tg.stone of tears-第57章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　He　pictured　Kahlan’s　face　in　his　mind。　He　would　have　conquered　the　world　to　see　her　smile　at　him。　To　bask　in　the　warmth　of　her　love。　Richard　studied　her　face　in　his　mind。　He　pictured　her　green　eyes；　her　long　hair。　Her　beautiful　hair。
　
　At　that　thought；　he　remembered　the　lock　of　her　hair　she　had　put　in　his　pocket。　He　pulled　it　out　and　looked　at　it　in　the　moonlight。　It　was　a　circle　she　had　pulled　together　and　tied　in　the　middle　with　the　ribbon　from　her　wedding　dress；　so　that　it　reminded　him　of　a　figure　eight　turned　sideways；　as　he　held　it　in　his　fingers。　Turned　sideways　like　that；　it　was　also　the　symbol　for　infinity。
　
　Richard　rolled　the　lock　of　hair　between　his　finger　and　thumb；　watching　it　as　it　spun。　Kahlan　had　given　it　to　him　to　remember　her　by。　Something　to　remember　her　by。　Because　he　would　never　see　her　again。　Racking　grief　choked　his　breathing。
　
　He　gripped　the　Agiel　as　hard　as　he　could；　until　his　fist　shook　with　the　effort。　The　pain　from　the　Agiel；　and　his　heartache；　twisted　together　into　burning　agony。　He　let　it　distort　his　perception　until　he　could　stand　it　no　longer；　and　then　he　let　it　go　on　longer　yet；　let　it　go　on　until　he　collapsed　to　the　base　of　the　dirt　mound；　barely　conscious。
　
　He　gasped　for　air。　The　pain　had　swept　all　the　thoughts　from　his　mind。　If　only　for　a　few　minutes；　his　mind　had　been　free　of　the　anguish。　He　lay　on　the　ground　a　long　time；　recovering。
　
　When　he　was　finally　able　to　sit　up　once　more；　he　found　the　lock　of　hair　still　in　his　hand。　He　stared　at　it　in　the　moonlight；　remembering　what　Sister　Verna　had　said　to　him；　that　he　had　told　the　Bantak　a　lie。　A　filthy　lie。　Those　had　been　Kahlan’s　words。　She　had　said　that　his　love　for　her　was　a　‘filthy　lie。’　Those　words　hurt　more　than　the　Agiel。
　
　‘It’s　not　a　lie；’　he　whispered。　‘I　would　do　anything　for　you；　Kahlan。’
　
　But　it　wasn’t　good　enough。　Putting　on　the　collar　wasn’t　good　enough。　He　wasn’t　good　enough。　Son　of　a　monster。　He　knew　what　she　wanted。　What　she　really　wanted。　She　wanted　to　be　free　of　him。
　
　She　wanted　him　to　put　on　the　collar　so　he　would　be　taken　away。　So　she　would　be　free。　‘I　would　do　anything　for　you；　Kahlan；’　he　cried。　He　stood　up　and　looked　out　over　the　empty　grassland。　The　dark　horizon　wavered　in　a　watery　blur。　Anything。　Even　this。　I　set　you　free；　my　love。’　Richard　threw　the　lock　of　Kahlan’s　hair　as　far　as　he　could　out　into　the　night。
　
　He　sank　to　his　knees　and　fell　face…first　to　the　ground；　sobbing。　He　cried　until　he　could　cry　no　more。　He　continued　to　lie　on　the　cold　ground；　groaning　in　agony　until　he　realized　he　was　gripping　the　Agiel　again。　He　let　it　go　and　at　last　sat　up；　flopping　back　in　exhaustion　against　the　dirt　mound。　It　was　over；　finished。　He　felt　empty。　Dead。　After　a　time　he　rose　to　his　feet。　He　stood　a　moment；　and　then　slowly　drew　the　Sword　of　Truth。
　
　Its　ring　was　a　soft　song　in　the　cold　air。　The　anger　came　out　with　the　steel；　and　he　let　it　fill　the　void　in　him；　rage　freely　through　him。　He　weled　the　anger　into　himself；　letting　it　fill　him　until　he　was　submerged　in　its　wrath。　His　chest　heaved　with　lethal　need。
　
　His　eyes　glided　to　where　the　Sister　lay　sleeping。　He　could　see　the　dark　hump　of　her　body　as　he　approached　silently。　He　was　a　woods　guide；　he　knew　how　to　stalk　silently。　He　was　good　at　it。
　
　His　eyes　carefully　watched　the　ground　as　he　moved　fluidly；　watched　the　sleeping　form　of　Sister　Verna　as　he　closed　the　distance。　He　didn’t　hurry。　There　was　no　need　to　hurry。　He　had　as　much　time　as　he　needed。　He　tried　to　slow　his　breathing　to　keep　from　making　noise。　He　was　nearly　panting　with　all…consuming　fury。
　
　The　thought　of　wearing　a　collar　again　fed　the　raging　fire　within　him；　fueled　the　inferno。
