mark twain, a biography, 1900-1907-第40章

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turned　into　a　meridian　of　longitude　that　threat　would　have　meant　just　as
much　as　the　other　one。　　The　watery　intellect　that　invented　that　notion
could　be　depended　on　to　go　on　and　decree　that　all　of　Adam's　descendants
down　to　the　latest　day　should　be　punished　for　that　nursery　trespass　in
the　beginning。

〃There　is　a　curious　poverty　of　invention　in　Bibles。　　Most　of　the　great
races　each　have　one；　and　they　all　show　this　striking　defect。　　Each
pretends　to　originality；　without　possessing　any。　　Each　of　them　borrows
from　the　other；　confiscates　old　stage　properties；　puts　them　forth　as
fresh　and　new　inspirations　from　on　high。　　We　borrowed　the　Golden　Rule
from　Confucius；　after　it　had　seen　service　for　centuries；　and　copyrighted
it　without　a　blush。　　We　went　back　to　Babylon　for　the　Deluge；　and　are　as
proud　of　it　and　as　satisfied　with　it　as　if　it　had　been　worth　the　trouble；
whereas　we　know　now　that　Noah's　flood　never　happened；　and　couldn't　have
happenednot　in　that　way。　　The　flood　is　a　favorite　with　Bible…makers。　
Another　favorite　with　the　founders　of　religions　is　the　Immaculate
Conception。　　It　had　been　worn　threadbare；　but　we　adopted　it　as　a　new
idea。　　It　was　old　in　Egypt　several　thousand　years　before　Christ　was　born。　
The　Hindus　prized　it　ages　ago。　　The　Egyptians　adopted　it　even　for　some　of
their　kings。　　The　Romans　borrowed　the　idea　from　Greece。　　We　got　it
straight　from　heaven　by　way　of　Rome。　　We　are　still　charmed　with　it。〃

He　would　continue　in　this　strain；　rising　occasionally　and　walking　about
the　room。　　Once；　considering　the　character　of　Godthe　Bible　God…he　said：

〃We　haven't　been　satisfied　with　God's　character　as　it　is　given　in　the　Old
Testament；　we　have　amended　it。　　We　have　called　Him　a　God　of　mercy　and
love　and　morals。　　He　didn't　have　a　single　one　of　those　qualities　in　the
beginning。　　He　didn't　hesitate　to　send　the　plagues　on　Egypt；　the　most
fiendish　punishments　that　could　be　devisednot　for　the　king；　but　for　his
innocent　subjects；　the　women　and　the　little　children；　and　then　only　to
exhibit　His　power　just　to　show　offand　He　kept　hardening　Pharaoh's　heart
so　that　He　could　send　some　further　ingenuity　of　torture；　new　rivers　of
blood；　and　swarms　of　vermin　and　new　pestilences；　merely　to　exhibit
samples　of　His　workmanship。　　Now　and　then；　during　the　forty　years'　
wandering；　Moses　persuaded　Him　to　be　a　little　more　lenient　with　the
Israelites；　which　would　show　that　Moses　was　the　better　character　of　the
two。　　That　Old　Testament　God　never　had　an　inspiration　of　His　own。〃

He　referred　to　the　larger　conception　of　God；　that　Infinite　Mind　which　had
projected　the　universe。　　He　said：

〃In　some　details　that　Old　Bible　God　is　probably　a　more　correct　picture
than　our　conception　of　that　Incomparable　One　that　created　the　universe
and　flung　upon　its　horizonless　ocean　of　space　those　giant　suns；　whose
signal…lights　are　so　remote　that　we　only　catch　their　flash　when　it　has
been　a　myriad　of　years　on　its　way。　　For　that　Supreme　One　is　not　a　God　of
pity　or　mercynot　as　we　recognize　these　qualities。　　Think　of　a　God　of
mercy　who　would　create　the　typhus　germ；　or　the　house…fly；　or　the
centipede；　or　the　rattlesnake；　yet　these　are　all　His　handiwork。　　They　are
a　part　of　the　Infinite　plan。　　The　minister　is　careful　to　explain　that　all
these　tribulations　are　sent　for　a　good　purpose；　but　he　hires　a　doctor　to
destroy　the　fever　germ；　and　he　kills　the　rattlesnake　when　he　doesn't　run
from　it；　and　he　sets　paper　with　molasses　on　it　for　the　house…fly。

