over the teacups-第27章

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deeply　absorbed　in　conversation　they　hardly　noticed　me。　　He　has　been

talking　over　the　matter　with　Number　Five；　who　is　just　the　kind　of

person　for　a　confidante。



〃I　know　I　feel　very　lonely；〃　he　was　saying；　〃and　I　only　wish　I　felt

sure　that　I　could　make　another　person　happy。　　My　life　would　be

transfigured　if　I　could　find　such　a　one；　whom　I　could　love　well

enough　to　give　my　life　to　her；for　her；　if　that　were　needful；　and

who　felt　an　affinity　for　me；　if　any　one　could。〃



〃And　why　not　your　English　maiden？〃　said　Number　Five。



〃What　makes　you　think　I　care　more　for　her　than　for　her　American

friend？〃　said　the　Tutor。



〃Why；　have　n't　I　met　you　walking　with　her；　and　did　n't　you　both　seem

greatly　interested　in　the　subject　you　were　discussing？　　I　thought；　of

course；　it　was　something　more　or　less　sentimental　that　you　were

talking　about。〃



〃I　was　explaining　that　'enclitic　de'　in　Browning's　Grammarian's

Funeral。　　I　don't　think　there　was　anything　very　sentimental　about

that。　　She　is　an　inquisitive　creature；　that　English　girl。　　She　is

very　fond　of　asking　me　questions；in　fact；　both　of　them　are。　　There

is　one　curious　difference　between　them：　the　English　girl　settles　down

into　her　answers　and　is　quiet；　the　American　girl　is　never　satisfied

with　yesterday's　conclusions；　she　is　always　reopening　old　questions

in　the　light　of　some　new　fact　or　some　novel　idea。　　I　suppose　that

people　bred　from　childhood　to　lean　their　backs　against　the　wall　of

the　Creed　and　the　church　catechism　find　it　hard　to　sit　up　straight　on

the　republican　stool；　which　obliges　them　to　stiffen　their　own　backs。

Which　of　these　two　girls　would　be　the　safest　choice　for　a　young　man？

I　should　really　like　to　hear　what　answer　yon　would　make　if　I

consulted　you　seriously；　with　a　view　to　my　own　choice；on　the

supposition　that　there　was　a　fair　chance　that　either　of　them　might　be

won。〃



〃The　one　you　are　in　love　with；〃　answered　Number　Five。



〃But　what　if　it　were　a　case　of　'How　happy　could　I　be　with　either'？

Which　offers　the　best　chance　of　happiness；a　marriage　between　two

persons　of　the　same　country；　or　a　marriage　where　one　of　the　parties

is　of　foreign　birth？　　Everything　else　being　equal；　which　is　best　for

an　American　to　marry；　an　American　or　an　English　girl？　　We　need　not

confine　the　question　to　those　two　young　persons；　but　put　it　more

generally。〃



〃There　are　reasons　on　both　sides；〃　answered　Number　Five。　　〃I　have

often　talked　this　matter　over　with　The　Dictator。　　This　is　the　way　he

speaks　about　it。　　English　blood　is　apt　to　tell　well　on　the　stock　upon

which　it　is　engrafted。　　Over　and　over　again　he　has　noticed　finely

grown　specimens　of　human　beings；　and　on　inquiry　has　found　that　one　or

both　of　the　parents　or　grandparents　were　of　British　origin。　　The

chances　are　that　the　descendants　of　the　imported　stock　will　be　of　a

richer　organization；　more　florid；　more　muscular；　with　mellower

voices；　than　the　native　whose　blood　has　been　unmingled　with　that　of

new　emigrants　since　the　earlier　colonial　times。　So　talks　The

Dictator。　I　myself　think　the　American　will　find　his　English　wife

concentrates　herself　more　readily　and　more　exclusively　on　her

husband；for　the　obvious　reason　that　she　is　obliged　to　live　mainly

in　him。　　I　remember　hearing　an　old　friend　of　my　early　days　say；

'A　woman　does　not　bear　transplanting。'　　It　does　not　do　to　trust　these

old　sayings；　and　yet　they　almost　always　have　some　foundation　in　the

experience　of　mankind；　which　has　repeated　them　from　generation　to

generation。　　Happy　is　the　married　woman　of　foreign　birth　who　can　say

to　her　husband；　as　Andromache　said　to　Hector；　after　enumerating　all

the　dear　relatives　she　had　lost；



　　　　'Yet　while　my　hector　still　survives；

　　　　　I　see　My　father；　mother；　brethren；　all　in　thee！'



