over the teacups-第28章

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before　middle　life；　and　many　a　delicate　and　slightly　constituted

person　outliving　the　athletes　and　the　beauties　of　their　generation。

Whether　the　excessive　development　of　the　muscular　system　is

compatible　with　the　best　condition　of　general　health　is；　I　think；

more　than　doubtful。　　The　muscles　are　great　sponges　that　suck　up　and

make　use　of　large　quantities　of　blood；　and　the　other　organs　must　be

liable　to　suffer　for　want　of　their　share。



One　of　the　Seven　Wise　Men　of　Greece　boiled　his　wisdom　down　into　two

words；　NOTHING　TOO　MUCH。　　It　is　a　rule　which　will　apply　to　food；

exercise；　labor；　sleep；　and；　in　short；　to　every　part　of　life。　　This

is　not　so　very　difficult　a　matter　if　one　begins　in　good　season　and

forms　regular　habits。　　But　what　if　I　should　lay　down　the　rule；　Be

cheerful；　take　all　the　troubles　and　trials　of　life　with　perfect

equanimity　and　a　smiling　countenance？　　Admirable　directions！　　Your

friend；　the　curly…haired　blonde；　with　florid　complexion；　round

cheeks；　the　best　possible　digestion　and　respiration；　the　stomach　of

an　ostrich　and　the　lungs　of　a　pearl…diver；　finds　it　perfectly　easy　to

carry　them　into　practice。　　You；　of　leaden　complexion；　with　black　and

lank　hair；　lean；　hollow…eyed；　dyspeptic；　nervous；　find　it　not　so　easy

to　be　always　hilarious　and　happy。　　The　truth　is　that　the　persons　of

that　buoyant　disposition　which　comes　always　heralded　by　a　smile；　as　a

yacht　driven　by　a　favoring　breeze　carries　a　wreath　of　sparkling　foam

before　her；　are　born　with　their　happiness　ready　made。　　They　cannot

help　being　cheerful　any　more　than　their　saturnine　fellow…mortal　can

help　seeing　everything　through　the　cloud　he　carries　with　him。　　I　give

you　the　precept；　then；　Be　cheerful；　for　just　what　it　is　worth；　as　I

would　recommend　to　you　to　be　six　feet；　or　at　least　five　feet　ten；　in

stature。　　You　cannot　settle　that　matter　for　yourself；　but　you　can

stand　up　straight；　and　give　your　five　feet　five　its　full　value。

You　can　help　along　a　little　by　wearing　high…heeled　shoes。　　So　you　can

do　something　to　encourage　yourself　in　serenity　of　aspect　and

demeanor；　keeping　your　infirmities　and　troubles　in　the　background

instead　of　making　them　the　staple　of　your　conversation。　　This　piece

of　advice；　if　followed；　may　be　worth　from　three　to　five　years　of　the

fourscore　which　you　hope　to　attain。



If；　on　the　other　hand；　instead　of　going　about　cheerily　in　society；

making　the　best　of　everything　and　as　far　as　possible　forgetting　your

troubles；　you　can　make　up　your　mind　to　economize　all　your　stores　of

vital　energy；　to　hoard　your　life　as　a　miser　hoards　his　money；　you

will　stand　a　fair　chance　of　living　until　you　are　tired　of　life；

fortunate　if　everybody　is　not　tired　of　you。



One　of　my　prescriptions　for　longevity　may　startle　you　somewhat。　　It

is　this：　Become　the　subject　of　a　mortal　disease。　　Let　half　a　dozen

doctors　thump　you；　and　knead　you；　and　test　you　in　every　possible　way；

and　render　their　verdict　that　you　have　an　internal　complaint；　they

don't　know　exactly　what　it　is；　but　it　will　certainly　kill　you　by　and

by。　　Then　bid　farewell　to　the　world　and　shut　yourself　up　for　an

invalid。　　If　you　are　threescore　years　old　when　you　begin　this　mode　of

life；　you　may　very　probably　last　twenty　years；　and　there　you　are；an

octogenarian。　　In　the　mean　time；　your　friends　outside　have　been

dropping　off；　one　after　another；　until　you　find　yourself　almost

alone；　nursing　your　mortal　complaint　as　if　it　were　your　baby；　hugging

it　and　kept　alive　by　it；if　to　exist　is　to　live。　　Who　has　not　seen

cases　like　this；a　man　or　a　woman　shutting　himself　or　herself　up；

