over the teacups-第8章

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wanting　in　interest。　　We　are　all；　of　course；　watching　them；　and

curious　to　know　whether　we　are　to　have　a　romance　or　not。　　Here　is　one

of　them；　others　will　show　themselves　presently。



I　cannot　say　just　how　old　the　Tutor　is；　but　I　do　not　detect　a　gray

hair　in　his　head。　　My　sight　is　not　so　good　as　it　was；　however；　and　he

may　have　turned　the　sharp　corner　of　thirty；　and　even　have　left　it　a

year　or　two　behind　him。　　More　probably　he　is　still　in　the　twenties；

say　twenty…eight　or　twenty…nine。　　He　seems　young；　at　any　rate；

excitable；　enthusiastic；　imaginative；　but　at　the　same　time　reserved。

I　am　afraid　that　he　is　a　poet。　　When　I　say　〃I　am　afraid；〃　you　wonder

what　I　mean　by　the　expression。　　I　may　take　another　opportunity　to

explain　and　justify　it；　I　will　only　say　now　that　I　consider　the　Muse

the　most　dangerous　of　sirens　to　a　young　man　who　has　his　way　to　make

in　the　world。　　Now　this　young　man；　the　Tutor；　has；　I　believe；　a

future　before　him。　　He　was　born　for　a　philosopher；so　I　read　his

horoscope；but　he　has　a　great　liking　for　poetry　and　can　write　well

in　verse。　　We　have　had　a　number　of　poems　offered　for　our

entertainment；　which　I　have　commonly　been　requested　to　read。　　There

has　been　some　little　mystery　about　their　authorship；　but　it　is

evident　that　they　are　not　all　from　the　same　hand。　　Poetry　is　as

contagious　as　measles；　and　if　a　single　case　of　it　break　out　in　any

social　circle；　or　in　a　school；　there　are　certain　to　be　a　number　of

similar　cases；　some　slight；　some　serious；　and　now　and　then　one　so

malignant　that　the　subject　of　it　should　be　put　on　a　spare　diet　of

stationery；　say　from　two　to　three　penfuls　of　ink　and　a　half　sheet　of

notepaper　per　diem。　　If　any　of　our　poetical　contributions　are

presentable；　the　reader　shall　have　a　chance　to　see　them。



It　must　be　understood　that　our　company　is　not　invariably　made　up　of

the　same　persons。　　The　Mistress；　as　we　call　her；　is　expected　to　be

always　in　her　place。　　I　make　it　a　rule　to　be　present。　　The　Professor

is　almost　as　sure　to　be　at　the　table　as　I　am。　　We　should　hardly　know

what　to　do　without　Number　Five。　　It　takes　a　good　deal　of　tact　to

handle　such　a　little　assembly　as　ours；　which　is　a　republic　on　a　small

scale；　for　all　that　they　give　me　the　title　of　Dictator；　and　Number

Five　is　a　great　help　in　every　social　emergency。　　She　sees　when　a

discussion　tends　to　become　personal；　and　heads　off　the　threatening

antagonists。　　She　knows　when　a　subject　has　been　knocking　about　long

enough　and　dexterously　shifts　the　talk　to　another　track。　　It　is　true

that　I　am　the　one　most　frequently　appealed　to　as　the　highest　tribunal

in　doubtful　cases；　but　I　often　care　more　for　Number　Five's　opinion

than　I　do　for　my　own。　　Who　is　this　Number　Five；　so　fascinating；　so

wise；　so　full　of　knowledge；　and　so　ready　to　learn？　　She　is　suspected

of　being　the　anonymous　author　of　a　book　which　produced　a　sensation

when　published；　not　very　long　ago；　and　which　those　who　read　are　very

apt　to　read　a　second　time；　and　to　leave　on　their　tables　for　frequent

reference。　　But　we　have　never　asked　her。　　I　do　not　think　she　wants　to

be　famous。　　How　she　comes　to　be　unmarried　is　a　mystery　to　me；　it　must

be　that　she　has　found　nobody　worth　caring　enough　for。　　I　wish　she

would　furnish　us　with　the　romance　which；　as　I　said；　our　tea…table

needs　to　make　it　interesting。　　Perhaps　the　new…comer　will　make　love

to　her；I　should　think　it　possible　she　might　fancy　him。



And　who　is　the　new…comer？　　He　is　a　Counsellor　and　a　Politician。　　Has

a　good　war　record。　　Is　about　forty…five　years　old；　I　conjecture。　　Is

engaged　in　a　great　law　case　just　now。　　Said　to　be　very　eloquent。　　Has


