the patrician-第46章

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life　of　a　bird；　between　those　swift　sweeps　of　darkness。　　This　great
uncanny　spirit；　brooding　malevolent　over　the　high　leagues　of　moon…wan
grass；　seemed　waiting　to　swoop；　and　pluck　up　in　its　talons；　and
devour；　all　that　intruded　on　the　wild　loneness　of　these　far…up　plains
of　freedom。　　Barbara　almost　expected　to　hear　coming　from　it　the　lost
whistle　of　the　buzzard　hawks。　　And　her　dream　came　back　to　her。　　Where
were　her　wings…the　wings　that　in　sleep　had　borne　her　to　the　stars；
the　wings　that　would　never　lift　herwakingfrom　the　ground？　　Where
too　were　Miltoun's　wings？　　She　crouched　back　into　her　corner；　a　tear
stole　up　and　trickled　out　between　her　closed　lids…another　and　another
followed。　　Faster　and　faster　they　came。　　Then　she　felt　Miltoun's　arm
round　her；　and　heard　him　say：　〃Don't　cry；　Babs！〃　　Instinct　telling
her　what　to　do；　she　laid　her　head　against　his　chest；　and　sobbed
bitterly。　　Struggling　with　those　sobs；　she　grew　less　and　less
unhappyknowing　that　he　could　never　again　feel　quite　so　desolate；　as
before　he　tried　to　give　her　comfort。　　It　was　all　a　bad　dream；　and
they　would　soon　wake　from　it！　　And　they　would　be　happy；　as　happy　as
they　had　been　beforebefore　these　last　months！　　And　she　whispered：

〃Only　a　little　while；　Eusty！〃




CHAPTER　XXIX

Old　Lady　Harbinger　dying　in　the　early　February　of　the　following　year；
the　marriage　of　Barbara　with　her　son　was　postponed　till　June。

Much　of　the　wild　sweetness　of　Spring　still　clung　to　the　high　moor
borders　of　Monkland　on　the　early　morning　of　the　wedding　day。

Barbara　was　already　up　and　dressed　for　riding　when　her　maid　came　to
call　her；　and　noting　Stacey's　astonished　eyes　fix　themselves　on　her
boots；　she　said：

〃Well；　Stacey？〃

〃It'll　tire　you。〃

〃Nonsense；　I'm　not　going　to　be　hung。〃

Refusing　the　company　of　a　groom；　she　made　her　way　towards　the　stretch
of　high　moor　where　she　had　ridden　with　Courtier　a　year　ago。　　Here
over　the　short；　as　yet　unflowering；　heather；　there　was　a　mile　or　more
of　level　galloping　ground。　　She　mounted　steadily；　and　her　spirit
rode；　as　it　were；　before　her；　longing　to　get　up　there　among　the
peewits　and　curlew；　to　feel　the　crisp；　peaty　earth　slip　away　under
her；　and　the　wind　drive　in　her　face；　under　that　deep　blue　sky。
Carried　by　this　warm…blooded　sweetheart　of　hers；　ready　to　jump　out　of
his　smooth　hide　with　pleasure；　snuffling　and　sneezing　in　sheer　joy；
whose　eye　she　could　see　straying　round　to　catch　a　glimpse　of　her
intentions；　from　whose　lips　she　could　hear　issuing　the　sweet　bitt…
music；　whose　vagaries　even　seemed　designed　to　startle　from　her　a
closer　embracingshe　was　filled　with　a　sort　of　delicious　impatience
with　everything　that　was　not　this　perfect　communing　with　vigour。

Reaching　the　top；　she　put　him　into　a　gallop。　　With　the　wind　furiously
assailing　her　face　and　throat；　every　muscle　crisped；　and　all　her
blood　tinglingthis　was　a　very　ecstasy　of　motion！

She　reined　in　at　the　cairn　whence　she　and　Courtier　had　looked　down　at
the　herds　of　ponies。　　It　was　the　merest　memory　now；　vague　and　a
little　sweet；　like　the　remembrance　of　some　exceptional　Spring　day；
when　trees　seem　to　flower　before　your　eyes；　and　in　sheer　wantonness
exhale　a　scent　of　lemons。　　The　ponies　were　there　still；　and　in
distance　the　shining　sea。　　She　sat　thinking　of　nothing；　but　how　good
it　was　to　be　alive。　　The　fullness　and　sweetness　of　it　all；　the
freedom　and　strength！　　Away　to　the　West　over　a　lonely　farm　she　could
see　two　buzzard　hawks　hunting　in　wide　circles。　　She　did　not　envy
themso　happy　was　she；　as　happy　as　the　morning。　　And　there　came　to
her　suddenly　the　true；　the　overmastering　longing　of　mountain　tops。

