annajanska, the bolshevik empress-第1章

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Annajanska；　the　Bolshevik　Empress

by　George　Bernard　Shaw









ANNAJANSKA　is　frankly　a　bravura　piece。　The　modern　variety　theatre
demands　for　its　〃turns〃　little　plays　called　sketches；　to　last
twenty　minutes　or　so；　and　to　enable　some　favorite　performer　to
make　a　brief　but　dazzling　appearance　on　some　barely　passable
dramatic　pretext。　Miss　Lillah　McCarthy　and　I；　as　author　and
actress；　have　helped　to　make　one　another　famous　on　many　serious
occasions；　from　Man　and　Superman　to　Androcles；　and　Mr　Charles
Ricketts　has　not　disdained　to　snatch　moments　from　his　painting
and　sculpture　to　design　some　wonderful　dresses　for　us。　We　three
unbent　as　Mrs　Siddons；　Sir　Joshua　Reynolds　and　Dr　Johnson　might
have　unbent；　to　devise　a　turn　for　the　Coliseum　variety　theatre。
Not　that　we　would　set　down　the　art　of　the　variety　theatre　as
something　to　be　condescended　to；　or　our　own　art　as　elephantine。
We　should　rather　crave　indulgence　as　three　novices　fresh　from　the
awful　legitimacy　of　the　highbrow　theatre。

Well；　Miss　McCarthy　and　Mr　Ricketts　justified　themselves　easily
in　the　glamor　of　the　footlights；　to　the　strains　of　Tchaikovsky's
1812。　I　fear　I　did　not。　I　have　received　only　one　compliment　on　my
share；　and　that　was　from　a　friend　who　said；　〃It　is　the　only　one
of　your　works　that　is　not　too　long。〃　So　I　have　made　it　a　page　or
two　longer；　according　to　my　own　precept：　EMBRACE　YOUR　REPROACHES：
THEY　ARE　OFTEN　GLORIES　IN　DISGUISE。

Annajanska　was　first　performed　at　the　Coliseum　Theatre　in
London　on　the　21st　January；　1918；　with　Lillah　McCarthy　as
the　Grand　Duchess；　Henry　Miller　as　Schneidekind；　and　Randle
Ayrton　as　General　Strammfest。







ANNAJANSKA；　THE　BOLSHEVIK　EMPRESS


The　General's　office　in　a　military　station　on　the　east　front　in
Beotia。　An　office　table　with　a　telephone；　writing　materials；
official　papers；　etc。；　is　set　across　the　room。　At　the　end　of　the
table；　a　comfortable　chair　for　the　General。　Behind　the　chair；　a
window。　Facing　it　at　the　other　end　of　the　table；　a　plain　wooden
bench。　At　the　side　of　the　table；　with　its　back　to　the　door；　a
common　chair；　with　a　typewriter　before　it。　Beside　the　door；　which
is　opposite　the　end　of　the　bench；　a　rack　for　caps　and　coats。
There　is　nobody　in　the　room。

General　Strammfest　enters；　followed　by　Lieutenant　Schneidekind。
They　hang　up　their　cloaks　and　caps。　Schneidekind　takes　a　little
longer　than　Strammfest；　who　comes　to　the　table。

STRAMMFEST。　Schneidekind。

SCHNEIDEKIND。　Yes；　sir。

STRAMMFEST。　Have　you　sent　my　report　yet　to　the　government？　＇He
sits　down。＇

SCHNEIDEKIND　＇coming　to　the　table＇。　Not　yet；　sir。　Which
government　do　you　wish　it　sent　to？　＇He　sits　down。＇

STRAMMFEST。　That　depends。　What's　the　latest？　Which　of　them　do　you
think　is　most　likely　to　be　in　power　tomorrow　morning？

SCHNEIDEKIND。　Well；　the　provisional　government　was　going　strong
yesterday。　But　today　they　say　that　the　Prime　Minister　has　shot
himself；　and　that　the　extreme　left　fellow　has　shot　all　the
others。

STRAMMFEST。　Yes：　that's　all　very　well；　but　these　fellows　always
shoot　themselves　with　blank　cartridge。

SCHNEIDEKIND。　Still；　even　the　blank　cartridge　means　backing　down。
I　should　send　the　report　to　the　Maximilianists。

STRAMMFEST。　They're　no　stronger　than　the　Oppidoshavians；　and　in
my　own　opinion　the　Moderate　Red　Revolutionaries　are　as　likely　to
come　out　on　top　as　either　of　them。

SCHNEIDEKIND。　I　can　easily　put　a　few　carbon　sheets　in　the
typewriter　and　send　a　copy　each　to　the　lot。

STRAMMFEST。　Waste　of　paper。　You　might　as　well　send　reports　to　an
infant　school。　＇He　throws　his　head　on　the　table　with　a　groan。＇