〃Two　things　are　quite　certain：　one　is　that　God；　the　limitless　God；
manufactured　those　things；　for　no　man　could　have　done　it。　　The　man　has
never　lived　who　could　create　even　the　humblest　of　God's　creatures。　　The
other　conclusion　is　that　God　has　no　special　consideration　for　man's
welfare　or　comfort；　or　He　wouldn't　have　created　those　things　to　disturb
and　destroy　him。　　The　human　conception　of　pity　and　morality　must　be
entirely　unknown　to　that　Infinite　God；　as　much　unknown　as　the　conceptions
of　a　microbe　to　man；　or　at　least　as　little　regarded。

〃If　God　ever　contemplates　those　qualities　in　man　He　probably　admires
them；　as　we　always　admire　the　thing　which　we　do　not　possess　ourselves；
probably　a　little　grain　of　pity　in　a　man　or　a　little　atom　of　mercy　would
look　as　big　to　Him　as　a　constellation。　　He　could　create　a　constellation
with　a　thought；　but　He　has　been　all　the　measureless　ages；　and　He　has
never　acquired　those　qualities　that　we　have　namedpity　and　mercy　and
morality。　　He　goes　on　destroying　a　whole　island　of　people　with　an
earthquake；　or　a　whole　cityful　with　a　plague；　when　we　punish　a　man　in　the
electric　chair　for　merely　killing　the　poorest　of　our　race。　　The　human
being　needs　to　revise　his　ideas　again　about　God。　　Most　of　the　scientists
have　done　it　already；　but　most　of　them　don't　dare　to　say　so。〃

He　pointed　out　that　the　moral　idea　was　undergoing　constant　change；　that
what　was　considered　justifiable　in　an　earlier　day　was　regarded　as　highly
immoral　now。　　He　pointed　out　that　even　the　Decalogue　made　no　reference　to
lying；　except　in　the　matter　of　bearing　false　witness　against　a　neighbor。　
Also；　that　there　was　a　commandment　against　covetousness；　though
covetousness　to…day　was　the　basis　of　all　commerce：　The　general　conclusion
being　that　the　morals　of　the　Lord　had　been　the　morals　of　the　beginning；
the　morals　of　the　first…created　man；　the　morals　of　the　troglodyte；　the
morals　of　necessity；　and　that　the　morals　of　mankind　had　kept　pace　with
necessity；　whereas　those　of　the　Lord　had　remained　unchanged。　　It　is
hardly　necessary　to　say　that　no　one　ever　undertook　to　contradict　any
statements　of　this　sort　from　him。　　In　the　first　place；　there　was　no
desire　to　do　so；　and　in　the　second　place；　any　one　attempting　it　would
have　cut　a　puny　figure　with　his　less　substantial　arguments　and　his　less
vigorous　phrase。　　It　was　the　part　of　wisdom　and　immeasurably　the　part　of
happiness　to　be　silent　and　listen。

On　another　evening　he　began：

〃The　mental　evolution　of　the　species　proceeds　apparently　by　regular
progress　side　by　side　with　the　physical　development　until　it　comes　to
man；　then　there　is　a　long；　unexplained　gulf。　　Somewhere　man　acquired　an
asset　which　sets　him　immeasurably　apart　from　the　other　animalshis
imagination。　　Out　of　it　he　created　for　himself　a　conscience；　and　clothes；
and　immodesty；　and　a　hereafter；　and　a　soul。　　I　wonder　where　he　got　that
asset。　　It　almost　makes　one　agree　with　Alfred　Russel　Wallace　that　the
world　and　the　universe　were　created　just　for　his　benefit；　that　he　is　the
chief　love　and　delight　of　God。　　Wallace　says　that　the　whole　universe　was
made　to　take　care　of　and　to　keep　steady　this　little　floating　mote　in　the
center　of　it；　which　we　call　the　world。　　It　looks　like　a　good　deal　of
trouble　for　such　a　small　result；　but　it's　dangerous　to　dispute　with　a
learned　astronomer　like　Wallace。　　Still；　I　don't　think　we　ought　to　decide
too　soon　about　itnot　until　the　returns　are　all　in。　　There　is　the
geological　evidence；　for　instance。　　Even　after　the　universe　was　created；
it　took　a　long　time　to　prepare　the　world　for　man。　　Some　of　the
scientists；　ciphering　out　the　evidence　furnished　by　geology；　have　arrived
at　the　conviction　that　the　world　is　prodigiously　old。　　Lord　Kelvin
doesn't　agree　with　them。　　He　says　that　it　isn't　more　than　a　hundred
million　years　old；　and　he　thinks　the　human　race　has　inhabited　it　about
thirty　thousand　years　of　that　time。　　Even　so；　it　was　99；970；000　years
getting　ready；　impatient　as　the　Creator　doubtless　was　to　see　man　and
admire　him。　　That　was　because　God　first　had　to　make　the　oyster。　　You
can't　make　an　oyster　out　of　nothing；　nor　you　can't　do　it　in　a　day。　
You've　got　to　start　with　a　vast　variety　of　invertebrates；　belemnites；
trilobites；　jebusites；　amalekites；　and　that　sort　of　fry；　and　put　them
into　soak　in　a　primary　sea　and　observe　and　wait　what　will　happen。　　Some
of　them　will　turn　out　a　disappointment；　the　belemnites　and　the　amalekites
and　such　will　be　failures；　and　they　will　die　out　and　become　extinct　in
the　course　of　the　nineteen　million　years　covered　by　the　experiment；　but
all　is　not　lost；　for　the　amalekites　will　develop　gradually　into
encrinites　and　stalactites　and　blatherskites；　and　one　thing　and　another；
as　the　mighty　ages　creep　on　and　the　periods　pile　their　lofty　crags　in　the
primordial　seas；　and　at　last　the　first　grand　stage　in　the　preparation　of
the　world　for　man　stands　completed；　the　oyster　is　done。　　Now　an　oyster
has　hardly　any　more　reasoning　power　than　a　man　has；　so　it　is　probable
this　one　jumped　to　the　conclusion　that　the　nineteen　million　years　was　a
preparation　for　him。　　That　would　be　just　like　an　oyster；　and；　anyway；
this　one　could　not　know　at　that　early　date　that　he　was　only　an　incident
in　a　scheme；　and　that　there　was　some　more　to　the　scheme　yet。

