mark twain, a biography, 1900-1907-第6章

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　　　　　interruptions　caused　by　people　who　wanted　Mr。　Reed　to　explain　votes
　　　　　of　the　olden　time　or　give　back　the　money。　　Mr。　Rogers　recouped　them。

　　　　　Another　anvil　missed。　　The　descendant　of　Captain　Kidd　is　the　only
　　　　　person　who　does　not　blush　for　these　incidents。　　Harry　and　Mr。
　　　　　Clemens　blush　continually。　　It　is　believed　that　if　the　rest　of　the
　　　　　garrison　were　like　these　two　the　yacht　would　be　welcome　everywhere
　　　　　instead　of　being　quarantined　by　the　police　in　all　the　ports。　　Mr。
　　　　　Clemens　&　Harry　have　attracted　a　great　deal　of　attention；　&　men　have
　　　　　expressed　a　resolve　to　turn　over　a　new　leaf　&　copy　after　them　from
　　　　　this　out。

　　　　　Evening。　　Judge　Cohen　came　over　from　another　yacht　to　pay　his
　　　　　respects　to　Harry　and　Mr。　Clemens；　he　having　heard　of　their
　　　　　reputation　from　the　clergy　of　these　coasts。　　He　was　invited　by　the
　　　　　gang　to　play　poker　apparently　as　a　courtesy　&　in　a　spirit　of　seeming
　　　　　hospitality；　he　not　knowing　them　&　taking　it　all　at　par。　　Mr。　Rogers
　　　　　lent　him　clothes　to　go　home　in。

　　　　　August　17th。　The　Reformed　Statesman　growling　and　complaining　again
　　　　　not　in　a　frank；　straightforward　way；　but　talking　at　the　Commodore；
　　　　　while　letting　on　to　be　talking　to　himself。　　This　time　he　was
　　　　　dissatisfied　about　the　anchor　watch；　said　it　was　out　of　date；
　　　　　untrustworthy；　&　for　real　efficiency　didn't　begin　with　the
　　　　　Waterbury；　&　was　going　on　to　reiterate；　as　usual；　that　he　had　been　a
　　　　　pilot　all　his　life　&　blamed　if　he　ever　saw；　etc。；　etc。；　etc。

　　　　　But　he　was　not　allowed　to　finish。　　We　put　him　ashore　at　Portland。

That　is　to　say；　Reed　landed　at　Portland；　the　rest　of　the　party　returning
with　the　yacht。

〃We　had　a　noble　good　time　in　the　yacht；〃　Clemens　wrote　Twichell　on　their
return。　　〃We　caught　a　Chinee　missionary　and　drowned　him。〃

Twichell　had　been　invited　to　make　one　of　the　party；　and　this　letter　was
to　make　him　feel　sorry　he　had　not　accepted。




CCXVI

RIVERDALEA　YALE　DEGREE

The　Clemens　household　did　not　return　to　14　West　Tenth　Street。　　They　spent
a　week　in　Elmira　at　the　end　of　September；　and　after　a　brief　stop　in　New
York　took　up　their　residence　on　the　northern　metropolitan　boundary；　at
Riverdale…on…the…Hudson；　in　the　old　Appleton　home。　　They　had　permanently
concluded　not　to　return　to　Hartford。　　They　had　put　the　property　there
into　an　agent's　hands　for　sale。　　Mrs。　Clemens　never　felt　that　she　had　the
strength　to　enter　the　house　again。

They　had　selected　the　Riverdale　place　with　due　consideration。　　They
decided　that　they　must　have　easy　access　to　the　New　York　center；　but　they
wished　also　to　have　the　advantage　of　space　and　spreading　lawn　and　trees；
large　rooms；　and　light。　　The　Appleton　homestead　provided　these　things。　
It　was　a　house　built　in　the　first　third　of　the　last　century　by　one　of　the
Morris　family；　so　long　prominent　in　New　York　history。　　On　passing　into
the　Appleton　ownership　it　had　been　enlarged　and　beautified　and　named
〃Holbrook　Hall。〃　　It　overlooked　the　Hudson　and　the　Palisades。　　It　had
associations：　the　Roosevelt　family　had　once　lived　there；　Huxley；　Darwin；
Tyndall；　and　others　of　their　intellectual　rank　had　been　entertained　there
during　its　occupation　by　the　first　Appleton；　the　founder　of　the
publishing　firm。　　The　great　hall　of　the　added　wing　was　its　chief　feature。　
Clemens　once　remembered：

〃We　drifted　from　room　to　room　on　our　tour　of　inspection；　always　with　a　
growing　doubt　as　to　whether　we　wanted　that　house　or　not；　but　at　last；
when　we　arrived　in　a　dining…room　that　was　60　feet　long；　30　feet　wide；　and
had　two　great　fireplaces　in　it；　that　settled　it。〃

