winesburg,ohio-第19章

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o　rumble　and　flashes　of　heat　lightning　lit　up　the　eastern　sky。　　The　garden　that　had　been　so　mysterious　and　vast；　a　place　that　with　Seth　beside　her　might　have　become　the　background　for　strange　and　wonderful　adven…　tures；　now　seemed　no　more　than　an　ordinary　Wines…　burg　back　yard；　quite　definite　and　limited　in　its　outlines。

〃What　will　you　do　up　there？〃　she　whispered。

Seth　turned　half　around　on　the　bench；　striving　to　see　her　face　in　the　darkness。　　He　thought　her　infi…　nitely　more　sensible　and　straightforward　than　George　Willard；　and　was　glad　he　had　come　away　from　his　friend。　　A　feeling　of　impatience　with　the　town　that　had　been　in　his　mind　returned；　and　he　tried　to　tell　her　of　it。　　〃Everyone　talks　and　talks；〃　he　began。　　〃I'm　sick　of　it。　　I'll　do　something；　get　into　some　kind　of　work　where　talk　don't　count。　　Maybe　I'll　just　be　a　mechanic　in　a　shop。　　I　don't　know。　　I　guess　I　don't　care　much。　　I　just　want　to　work　and　keep　quiet。　That's　all　I've　got　in　my　mind。〃

Seth　arose　from　the　bench　and　put　out　his　hand。　He　did　not　want　to　bring　the　meeting　to　an　end　but　could　not　think　of　anything　more　to　say。　　〃It's　the　last　time　we'll　see　each　other；〃　he　whispered。

A　wave　of　sentiment　swept　over　Helen。　　Putting　her　hand　upon　Seth's　shoulder；　she　started　to　draw　his　face　down　toward　her　own　upturned　face。　　The　act　was　one　of　pure　affection　and　cutting　regret　that　some　vague　adventure　that　had　been　present　in　the　spirit　of　the　night　would　now　never　be　realized。　　〃I　think　I'd　better　be　going　along；〃　she　said；　letting　her　hand　fall　heavily　to　her　side。　　A　thought　came　to　her。　〃Don't　you　go　with　me；　I　want　to　be　alone；〃　she　said。　　〃You　go　and　talk　with　your　mother。　　You'd　better　do　that　now。〃

Seth　hesitated　and；　as　he　stood　waiting；　the　girl　turned　and　ran　away　through　the　hedge。　　A　desire　to　run　after　her　came　to　him；　but　he　only　stood　staring；　perplexed　and　puzzled　by　her　action　as　he　had　been　perplexed　and　puzzled　by　all　of　the　life　of　the　town　out　of　which　she　had　come。　　Walking　slowly　toward　the　house；　he　stopped　in　the　shadow　of　a　large　tree　and　looked　at　his　mother　sitting　by　a　lighted　window　busily　sewing。　　The　feeling　of　loneli…　ness　that　had　visited　him　earlier　in　the　evening　re…　turned　and　colored　his　thoughts　of　the　adventure　through　which　he　had　just　passed。　　〃Huh！〃　he　ex…　claimed；　turning　and　staring　in　the　direction　taken　by　Helen　White。　　〃That's　how　things'll　turn　out。　She'll　be　like　the　rest。　　I　suppose　she'll　begin　now　to　look　at　me　in　a　funny　way。〃　He　looked　at　the　ground　and　pondered　this　thought。　　〃She'll　be　em…　barrassed　and　feel　strange　when　I'm　around；〃　he　whispered　to　himself。　　〃That's　how　it'll　be。　　That's　how　everything'll　turn　out。　　When　it　comes　to　loving　someone；　it　won't　never　be　me。　　It'll　be　someone　elsesome　foolsomeone　who　talks　a　lotsome…　one　like　that　George　Willard。〃




TANDY

UNTIL　SHE　WAS　seven　years　old　she　lived　in　an　old　unpainted　house　on　an　unused　road　that　led　off　Trunion　Pike。　　Her　father　gave　her　but　little　attention　and　her　mother　was　dead。　　The　father　spent　his　time　talking　and　thinking　of　religion。　　He　proclaimed　him…　self　an　agnostic　and　was　so　absorbed　in　destroying　the　ideas　of　God　that　had　crept　into　the　minds　of　his　neighbors　that　he　never　saw　God　manifesting　himself　in　the　little　child　that；　half　forgotten；　lived　here　and　there　on　the　bounty　of　her　dead　mother's　relatives。

A　stranger　came　to　Winesburg　and　saw　in　the　child　what　the　father　did　not　see。　　He　was　a　tall；　red…　haired　young　man　who　was　almost　always　drunk。　Sometimes　he　sat　in　a　chair　before　the　New　Willard　House　with　Tom　Hard；　the　father。　　As　Tom　talked；　declaring　there　could　be　no　God；　the　stranger　smiled　and　winked　at　the　bystanders。　　He　and　Tom　became　friends　and　were　much　together。

