juana-第9章

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fall　upon　her　head。　She　judged　her　husband　incapable　of　rising　to　the

honored　ranks　of　the　social　order；　and　she　felt　that　he　would　one　day

descend　to　where　his　instincts　led　him。　Henceforth　Juana　felt　pity　for

him。



The　future　was　very　gloomy　for　this　young　woman。　She　lived　in　constant

apprehension　of　some　disaster。　This　presentiment　was　in　her　soul　as　a

contagion　is　in　the　air；　but　she　had　strength　of　mind　and　will　to

disguise　her　anguish　beneath　a　smile。　Juana　had　ceased　to　think　of

herself。　She　used　her　influence　to　make　Diard　resign　his　various

pretensions　and　to　show　him；　as　a　haven；　the　peaceful　and　consoling

life　of　home。　Evils　came　from　societywhy　not　banish　it？　In　his　home

Diard　found　peace　and　respect；　he　reigned　there。　She　felt　herself

strong　to　accept　the　trying　task　of　making　him　happy；he；　a　man

dissatisfied　with　himself。　Her　energy　increased　with　the　difficulties

of　life；　she　had　all　the　secret　heroism　necessary　to　her　position；

religion　inspired　her　with　those　desires　which　support　the　angel

appointed　to　protect　a　Christian　souloccult　poesy；　allegorical　image

of　our　two　natures！



Diard　abandoned　his　projects；　closed　his　house　to　the　world；　and　lived

in　his　home。　But　here　he　found　another　reef。　The　poor　soldier　had　one

of　those　eccentric　souls　which　need　perpetual　motion。　Diard　was　one　of

the　men　who　are　instinctively　compelled　to　start　again　the　moment　they

arrive；　and　whose　vital　object　seems　to　be　to　come　and　go　incessantly；

like　the　wheels　mentioned　in　Holy　Writ。　Perhaps　he　felt　the　need　of

flying　from　himself。　Without　wearying　of　Juana；　without　blaming　Juana；

his　passion　for　her；　rendered　tranquil　by　time；　allowed　his　natural

character　to　assert　itself。　Henceforth　his　days　of　gloom　were　more

frequent；　and　he　often　gave　way　to　southern　excitement。　The　more

virtuous　a　woman　is　and　the　more　irreproachable；　the　more　a　man　likes

to　find　fault　with　her；　if　only　to　assert　by　that　act　his　legal

superiority。　But　if　by　chance　she　seems　really　imposing　to　him；　he

feels　the　need　of　foisting　faults　upon　her。　After　that；　between　man

and　wife；　trifles　increase　and　grow　till　they　swell　to　Alps。



But　Juana；　patient　and　without　pride；　gentle　and　without　that

bitterness　which　women　know　so　well　how　to　cast　into　their　submission；

left　Diard　no　chance　for　planned　ill…humor。　Besides；　she　was　one　of

those　noble　creatures　to　whom　it　is　impossible　to　speak

disrespectfully；　her　glance；　in　which　her　life；　saintly　and　pure；

shone　out；　had　the　weight　of　a　fascination。　Diard；　embarrassed　at

first；　then　annoyed；　ended　by　feeling　that　such　high　virtue　was　a　yoke

upon　him。　The　goodness　of　his　wife　gave　him　no　violent　emotions；　and

violent　emotions　were　what　he　wanted。　What　myriads　of　scenes　are

played　in　the　depths　of　his　souls；　beneath　the　cold　exterior　of　lives

that　are；　apparently；　commonplace！　Among　these　dramas；　lasting　each

but　a　short　time；　though　they　influence　life　so　powerfully　and　are

frequently　the　forerunners　of　the　great　misfortune　doomed　to　fall　on

so　many　marriages；　it　is　difficult　to　choose　an　example。　There　was　a

scene；　however；　which　particularly　marked　the　moment　when　in　the　life

of　this　husband　and　wife　estrangement　began。　Perhaps　it　may　also　serve

to　explain　the　finale　of　this　narrative。



Juana　had　two　children；　happily　for　her；　two　sons。　The　first　was　born

seven　months　after　her　marriage。　He　was　called　Juan；　and　he　strongly

resembled　his　mother。　The　second　was　born　about　two　years　after　her

arrival　in　Paris。　The　latter　resembled　both　Diard　and　Juana；　but　more