There　were　pleasant　neighbors　at　Riverdale；　and　had　it　not　been　for　the
illnesses　that　seemed　always　ready　to　seize　upon　that　household　the　home
there　might　have　been　ideal。　　They　loved　the　place　presently；　so　much　so
that　they　contemplated　buying　it；　but　decided　that　it　was　too　costly。　
They　began　to　prospect　for　other　places　along　the　Hudson　shore。　　They
were　anxious　to　have　a　home　againone　that　they　could　call　their　own。

Among　the　many　pleasant　neighbors　at　Riverdale　were　the　Dodges；　the
Quincy　Adamses；　and　the　Rev。　Mr。　Carstensen；　a　liberal…minded　minister
with　whom　Clemens　easily　affiliated。　　Clemens　and　Carstensen　visited　back
and　forth　and　exchanged　views。　　Once　Mr。　Carstensen　told　him　that　he　was
going　to　town　to　dine　with　a　party　which　included　the　Reverend　Gottheil；
a　Catholic　bishop；　an　Indian　Buddhist；　and　a　Chinese　scholar　of　the
Confucian　faith；　after　which　they　were　all　going　to　a　Yiddish　theater。　
Clemens　said：

〃Well；　there's　only　one　more　thing　you　need　to　make　the　party　complete
that　is；　either　Satan　or　me。〃

Howells　often　came　to　Riverdale。　　He　was　living　in　a　New　York　apartment；
and　it　was　handy　and　made　an　easy　and　pleasant　outing　for　him。　　He　says：

〃I　began　to　see　them　again　on　something　like　the　sweet　old　terms。　　They
lived　far　more　unpretentiously　than　they　used；　and　I　think　with　a　notion
of　economy；　which　they　had　never　very　successfully　practised。　　I　recall
that　at　the　end　of　a　certain　year　in　Hartford；　when　they　had　been　saving
and　paying　cash　for　everything；　Clemens　wrote；　reminding　me　of　their
avowed　experiment；　and　asking　me　to　guess　how　many　bills　they　had　at　New…
Year's；　he　hastened　to　say　that　a　horse…car　would　not　have　held　them。　　At
Riverdale　they　kept　no　carriage；　and　there　was　a　snowy　night　when　I　drove
up　to　their　handsome　old　mansion　in　the　station　carryall；　which　was
crusted　with　mud；　as　from　the　going　down　of　the　Deluge　after　transporting
Noah　and　his　family　from　the　Ark　to　whatever　point　they　decided　to　settle
provisionally。　　But　the　good　talk；　the　rich　talk；　the　talk　that　could
never　suffer　poverty　of　mind　or　soul　was　there；　and　we　jubilantly　found
ourselves　again　in　our　middle　youth。〃

Both　Howells　and　Clemens　were　made　doctors　of　letters　by　Yale　that　year
and　went　over　in　October　to　receive　their　degrees。　　It　was　Mark　Twain's
second　Yale　degree；　and　it　was　the　highest　rank　that　an　American
institution　of　learning　could　confer。

Twichell　wrote：

I　want　you　to　understand；　old　fellow；　that　it　will　be　in　its　intention
the　highest　public　compliment；　and　emphatically　so　in　your　case；　for　it
will　be　tendered　you　by　a　corporation　of　gentlemen；　the　majority　of　whom
do　not　at　all　agree　with　the　views　on　important　questions　which　you　have
lately　promulgated　in　speech　and　in　writing；　and　with　which　you　are
identified　to　the　public　mind。　　They　grant；　of　course；　your　right　to　hold
and　express　those　views；　though　for　themselves　they　don't　like　'em；　but
in　awarding　you　the　proposed　laurel　they　will　make　no　count　of　that
whatever。　　Their　action　will　appropriately　signify　simply　and　solely
their　estimate　of　your　merit　and　rank　as　a　man　of　letters；　and　so；　as　I
say；　the　compliment　of　it　will　be　of　the　pure；　unadulterated　quality。

Howells　was　not　especially　eager　to　go；　and　tried　to　conspire　with
Clemens　to　arrange　some　excuse　which　would　keep　them　at　home。

I　remember　with　satisfaction　＇he　wrote＇　our　joint　success　in　keeping　away
from　the　Concord　Centennial　in　1875；　and　I　have　been　thinking　we　might
help　each　other　in　this　matter　of　the　Yale　Anniversary。　　What　are　your
plans　for　getting　left；　or　shall　you　trust　to　inspiration？

Their　plans　did　not　avail。　　Both　Howells　and　Clemens　went　to　New　Haven　to
receive　their　honors。

