mark twain, a biography, 1900-1907-第39章

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So　we　went　back　up　the　elevator；　walked　to　the　other　end　of　the　hotel；
and　came　down　to　the　F　Street　entrance。　　There　is　a　fine；　stately　flight
of　stepsa　really　royal　stairleading　from　this　entrance　down　into
〃Peacock　Alley。〃　　To　slowly　descend　that　flight　is　an　impressive　thing　to
do。　　It　is　like　descending　the　steps　of　a　throne…room；　or　to　some　royal
landing…place　where　Cleopatra's　barge　might　lie。　　I　confess　that　I　was
somewhat　nervous　at　the　awfulness　of　the　occasion；　but　I　reflected　that　I
was　powerfully　protected；　so　side　by　side；　both　in　full…dress；　white
ties；　white…silk　waistcoats；　and　all；　we　came　down　that　regal　flight。

Of　course　he　was　seized　upon　at　once　by　a　lot　of　feminine　admirers；　and
the　passage　along　the　corridor　was　a　perpetual　gantlet。　　I　realize　now
that　this　gave　the　dramatic　finish　to　his　day；　and　furnished　him　with
proper　appetite　for　his　dinner。　　I　did　not　again　make　the　mistake　of
taking　him　around　to　the　more　secluded　elevator。　　I　aided　and　abetted　him
every　evening　in　making　that　spectacular　descent　of　the　royal　stairway；
and　in　running　that　fair　and　frivolous　gantlet　the　length　of　〃Peacock
Alley。〃　　The　dinner　was　a　continuous　reception。　　No　sooner　was　he　seated
than　this　Congressman　and　that　Senator　came　over　to　shake　hands　with　Mark
Twain。　　Governor　Francis　of　Missouri　also　came。　　Eventually　Howells
drifted　in；　and　Clemens　reviewed　the　day；　its　humors　and　successes。　　Back
in　the　rooms　at　last　he　summed　up　the　progress　thus　farsmoked；　laughed
over　〃Uncle　Joe's〃　surrender　to　the　〃copyright　bandits；〃　and　turned　in
for　the　night。

We　were　at　the　Capitol　headquarters　in　Speaker　Cannon's　private　room
about　eleven　o'clock　next　morning。　　Clemens　was　not　in　the　best　humor
because　I　had　allowed　him　to　oversleep。　　He　was　inclined　to　be
discouraged　at　the　prospect；　and　did　not　believe　many　of　the　members
would　come　down　to　see　him。　　He　expressed　a　wish　for　some　person　of
influence　and　wide　acquaintance；　and　walked　up　and　down；　smoking
gloomily。　　I　slipped　out　and　found　the　Speaker's　colored　body…guard；
Neal；　and　suggested　that　Mr。　Clemens　was　ready　now　to　receive　the
members。

That　was　enough。　　They　began　to　arrive　immediately。　　John　Sharp　Williams
came　first；　then　Boutell；　from　Illinois；　Littlefield；　of　Maine；　and　after
them　a　perfect　procession；　including　all　the　leading　lightsDalzell；
Champ　Clark；　McCallone　hundred　and　eighty　or　so　in　all　during　the　next
three　or　four　hours。

Neal　announced　each　name　at　the　door；　and　in　turn　I　announced　it　to
Clemens　when　the　press　was　not　too　great。　　He　had　provided　boxes　of
cigars；　and　the　room　was　presently　blue　with　smoke；　Clemens　in　his　white
suit　in　the　midst　of　it；　surrounded　by　those　darker　figuresshaking
hands；　dealing　out　copyright　gospel　and　anecdoteshappy　and　wonderfully
excited。　　There　were　chairs；　but　usually　there　was　only　standing　room。　
He　was　on　his　feet　for　several　hours　and　talked　continually；　but　when　at
last　it　was　over；　and　Champ　Clark；　who　I　believe　remained　longest　and　was
most　enthusiastic　in　the　movement；　had　bade　him　good…by；　he　declared　that
he　was　not　a　particle　tired；　and　added：

〃I　believe　if　our　bill　could　be　presented　now　it　would　pass。〃

He　was　highly　elated；　and　pronounced　everything　a　perfect　success。　　Neal；
who　was　largely　responsible　for　the　triumph；　received　a　ten…dollar　bill。

We　drove　to　the　hotel　and　dined　that　night　with　the　Dodges；　who　had　been
neighbors　at　Riverdale。　　Later；　the　usual　crowd　of　admirers　gathered
around　him；　among　them　I　remember　the　minister　from　Costa　Rica；　the
Italian　minister；　and　others　of　the　diplomatic　service；　most　of　whom　he
had　known　during　his　European　residence。　　Some　one　told　of　traveling　in
India　and　China；　and　how　a　certain　Hindu　〃god〃　who　had　exchanged
autographs　with　Mark　Twain　during　his　sojourn　there　was　familiar　with
only　two　other　American　namesGeorge　Washington　and　Chicago；　while　the
King　of　Siam　had　read　but　three　English　booksthe　Bible；　Bryce's
American　Commonwealth；　and　The　Innocents　Abroad。