particularly　Diard。　His　name　was　Francisque。　For　the　last　five　years

Francisque　had　been　the　object　of　Juana's　most　tender　and　watchful

care。　The　mother　was　constantly　occupied　with　that　child；　to　him　her

prettiest　caresses；　to　him　the　toys；　but　to　him；　especially；　the

penetrating　mother…looks。　Juana　had　watched　him　from　his　cradle；　she

had　studied　his　cries；　his　motions；　she　endeavored　to　discern　his

nature　that　she　might　educate　him　wisely。　It　seemed　at　times　as　if　she

had　but　that　one　child。　Diard；　seeing　that　the　eldest；　Juan；　was　in　a

way　neglected；　took　him　under　his　own　protection；　and　without

inquiring　even　of　himself　whether　the　boy　was　the　fruit　of　that

ephemeral　love　to　which　he　owed　his　wife；　he　made　him　his　Benjamin。



Of　all　the　sentiments　transmitted　to　her　through　the　blood　of　her

grandmothers　which　consumed　her；　Madame　Diard　accepted　one　alone；

maternal　love。　But　she　loved　her　children　doubly：　first　with　the　noble

violence　of　which　her　mother　the　Marana　had　given　her　the　example；

secondly；　with　grace　and　purity；　in　the　spirit　of　those　social　virtues

the　practice　of　which　was　the　glory　of　her　life　and　her　inward

recompense。　The　secret　thought；　the　conscience　of　her　motherhood；

which　gave　to　the　Marana's　life　its　stamp　of　untaught　poesy；　was　to

Juana　an　acknowledged　life；　an　open　consolation　at　all　hours。　Her

mother　had　been　virtuous　as　other　women　are　criminal；in　secret；　she

had　stolen　a　fancied　happiness；　she　had　never　really　tasted　it。　But

Juana；　unhappy　in　her　virtue　as　her　mother　was　unhappy　in　her　vice；

could　enjoy　at　all　moments　the　ineffable　delights　which　her　mother　had

so　craved　and　could　not　have。　To　her；　as　to　her　mother；　maternity

comprised　all　earthly　sentiments。　Each；　from　differing　causes；　had　no

other　comfort　in　their　misery。　Juana's　maternal　love　may　have　been　the

strongest　because；　deprived　of　all　other　affections；　she　put　the　joys

she　lacked　into　the　one　joy　of　her　children；　and　there　are　noble

passions　that　resemble　vice；　the　more　they　are　satisfied　the　more　they

increase。　Mothers　and　gamblers　are　alike　insatiable。



When　Juana　saw　the　generous　pardon　laid　silently　on　the　head　of　Juan

by　Diard's　fatherly　affection；　she　was　much　moved；　and　from　the　day

when　the　husband　and　wife　changed　parts　she　felt　for　him　the　true　and

deep　interest　she　had　hitherto　shown　to　him　as　a　matter　of　duty　only。

If　that　man　had　been　more　consistent　in　his　life；　if　he　had　not

destroyed　by　fitful　inconstancy　and　restlessness　the　forces　of　a　true

though　excitable　sensibility；　Juana　would　doubtless　have　loved　him　in

the　end。　Unfortunately；　he　was　a　type　of　those　southern　natures　which

are　keen　in　perceptions　they　cannot　follow　out；　capable　of　great

things　over…night；　and　incapable　the　next　morning；　often　the　victim　of

their　own　virtues；　and　often　lucky　through　their　worst　passions；

admirable　men　in　some　respects；　when　their　good　qualities　are　kept　to

a　steady　energy　by　some　outward　bond。　For　two　years　after　his　retreat

from　active　life　Diard　was　held　captive　in　his　home　by　the　softest

chains。　He　lived；　almost　in　spite　of　himself；　under　the　influence　of

his　wife；　who　made　herself　gay　and　amusing　to　cheer　him；　who　used　the

resources　of　feminine　genius　to　attract　and　seduce　him　to　a　love　of

virtue；　but　whose　ability　and　cleverness　did　not　go　so　far　as　to

simulate　love。



At　this　time　all　Paris　was　talking　of　the　affair　of　a　captain　in　the

army　who　in　a　paroxysm　of　libertine　jealousy　had　killed　a　woman。

Diard；　on　coming　home　to　dinner；　told　his　wife　that　the　officer　was

dead。　He　had　killed　himself　to　avoid　the　dishonor　of　a　trial　and　the