The　stranger　was　the　son　of　a　rich　merchant　of　Cleveland　and　had　come　to　Winesburg　on　a　mission。　He　wanted　to　cure　himself　of　the　habit　of　drink；　and　thought　that　by　escaping　from　his　city　associates　and　living　in　a　rural　community　he　would　have　a　better　chance　in　the　struggle　with　the　appetite　that　was　destroying　him。

His　sojourn　in　Winesburg　was　not　a　success。　　The　dullness　of　the　passing　hours　led　to　his　drinking　harder　than　ever。　　But　he　did　succeed　in　doing　some…　thing。　　He　gave　a　name　rich　with　meaning　to　Tom　Hard's　daughter。

One　evening　when　he　was　recovering　from　a　long　debauch　the　stranger　came　reeling　along　the　main　street　of　the　town。　　Tom　Hard　sat　in　a　chair　before　the　New　Willard　House　with　his　daughter；　then　a　child　of　five；　on　his　knees。　　Beside　him　on　the　board　sidewalk　sat　young　George　Willard。　　The　stranger　dropped　into　a　chair　beside　them。　　His　body　shook　and　when　he　tried　to　talk　his　voice　trembled。

It　was　late　evening　and　darkness　lay　over　the　town　and　over　the　railroad　that　ran　along　the　foot　of　a　little　incline　before　the　hotel。　　Somewhere　in　the　distance；　off　to　the　west；　there　was　a　prolonged　blast　from　the　whistle　of　a　passenger　engine。　　A　dog　that　had　been　sleeping　in　the　roadway　arose　and　barked。　The　stranger　began　to　babble　and　made　a　prophecy　concerning　the　child　that　lay　in　the　arms　of　the　agnostic。

〃I　came　here　to　quit　drinking；〃　he　said；　and　tears　began　to　run　down　his　cheeks。　　He　did　not　look　at　Tom　Hard；　but　leaned　forward　and　stared　into　the　darkness　as　though　seeing　a　vision。　　〃I　ran　away　to　the　country　to　be　cured；　but　I　am　not　cured。　　There　is　a　reason。〃　He　turned　to　look　at　the　child　who　sat　up　very　straight　on　her　father's　knee　and　returned　the　look。

The　stranger　touched　Tom　Hard　on　the　arm。　〃Drink　is　not　the　only　thing　to　which　I　am　ad…　dicted；〃　he　said。　　〃There　is　something　else。　　I　am　a　lover　and　have　not　found　my　thing　to　love。　　That　is　a　big　point　if　you　know　enough　to　realize　what　I　mean。　　It　makes　my　destruction　inevitable；　you　see。　There　are　few　who　understand　that。〃

The　stranger　became　silent　and　seemed　overcome　with　sadness；　but　another　blast　from　the　whistle　of　the　passenger　engine　aroused　him。　　〃I　have　not　lost　faith。　　I　proclaim　that。　　I　have　only　been　brought　to　the　place　where　I　know　my　faith　will　not　be　real…　ized；〃　he　declared　hoarsely。　　He　looked　hard　at　the　child　and　began　to　address　her；　paying　no　more　at…　tention　to　the　father。　　〃There　is　a　woman　coming；〃　he　said；　and　his　voice　was　now　sharp　and　earnest。　〃I　have　missed　her；　you　see。　　She　did　not　come　in　my　time。　　You　may　be　the　woman。　　It　would　be　like　fate　to　let　me　stand　in　her　presence　once；　on　such　an　evening　as　this；　when　I　have　destroyed　myself　with　drink　and　she　is　as　yet　only　a　child。〃

The　shoulders　of　the　stranger　shook　violently；　and　when　he　tried　to　roll　a　cigarette　the　paper　fell　from　his　trembling　fingers。　　He　grew　angry　and　scolded。　〃They　think　it's　easy　to　be　a　woman；　to　be　loved；　but　I　know　better；〃　he　declared。　　Again　he　turned　to　the　child。　　〃I　understand；〃　he　cried。　　〃Perhaps　of　all　men　I　alone　understand。〃

His　glance　again　wandered　away　to　the　darkened　street。　　〃I　know　about　her；　although　she　has　never　crossed　my　path；〃　he　said　softly。　　〃I　know　about　her　struggles　and　her　defeats。　　It　is　because　of　her　defeats　that　she　is　to　me　the　lovely　one。　　Out　of　her　defeats　has　been　born　a　new　quality　in　woman。　　I　have　a　name　for　it。　　I　call　it　Tandy。　　I　made　up　the　name　when　I　was　a　true　dreamer　and　before　my　body　became　vile。　　It　is　the　quality　of　being　strong　to　be　loved。　　It　is　something　men　need　from　women　and　that　they　do　not　get。　　〃