　
　Rage　from　the　sword’s　magic　seared　through　him　like　molten　metal。　Richard　recognized　the　feeling　all　too　well；　and　gave　himself　over　to　it。　He　was　beyond　reason；　beyond　being　stopped。　Nothing　short　of　blood　would　now　satisfy　the　bringer　of　death。
　
　His　knuckles　were　white　on　the　hilt。　His　muscles　knotted　with　restrained　need　aching　to　be　set　free。　But　they　wouldn’t　be　restrained　for　long。　The　magic　of　the　Sword　of　Truth　screamed　to　do　his　bidding。
　
　Richard　stood；　a　silent　shadow；　over　Sister　Verna；　looking　down　at　her。　The　fury　pounded　in　his　head。　He　drew　the　sword　along　the　inside　of　his　forearm；　wiping　both　sides　in　the　blood；　giving　the　steel　a　taste　of　it。　The　dark　stain　ran　down　the　fuller；　dripping　from　the　tip。　It　ran　wet　and　warm　down　his　arm。　His　chest　heaved　as　he　gripped　the　hilt　in　both　hands　again。
　
　He　felt　the　weight　of　the　collar　around　his　neck；　the　blade　rose；　glinting　in　the　moonlight。
　
　He　watched　the　sleeping　Sister　at　his　feet。　She　was　drawn　up　almost　into　a　ball。　She　was　cold；　and　she　shivered　as　she　slept。
　
　He　stood　with　the　blade　raised；　watching　her　as　he　gritted　his　teeth　and　shook　with　raging　need。　Kahlan　didn’t　want　him。　Son　of　a　monster。
　
　No。　Just　monster。　He　saw　himself　standing　over　the　sleeping　woman；　his　sword　in　the　air；　ready　to　kill。
　
　He　was　the　monster。
　
　That　was　what　Kahlan　saw。　And　she　had　sent　him　away　in　a　collar　to　be　tortured。　Because　he　was　a　monster　that　needed　to　be　collared；　a　beast。
　
　Tears　ran　down　his　face。　The　sword　slowly　sank　until　the　tip　touched　the　ground。　He　stood　staring　at　the　Sister　as　she　slept；　shivering　with　the　cold。　He　stood　a　long　time；　watching。
　
　Richard　finally　slid　the　sword　quietly　back　into　its　scabbard。　He　retrieved　his　blanket　and　laid　it　over　Sister　Verna；　tucking　it　carefully　around　her；　being　gentle　so　as　not　to　wake　her。　He　sat　and　watched　until　she　stopped　shivering　and　then　he　lay　down；　wrapping　himself　in　his　cloak。
　
　He　was　exhausted；　and　he　hurt　all　over；　but　he　couldn’t　sleep。　He　knew　they　were　going　to　hurt　him。　That　was　what　the　collar　was　for。　When　she　got　him　to　the　palace；　they　were　going　to　hurt　him。
　
　What　difference　did　it　make？
　
　Memories　danced　and　darted　through　his　mind；　memories　of　what　Denna　had　done　to　him。　He　remembered　the　pain；　the　helpless　agony；　the　blood：　his　blood。
　
　The　visions　went　on　and　on。　As　long　as　he　lived　he　would　never　be　able　to　forget　them。　It　had　only　just　ended；　and　now　it　was　going　to　start　all　over　again。　There　would　never　be　an　end　to　it。
　
　There　was　only　one　thought　in　all　the　turmoil　of　his　mind　that　forted　him。　He　had　learned　from　Sister　Verna　that　he　was　wrong　about　the　Keeper　escaping。　That　meant　Kahlan　was　safe。　She　was　safe；　and　that　was　all　that　really　mattered。　He　tried　to　keep　everything　else　away　and　think　only　of　that。　That　thought　allowed　him　to　drift；　at　last；　into　sleep。
　
　
　CHAPTER　19
　
　His　eyes　opened。　The　sun　was　just　breaking　the　horizon。　When　he　sat　up；　the　pain　from　his　burn　caught　his　breath　short。　He　put　his　hand　over　his　shirt；　where　the　bandage　was；　and　held　it　there　until　that　pain　subsided。　The　residual　effects　of　the　Agiel　left　the　rest　of　him　feeling　as　if　he　had　been　beaten　with　a　club。　He　ached　everywhere。　He　remembered　from　the　time　when　Denna　had　‘trained’　him　using　the　Agiel；　feeling　a　lot　worse　when　he　awoke；　only　to　have　her　start　using　the　Agiel　on　him　all　over　again。
　
　Sister　Verna　was　sitting　on　her　blanket；　her　legs　folded　beneath　her；　watching　him　as　she　chewed　something。　She　had　her　cloak　around　her　shoulders　with　the　hood　down。　Her　curly　brown　hair　looked　freshly　brushed。
　