SCHNEIDEKIND。　Tired　out；　Sir？

STRAMMFEST。　O　Schneidekind；　Schneidekind；　how　can　you　bear　to
live？

SCHNEIDEKIND。　At　my　age；　sir；　I　ask　myself　how　can　I　bear　to　die？

STRAMMFEST。　You　are　young；　young　and　heartless。　You　are　excited
by　the　revolution：　you　are　attached　to　abstract　things　like
liberty。　But　my　family　has　served　the　Panjandrums　of　Beotia
faithfully　for　seven　centuries。　The　Panjandrums　have　kept　our
place　for　us　at　their　courts；　honored　us；　promoted　us；　shed　their
glory　on　us；　made　us　what　we　are。　When　I　hear　you　young　men
declaring　that　you　are　fighting　for　civilization；　for　democracy；
for　the　overthrow　of　militarism；　I　ask　myself　how　can　a　man　shed
his　blood　for　empty　words　used　by　vulgar　tradesmen　and　common
laborers：　mere　wind　and　stink。　＇He　rises；　exalted　by　his　theme。＇
A　king　is　a　splendid　reality；　a　man　raised　above　us　like　a　god。
You　can　see　him；　you　can　kiss　his　hand；　you　can　be　cheered　by　his
smile　and　terrified　by　his　frown。　I　would　have　died　for　my
Panjandrum　as　my　father　died　for　his　father。　Your　toiling
millions　were　only　too　honored　to　receive　the　toes　of　our　boots
in　the　proper　spot　for　them　when　they　displeased　their　betters。
And　now　what　is　left　in　life　for　me？　＇He　relapses　into　his　chair
discouraged。＇　My　Panjandrum　is　deposed　and　transported　to　herd
with　convicts。　The　army；　his　pride　and　glory；　is　paraded　to　hear
seditious　speeches　from　penniless　rebels；　with　the　colonel
actually　forced　to　take　the　chair　and　introduce　the　speaker。　I
myself　am　made　Commander…in…Chief　by　my　own　solicitor：　a　Jew；
Schneidekind！　a　Hebrew　Jew！　It　seems　only　yesterday　that　these
things　would　have　been　the　ravings　of　a　madman：　today　they　are
the　commonplaces　of　the　gutter　press。　I　live　now　for　three
objects　only：　to　defeat　the　enemy；　to　restore　the　Panjandrum；　and
to　hang　my　solicitor。

SCHNEIDEKIND。　Be　careful；　sir：　these　are　dangerous　views　to　utter
nowadays。　What　if　I　were　to　betray　you？

STRAMMFEST。　What！

SCHNEIDEKIND。　I　won't；　of　course：　my　own　father　goes　on　just　like
that；　but　suppose　I　did？

STRAMMFEST　＇chuckling＇。　I　should　accuse　you　of　treason　to　the
Revolution；　my　lad；　and　they　would　immediately　shoot　you；　unless
you　cried　and　asked　to　see　your　mother　before　you　died；　when　they
would　probably　change　their　minds　and　make　you　a　brigadier。
Enough。　＇He　rises　and　expands　his　chest。＇　I　feel　the　better　for
letting　myself　go。　To　business。　＇He　takes　up　a　telegram：　opens
it：　and　is　thunderstruck　by　its　contents。＇　Great　heaven！　＇He
collapses　into　his　chair。　This　is　the　worst　blow　of　all。

SCHNEIDEKIND。　What　has　happened？　Are　we　beaten？

STRAMMFEST。　Man；　do　you　think　that　a　mere　defeat　could　strike　me
down　as　this　news　does：　I；　who　have　been　defeated　thirteen　times
since　the　war　began？　O；　my　master；　my　master；　my　Panjandrum！　＇he
is　convulsed　with　sobs。＇

SCHNEIDEKIND。　They　have　killed　him？

STRAMMFEST。　A　dagger　has　been　struck　through　his　heart

SCHNEIDEKIND。　Good　God！

STRAMMFEST。　and　through　mine；　through　mine。

SCHNEIDEKIND　＇relieved＇。　Oh；　a　metaphorical　dagger！　I　thought　you
meant　a　real　one。　What　has　happened？

STRAMMFEST。　His　daughter　the　Grand　Duchess　Annajanska；　she　whom
the　Panjandrina　loved　beyond　all　her　other　children；　hashas
＇he　cannot　finish。＇

SCHNEIDEKIND。　Committed　suicide？

STRAMMFEST。　No。　Better　if　she　had。　Oh；　far　far　better。

SCHNEIDEKIND　＇in　hushed　tones＇。　Left　the　Church？

STRAMMFEST　＇shocked＇。　Certainly　not。　Do　not　blaspheme；　young　man。

SCHNEIDEKIND。　Asked　for　the　vote？

STRAMMFEST。　I　would　have　given　it　to　her　with　both　hands　to　save
her　from　this。

SCHNEIDEKIND。　Save　her　from　what？　Dash　it；　sir；　out　with　it。

STRAMMFEST。　She　has　joined　the　Revolution。

SCHNEIDEKIND。　But　so　have　you；　sir。　We've　all　joined　the
Revolution。　She　doesn't　mean　it　any　more　than　we　do。

STRAMMFEST。　Heaven　grant　you　may　be　right！　But　that　is　not　the
worst。　She　had　eloped　with　a　young　officer。　Eloped；　Schneidekind；
eloped！

