curious republic of gondour-第8章
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service。
POSTSCRIPT…LATER
May 11I do not expect anybody to believe so astounding a thing； and yet
it is the solemn truth that instead of instantly sending the dangerous
lunatic to the insane asylum （which I naturally supposed they would do；
and so I prematurely said they had） the court has actually SET HIM AT
LIBERTY。 Comment is unnecessary。 M。 T。
THE EUROPEAN WARS ＇From the Buffalo Express； July 25； 1870。＇
First Day
THE EUROPEAN WAR！！！
NO BATTLE YET！！！
HOSTILITIES IMMINENT！！！
TREMENDOUS EXCITEMENT。
AUSTRIA ARMING！
BERLIN； Tuesday。
No battle has been fought yet。 But hostilities may burst forth any week。
There is tremendous excitement here over news from the front that two
companies of French soldiers are assembling there。
It is rumoured that Austria is armingwhat with； is not known。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
Second Day
THE EUROPEAN WAR
NO BATTLE YET！
FIGHTING IMMINENT。
AWFUL EXCITEMENT。
RUSSIA SIDES WITH PRUSSIA！
ENGLAND NEUTRAL！！
AUSTRIA NOT ARMING。
BERLIN； Wednesday。
No battle has been fought yet。 However； all thoughtful men feel that the
land may be drenched with blood before the Summer is over。
There is an awful excitement here over the rumour that two companies of
Prussian troops have concentrated on the border。 German confidence
remains unshaken！！
There is news to the effect that Russia espouses the cause of Prussia and
will bring 4；000；000 men to the field。
England proclaims strict neutrality。
The report that Austria is arming needs confirmation。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
Third Day
THE EUROPEAN WAR
NO BATTLE YET！
BLOODSHED IMMINENT！！
ENORMOUS EXCITEMENT！！
INVASION OF PRUSSIA！！
INVASION OF FRANCE！！
RUSSIA SIDES WITH FRANCE。
ENGLAND STILL NEUTRAL！
FIRING HEARD！
THE EMPEROR TO TAKE COMMAND。
PARIS； Thursday。
No battle has been fought yet。 But Field Marshal McMahon telegraphs thus
to the Emperor：
〃If the Frinch army survoives until Christmas there'll be throuble。
Forninst this fact it would be sagacious if the divil wint the rounds of
his establishment to prepare for the occasion； and tuk the precaution to
warrum up the Prussian depairtment a bit agin the day。
MIKE。〃
There is an enormous state of excitement here over news from the front to
the effect that yesterday France and Prussia were simultaneously invaded
by the two bodies of troops which lately assembled on the border。 Both
armies conducted their invasions secretly and are now hunting around for
each other on opposite sides of the border。
Russia espouses the cause of France。 She will bring 200；000 men to the
field。
England continues to remain neutral。
Firing was heard yesterday in the direction of Blucherberg； and for a
while the excitement was intense。 However the people reflected that the
country in that direction is uninhabitable； and impassable by anything
but birds； they became quiet again。
The Emperor sends his troops to the field with immense enthusiasm。 He
will lead them in person； when they return。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
Fourth Day
THE EUROPEAN WAR！
NO BATTLE YET！！
THE TROOPS GROWING OLD！
BUT BITTER STRIFE IMMINENT！
PRODIGIOUS EXCITEMENT！
THE INVASIONS SUCCESSFULLY ACCOMPLISHED
AND THE INVADERS SAFE！
RUSSIA SIDES WITH BOTH SIDES
ENGLAND WILL FIGHT BOTH！
LONDON； Friday。
No battle has been fought thus far； but a million impetuous soldiers are
gritting their teeth at each other across the border； and the most
serious fears entertained that if they do not die of old age first； there
will be bloodshed in this war yet。
The prodigious patriotic excitement goes on。 In Prussia； per Prussian
telegrams； though contradicted from France。 In France； per French
telegrams； though contradicted from Prussia。
The Prussian invasion of France was a magnificent success。 The military
failed to find the French； but made good their return to Prussia without
the loss of a single man。 The French invasion of Prussia is also
demonstrated to have been a brilliant and successful achievement。 The
army failed to find the Prussians； but made good their return to the
Vaterland without bloodshed； after having invaded as much as they wanted
to。
There is glorious news from Russia to the effect that she will side with
both sides。
Also from Englandshe will fight both sides。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
LONDON； Thursday evening。
I rushed over too soon。 I shall return home on Tuesday's steamer and
wait until the war begins。 M。 T。
THE WILD MAN INTERVIEWED
＇From the Buffalo Express； September 18； 1869。＇
There has been so much talk about the mysterious 〃wild man〃 out there in
the West for some time； that I finally felt it was my duty to go out and
interview him。 There was something peculiarly and touchingly romantic
about the creature and his strange actions； according to the newspaper
reports。 He was represented as being hairy； long…armed； and of great
