tg.stone of tears-第17章

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　Kahlan　smiled。　‘No；　you　haven’t。’
　
　Suddenly　he　looked　embarrassed　and　unsure　of　himself。
　
　His　eyes　wandered　a　little。　That　was　really　stupid。　I’m　sorry。　That　wasn’t　the　right　way　to　do　it。　I　hope　you’re　not　angry。　I　guess　I’m　not　very　good　at　this。　I’ve　never　done　it　before。’
　
　‘Me　neither。’
　
　‘And　I　guess　this　isn’t　the　most　romantic　place　to　do　it。　It　should　be　someplace　beautiful。’
　
　‘Wherever　you　are　is　the　most　romantic　place　in　the　world　to　me。’
　
　‘And　I　guess　I　must　look　pretty　silly　asking　you　something　like　this　when　I’m　lying　here　with　a　headache。’
　
　‘If　you　don’t　ask　me　pretty　soon；　Richard　Cypher；’　she　whispered；　‘I’m　going　to　choke　it　out　of　you。’
　
　His　eyes　finally　found　hers；　found　hers　so　intently　it　nearly　took　her　breath　away。　‘Kahlan　Amnell；　will　you　marry　me？’
　
　Quite　unexpectedly；　she　found　she　couldn’t　speak。　She　closed　her　eyes　and　kissed　his　soft　lips　as　a　tear　rolled　down　her　cheek。　His　arms　closed　around　her；　hugging　her　tight　against　the　heat　of　him。　She　pulled　back　breathlessly。　Her　voice　at　last　returned。　‘Yes。’　She　kissed　him　again。　‘Please；　yes。’
　
　Kahlan　laid　her　head　against　his　shoulder。　Richard　gently　stroked　her　hair　as　she　listened　to　his　breathing　and　the　crackle　of　the　fire。　He　held　her　tenderly　and　kissed　the　top　of　her　head；　there　being　no　need　for　words。　She　felt　safe　in　his　arms。
　
　Kahlan　let　loose　her　pain：　the　pain　of　loving　him　more　than　life　itself　and　thinking　he　had　been　tortured　to　death　by　the　Mord…Sith　before　she　could　tell　him　how　much　she　loved　him；　the　pain　of　having　thought　she　could　never　have　him　because　she　was　a　Confessor　and　her　power　would　destroy　him；　the　hurt　of　how　much　she　needed　him；　how　uncontrollably　she　loved　him。
　
　As　her　anguish　expended　itself；　it　was　replaced　by　her　joy　in　what　lay　ahead：　a　lifetime；　together。　The　breathless　excitement　of　it　seeped　into　her。　She　clutched　at　him；　wanting　to　melt　into　him；　wanting　to　be　one　with　him。
　
　Kahlan　smiled。　That　was　what　being　married　to　him　would　be：　being　one　with　him；　as　Zedd　had　told　her　once　…like　finding　the　other　half　of　herself。
　
　When　she　finally　looked　up；　there　was　a　tear　on　his　face。　She　wiped　the　tears　from　her　cheeks；　and　he　did　the　same。　She　hoped　his　tears　meant　he　had　let　his　demons　go；　too。
　
　‘I　love　you；’　she　whispered。
　
　Richard　pulled　her　tight　against　him。　His　fingers　traced　a　trail　down　the　bumps　of　her　spine。
　
　‘I　feel　so　frustrated　that　there　aren’t　any　better　words　than　‘I　love　you；’’　he　said。　‘It　doesn’t　seem　enough　for　the　way　I　feel　about　you。　I’m　sorry　there　aren’t　any　better　words　to　tell　you。’
　
　They　are　words　enough　for　me。’
　
　‘Then；　I　love　you；　Kahlan。　A　thousand　times；　a　million　times；　I　love　you。　Forever。’
　
　She　listened　to　the　snap　and　pop　of　the　fire；　and　to　his　heart　beating。　To　her　own　heartbeat。　He　rocked　her　gently。　She　wanted　to　stay　there　in　his　arms　forever。　Suddenly　the　world　seemed　a　wonderful　place。
　
　Richard　grasped　her　shoulders　and　held　her　away　to　better　see　her。　A　wonderful　smile　spread　across　his　face。　‘I　can’t　believe　how　beautiful　you　are。　I　have　never　seen　anyone　as　beautiful　as　you。’　He　ran　a　hand　down　her　hair。　‘I’m　so　glad　I　didn’t　cut　your　hair　that　time。　You　have　beautiful　hair。　Don’t　ever　change　it。’
　
　‘I’m　a　Confessor；　remember？　My　hair　is　a　symbol　of　my　power。　Besides；　I　can’t　cut　it。　Only　another　can　do　that。’
　
　‘Good。　I　would　never　cut　it。　I　love　you　the　way　you　are；　power　and　all。　Don’t　ever　let　anyone　cut　it。　I’ve　liked　your　long　hair　ever　since　the　first　day　I　saw　you；　in　the　Hartland　Woods。’
　