SCHNEIDEKIND　＇not　particularly　impressed＇。　Yes；　Sir。

STRAMMFEST。　Annajanska；　the　beautiful；　the　innocent；　my　master's
daughter！　＇He　buries　his　face　in　his　hands。＇

The　telephone　rings。

SCHNEIDEKIND　＇taking　the　receiver＇。　Yes：　G。H。Q。　Yes。。。Don't　bawl：
I'm　not　a　general。　Who　is　it　speaking？。。。Why　didn't　you　say　so？
don't　you　know　your　duty？　Next　time　you　will　lose　your
stripe。。。Oh；　they've　made　you　a　colonel；　have　they？　Well；　they've
made　me　a　field…marshal：　now　what　have　you　to　say？。。。Look　here：
what　did　you　ring　up　for？　I　can't　spend　the　day　here　listening　to
your　cheek。。。What！　the　Grand　Duchess　＇Strammfest　starts。＇　Where
did　you　catch　her？

STRAMMFEST　＇snatching　the　telephone　and　listening　for　the
answer＇。　Speak　louder；　will　you：　I　am　a　General　I　know　that；　you
dolt。　Have　you　captured　the　officer　that　was　with　her？。。。
Damnation！　You　shall　answer　for　this：　you　let　him　go：　he　bribed
you。　You　must　have　seen　him：　the　fellow　is　in　the　full　dress
court　uniform　of　the　Panderobajensky　Hussars。　I　give　you　twelve
hours　to　catch　him　or。。。what's　that　you　say　about　the　devil？　Are
you　swearing　at　me；　you。。。Thousand　thunders！　＇To　Schneidekind。＇
The　swine　says　that　the　Grand　Duchess　is　a　devil　incarnate。　＇Into
the　telephone。＇　Filthy　traitor：　is　that　the　way　you　dare　speak　of
the　daughter　of　our　anointed　Panjandrum？　I'll

SCHNEIDEKIND　＇pulling　the　telephone　from　his　lips＇。　Take　care；
sir。

STRAMMFEST。　I　won't　take　care：　I'll　have　him　shot。　Let　go　that
telephone。

SCHNEIDEKIND。　But　for　her　own　sake；　sir

STRAMMFEST。　Eh？

SCHNEIDEKIND。　For　her　own　sake　they　had　better　send　her　here。　She
will　be　safe　in　your　hands。

STRAMMFEST　＇yielding　the　receiver＇。　You　are　right。　Be　civil　to
him。　I　should　choke　＇he　sits　down＇。

SCHNEIDEKIND　＇into　the　telephone＇。　Hullo。　Never　mind　all　that：
it's　only　a　fellow　here　who　has　been　fooling　with　the　telephone。
I　had　to　leave　the　room　for　a　moment。　Wash　out：　and　send　the　girl
along。　We'll　jolly　soon　teach　her　to　behave　herself　here。。。Oh；
you've　sent　her　already。　Then　why　the　devil　didn't　you　say　so；
you＇he　hangs　up　the　telephone　angrily＇。　Just　fancy：　they
started　her　off　this　morning：　and　all　this　is　because　the　fellow
likes　to　get　on　the　telephone　and　hear　himself　talk　now　that　he
is　a　colonel。　＇The　telephone　rings　again。　He　snatches　the
receiver　furiously。＇　What's　the　matter　now？。。。＇To　the　General。＇
It's　our　own　people　downstairs。　＇Into　the　receiver。＇　Here！　do　you
suppose　I've　nothing　else　to　do　than　to　hang　on　to　the　telephone
all　day？。。。What's　that？　Not　men　enough　to　hold　her！　What　do　you
mean？　＇To　the　General。＇　She　is　there；　sir。

STRAMMFEST。　Tell　them　to　send　her　up。　I　shall　have　to　receive　her
without　even　rising；　without　kissing　her　hand；　to　keep　up
appearances　before　the　escort。　It　will　break　my　heart。

SCHNEIDEKIND　＇into　the　receiver＇。　Send　her　up。。。Tcha！　＇He　hangs
up　the　receiver。＇　He　says　she　is　halfway　up　already：　they
couldn't　hold　her。

The　Grand　Duchess　bursts　into　the　room；　dragging　with　her　two
exhausted　soldiers　hanging　on　desperately　to　her　arms。　She　is
enveloped　from　head　to　foot　by　a　fur…lined　cloak；　and　wears　a　fur
cap。

SCHNEIDEKIND　＇pointing　to　the　bench＇。　At　the　word　Go；　place　your
prisoner　on　the　bench　in　a　sitting　posture；　and　take　your　seats
right　and　left　of　her。　Go。

The　two　soldiers　make　a　supreme　effort　to　force　her　to　sit　down。
She　flings　them　back　so　that　they　are　forced　to　sit　on　the　bench
to　save　themselves　from　falling　backwards　over　it；　and　is　herself
dragged　into　sitting　between　them。　The　second　soldier；　holding　on
tight　to　the　Grand　Duchess　with　one　hand；　produces　papers　with
the　other；　and　waves　them　towards