How　many　a　sorrowing　wife；　exiled　from　her　native　country；　dreams　of

the　mother　she　shall　see　no　more！　　How　many　a　widow；　in　a　strange

land；　wishes　that　her　poor；　worn…out　body　could　be　laid　among　her

kinsfolk；　in　the　little　churchyard　where　she　used　to　gather　daisies

in　her　childhood！　　It　takes　a　great　deal　of　love　to　keep　down　the　°

climbing　sorrow'　that　swells　up　in　a　woman's　throat　when　such

memories　seize　upon　her；　in　her　moments　of　desolation。　　But　if　a

foreign…born　woman　does　willingly　give　up　all　for　a　man；　and　never

looks　backward；　like　Lot's　wife；　she　is　a　prize　that　it　is　worth

running　a　risk　to　gain；that　is；　if　she　has　the　making　of　a　good

woman　in　her；　and　a　few　years　will　go　far　towards　naturalizing　her。〃



The　Tutor　listened　to　Number　Five　with　much　apparent　interest。　　〃And

now；〃　he　said；　〃what　do　you　think　of　her　companion？〃



〃A　charming　girl　for　a　man　of　a　quiet；　easy　temperament。　　The　great

trouble　is　with　her　voice。　　It　is　pitched　a　full　note　too　high。　　It

is　aggressive；　disturbing；　and　would　wear　out　a　nervous　man　without

his　ever　knowing　what　was　the　matter　with　him。　　A　good　many　crazy

Northern　people　would　recover　their　reason　if　they　could　live　for　a

year　or　two　among　the　blacks　of　the　Southern　States。　　But　the

penetrating；　perturbing　quality　of　the　voices　of　many　of　our　Northern

women　has　a　great　deal　to　answer　for　in　the　way　of　determining　love

and　friendship。　　You　remember　that　dear　friend　of　ours　who　left　us

not　long　since？　　If　there　were　more　voices　like　hers；　the　world　would

be　a　different　place　to　live　in。　　I　do　not　believe　any　man　or　woman

ever　came　within　the　range　of　those　sweet；　tranquil　tones　without

being　hushed；　captivated；　entranced　I　might　almost　say；　by　their

calming；　soothing　influence。　　Can　you　not　imagine　the　tones　in　which

those　words；　'Peace；　be　still；'　were　spoken？　　Such　was　the　effect　of

the　voice　to　which　but　a　few　weeks　ago　we　were　listening。　　It　is　hard

to　believe　that　it　has　died　out　of　human　consciousness。　　Can　such　a

voice　be　spared　from　that　world　of　happiness　to　which　we　fondly　look


forward；　where　we　love　to　dream；　if　we　do　not　believe　with　assured

conviction；　that　whatever　is　loveliest　in　this　our　mortal　condition

shall　be　with　us　again　as　an　undying　possession？　　Your　English　friend

has　a　very　agreeable　voice；　round；　mellow；　cheery；　and　her

articulation　is　charming。　　Other　things　being　equal；　I　think　you；　who

are；　perhaps；　oversensitive；　would　live　from　two　to　three　years

longer　with　her　than　with　the　other。　　I　suppose　a　man　who　lived

within　hearing　of　a　murmuring　brook　would　find　his　life　shortened　if

a　sawmill　were　set　up　within　earshot　of　his　dwelling。〃



〃And　so　you　advise　me　to　make　love　to　the　English　girl；　do　you？〃

asked　the　Tutor。



Number　Five　laughed。　　It　was　not　a　loud　laugh；　she　never　laughed

noisily；　it　was　not　a　very　hearty　laugh；　the　idea　did　not　seem　to

amuse　her　much。



〃No；〃　she　said；　〃I　won't　take　the　responsibility。　　Perhaps　this　is　a

case　in　which　the　true　reading　of　Gay's　line　would　be



　　　　　　　　　　How　happy　could　I　be　with　neither。



There　are　several　young　women　in　the　world　besides　our　two　Annexes。〃



I　question　whether　the　Tutor　had　asked　those　questions　very

seriously；　and　I　doubt　if　Number　Five　thought　he　was　very　much　in

earnest。





One　of　The　Teacups　reminded　me　that　I　had　promised　to　say　something

of　my　answers　to　certain　questions。　　So　I　began　at　once：



I　have　given　the　name　of　brain…tappers　to　the　literary　operatives　who

address　persons　whose　names　are　well　known　to　the　public；　asking