〃I　must；〃　she　thought；　〃I　simply　must！〃

Slipping　off　her　horse　she　lay　down　on　her　back；　and　at　once
everything　was　lost　except　the　sky。　　Over　her　body；　supported　above
solid　earth　by　the　warm；　soft　heather；　the　wind　skimmed　without　sound
or　touch。　　Her　spirit　became　one　with　that　calm　unimaginable　freedom。
Transported　beyond　her　own　contentment；　she　no　longer　even　knew
whether　she　was　joyful。

The　horse　Hal；　attempting　to　eat　her　sleeve；　aroused　her。　　She
mounted　him；　and　rode　down。　　Near　home　she　took　a　short　cut　across　a
meadow；　through　which　flowed　two　thin　bright　streams；　forming　a　delta
full　of　lingering　'milkmaids；'　mauve　marsh　orchis；　and　yellow　flags。
》From　end　to　end　of　this　long　meadow；　so　varied；　so　pied　with　trees
and　stones；　and　flowers；　and　water；　the　last　of　the　Spring　was
passing。

Some　ponies；　shyly　curious　of　Barbara　and　her　horse；　stole　up；　and
stood　at　a　safe　distance；　with　their　noses　dubiously　stretched　out；
swishing　their　lean　tails。　　And　suddenly；　far　up；　following　their　own
music；　two　cuckoos　flew　across；　seeking　the　thorn…trees　out　on　the
moor。　　While　she　was　watching　the　arrowy　birds；　she　caught　sight　of
someone　coming　towards　her　from　a　clump　of　beech…trees；　and　suddenly
saw　that　it　was　Mrs。　Noel！

She　rode　forward；　flushing。　　What　dared　she　say？　　Could　she　speak　of
her　wedding；　and　betray　Miltoun's　presence？　　Could　she　open　her　mouth
at　all　without　rousing　painful　feeling　of　some　sort？　　Then；　impatient
of　indecision；　she　began：

〃I'm　so　glad　to　see　you　again。　　I　didn't　know　you　were　still　down
here。〃

〃I　only　came　back　to　England　yesterday；　and　I'm　just　here　to　see　to
the　packing　of　my　things。〃

〃Oh！〃　murmured　Barbara。　　〃You　know　what's　happening　to　me；　I
suppose？〃

Mrs。　Noel　smiled；　looked　up；　and　said：　〃I　heard　last　night。　　All　joy
to　you！〃

A　lump　rose　in　Barbara's　throat。

〃I'm　so　glad　to　have　seen　you；〃　she　murmured　once　more；　〃I　expect　I
ought　to　be　getting　on；〃　and　with　the　word　〃　Good…bye；〃　gently
echoed；　she　rode　away。

But　her　mood　of　delight　was　gone；　even　the　horse　Hal　seemed　to　tread
unevenly；　for　all　that　he　was　going　back　to　that　stable　which　ever
appeared　to　him　desirable　ten　minutes　after　he　had　left　it。

Except　that　her　eyes　seemed　darker；　Mrs。　Noel　had　not　changed。　　If
she　had　shown　the　faintest　sign　of　self…pity；　the　girl　would　never
have　felt；　as　she　did　now；　so　sorry　and　upset。

Leaving　the　stables；　she　saw　that　the　wind　was　driving　up　a　huge；
white；　shining　cloud。　　〃Isn't　it　going　to　be　fine　after　all！〃　she
thought。

Re…entering　the　house　by　an　old　and　so…called　secret　stairway　that
led　straight　to　the　library；　she　had　to　traverse　that　great　dark
room。　　There；　buried　in　an　armchair　in　front　of　the　hearth　she　saw
Miltoun　with　a　book　on　his　knee；　not　reading；　but　looking　up　at　the
picture　of　the　old　Cardinal。　　She　hurried　on；　tiptoeing　over　the。
soft　carpet；　holding　her　breath；　fearful　of　disturbing　the　queer
interview；　feeling　guilty；　too；　of　her　new　knowledge；　which　she　did
not　mean　to　impart。　　She　had　burnt　her　fingers　once　at　the　flame
between　them；　she　would　not　do　so　a　second　time！

Through　the　window　at　the　far　end　she　saw　that　the　cloud　had　burst；
it　was　raining　furiously。　　She　regained　her　bedroom　unseen。　　In　spite
of　her　joy　out　there　on　the　moor；　this　last　adventure　of　her　girlhood
had　not　been　all　success；　she　had　again　the　old　sensations；　the　old
doubts；　the　dissatisfaction　which　she　had　thought　dead。　　Those　two！
To　shut　one's　eyes；　and　be　happywas　it　possible！　　A　great　rainbow；
the　nearest　she　had　ever　seen；　had　sprung　up　in　the　park；　and　was
come　to　earth　again　in　some　fields　close　by。　　The　sun　was　shining　out
already　through　the　wind…driven　bright　rain。　　Jewels　of　blue　had
begun　to　star　the　black　and　white　and　golden　clouds。　　A　strange　white
light…ghost　of　Spring　passing　in　this　last　violent　outburst…painted
the　leaves　of　every　tree；　and　a　hundred　savage　hues　had　come　down
like　a　motley　of　bright　birds　on　moor　and　fields。