　She　smiled　as　she　remembered　that　day。　Richard　had　offered　her　help　in　escaping　from　the　quads。　He　had　saved　her　life。　‘It　seems　so　long　ago。　Will　you　miss　that　life？　Being　a　simple；　carefree　woods　guide？’　She　smiled　coquettishly。　And　single？’
　
　Richard　grinned。　‘Single？　Not　with　you　as　my　wife。　But　a　woods　guide？　Maybe　a　little。’　He　stared　off　at　the　fire。　‘I　guess　that　for　better　or　worse；　I　am　the　true　Seeker。　I　hold　the　Sword　of　Truth；　and　the　responsibilities　that　go　with　it；　whatever　they　are。　Do　you　think　you　can　be　happy　being　the　wife　of　the　Seeker？’
　
　‘I　would　be　happy　living　in　a　tree　stump；　if　you　were　there　with　me。　But　Richard；　I’m　afraid　I’m　still　the　Mother　Confessor。　I　have　responsibilities；　too。’
　
　‘Well；　you　told　me　what　it　meant　to　be　a　Confessor；　how　when　you　touch　someone　with　your　power　it　forever　destroys　who　they　were；　replacing　it　with　absolute；　magical　devotion　to　you；　to　your　wishes；　and　in　that　way　you　can　have　them　confess　the　truth　of　their　crimes；　or　for　that　matter　you　can　make　them　do　anything　you　would　wish；　but　what　other　responsibilities　do　you　have？’
　
　‘I　guess　I　never　told　you　about　everything　else　that　it　means　to　be　the　Mother　Confessor。　It　wasn’t　important　at　the　time；　I　didn’t　think　we　could　ever　be　together。　I　thought　we　would　die；　or　even　if　we　somehow　won；　you　would　go　home　to　Westland　and　I　would　never　see　you　again。’
　
　‘You　mean　the　part　about　it　mea’ning　that　you　are　more　than　a　queen？’
　
　She　nodded。　‘The　Central　Council　of　the　Midlands　in　Ay…dindril　is　made　up　of　representatives　of　the　more　important　lands　of　the　Midlands。　Together；　the　Central　Council　more　or　less　rules　the　Midlands。　Even　though　the　lands　are　independent；　they　still　bow　to　the　word　of　the　Central　Council。　In　that　way；　through　the　Confederation　of　Lands；　mon　goals　are　protected　and　peace　is　maintained。　It　keeps　people　talking　instead　of　fighting。　If　one　land　were　to　attack　an…other；　it　would　be　viewed　as　an　attack　against　unity；　against　all；　and　all　would　put　the　aggression　down。　Kings；　queens；　rulers；　officials；　merchants；　and　others　e　to　the　Central　Council　to　petition　for　what　they　want：　trade　agreements；　boundary　treaties；　accords　dealing　with　magic　…　an　endless　list　of　wants　and　wishes。’
　
　‘I　understand。　It’s　something　like　that　in　Westland。　The　council　rules　in　much　the　same　way。　Although　Westland　isn’t　nearly　big　enough　to　have　kingdoms；　there　are　districts　that　govern　themselves；　but　are　represented　by　councilors　in　Hartland。
　
　‘Since　my　brother　was　a　councilor；　and　then　First　Councilor；　I　was　around　the　dealings　of　government。　I　saw　the　councilors　ing　from　different　places　to　ask　for　things。　Being　a　guide；　I　was　always　leading　them　to　and　from　Hartland。　I　learned　a　lot　about　it　from　talking　to　them。’
　
　Richard　folded　his　arms。　‘So　what　is　the　Mother　Confessor’s　part　in　it？’
　
　‘Well；　the　Central　Council　rules　the　Midlands　。。。’　She　cleared　her　throat　as　she　looked　down　at　her　hands　in　her　lap。　‘。。。　and　the　Mother　Confessor　rules　the　Central　Council。’
　
　His　arms　came　unfolded。　‘You　mean　to　say　that　you　rule　all　the　kings　and　queens？　All　the　lands？　You　rule　the　Midlands？’
　
　‘Well　。。。　yes；　in　a　way；　I　guess。　You　see；　not　all　the　lands　are　represented　on　the　Central　Council。　Some　are　too　small；　like　Queen　Milena’s　Tamarang；　and　the　Mud　People；　and　a　few　others　are　lands　of　magic；　the　land　of　the　night　wisps；　for　example。　The　Mother　Confessor　is　the　advocate　for　these　lesser　lands。　Left　to　their　own　wishes；　the　council　would　decide　to　carve　up　these　smaller　lands。　And　they　have　the　armies　to　do　it　easily。　Only　the　Mother　Confessor　stands　for　those　who　have　no　voice。
　