an　intellectual　head；　and　the　bearing　of　one　who　has　commanded　a

regiment　or　perhaps　a　brigade。　　Altogether　an　attractive　person；

scholarly；　refined　has　some　accomplishments　not　so　common　as　they

might　be　in　the　class　we　call　gentlemen；　with　an　accent　on　the　word。



There　is　also　a　young　Doctor；　waiting　for　his　bald　spot　to　come；　so

that　he　may　get　into　practice。



We　have　two　young　ladies　at　the　table；the　English　girl　referred　to

in　a　former　number；　and　an　American　girl　of　about　her　own　age。　　Both

of　them　are　students　in　one　of　those　institutionsI　am　not　sure

whether　they　call　it　an　〃annex〃　or　not；　but　at　any　rate　one　of　those

schools　where　they　teach　the　incomprehensible　sort　of　mathematics　and

other　bewildering　branches　of　knowledge　above　the　common　level　of

high…school　education。　　They　seem　to　be　good　friends；　and　form　a　very

pleasing　pair　when　they　walk　in　arm　in　arm；　nearly　enough　alike　to

seem　to　belong　together；　different　enough　to　form　an　agreeable

contrast。



Of　course　we　were　bound　to　have　a　Musician　at　our　table；　and　we　have

one　who　sings　admirably；　and　accompanies　himself；　or　one　or　more　of

our　ladies；　very　frequently。



Such　is　our　company　when　the　table　is　full。　　But　sometimes　only　half

a　dozen；　or　it　may　be　only　three　or　four；　are　present。　　At　other

times　we　have　a　visitor　or　two；　either　in　the　place　of　one　of　our

habitual　number；　or　in　addition　to　it。　　We　have　the　elements；　we

think；　of　a　pleasant　social　gathering；different　sexes；　ages；

pursuits；　and　tastes；all　that　is　required　for　a　〃symphony　concert〃

of　conversation。　　One　of　the　curious　questions　which　might　well　be

asked　by　those　who　had　been　with　us　on　different　occasions　would　be；

〃How　many　poets　are　there　among　you？〃　　Nobody　can　answer　this

question。　　It　is　a　point　of　etiquette　with　us　not　to　press　our

inquiries　about　these　anonymous　poems　too　sharply；　especially　if　any

of　them　betray　sentiments　which　would　not　bear　rough　handling。



I　don't　doubt　that　the　different　personalities　at　our　table　will　get

mixed　up　in　the　reader's　mind　if　be　is　not　particularly　clear…headed。

That　happens　very　often；　much　oftener　than　all　would　be　willing　to

confess；　in　reading　novels　and　plays。　　I　am　afraid　we　should　get　a

good　deal　confused　even　in　reading　our　Shakespeare　if　we　did　not　look

back　now　and　then　at　the　dramatis　personae。　　I　am　sure　that　I　am　very

apt　to　confound　the　characters　in　a　moderately　interesting　novel；

indeed；　I　suspect　that　the　writer　is　often　no　better　off　than　the

reader　in　the　dreary　middle　of　the　story；　when　his　characters　have

all　made　their　appearance；　and　before　they　have　reached　near　enough

to　the　denoument　to　have　fixed　their　individuality　by　the　position

they　have　arrived　at　in　the　chain　of　the　narrative。



My　reader　might　be　a　little　puzzled　when　he　read　that　Number　Five　did

or　said　such　or　such　a　thing；　and　ask；　〃Whom　do　you　mean　by　that

title？　　I　am　not　quite　sure　that　I　remember。〃　Just　associate　her　with

that　line　of　Emerson；



　　　　　〃Why　nature　loves　the　number　five；〃



and　that　will　remind　you　that　she　is　the　favorite　of　our　table。



You　cannot　forget　who　Number　Seven　is　if　I　inform　you　that　he

specially　prides　himself　on　being　a　seventh　son　of　a　seventh　son。

The　fact　of　such　a　descent　is　supposed　to　carry　wonderful　endowments

with　it。　　Number　Seven　passes　for　a　natural　healer。　　He　is　looked

upon　as　a　kind　of　wizard；　and　is　lucky　in　living　in　the　nineteenth

century　instead　of　the　sixteenth　or　earlier。　　How　much　confidence　he

feels　in　himself　as　the　possessor　of　half…supernatural　gifts　I　cannot

say。　　I　think　his　peculiar　birthright　gives　him　a　certain　confidence