The　moment　of　desperate　beauty　caught　Barbara　by　the　throat。　　Its
spirit　of　galloping　wildness　flew　straight　into　her　heart。　　She
clasped　her　hands　across　her　breast　to　try　and　keep　that　moment。　　Far
out；　a　cuckoo　hooted…and　the　immortal　call　passed　on　the　wind。　　In
that　call　all　the　beauty；　and　colour；　and　rapture　of　life　seemed　to
be　flying　by。　　If　she　could　only　seize　and　evermore　have　it　in　her
heart；　as　the　buttercups　out　there　imprisoned　the　sun；　or　the　fallen
raindrops　on　the　sweetbriars　round　the　windows　enclosed　all　changing
light！　　If　only　there　were　no　chains；　no　walls；　and　finality　were
dead！

Her　clock　struck　ten。　　At　this　time　to…morrow！　　Her　cheeks　turned
hot；　in　a　mirror　she　could　see　them　burning；　her　lips　scornfully
curved；　her　eyes　strange。　　Standing　there；　she　looked　long　at
herself；　till；　little　by　little；　her　face　lost　every　vestige　of　that
disturbance；　became　solid　and　resolute　again。　　She　ceased　to　have　the
galloping　wild　feeling　in　her　heart；　and　instead　felt　cold。　　Detached
from　herself　she　watched；　with　contentment；　her　own　calm　and　radiant
beauty　resume　the　armour　it　had　for　that　moment　put　off。

After　dinner　that　night；　when　the　men　left　the　dining…hall；　Miltoun
slipped　away　to　his　den。　　Of　all　those　present　in　the　little　church
he　had　seemed　most　unemotional；　and　had　been　most　moved。　　Though　it
had　been　so　quiet　and　private　a　wedding；　he　had　resented　all　cheap
festivity　accompanying　the　passing　of　his　young　sister。　　He　would
have　had　that　ceremony　in　the　little　dark　disused　chapel　at　the
Court；　those　two；　and　the　priest　alone。　　Here；　in　this　half…pagan
little　country　church　smothered　hastily　in　flowers；　with　the　raw
singing　of　the　half…pagan　choir；　and　all　the　village　curiosity　and
homage…everything　had　jarred；　and　the　stale　aftermath　sickened　him。
Changing　his　swallow…tail　to　an　old　smoking　jacket；　he　went　out　on　to
the　lawn。　　In　the　wide　darkness　he　could　rid　himself　of　his
exasperation。

Since　the　day　of　his　election　he　had　not　once　been　at　Monkland；　since
Mrs。　Noel's　flight　he　had　never　left　London。　　In　London　and　work　he
had　buried　himself；　by　London　and　work　he　had　saved　himself！　　He　had
gone　down　into　the　battle。

Dew　had　not　yet　fallen；　and　he　took　the　path　across　the　fields。
There　was　no　moon；　no　stars；　no　wind；　the　cattle　were　noiseless　under
the　trees；　there　were　no　owls　calling；　no　night…jars　churring；　the
fly…by…night　chafers　were　not　abroad。　　The　stream　alone　was　alive　in
the　quiet　darkness。　　And　as　Miltoun　followed　the　wispy　line　of　grey
path　cleaving　the　dim　glamour　of　daisies　and　buttercups；　there　came
to　him　the　feeling　that　he　was　in　the　presence；　not　of　sleep；　but　of
eternal　waiting。　　The　sound　of　his　footfalls　seemed　desecration。　　So
devotional　was　that　hush；　burning　the　spicy　incense　of　millions　of
leaves　and　blades　of　grass。

Crossing　the　last　stile　he　came　out；　close　to　her　deserted　cottage；
under　her　lime…tree；　which　on　the　night　of　Courtier's　adventure　had
hung　blue…black　round　the　moon。　　On　that　side；　only　a　rail；　and　a　few
shrubs　confined　her　garden。

The　house　was　all　dark；　but　the　many　tall　white　flowers；　like　a
bright　vapour　rising　from　earth；　clung　to　the　air　above　the　beds。
Leaning　against　the　tree　Miltoun　gave　himself　to　memory。

》From　the　silent　boughs　which　drooped　round　his　dark　figure；　a　little
sleepy　bird　uttered　a　faint　cheep；　a　hedgehog；　or　some　small　beast　of
night；　rustled　away　in　the　grass　close　by；　a　moth　flew　past；　seeking
its　candle　flame。　　And　something　in　Miltoun's　heart　took　wings　after
it；　searching　for　the　warmth　and　light　of　his　blow