shame　of　death　upon　the　scaffold。　Juana　did　not　see　at　first　the　logic

of　such　conduct；　and　her　husband　was　obliged　to　explain　to　her　the

fine　jurisprudence　of　French　law；　which　does　not　prosecute　the　dead。



〃But；　papa；　didn't　you　tell　us　the　other　day　that　the　king　could

pardon？〃　asked　Francisque。



〃The　king　can　give　nothing　but　life；〃　said　Juan；　half　scornfully。



Diard　and　Juana；　the　spectators　of　this　little　scene；　were　differently

affected　by　it。　The　glance；　moist　with　joy；　which　his　wife　cast　upon

her　eldest　child　was　a　fatal　revelation　to　the　husband　of　the　secrets

of　a　heart　hitherto　impenetrable。　That　eldest　child　was　all　Juana；

Juana　comprehended　him；　she　was　sure　of　his　heart；　his　future；　she

adored　him；　but　her　ardent　love　was　a　secret　between　herself；　her

child；　and　God。　Juan　instinctively　enjoyed　the　seeming　indifference　of

his　mother　in　presence　of　his　father　and　brother；　for　she　pressed　him

to　her　heart　when　alone。　Francisque　was　Diard；　and　Juana's　incessant

care　and　watchfulness　betrayed　her　desire　to　correct　in　the　son　the

vices　of　the　father　and　to　encourage　his　better　qualities。　Juana；

unaware　that　her　glance　had　said　too　much　and　that　her　husband　had

rightly　interpreted　it；　took　Francisque　in　her　lap　and　gave　him；　in　a

gentle　voice　still　trembling　with　the　pleasure　that　Juan's　answer　had

brought　her；　a　lesson　upon　honor；　simplified　to　his　childish

intelligence。



〃That　boy's　character　requires　care；〃　said　Diard。



〃Yes；〃　she　replied　simply。



〃How　about　Juan？〃



Madame　Diard；　struck　by　the　tone　in　which　the　words　were　uttered；

looked　at　her　husband。



〃Juan　was　born　perfect；〃　he　added。



Then　he　sat　down　gloomily；　and　reflected。　Presently；　as　his　wife

continued　silent；　he　added：



〃You　love　one　of　YOUR　children　better　than　the　other。〃



〃You　know　that；〃　she　said。



〃No；〃　said　Diard；　〃I　did　not　know　until　now　which　of　them　you

preferred。〃



〃But　neither　of　them　have　ever　given　me　a　moment's　uneasiness；〃　she

answered　quickly。



〃But　one　of　them　gives　you　greater　joys；〃　he　said；　more　quickly　still。



〃I　never　counted　them；〃　she　said。



〃How　false　you　women　are！〃　cried　Diard。　〃Will　you　dare　to　say　that

Juan　is　not　the　child　of　your　heart？〃



〃If　that　were　so；〃　she　said；　with　dignity；　〃do　you　think　it　a

misfortune？〃



〃You　have　never　loved　me。　If　you　had　chosen；　I　would　have　conquered

worlds　for　your　sake。　You　know　all　that　I　have　struggled　to　do　in

life；　supported　by　the　hope　of　pleasing　you。　Ah！　if　you　had　only　loved

me！〃



〃A　woman　who　loves；〃　said　Juana；　〃likes　to　live　in　solitude；　far　from

the　world；　and　that　is　what　we　are　doing。〃



〃I　know；　Juana；　that　YOU　are　never　in　the　wrong。〃



The　words　were　said　bitterly；　and　cast；　for　the　rest　of　their　lives

together；　a　coldness　between　them。



On　the　morrow　of　that　fatal　day　Diard　went　back　to　his　old　companions

and　found　distractions　for　his　mind　in　play。　Unfortunately；　he　won

much　money；　and　continued　playing。　Little　by　little；　he　returned　to

the　dissipated　life　he　had　formerly　lived。　Soon　he　ceased　even　to　dine

in　his　own　home。



Some　months　went　by　in　the　enjoyment　of　this　new　independence；　he　was

determined　to　preserve　it；　and　in　order　to　do　so　he　separated　himself

from　his　wife；　giving　her　the　large　apartments　and　lodging　himself　in

the　entresol。　By　the　end　of　the　year　Diard　and　Juana　only　saw　each

other　in　the　morning　at　breakfast。



Like　all　gamblers；　he　had　his　alternations　of　loss　and　gain。　Not

wishing　to　cut　into　the　capital　of　his　fortune；　he　felt　the　necessity

of　withdrawing　from　his　wife　the　management　of　their　income；　and　the

day　came　when　he　took　from　her　all　she　had　hitherto　freely　dispos