We　were　at　Thomas　Nelson　Page's　for　dinner　next　eveninga　wonderfully
beautiful　home；　full　of　art　treasures。　　A　number　of　guests　had　been
invited。　　Clemens　naturally　led　the　dinner…talk；　which　eventually　drifted
to　reading。　　He　told　of　Mrs。　Clemens's　embarrassment　when　Stepniak　had
visited　them　and　talked　books；　and　asked　her　what　her　husband　thought　of
Balzac；　Thackeray；　and　the　others。　　She　had　been　obliged　to　say　that　he
had　not　read　them。

〃'How　interesting！'　said　Stepniak。　　But　it　wasn't　interesting　to　Mrs。
Clemens。　　It　was　torture。〃

He　was　light…spirited　and　gay；　but　recalling　Mrs。　Clemens　saddened　him；
perhaps；　for　he　was　silent　as　we　drove　to　the　hotel；　and　after　he　was　in
bed　he　said；　with　a　weary　despair　which　even　the　words　do　not　convey：

〃If　I　had　been　there　a　minute　earlier；　it　is　possibleit　is　possible
that　she　might　have　died　in　my　arms。　　Sometimes　I　think　that　perhaps
there　was　an　instanta　single　instantwhen　she　realized　that　she　was
dying　and　that　I　was　not　there。〃

In　New　York　I　had　once　brought　him　a　print　of　the　superb　〃Adams
Memorial；〃　by　Saint…Gaudensthe　bronze　woman　who　sits　in　the　still　court
in　the　Rock　Creek　Cemetery　at　Washington。

On　the　morning　following　the　Page　dinner　at　breakfast；　he　said：

〃Engage　a　carriage　and　we　will　drive　out　and　see　the　Saint…Gaudens
bronze。〃

It　was　a　bleak；　dull　December　day；　and　as　we　walked　down　through　the
avenues　of　the　dead　there　was　a　presence　of　realized　sorrow　that　seemed
exactly　suited　to　such　a　visit。　　We　entered　the　little　inclosure　of
cedars　where　sits　the　dark　figure　which　is　art's　supreme　expression　of
the　great　human　mystery　of　life　and　death。　　Instinctively　we　removed　our
hats；　and　neither　spoke　until　after　we　had　come　away。　　Then：

〃What　does　he　call　it？〃　he　asked。

I　did　not　know；　though　I　had　heard　applied　to　it　that　great　line　of
Shakespeare's〃the　rest　is　silence。〃

〃But　that　figure　is　not　silent；〃　he　said。

And　later；　as　we　were　driving　home：

〃It　is　in　deep　meditation　on　sorrowful　things。〃

When　we　returned　to　New　York　he　had　the　little　print　framed；　and　kept　it
always　on　his　mantelpiece。




CCLII

THEOLOGY　AND　EVOLUTION

》From　the　Washington　trip　dates　a　period　of　still　closer　association　with
Mark　Twain。　　On　the　way　to　New　York　he　suggested　that　I　take　up　residence
in　his　housea　privilege　which　I　had　no　wish　to　refuse。　　There　was　room
going　to　waste；　he　said；　and　it　would　be　handier　for　the　early　and　late
billiard　sessions。　　So；　after　that；　most　of　the　days　and　nights　I　was
there。

Looking　back　on　that　time　now；　I　see　pretty　vividly　three　quite　distinct
pictures。　　One　of　them；　the　rich；　red　interior　of　the　billiard…room　with
the　brilliant；　green　square　in　the　center；　on　which　the　gay　balls　are
rolling；　and　bending　over　it　that　luminous　white　figure　in　the　instant　of
play。　　Then　there　is　the　long；　lighted　drawing…room　with　the　same　figure
stretched　on　a　couch　in　the　corner；　drowsily　smoking；　while　the　rich
organ　tones　fill　the　place　summoning　for　him　scenes　and　faces　which
others　do　not　see。　　This　was　the　hour　between　dinner　and　billiardsthe
hour　which　he　found　most　restful　of　the　day。　　Sometimes　he　rose；　walking
the　length　of　the　parlors；　his　step　timed　to　the　music　and　his　thought。　
Of　medium　height；　he　gave　the　impression　of　being　tall…his　head　thrown
up；　and　like　a　lion's；　rather　large　for　his　body。　　But　oftener　he　lay
among　the　cushions；　the　light　flooding　his　white　hair　and　dress　and
heightening　his　brilliant　coloring。

