thais(塞斯)-第30章
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weight； raised her breast。 He clung tightly to the sweet； warm； perfumed
body； and consumed with the desire of damnation； he cried
〃Stay； stay； my heavenly one！〃
But she was already standing on the threshold。 She laughed； and her
smile gleamed in the silver rays of the moon。
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〃Why should I stay？〃 she said。 〃The shadow of a shadow is enough for
a lover endowed with such a lively imagination。 Besides； you have sinned。
What more was needed？〃
Paphnutius wept in the night； and when the dawn came； he murmured
a prayer that was a meek complaint
〃Jesus； my Jesus； why hast Thou forsaken me！ Thou seest the danger
in which I am。 Come； and help me； sweet Saviour。 Since Thy Father no
longer loves me； and does not hear me； remember that I have but Thee。
From Him nothing is to be hoped； I cannot comprehend Him； and He
cannot pity me。 But Thou was born of a woman； and that is why I trust in
Thee。 Remember that Thou wast a man。 I pray to Thee； not because Thou
art God of God； Light of light； very God of very God； but because Thou
hast lived poor and humble on this earth where now I suffer； because Satan
has tempted Thy flesh； because the sweat of agony has bedewed Thy face。
It is to Thy humanity that I pray； Jesus； my brother Jesus！〃
When he had thus prayed； wringing his hands； a terrible peal of
laughter shook the walls of the tomb； and the voice which rang in his ears
on the top of the column； said jeeringly
〃That is a prayer worthy of the breviary of Marcus； the heretic。
Paphnutius is an Arian！ Paphnutius is an Arian！〃
As though thunderstruck； the monk fell senseless。
*****
When he reopened his eyes； he saw around him monks wearing black
hoods； who poured water on his temples； and recited exorcisms。 Many
others were standing outside； carrying palm leaves。
〃As we passed through the desert；〃 said one of them； 〃we heard cries
issuing from this tomb； and； having entered； we found you lying
unconscious on the floor。 Doubtless the devils had thrown you down； and
had fled at our approach。〃
Paphnutius； raising his head； asked in a feeble voice
〃Who are you； my brothers？ And why do you carry palms in your
hands？ Is it for my burial？〃
One of them replied
〃Brother； do you not know that our father； Anthony； now a hundred
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and five years old； having been warned of his approaching end； has come
down from Mount Colzin； to which he had retired； to bless his numerous
spiritual children？ We are going with palm leaves to greet our holy father。
But how is it； brother； that you are ignorant of such a great event？ Can it
be possible that no angel came to this tomb to inform you？〃
〃Alas！〃 replied Paphnutius； 〃I am not worthy of such a favour； and the
only denizens of this abode are demons and vampires。 Pray for me。 I am
Paphnutius； Abbot of Antinoe； the most wretched of the servants of God。〃
At the name of Paphnutius； all waved their palm leaves and murmured
his praises。 The monk who had previously spoken； cried in surprise
〃Can it be that thou art that holy Paphnutius； celebrated for so many
works that it was supposed he would some day equal the great Anthony
himself？ Most venerable； it was thou who convertedst to God the
courtesan； Thais； and who； raised upon a high column； was carried away
by the seraphs。 Those who watched by night； at the foot of the pillar； saw
thy blessed assumption。 The wings of the angels encircled thee in a white
cloud； and with thy right hand extended thou didst bless the dwellings of
man。 The next day； when the people saw thou wert no longer there； a long
groan rose to the summit of the discrowned pillar。 But Flavian； thy disciple；
reported the miracle； and took thy place as the head。 But a foolish man； of
the name of Paul； tried to contradict the general opinion。 He asserted that
he had seen thee； in a dream； carried away by the devils； the people
wanted to stone him； and it was a miracle that he escaped death。 I am
Zozimus； abbot of these solitary monks whom thou seest prostrate at thy
feet。 Like them； I kneel before thee； that thou mayest bless the father with
the children。 Then thou shalt relate to us the marvels which God has
deigned to accomplish by thy means。〃
〃Far from having favoured me as thou believest；〃 replied Paphnutius；
〃the Lord has tried me with terrible temptations。 I was not carried away by
angels。 But a shadowy wall is raised in front of my eyes； and moves before
me。 I have lived in a dream。 Without God all is a dream。 When I made my
journey to Alexandria； I heard； in a short space of time； many discourses；
and I learned that the army of errors was innumerable。 It pursues me； and I