　‘The　other　problem　is　that　these　lands　are　often　in　disagreement。　Some　have　been　bitter　adversaries　for　as　long　as　anyone　can　remember。　The　council　is　often　deadlocked　as　rulers　or　their　representatives　each　stubbornly　demands　his　own　way；　to　the　detriment　of　the　greater　interests　of　the　Midlands。　The　Mother　Confessor　has　no　interest　but　the　good　of　the　Midlands。
　
　‘Without　leadership　the　different　lands；　through　the　Central　Council；　would　only　be　interested　in　vying　for　power。　The　Mother　Confessor　counters　these　parochial　interests　with　a　larger　view；　with　direction　and　leadership。
　
　‘Just　as　the　Mother　Confessor　is　the　final　arbiter　of　truth　through　her　magic；　she　is　also　the　final　arbiter　of　power。　The　word　of　the　Mother　Confessor　is　law。’
　
　‘So　it　is　you　who　tells　all　the　kings　and　queens；　all　the　lands；　what　to　do？’
　
　She　took　one　of　his　hands　and　held　it。　‘I；　and　most　of　the　Mother　Confessors　before　me；　let　the　Central　Council　decide　for　themselves　what　they　wish；　how　they　want　the　Midlands　ruled。　But　when　they　fail　to　e　to　agreement；　or　to　a　just　agreement；　it　is　to　the　disadvantage　of　those　not　represented。　Only　then　do　I　step　in　and　tell　them　how　it　shall　be。’
　
　‘And　they　always　do　as　you　say？’
　
　‘Always。’
　
　‘Why？’
　
　She　took　a　deep　breath。　‘Well；　they　know　that　if　they　don’t　bow　to　the　Mother　Confessor’s　leadership；　they　will　be　alone　and　vulnerable　to　any　stronger　neighbor　who　craves　power。　There　would　be　war　until　the　strongest　among　them　crushed　all　the　rest；　as　Darken　Rahl’s　father；　Panis　Rahl；　did　in　D’Hara。　They　know　that　ultimately　it　is　in　their　own　interest　to　have　an　independent　council　leader；　who　sides　with　no　land。’
　
　‘But　it’s　not　in　the　best　interest　of　the　strongest。　Something　other　than　a　good　heart　or　mon　sense　must　keep　the　strongest　of　these　lands　in　line。’
　
　She　nodded　with　a　smile。　‘You　understand　the　games　of　power　well。　You　are　right。　They　know　that　if　they　were　bold　enough　to　allow　their　ambitions　a　free　rein；　I；　or　any　of　the　Confessors；　could　take　their　ruler　with　our　magic。　But　there　is　more。　The　wizards　back　the　Mother　Confessor。’
　
　‘I　thought　wizards　didn’t　want　anything　to　do　with　power。’
　
　‘They　don’t；　exactly。　The　threat　of　their　intervention　makes　it　unnecessary。　Wizards　call　it　the　paradox　of　power：　if　you　have　power；　and　are　ready；　able；　and　willing　to　use　it；　you　don’t　need　to　exercise　your　power。　The　lands　know　that　if　they　don’t　work　together；　and　use　the　impartial　leadership　of　the　Mother　Confessor；　then　the　wizards　are　always　in　the　background；　ready　to　teach　the　disadvantages　of　being　unreasonable　or　greedy。
　
　The　whole　thing　is　a　very　plex；　interwoven　relationship；　but　what　it　all　es　down　to　is　that　I　rule　the　Central　Council；　and　if　I’m　not　there　to　do　so；　the　weak；　the　defenseless；　and　the　peaceful　will　eventually　be　overrun；　and　the　rest　will　be　drawn　into　a　war　until　all　but　the　strongest　are　crushed。’
　
　Richard　sank　back　to　contemplate　this　with　a　slight　frown　on　his　face。　She　watched　the　firelight　play　on　his　features。　She　could　feel　what　he　was　thinking　about：　he　was　remembering　the　way　she　had；　with　only　a　gesture　of　her　hand；　demanded　that　Queen　Milena　fall　to　her　knees；　kiss　the　Mother　Confessor’s　hand；　and　swear　loyalty。　She　wished　she　hadn’t　had　to　show　him　the　power　she　wielded；　and　how　much　she　was　feared；　but　what　she　had　done　had　been　necessary。　Some　deferred　only　to　power。　When　necessary；　a　leader　had　to　show　that　power；　or　be　cut　down。
　
　When　he　looked　up　at　last；　his　face　held　a　serious　cast。　‘There　is　going　to　be　trouble。　The　wizards　are　all　dead；　they　killed　themselves　before　they　sent　you　looking　for　Zedd。　The　threat　backing　the　Mother　Confessor　is　gone。　The　other　Confessors　are　all　dead；　killed　by　Darken　Rahl。　You　are　t