visited　by　a　doctor　or　a　succession　of　doctors　（I　remember　that　once；

in　my　earlier　experience；　I　was　the　twenty…seventh　physician　who　had

been　consulted）；　always　taking　medicine；　until　everybody　was　reminded

of　that　impatient　speech　of　a　relative　of　one　of　these　invalid

vampires　who　live　on　the　blood　of　tired…out　attendants；　〃I　do　wish

she　would　get　wellor　something〃？　　Persons　who　are　shut　up　in　that

way；　confined　to　their　chambers；　sometimes　to　their　beds；　have　a　very

small　amount　of　vital　expenditure；　and　wear　out　very　little　of　their

living　substance。　　They　are　like　lamps　with　half　their　wicks　picked

down；　and　will　continue　to　burn　when　other　lamps　have　used　up　all

their　oil。　　An　insurance　office　might　make　money　by　taking　no　risks

except　on　lives　of　persons　suffering　from　mortal　disease。　　It　is　on

this　principle　of　economizing　the　powers　of　life　that　a　very　eminent

American　physician；　Dr。　Weir　Mitchell；　a　man　of　genius；has

founded　his　treatment　of　certain　cases　of　nervous　exhaustion。



What　have　I　got　to　say　about　temperance；　the　use　of　animal　food；　and

so　forth？　　These　are　questions　asked　me。　　Nature　has　proved　a　wise

teacher；　as　I　think；　in　my　own　case。　　The　older　I　grow；　the　less　use

I　make　of　alcoholic　stimulants。　　In　fact；　I　hardly　meddle　with　them

at　all；　except　a　glass　or　two　of　champagne　occasionally。　　I　find　that

by　far　the　best　borne　of　all　drinks　containing　alcohol。　　I　do　not

suppose　my　experience　can　be　the　foundation　of　a　universal　rule。　　Dr。

Holyoke；　who　lived　to　be　a　hundred；　used　habitually；　in　moderate

quantities；　a　mixture　of　cider；　water；　and　rum。　　I　think；　as　one

grows　older；　less　food；　especially　less　animal　food；　is　required。

But　old　people　have　a　right　to　be　epicures；　if　they　can　afford　it。

The　pleasures　of　the　palate　are　among　the　last　gratifications　of　the

senses　allowed　them。　　We　begin　life　as　little　cannibals；feeding　on

the　flesh　and　blood　of　our　mothers。　　We　range　through　all　the

vegetable　and　animal　products；　of　nature；　and　I　suppose；　if　the

second　childhood　could　return　to　the　food　of　the　first；　it　might

prove　a　wholesome　diet。



What　do　I　say　to　smoking？　　I　cannot　grudge　an　old　man　his　pipe；　but　I

think　tobacco　often　does　a　good　deal　of　harm　to　the　health；to　the

eyes　especially；　to　the　nervous　system　generally；　producing　headache；

palpitation；　and　trembling。　　I　myself　gave　it　up　many　years　ago。

Philosophically　speaking；　I　think　self…narcotization　and　self…

alcoholization　are　rather　ignoble　substitutes　for　undisturbed　self…

consciousness　and　unfettered　self…control。



Here　is　another　of　those　brain…tapping　letters；　of　similar　character；

which　I　have　no　objection　to　answering　at　my　own　time　and　in　the

place　which　best　suits　me。　　As　the　questions　must　be　supposed　to　be

asked　with　a　purely　scientific　and　philanthropic　purpose；　it　can　make

little　difference　when　and　where　they　are　answered。　　For　myself；　I

prefer　our　own　tea…table　to　the　symposia　to　which　I　am　often　invited。

I　do　not　quarrel　with　those　who　invite　their　friends　to　a　banquet　to

which　many　strangers　are　expected　to　contribute。　　It　is　a　very　easy

and　pleasant　way　of　giving　an　entertainment　at　little　cost　and　with

no　responsibility。　　Somebody　has　been　writing　to　me　about　〃Oatmeal

and　Literature；〃　and　somebody　else　wants　to　know　whether　I　have　found

character　influenced　by　diet；　also　whether；　in　my　opinion；　oatmeal　is

preferable　to　pie　as　an　American　national　food。



In　answer　to　these　questions；　I　should　say　that　I　have　my　beliefs　and

prejudices；　but　if　I　were　pressed　hard　for　my　proofs　of　their

correctness；　I　should　make　but　a　poor　show　in　the　witness…box。　　Most

assuredly　I　do　believe　that　body　and　mind　are　much　influenced　by　the