strength and stature； ugly and cumbrous； avoiding men； but appearing
suddenly and unexpectedly to women and children； going armed with a club；
but never molesting any creature； except sheep； or other prey； fond of
eating and drinking； and not particular about the quality； quantity； or
character of the beverages and edibles； living in the woods like a wild
beast； but never angry； moaning； and sometimes howling； but never
uttering articulate sounds。
Such was 〃Old Shep〃 as the papers painted him。 I felt that the story of
his life must be a sad onea story of suffering； disappointment； and
exilea story of man's inhumanity to man in some shape or otherand I
longed to persuade the secret from him。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
〃Since you say you are a member of the press；〃 said the wild man； 〃I am
willing to tell you all you wish to know。 Bye and bye you will
comprehend why it is that I wish to unbosom myself to a newspaper man
when I have so studiously avoided conversation with other people。 I will
now unfold my strange story。 I was born with the world we live upon；
almost。 I am the son of Cain。〃
〃What？〃
〃I was present when the flood was announced。〃
〃Which？〃
〃I am the father of the Wandering Jew。〃
〃Sir？〃
I moved out of range of his club； and went on taking notes； but keeping a
wary eye on him all the while。 He smiled a melancholy smile and resumed：
〃When I glance back over the dreary waste of ages； I see many a
glimmering and mark that is familiar to my memory。 And oh； the leagues
I have travelled！ the things I have seen！ the events I have helped to
emphasise！ I was at the assassination of Caesar。 I marched upon Mecca
with Mahomet。 I was in the Crusades； and stood with Godfrey when he
planted the banner of the cross on the battlements of Jerusalem。 I〃
〃One moment； please。 Have you given these items to any other journal？
Can I〃
〃Silence。 I was in the Pinta's shrouds with Columbus when America burst
upon his vision。 I saw Charles I beheaded。 I was in London when the
Gunpowder Plot was discovered。 I was present at the trial of Warren
Hastings。 I was on American soil when the battle of Lexington was fought
when the declaration was promulgatedwhen Cornwallis surrendered
When Washington died。 I entered Paris with Napoleon after Elba。 I was
present when you mounted your guns and manned your fleets for the war of
1812when the South fired upon Sumterwhen Richmond fellwhen the
President's life was taken。 In all the ages I have helped to celebrate
the triumphs of genius； the achievements of arms； the havoc of storm；
fire； pestilence； famine。〃
〃Your career has been a stirring one。 Might I ask how you came to locate
in these dull Kansas woods； when you have been so accustomed to
excitement during what I might term so protracted a period； not to put
too fine a point on it？〃
〃Listen。 Once I was the honoured servitor of the noble and illustrious〃
（here he heaved a sigh； and passed his hairy hand across his eyes） 〃but
in these degenerate days I am become the slave of quack doctors and
newspapers。 I am driven from pillar to post and hurried up and down；
sometimes with stencil…plate and paste…brush to defile the fences with
cabalistic legends； and sometimes in grotesque and extravagant character
at the behest of some driving journal。 I attended to that Ocean Bank
robbery some weeks ago； when I was hardly rested from finishing up the
pow…wow about the completion of the Pacific Railroad； immediately I was
spirited off to do an atrocious； murder for the benefit of the New York
papers； next to attend the wedding of a patriarchal millionaire； next to
raise a hurrah about the great boat race； and then； just when I had begun
to hope that my old bones would have a rest； I am bundled off to this
howling wilderness to strip； and jibber； and be ugly and hairy； and pull
down fences and waylay sheep； and waltz around with a club； and play
'Wild Man' generallyand all to gratify the whim of a bedlam of crazy
newspaper scribblers？ From one end of the continent to the other； I am
described as a gorilla； with a sort of human seeming about meand all to
gratify this quill…driving scum of the earth！〃
〃Poor old carpet bagger！〃
〃I have been served infamously； often； in modern and semi…modern times。
I have been compelled by base men to create fraudulent history； and to
perpetrate all sorts of humbugs。 I wrote those crazy Junius letters； I
moped in a French dungeon for fifteen years； and wore a ridiculous Iron
Mask； I poked around your Northern forests； among your vagabond Indians；
a solemn French idiot； personating the ghost of a dead Dauphin； that the
gaping world might wonder if we had 'a Bourbon among us'； I have played
sea…serpent off Nahant； and Woolly…Horse and What…is…it for the museums；
I have interviewed politicians for the Sun； worked up all manner of
miracles for the Herald； ciphered up election returns for the World；
and thundered Political Economy through the Tribune