　She　had　neatly　folded　Richard’s　blanket；　and　placed　it　back　next　to　where　he　slept。　She　said　nothing　about　it。　Richard　pushed　himself　to　his　feet；　taking　a　moment　to　steady　himself　and　stretch　his　hurting；　cramped　muscles。　The　sky　was　a　clear；　cold；　deep　blue。　The　grass　smelled　sweet　and　damp　with　dew。　The　vapor　of　his　breath　drifted　lazily　in　the　still；　crisp　air。
　
　‘I’ll　go　saddle　the　horses；　and　we　can　be　on　our　way。’
　
　‘Don’t　you　want　something　to　eat？’
　
　He　shook　his　head。　‘I’m　not　hungry。’
　
　‘What　happened　to　your　arm？’　she　asked　without　looking　up。
　
　There　was　dark；　dried　blood　all　down　his　arm　and　hand。　‘I　was　polishing　my　sword。　It　was　dark。　I　cut　myself。　It’s　nothing。’
　
　‘I　see。’　She　glanced　up　as　he　scratched　the　stubble　on　his　face。　‘I　hope　you　are　more　careful　when　you　shave　your　neck。’
　
　Richard　decided　in　that　instant　that　as　long　as　he　was　held　captive　in　a　collar；　he　would　not　shave。　It　would　be　his　way　of　proclaiming　to　them　that　a　collar　was　unjust；　that　he　knew　he　was　nothing　more　than　their　prisoner；　and　that　he　would　not　believe　their　spurious　protestations　to　the　contrary。　There　could　be　no　justification　for　a　collar；　and　there　would　be　no　promising　of　that　basic　truth　…　none；　not　ever。
　
　Richard　glowered　at　the　Sister。　‘Prisoners　don’t　shave。’　He　turned　toward　the　horses。
　
　‘Richard。’　He　looked　over　his　shoulder。　‘Sit　down。’　Her　voice　was　gentle；　but　he　glared　at　the　order　nonetheless。　She　gestured　to　a　place　in　front　of　her。　‘Sit　down。　I　was　thinking　about　what　you　said。　You　are　here；　I　am　here。　Sit　down　and　I　will　begin　teaching　you　how　to　control　the　gift。’
　
　He　was　caught　off…guard。　‘Now？　Here？’
　
　‘Yes。　e　and　sit。’
　
　He　didn’t　really　care　about　using　the　gift；　he　hated　magic。　He　had　only　asked　about　it　before　because　he　had　been　trying　to　ease　the　tension。　His　eyes　darted　about　before　he　finally　sat　and　folded　his　legs；　imitating　the　way　she　was　sitting。
　
　‘What　do　you　want　me　to　do？’
　
　‘There　is　much　to　teach　you　about　using　the　gift。　You　will　learn　about　balance　in　all　things；　especially　magic。　You　must　heed　all　our　warnings；　and　follow　what　we　tell　you。　There　are　dangers　to　using　magic。　Perhaps　you　already　know　this　from　using　the　Sword　of　Truth；　yes？’　Richard　didn’t　move。　She　went　on。　There　is　greater　danger　in　using　the　gift。　It　can　have　unanticipated　results。　Results　that　can　be　disastrous。’
　
　‘I　have　already　used　the　gift。　You　said　I　used　it　in　three　specific　ways。’
　
　She　leaned　forward　a　little。　And　look　what　happened。　It　brought　an　unanticipated　result。　It　resulted　in　you　having　that　collar　around　your　neck。’
　
　Surprised；　Richard　stared　at　her。　‘That　wasn’t　a　result　of　my　using　the　gift。　You　were　already　looking　for　me；　you　said　so。　If　I　hadn’t　used　the　gift；　the　result　would　have　been　the　same。’
　
　Sister　Verna　slowly　shook　her　head；　her　eyes　stayed　on　his。　‘We　had　been　looking　for　you　for　years。　Something　hid　you　from　us。　If　you　hadn’t　used　the　gift　in　the　ways　you　did；　I　doubt　we　ever　would　have　found　you。　Using　the　gift　put　that　collar　around　your　neck。’
　
　Years。　They　had　been　searching　for　him　for　years。　All　that　time　he　had　lived　peaceably　in　Westland；　first　with　his　brother　and　father　and　Zedd；　and　then　on　his　own　as　a　woods　guide；　they　had　been　looking　for　him；　and　he　never　knew　it。　The　thought　gave　him　a　chill。　He　brought　it　on　himself；　by　using　magic。　He　hated　magic。
　
　‘Although　I　would　agree　that　that　is　disastrous；　for　me；　how　could　you？　It’s　what　you　want。’
　
　‘It　is　what　we　had　to　do。　But　you　have　threatened　my　life。　You　have　threatened　the　lives　of　anyone　else　who　keeps　that　collar　around　your　neck。　That　would　be　all　the　Sisters　of　the　Light。　I　never　take　the　warnings　of　wizards；　even　untrained　wizards；　lightly。　Your　use　of