kind　of　food　habitually　depended　upon。　　I　am　persuaded　that　a　too

exclusively　porcine　diet　gives　a　bristly　character　to　the　beard　and

hair；　which　is　borrowed　from　the　animal　whose　tissues　these　stiff…

bearded　compatriots　of　ours　have　too　largely　assimilated。　　I　can

never　stray　among　the　village　people　of　our　windy　capes　without　now

and　then　coming　upon　a　human　being　who　looks　as　if　he　had　been　split；

salted；　and　dried；　like　the　salt…fish　which　has　built　up　his　arid

organism。　　If　the　body　is　modified　by　the　food　which　nourishes　it；

the　mind　and　character　very　certainly　will　be　modified　by　it　also。

We　know　enough　of　their　close　connection　with　each　other　to　be　sure

of　that；　without　any　statistical　observations　to　prove　it。



Do　you　really　want　to　know　〃whether　oatmeal　is　preferable　to　pie　as

an　American　national　food〃？　　I　suppose　the　best　answer　I　can　give　to

your　question　is　to　tell　you　what　is　my　own　practice。　　Oatmeal　in　the

morning；　as　an　architect　lays　a　bed　of　concrete　to　form　a　base　for

his　superstructure。　　Pie　when　I　can　get　it；　that　is；　of　the　genuine

sort；　for　I　am　not　patriotic　enough　to　think　very　highly　of　the

article　named　after　the　Father　of　his　Country；　who　was　first　in　war；

first　in　peace；not　first　in　pies；　according　to　my　standard。



There　is　a　very　odd　prejudice　against　pie　as　an　article　of　diet。　　It

is　common　to　hear　every　form　of　bodily　degeneracy　and　infirmity

attributed　to　this　particular　favorite　food。　　I　see　no　reason　or

sense　in　it。　　Mr。　　Emerson　believed　in　pie；　and　was　almost　indignant

when　a　fellow…traveller　refused　the　slice　he　offered　him。　　〃Why；

Mr。________　；〃　said　be；　〃what　is　pie　made　for！〃　　If　every　Green

Mountain　boy　has　not　eaten　a　thousand　times　his　weight　in　apple；

pumpkin；　squash；　and　mince　pie；　call　me　a　dumpling。　　And　Colonel

Ethan　Allen　was　one　of　them；Ethan　Allen；　who；　as　they　used　to　say；

could　wrench　off　the　head　of　a　wrought　nail　with　his　teeth。



If　you　mean　to　keep　as　well　as　possible；　the　less　you　think　about

your　health　the　better。　　You　know　enough　not　to　eat　or　drink　what　you

have　found　does　not　agree　with　you。　　You　ought　to　know　enough　not　to

expose　yourself　needlessly　to　draughts。　　If　you　take　a

〃constitutional；〃　walk　with　the　wind　when　you　can；　and　take　a　closed

car　against　it　if　you　can　get　one。　　Walking　against　the　wind　is　one

of　the　most　dangerous　kinds　of　exposure；　if　you　are　sensitive　to

cold。　　But　except　a　few　simple　rules　such　as　I　have　just　given；　let

your　health　take　care　of　itself　so　long　as　it　behaves　decently。　　If

you　want　to　be　sure　not　to　reach　threescore　and　twenty；　get　a　little

box　of　homoeopathic　pellets　and　a　little　book　of　homeopathic

prescriptions。　　I　had　a　poor　friend　who　fell　into　that　way；　and

became　at　last　a　regular　Hahnemaniac。　　He　left　a　box　of　his　little

jokers；　which　at　last　came　into　my　hands。　　The　poor　fellow　had

cultivated　symptoms　as　other　people　cultivate　roses　or

chrysanthemums。　　What　a　luxury　of　choice　his　imagination　presented　to

him！　　When　one　watches　for　symptoms；　every　organ　in　the　body　is　ready

to　put　in　its　claim。　　By　and　by　a　real　illness　attacked　him；　and　the

box　of　little　pellets　was　shut　up；　to　minister　to　his　fancied　evils

no　longer。



Let　me　tell　you　one　thing。　　I　think　if　patients　and　physicians　were

in　the　habit　of　recognizing　the　fact　I　am　going　to　mention；　both

would　be　gainers。　　The　law　I　refer　to　must　be　familiar　to　all

observing　physicians；　and　to　all　intelligent　persons　who　have

observed　their　own　bodily　and　mental　conditions。　　This　is　the　curve

of　health。　　It　is　a　mistake　to　suppose　that　the　normal　state　of

health　is　represented　by　a