if　you　arnot　Coming　thiss　Summer　She　will　be　in　London　before　thiss
Month　is　out　and　will　Sleep　on　the　Sofy　As　She　willnot　be　in　London
more　thann　two　nits。　and　She　Says　she　willnot　truble　you　on　anny　a
kount　as　She　Will　returne　the　Same　Day　before　She　will　plage　you
anny　more。　but　She　thanks　you　for　asking　hir　to　London。　but　She　says
She　cannot　leve　the　house　at　prassant　She　sayhir　Survants　ar　to　do
for　you　as　she　cannot　lodge　yours　nor　she　willnot　have　thim　in　at
the　house　anny　more　to　brake　and　destroy　hir　thinks　and　beslive　hir
and　make　up　Lies　by　hir　and　Skandel　as　your　too　did　She　says　she
mens　to　pay　fore　2　Nits　and　one　day；　She　says　the　Pepelwill　let　hir
have　it　if　you　ask　thim　to　let　hir：　　you　Will　be　so　good　as　to　let
hir　know　sun：　　wish　She　is　to　do；　as　She　says　She　dos　not　care　anny
thing　a　bout　it。　which　way　tiss　she　is　batter　than　She　was　and
desirs　hir　Love　to　bouth　bouth。

〃Your　aunt　wises　to　know　how　the　silk　Clocks　ar　madup　＇how　the　silk
cloaks　are　made　up＇　with　a　Cape　or　a　wood　as　she　is　a　goin　to　have
one　madeup　to　rideout　in　in　hir　littel　shas　＇chaise＇。

〃Charles　is　a　butty　and　so　good。

〃Mr　&　Mrs　Newton　ar　quite　wall　&　desires　to　be　remembered　to　you。〃


I　can　throw　no　light　on　the　meaning　of　the　verb　to　〃beslive。〃　　Each
letter　in　the　MS。　is　so　admirably　formed　that　there　can　be　no
question　about　the　word　being　as　I　have　given　it。　　Nor　have　I　been
able　to　discover　what　is　referred　to　by　the　words　〃Charles　is　a
butty　and　so　good。〃　　We　shall　presently　meet　with　a　Charles　who
〃flies　in　the　Fier；〃　but　that　Charles　appears　to　have　been　in
London；　whereas　this　one　is　evidently　in　Kent；　or　wherever　the　aunt
lived。

The　next　letter　is　from　Mrs。　Newton


〃DER　Miss　；　I　Receve　your　Letter　your　Aunt　is　vary　Ill　and
Lowspireted　I　Donte　think　your　Aunt　wood　Git　up　all　Day　if　My　Sister
Wasnot　to　Persage　her　We　all　Think　hir　lif　is　two　monopolous。　you
Wish　to　know　Who　Was　Liveing　With　your　Aunt。　that　is　My　Sister　and
Willianand　Carilineas　Cock　and　Old　Poll　Pepper　is　Come　to　Stay
With　her　a　Littel　Wile　and　I　hoped　＇hopped＇　for　Your　Aunt；　and　Harry
has　Worked　for　your　Aunt　all　the　Summer。　　Your　Aunt　and　Harry　Whent
to　the　Wells　Races　and　Spent　a　very　Pleasant　Day　your　Aunt　has　Lost
Old　Fanney　Sow　She　Died　about　a　Week　a　Go　Harry　he　Wanted　your　Aunt
to　have　her　killed　and　send　her　to　London　and　Shee　Wold　Fech　her　11
pounds　the　Farmers　have　Lost　a　Greet　Deal　of　Cattel　such　as　Hogs　and
Cows　What　theay　call　the　Plage　I　Whent　to　your　Aunt　as　you　Wish　Mee
to　Do　But　She　Told　Mee　She　Did　not　wont　aney　Boddy　She　Told　Mee　She
Should　Like　to　Come　up　to　see　you　But　She　Cant　Come　know　for　she　is
Boddyley　ill　and　Harry　Donte　Work　there　know　But　he　Go　up　there　Once
in　Two　or　Three　Day　Harry　Offered　is　self　to　Go　up　to　Live　With　your
Aunt　But　She　Made　him　know　Ancer。　　I　hay　Been　up　to　your　Aunt　at
Work　for　5　Weeks　Hopping　and　Ragluting　Your　Aunt　Donte　Eat　nor　Drink
But　vary　Littel　indeed。

〃I　am　Happy　to　Say　We　are　Both　Quite　Well　and　I　am　Glad　no　hear　you
are　Both　Quite　Well

〃MRS　NEWTON。〃


This　seems　to　have　made　the　nieces　propose　to　pay　a　visit　to　their
aunt；　perhaps　to　try　and　relieve　the　monopoly　of　her　existence　and
cheer　her　up　a　little。　　In　their　letter；　doubtless；　the　dog　motive
is　introduced　that　is　so　finely　developed　presently　by　Mrs。　Newton。
I　should　like　to　have　been　able　to　give　the　theme　as　enounced　by　the
nieces　themselves；　but　their　letters　are　not　before　me。　　Mrs。　Newton
writes：…