in　his　whims　and　fancies　which　but　for　that　he　would　hardly　feel。

After　this　explanation；　when　I　speak　of　Number　Five　or　Number　Seven；

you　will　know　to　whom　I　refer。



The　company　are　very　frank　in　their　criticisms　of　each　other。　　〃I　did

not　like　that　expression　of　yours；　planetary　foundlings；〃　said　the

Mistress。　　〃It　seems　to　me　that　it　is　too　like　atheism　for　a　good

Christian　like　you　to　use。〃



Ah；　my　dear　madam；　I　answered；　I　was　thinking　of　the　elements　and　the

natural　forces　to　which　man　was　born　an　almost　helpless　subject　in

the　rudimentary　stages　of　his　existence；　and　from　which　he　has　only

partially　got　free　after　ages　upon　ages　of　warfare　with　their

tyranny。　　Think　what　hunger　forced　the　caveman　to　do！　　Think　of　the

surly　indifference　of　the　storms　that　swept　the　forest　and　the

waters；　the　earthquake　chasms　that　engulfed　him；　the　inundations　that

drowned　him　out　of　his　miserable　hiding…places；　the　pestilences　that

lay　in　wait　for　him；　the　unequal　strife　with　ferocious　animals！

I　need　not　sum　up　all　the　wretchedness　that　goes　to　constitute　the

〃martyrdom　of　man。〃　　When　our　forefathers　came　to　this　wilderness　as

it　then　was；　and　found　everywhere　the　bones　of　the　poor　natives　who

had　perished　in　the　great　plague　（which　our　Doctor　there　thinks　was

probably　the　small…pox）；　they　considered　this　destructive　malady　as　a

special　mark　of　providential　favor　for　them。　　How　about　the　miserable

Indians？　　Were　they　anything　but　planetary　foundlings？　　No！

Civilization　is　a　great　foundling　hospital；　and　fortunate　are　all

those　who　get　safely　into　the　creche　before　the　frost　or　the　malaria

has　killed　them；　the　wild　beasts　or　the　venomous　reptiles　worked　out

their　deadly　appetites　and　instincts　upon　them。　　The　very　idea　of

humanity　seems　to　be　that　it　shall　take　care　of　itself　and　develop

its　powers　in　the　〃struggle　for　life。〃　　Whether　we　approve　it　or　not；

if　we　can　judge　by　the　material　record；　man　was　born　a　foundling；　and

fought　his　way　as　he　best　might　to　that　kind　of　existence　which　we

call　civilized；one　which　a　considerable　part　of　the　inhabitants　of

our　planet　have　reached。



If　you　do　not　like　the　expression　planetary　foundlings；　I　have　no

objection　to　your　considering　the　race　as　put　out　to　nurse。　　And　what

a　nurse　Nature　is！　　She　gives　her　charge　a　hole　in　the　rocks　to　live

in；　ice　for　his　pillow　and　snow　for　his　blanket；　in　one　part　of　the

world；　the　jungle　for　his　bedroom　in　another；　with　the　tiger　for　his

watch…dog；　and　the　cobra　as　his　playfellow。



Well；　I　said；　there　may　be　other　parts　of　the　universe　where　there

are　no　tigers　and　no　cobras。　　It　is　not　quite　certain　that　such

realms　of　creation　are　better　off；　on　the　whole；　than　this　earthly

residence　of　ours；　which　has　fought　its　way　up　to　the　development　of

such　centres　of　civilization　as　Athens　and　Rome；　to　such

personalities　as　Socrates；　as　Washington。



〃One　of　our　company　has　been　on　an　excursion　among　the　celestial

bodies　of　our　system；　I　understand；〃　said　the　Professor。



Number　Five　colored。　　〃Nothing　but　a　dream；〃　she　said。　　〃The　truth

is；　I　had　taken　ether　in　the　evening　for　a　touch　of　neuralgia；　and　it

set　my　imagination　at　work　in　a　way　quite　unusual　with　me。　　I　had

been　reading　a　number　of　books　about　an　ideal　condition　of　society；

Sir　Thomas　Mores　'Utopia；'　Lord　Bacon's　'New　Atlantis；'　and　another

of　more　recent　date。　　I　went　to　bed　with　my　brain　a　good　deal

excited；　and　fell　into　a　deep　slumber；　in　which　I　passed　through　some

experiences　so　singular　that；　on　awaking；　I　put　them　down　on　paper。

I　don't　know　that　there　is　anything　very　original　about　the

experiences　I　have　record