their　opinions　or　their　experiences　on　subjects　which　are　at　the　time

of　general　interest。　　They　expect　a　literary　man　or　a　scientific

expert　to　furnish　them　materials　for　symposia　and　similar　articles；

to　be　used　by　them　for　their　own　special　purposes。　　Sometimes　they

expect　to　pay　for　the　information　furnished　them；　at　other　times；　the

honor　of　being　included　in　a　list　of　noted　personages　who　have

received　similar　requests　is　thought　sufficient　compensation。　　The

object　with　which　the　brain…tapper　puts　his　questions　may　be　a　purely

benevolent　and　entirely　disinterested　one。　　Such　was　the　object　of

some　of　those　questions　which　I　have　received　and　answered。　　There

are　other　cases；　in　which　the　brain…tapper　is　acting　much　as　those

persons　do　who　stop　a　physician　in　the　street　to　talk　with　him　about

their　livers　or　stomachs；　or　other　internal　arrangements；　instead　of

going　to　his　office　and　consulting　him；　expecting　to　pay　for　his

advice。　　Others　are　more　like　those　busy　women　who；　having　the

generous　intention　of　making　a　handsome　present　to　their　pastor；　at

as　little　expense　as　may　be；　send　to　all　their　neighbors　and

acquaintances　for　scraps　of　various　materials；　out　of　which　the

imposing　〃bedspread〃　or　counterpane　is　to　be　elaborated。



That　is　all　very　well　so　long　as　old　pieces　of　stuff　are　all　they

call　for；　but　it　is　a　different　matter　to　ask　for　clippings　out　of

new　and　uncut　rolls　of　cloth。　　So　it　is　one　thing　to　ask　an　author

for　liberty　to　use　extracts　from　his　published　writings；　and　it　is　a

very　different　thing　to　expect　him　to　write　expressly　for　the

editor's　or　compiler's　piece　of　literary　patchwork。



I　have　received　many　questions　within　the　last　year　or　two；　some　of

which　I　am　willing　to　answer；　but　prefer　to　answer　at　my　own　time；　in

my　own　way；　through　my　customary　channel　of　communication　with　the

public。　　I　hope　I　shall　not　be　misunderstood　as　implying　any　reproach

against　the　inquirers　who；　in　order　to　get　at　facts　which　ought　to　be

known；　apply　to　all　whom　they　can　reach　for　information。　　Their

inquisitiveness　is　not　always　agreeable　or　welcome；　but　we　ought　to

be　glad　that　there　are　mousing　fact…hunters　to　worry　us　with　queries

to　which；　for　the　sake　of　the　public；　we　are　bound　to　give　our

attention。　　Let　me　begin　with　my　brain…tappers。



And　first；　as　the　papers　have　given　publicity　to　the　fact　that　I；　The

Dictator　of　this　tea…table；　have　reached　the　age　of　threescore　years

and　twenty；　I　am　requested　to　give　information　as　to　how　I　managed　to

do　it；　and　to　explain　just　how　they　can　go　and　do　likewise。　　I　think

I　can　lay　down　a　few　rules　that　will　help　them　to　the　desired　result。

There　is　no　certainty　in　these　biological　problems；　but　there　are

reasonable　probabilities　upon　which　it　is　safe　to　act。



The　first　thing　to　be　done　is；　some　years　before　birth；　to　advertise

for　a　couple　of　parents　both　belonging　to　long…lived　families。

Especially　let　the　mother　come　of　a　race　in　which　octogenarians　and

nonagenarians　are　very　common　phenomena。　　There　are　practical

difficulties　in　following　out　this　suggestion；　but　possibly　the

forethought　of　your　progenitors；　or　that　concurrence　of　circumstances

which　we　call　accident；　may　have　arranged　this　for　you。



Do　not　think　that　a　robust　organization　is　any　warrant　of　long　life；

nor　that　a　frail　and　slight　bodily　constitution　necessarily　means

scanty　length　of　days。　　Many　a　strong…limbed　young　man　and　many　a

blooming　young　woman　have　I　seen　failing　and　dropping　away　in　or

before　middle　life；　and　many　a　delicate　and　slig