am compassed about with swords。〃
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Zozimus replied
〃Venerable father； we must remember that the saints； and especially
the solitary saints； undergo terrible trials。 If thou wast not carried to
heaven by the seraphs； it is certain that the Lord granted that favour to thy
image； for Flavian； the monks； and the people were witnesses of thy
assumption。〃
Paphnutius resolved to go and receive the blessing of Anthony。
〃Brother Zozimus；〃 he said； 〃give me one of these palm leaves； and let
us go and meet our father。〃
〃Let us go；〃 replied Zozimus； 〃military order is most befitting for
monks； who are God's soldiers。 Thou and I； being abbots； will march in
front； and the others shall follow us； singing psalms。〃
They set out on their march； and Paphnutius said
〃God is unity； for He is the truth； which is one。 The world is many；
because it is error。 We should turn away from all the sights of nature； even
those which appear the most innocent。 Their diversity renders them
pleasant； which is a sign that they are evil。 For that reason； I cannot see a
tuft of papyrus by the side of still waters without my soul being imbued
with melancholy。 All things that the senses perceive are detestable。 The
least grain of sand brings danger。 Everything tempts us。 Woman is but a
combination of all the temptations scattered in the thin air； on the
flowering earth； in the clear waters。 Happy is he whose soul is a sealed
vase！ Happy is he who knows how to be deaf； dumb； and blind； and who
knows nothing of the world； in order that he may know God！〃
Zozimus； having meditated upon these words； replied as follows
〃Venerable father； it is fitting that I should avow my sins to thee； since
thou hast shown me thy soul。 Thus we shall confess to each other；
according to the apostolic custom。 Before I was a monk； I led an
abominable life。 At Madaura； a city celebrated for its courtesans； I sought
out all kinds of worldly love。 Every night I supped in company with young
debauchees and female flute players； and I took home with me the one
who pleased me the best。 A saint like thee could never imagine to what a
pitch the fury of my desires carried me。 Suffice it to say that it spared
neither matrons nor nuns； and spread adultery and sacrilege everywhere。 I
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excited my senses with wine； and was justly known as the heaviest drinker
in Madaura。 Yet I was a Christian； and； in all my follies； kept my faith in
Jesus crucified。 Having devoured my substance in riotous living； I was
beginning to feel the first attacks of poverty； when I saw one of my
companions in pleasure suddenly struck with a terrible disease。 His knees
could not sustain him； his twitching hands refused to obey him； his glazed
eyes closed。 Only horrible groans came from his breast。 His mind； heavier
than his body； slumbered。 To punish him for having lived like a beast； God
had changed him into a beast。 The loss of my property had already
inspired me with salutary reflections； but the example of my friend was of
yet greater efficacy； it made such an impression on my heart that I quitted
the world and retired into the desert。 There I have enjoyed for twenty years
a peace that nothing has troubled。 I work with my monks as weaver；
architect； carpenter； and even as scribe； though； to say the truth； I have
little taste for writing； having always preferred action to thought。 My days
are full of joy； and my nights without dreams； and I believe that the grace
of the Lord is in me； because； even in the midst of the most frightful sins； I
have never lost hope。〃
On hearing these words； Paphnutius lifted his eyes to heaven and
murmured
〃Lord； Thou lookest with kindness upon this man polluted by adultery；
sacrilege； and so many crimes； and Thou turnest away from me； who have
always kept Thy commandments！ How inscrutable is Thy justice； O my
God！ and how impenetrable are Thy ways！〃
Zozimus extended his arms。
〃Look； venerable father！ On both sides of the horizon are long； black
files that look like emigrant ants。 They are our brothers； who； like us； are
going to meet Anthony。〃
When they came to the place of meeting； they saw a magnificent
spectacle。 The army of monks extended； in three ranks； in an immense
semicircle。 In the first rank stood the old hermits of the desert； cross in
hand； and with long beards that almost touched the ground。 The monks；
governed by the abbots Ephrem and Serapion； and also all the cenobites of
the Nile； formed the second line。 Behind them appeared the ascetics； who
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had come from their distant rocks。 Some wore； on their blackened and
dried…up bodies； shap