The　third　picture　is　that　of　the　dinner…tablealways　beautifully　laid；
and　always　a　shrine　of　wisdom　when　he　was　there。　　He　did　not　always　talk；
but　it　was　his　habit　to　do　so；　and　memory　holds　the　clearer　vision　of　him
when；　with　eyes　and　face　alive　with　interest；　he　presented　some　new　angle
of　thought　in　fresh　picturesqueness　of　speech。　　These　are　the　pictures
that　have　remained　to　me　out　of　the　days　spent　under　his　roof；　and　they
will　not　fade　while　memory　lasts。

Of　Mark　Twain's　table　philosophies　it　seems　proper　to　make　rather
extended　record。　　They　were　usually　unpremeditated；　and　they　presented
the　man　as　he　was；　and　thought。　　I　preserved　as　much　of　them　as　I　could；
and　have　verified　phrase　and　idea；　when　possible；　from　his　own　notes　and
other　unprinted　writings。

This　dinner…table　talk　naturally　varied　in　character　from　that　of　the
billiard…room。　　The　latter　was　likely　to　be　anecdotal　and　personal；　the
former　was　more　often　philosophical　and　commentative；　ranging　through　a
great　variety　of　subjects　scientific；　political；　sociological；　and
religious。　　His　talk　was　often　of　infinitythe　forces　of　creationand
it　was　likely　to　be　satire　of　the　orthodox　conceptions；　intermingled　with
heresies　of　his　own　devising。

Once；　after　a　period　of　general　silence；　he　said：

〃No　one　who　thinks　can　imagine　the　universe　made　by　chance。　　It　is　too
nicely　assembled　and　regulated。　　There　is；　of　course；　a　great　Master
Mind；　but　it　cares　nothing　for　our　happiness　or　our　unhappiness。〃

It　was　objected；　by　one　of　those　present；　that　as　the　Infinite　Mind
suggested　perfect　harmony；　sorrow　and　suffering　were　defects　which　that
Mind　must　feel　and　eventually　regulate。

〃Yes；〃　he　said；　〃not　a　sparrow　falls　but　He　is　noticing；　if　that　is　what
you　mean；　but　the　human　conception　of　it　is　that　God　is　sitting　up　nights
worrying　over　the　individuals　of　this　infinitesimal　race。〃

Then　he　recalled　a　fancy　which　I　have　since　found　among　his　memoranda。　
In　this　note　he　had　written：

　　　　　The　suns　&　planets　that　form　the　constellations　of　a　billion　billion
　　　　　solar　systems　&　go　pouring；　a　tossing　flood　of　shining　globes；
　　　　　through　the　viewless　arteries　of　space　are　the　blood…corpuscles　in
　　　　　the　veins　of　God；　&　the　nations　are　the　microbes　that　swarm　and
　　　　　wiggle　&　brag　in　each；　&　think　God　can　tell　them　apart　at　that
　　　　　distance　&　has　nothing　better　to　do　than　try。　　Thisthe
　　　　　entertainment　of　an　eternity。　　Who　so　poor　in　his　ambitions　as　to
　　　　　consent　to　be　God　on　those　terms？　　Blasphemy？　　No；　it　is　not
　　　　　blasphemy。　　If　God　is　as　vast　as　that；　He　is　above　blasphemy；　if　He
　　　　　is　as　little　as　that；　He　is　beneath　it。

〃The　Bible；〃　he　said；　〃reveals　the　character　of　its　God　with　minute
exactness。　　It　is　a　portrait　of　a　man；　if　one　can　imagine　a　man　with　evil
impulses　far　beyond　the　human　limit。　　In　the　Old　Testament　He　is　pictured
as　unjust；　ungenerous；　pitiless；　and　revengeful；　punishing　innocent
children　for　the　misdeeds　of　their　parents；　punishing　unoffending　people
for　the　sins　of　their　rulers；　even　descending　to　bloody　vengeance　upon
harmless　calves　and　sheep　as　punishment　for　puny　trespasses　committed　by
their　proprietors。　　It　is　the　most　damnatory　biography　that　ever　found
its　way　into　print。　　Its　beginning　is　merely　childish。　　Adam　is　forbidden
to　eat　the　fruit　of　a　certain　tree；　and　gravely　informed　that　if　he
disobeys　he　shall　die。　　How　could　that　impress　Adam？　　He　could　have　no
idea　of　what　death　meant。　　He　had　never　seen　a　dead　thing。　　He　had　never
heard　of　one。　　If　he　had　been　told　that　if　he　ate　the　apples　he　would　be
turned　into　a　meridian　of　longitude　that　threat　would　have　meant　just　as
much　as　the　other　one