〃The　oyster　being　finished；　the　next　step　in　the　preparation　of　the　world
for　man　was　fish。　　So　the　old　Silurian　seas　were　opened　up　to　breed　the
fish　in。　　It　took　twenty　million　years　to　make　the　fish　and　to　fossilize
him　so　we'd　have　the　evidence　later。

〃Then；　the　Paleozoic　limit　having　been　reached；　it　was　necessary　to　start
a　new　age　to　make　the　reptiles。　　Man　would　have　to　have　some　reptiles
not　to　eat；　but　to　develop　himself　from。　　Thirty　million　years　were
required　for　the　reptiles；　and　out　of　such　material　as　was　left　were　made
those　stupendous　saurians　that　used　to　prowl　about　the　steamy　world　in
remote　ages；　with　their　snaky　heads　forty　feet　in　the　air　and　their　sixty
feet　of　body　and　tail　racing　and　thrashing　after　them。　　They　are　all　gone
now；　every　one　of　them；　just　a　few　fossil　remnants　of　them　left　on　this
far…flung　fringe　of　time。

〃It　took　all　those　years　to　get　one　of　those　creatures　properly
constructed　to　proceed　to　the　next　step。　　Then　came　the　pterodactyl；　who
thought　all　that　preparation　all　those　millions　of　years　had　been
intended　to　produce　him；　for　there　wasn't　anything　too　foolish　for　a；
pterodactyl　to　imagine。　　I　suppose　he　did　attract　a　good　deal　of
attention；　for　even　the　least　observant　could　see　that　there　was　the
making　of　a　bird　in　him；　also　the　making　of　a　mammal；　in　the　course　of
time。　　You　can't　say　too　much　for　the　picturesqueness　of　the　pterodactyl
he　was　the　triumph　of　his　period。　　He　wore　wings　and　had　teeth；　and　was
a　starchy…looking　creature。　　But　the　progression　went　right　along。

〃During　the　next　thirty　million　years　the　bird　arrived；　and　the　kangaroo；
and　by　and　by　the　mastodon；　and　the　giant　sloth；　and　the　Irish　elk；　and
the　old　Silurian　ass；　and　some　people　thought　that　man　was　about　due。　
But　that　was　a　mistake；　for　the　next　thing　they　knew　there　came　a　great
ice…sheet；　and　those　creatures　all　escaped　across　the　Bering　Strait　and
wandered　around　in　Asia　and　died；　all　except　a　few　to　carry　on　the
preparation　with。　　There　were　six　of　those　glacial　periods；　with　two
million　years　or　so　between　each。　　They　chased　those　poor　orphans　up　and
down　the　earth；　from　weather　to　weather；　from　tropic　temperature　to　fifty
degrees　below。　　They　never　knew　what　kind　of　weather　was　going　to　turn　up
next；　and　if　they　settled　any　place　the　whole　continent　suddenly　sank
from　under　them；　and　they　had　to　make　a　scramble　for　dry　land。　　Sometimes
a　volcano　would　turn　itself　loose　just　as　they　got　located。　　They