〃MY　DEAR　GIRLS；Your　Aunt　receiv　your　Letter　your　Aunt　will　Be　vary
glad　to　see　you　as　it　quite　a　greeable　if　it　tis　to　you　and　Shee　is
Quite　Willing　to　Eair　the　beds　and　the　Rooms　if　you　Like　to　Trust　to
hir　and　the　Servantes；　if　not　I　may　Go　up　there　as　you　Wish。　　My
Sister　Sleeps　in　the　Best　Room　as　she　allways　Did　and　the　Coock　in
the　garret　and　you　Can　have　the　Rooms　the　same　as　you　allways　Did　as
your　Aunt　Donte　set　in　the　Parlour　She　Continlery　Sets　in　the
Ciching。　your　Aunt　says　she　Cannot　Part　from　the　dog　know　hows　and
She　Says　he　will　not　hurt　you　for　he　is　Like　a　Child　and　I　can
safeley　say　My　Self　he　wonte　hurt　you　as　She　Cannot　Sleep　in　the
Room　With　out　him　as　he　allWay　Sleep　in　the　Same　Room　as　She　Dose。
your　Aunt　is　agreeable　to　Git　in　What　Coles　and　Wood　you　Wish　for　I
am　know　happy　to　say　your　Aunt　is　in　as　Good　health　as　ever　She　Was
and　She　is　happy　to　hear　you　are　Both　Well　your　Aunt　Wishes　for
Ancer　By　Return　of　Post。〃


The　nieces　replied　that　their　aunt　must　choose　between　the　dog　and
them；　and　Mrs。　Newton　sends　a　second　letter　which　brings　her
development　to　a　climax。　　It　runs：…


〃DEAR　MISS　；　I　have　Receve　your　Letter　and　i　Whent　up　to　your　Aunt
as　you　Wish　me　and　i　Try　to　Perveal　With　her　about　the　Dog　But　she
Wold　not　Put　the　Dog　away　nor　it　alow　him　to　Be　Tied　up　But　She
Still　Wishes　you　to　Come　as　Shee　says　the　Dog　Shall　not　interrup　you
for　She　Donte　alow　the　Dog　nor　it　the　Cats　to　Go　in　the　Parlour
never　sence　She　has　had　it　Donup　ferfere　of　Spoiling　the　Paint　your
Aunt　think　it　vary　Strange　you　Should　Be　so　vary　Much　afraid　of　a
Dog　and　She　says　you　Cant　Go　out　in　London　But　What　you　are　up　a
gance　one　and　She　says　She　Wonte　Trust　the　Dog　in　know　one　hands　But
her　Owne　for　She　is　afraid　theay　Will　not　fill　is　Belley　as　he　Lives
upon　Rost　Beeff　and　Rost　and　Boil　Moutten　Wich　he　Eats　More　then　the
Servantes　in　the　House　there　is　not　aney　One　Wold　Beable　to　Give
Sattefacktion　upon　that　account　Harry　offerd　to　Take　the　Dog　But　She
Wood　not　Trust　him　in　our　hands　so　I　Cold　not　Do　aney　thing　With　her
your　Aunt　youse　to　Tell　Me　When　we　was　at　your　House　in　London　She
Did　not　know　how　to　make　you　amens　and　i　Told　her　know　it　was　the
Time　to　Do　it　But　i　Considder　She　sets　the　Dog　Before　you　your　Aunt
keep　know　Beer　know　Sprits　know　Wines　in　the　House　of　aney　Sort
Oneley　a　Little　Barl　of　Wine　I　made　her　in　the　Summer　the　Workmen
and　servantes　are　a　Blige　to　Drink　wauter　Morning　Noon　and　Night
your　Aunt　the　Same　She　Donte　Low　her　Self　aney　Tee　nor　Coffee　But　is
Loocking　Wonderful　Well

〃I　Still　Remane　your　Humble　Servant　Mrs　Newton

〃I　am　vary　sorry　to　think　the　Dog　Perventes　your　Comeing

〃I　am　Glad　to　hear　you　are　Both　Well　and　we　are　the　same。〃


The　nieces　remained　firm；　and　from　the　following　letter　it　is　plain
the　aunt　gave　way。　　The　dog　motive　is　repeated　pianissimo；　and　is
not　returned　tonot　at　least　by　Mrs。　Newton。


〃DEAR　Miss　；　I　Receve　your　Letter　on　Thursday　i　Whent　to　your　Aunt
and　i　see　her　and　She　is　a　Greable　to　everry　thing　i　asked　her　and
seme　so　vary　Much　Please　to　see　you　Both　Next　Tuseday　and　she　has
sent　for　the　Faggots　to　Day　and　she　Will　Send　for　the　Coles　to
Morrow　and　i　will　Go　up　there　to　Morrow　Morning　and　Make　the　Fiers
and　Tend　to　the　Beds　and　sleep　in　it　Till　you　Come　Down　your　Aunt
sends　her　Love　to　you　Both　and　she　is　Quite　well　your　Aunt　Wishes
you　wold　Write　againe　Before　you　Come　as　she　ma　Expeckye　and　the　Dog
is　not　to　Gointo　the　Parlor　a　Tall

〃your　Aunt　kind　Love　to　you　Both　&　hopes　you　Wonte　Fail　in　Coming
according　to　Prommis

MRS　NEWTON。〃


From　a　later　letter　it　appears　that　the　nieces　did　not　pay　their
visit　after　all；　and　what　is　worse　a　letter　had　miscarried；　and　the
aunt　sat　up　expecting　them　from　seven　till　twelve　at　night；　and
Harry　had　paid　for　〃Faggots　and　Coles　quarter　of　Hund。　　Faggots　Half
tun　of　Coles　1l。　1s。　3d。〃　　Shortly　afterwards；　however；　〃She〃　again
talks　of　coming　up　to　London　herself　and　writes　through　her　servant
…


〃My　Dear　girls　i　Receve　your　kind　letter　&　I　am　happy　to　hear　you　ar
both　Well　and　I　Was　in　hopes　of　seeing　o