When　they　had　returned；　Howells　wrote　formally；　as　became　the　new　rank：

　　　　　DEAR　SIR；I　have　long　been　an　admirer　of　your　complete　works；
　　　　　several　of　which　I　have　read；　and　I　am　with　you　shoulder　to　shoulder
　　　　　in　the　cause　of　foreign　missions。　　I　would　respectfully　request　a
　　　　　personal　interview；　and　if　you　will　appoint　some　day　and　hour　most
　　　　　inconvenient　to　you　I　will　call　at　your　baronial　hall。　　I　cannot
　　　　　doubt；　from　the　account　of　your　courtesy　given　me　by　the　Twelve
　　　　　Apostles；　who　once　visited　you　in　your　Hartford　home　and　were
　　　　　mistaken　for　a　syndicate　of　lightning…rod　men；　that　our　meeting　will
　　　　　be　mutually　agreeable。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Yours　truly；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　W。　D。　HOWELLS。
　　　　　DR。　CLEMENS。




CCXVII

MARK　TWAIN　IN　POLITICS

There　was　a　campaign　for　the　mayoralty　of　New　York　City　that　fall；　with
Seth　Low　on　the　Fusion　ticket　against　Edward　M。　Shepard　as　the　Tammany
candidate。　　Mark　Twain　entered　the　arena　to　try　to　defeat　Tammany　Hall。　
He　wrote　and　he　spoke　in　favor　of　clean　city　government　and　police
reform。　　He　was　savagely　in　earnest　and　openly　denounced　the　clan　of
Croker；　individually　and　collectively。　　He　joined　a　society　called　'The
Acorns'；　and　on　the　17th　of　October；　at　a　dinner　given　by　the　order　at
the　Waldorf…Astoria；　delivered　a　fierce　arraignment；　in　which　he
characterized　Croker　as　the　Warren　Hastings　of　New　York。　　His　speech　was
really　a　set　of　extracts　from　Edmund　Burke's　great　impeachment　of
Hastings；　substituting　always　the　name　of　Croker；　and　paralleling　his
career　with　that　of　the　ancient　boss　of　the　East　India　Company。

It　was　not　a　humorous　speech。　　It　was　too　denunciatory　for　that。　　It
probably　contained　less　comic　phrasing　than　any　former　effort。　　There　is
hardly　even　a　suggestion　of　humor　from　beginning　to　end。　　It　concluded
with　this　paraphrase　of　Burke's　impeachment：

　　　　　I　impeach　Richard　Croker　of　high　crimes　and　misdemeanors。　　I　impeach
　　　　　him　in　the　name　of　the　people；　whose　trust　he　has　betrayed。

　　　　　I　impeach　him　in　the　name　of　all　the　people　of　America；　whose
　　　　　national　character　he　has　dishonored。

　　　　　I　impeach　him　in　the　name　and　by　virtue　of　those　eternal　laws　of
　　　　　justice　which　he　has　violated。

　　　　　I　impeach　him　in　the　name　of　human　nature　itself；　which　he　has
　　　　　cruelly　outraged；　injured；　and　oppressed；　in　both　sexes；　in　every
　　　　　age；　rank；　situation；　and　condition　of　life。

The　Acorn　speech　was　greatly　relied　upon　for　damage　to　the　Tammany　ranks；
and　hundreds　of　thousands　of　copies　of　it　were　printed　and　circulated。
＇The　〃Edmund　Burke　on　Croker　and　Tammany　〃　speech　had　originally　been
written　as　an　article　for　the　North　American　Review。＇

Clemens　was　really　heart　and　soul　in　the　campaign。　　He　even　joined　a
procession　that　marched　up　Broadway；　and　he　made　a　speech　to　a　great
assemblage　at　Broadway　and　Leonard　Street；　when；　as　he　said；　he　had　been
sick　abed　two　days　and；　according　to　the　doctor；　should　be　in　bed　then。

　　　　　But　I　would　not　stay　at　home　for　a　nursery　disease；　and　that's　what
　　　　　I've　got。　　Now；　don't　let　this　leak　out　all　over　town；　but　I've　been
　　　　　doing　some　indiscreet　eatingthat's　all。　　It　wasn't　drinking。　　If
　　　　　it　had　been　I　shouldn't　have　said　anything　about　it。

　　　　　I　ate　a　banana。　　I　bought　it　just　to　clinch　the　Italian　vote　for
　　　　　fusion；　but　I　got　hold　of　a　Tammany　banana　by　mistake。　　Just　one
　　　　　little　nub　of　it　on　the　end　was　nice　and　white。　　That　was　the
　　　　　Shepard　end。　　The　other　nine…tenths　were　rotten。　　Now　that　little
　　　　　white　end　won't　make　the　rest　of　the　banana　good。　　The　nine…tenths
　　　　　will　make　that　little　nub　rotten；　too。

　　　　　We　must　get　rid　of　the　whole　banana；　and　our　Acorn　Society　is　going
　　　　　to　do　its　share；　for　it　is　pledged　to　nothing　but　the　support　of