The　stranger　arose　and　stood　before　Tom　Hard。　His　body　rocked　back　and　forth　and　he　seemed　about　to　fall；　but　instead　he　dropped　to　his　knees　on　the　sidewalk　and　raised　the　hands　of　the　little　girl　to　his　drunken　lips。　　He　kissed　them　ecstatically。　〃Be　Tandy；　little　one；〃　he　pleaded。　　〃Dare　to　be　strong　and　courageous。　　That　is　the　road。　　Venture　anything。　　Be　brave　enough　to　dare　to　be　loved。　　Be　something　more　than　man　or　woman。　　Be　Tandy。〃

The　stranger　arose　and　staggered　off　down　the　street。　　A　day　or　two　later　he　got　aboard　a　train　and　returned　to　his　home　in　Cleveland。　　On　the　summer　evening；　after　the　talk　before　the　hotel；　Tom　Hard　took　the　girl　child　to　the　house　of　a　relative　where　she　had　been　invited　to　spend　the　night。　　As　he　went　along　in　the　darkness　under　the　trees　he　forgot　the　babbling　voice　of　the　stranger　and　his　mind　returned　to　the　making　of　arguments　by　which　he　might　de…　stroy　men's　faith　in　God。　　He　spoke　his　daughter's　name　and　she　began　to　weep。

〃I　don't　want　to　be　called　that；〃　she　declared。　　〃I　want　to　be　called　TandyTandy　Hard。〃　The　child　wept　so　bitterly　that　Tom　Hard　was　touched　and　tried　to　comfort　her。　　He　stopped　beneath　a　tree　and；　taking　her　into　his　arms；　began　to　caress　her。　　〃Be　good；　now；〃　he　said　sharply；　but　she　would　not　be　quieted。　　With　childish　abandon　she　gave　herself　over　to　grief；　her　voice　breaking　the　evening　stillness　of　the　street。　　〃I　want　to　be　Tandy。　　I　want　to　be　Tandy。　　I　want　to　be　Tandy　Hard；〃　she　cried；　shak…　ing　her　head　and　sobbing　as　though　her　young　strength　were　not　enough　to　bear　the　vision　the　words　of　the　drunkard　had　brought　to　her。




THE　STRENGTH　OF　GOD

THE　REVEREND　Curtis　Hartman　was　pastor　of　the　Presbyterian　Church　of　Winesburg；　and　had　been　in　that　position　ten　years。　　He　was　forty　years　old；　and　by　his　nature　very　silent　and　reticent。　　To　preach；　standing　in　the　pulpit　before　the　people；　was　always　a　hardship　for　him　and　from　Wednesday　morning　until　Saturday　evening　he　thought　of　nothing　but　the　two　sermons　that　must　be　preached　on　Sunday。　Early　on　Sunday　morning　he　went　into　a　little　room　called　a　study　in　the　bell　tower　of　the　church　and　prayed。　　In　his　prayers　there　was　one　note　that　al…　ways　predominated。　　〃Give　me　strength　and　courage　for　Thy　work；　O　Lord！〃　he　pleaded；　kneeling　on　the　bare　floor　and　bowing　his　head　in　the　presence　of　the　task　that　lay　before　him。

The　Reverend　Hartman　was　a　tall　man　with　a　brown　beard。　　His　wife；　a　stout；　nervous　woman；　was　the　daughter　of　a　manufacturer　of　underwear　at　Cleveland；　Ohio。　　The　minister　himself　was　rather　a　favorite　in　the　town。　　The　elders　of　the　church　liked　him　because　he　was　quiet　and　unpretentious　and　Mrs。　White；　the　banker's　wife；　thought　him　schol…　arly　and　refined。

The　Presbyterian　Church　held　itself　somewhat　aloof　from　the　other　churches　of　Winesburg。　　It　was　larger　and　more　imposing　and　its　minister　was　better　paid。　　He　even　had　a　carriage　of　his　own　and　on　summer　evenings　sometimes　drove　about　town　with　his　wife。　　Through　Main　Street　and　up　and　down　Buckeye　Street　he　went；　bowing　gravely　to　the　peo…　ple；　while　his　wife；　afire　with　secret　pride；　looked　at　him　out　of　the　corners　of　her　eyes　and　worried　lest　the　horse　become　frightened　and　run　away。

For　a　good　many　years　after　he　came　to　Wines…　burg　things　went　well　with　Curtis　Hartman。　　He　was　not　one　to　arouse　keen　enthusiasm　among　the　wor…　shippers　in　his　church　but　on　the　other　hand　he　made　no　enemies。　　In　reality　he　was　much　in　earnest　and　sometimes　suffered　prolonged　periods　of　re…　morse　because　he　could　not　go　crying　the　word　of　God　in　the　highways　and　byways　of　the　town。　　He　wondered　if　the　flame　of　the　spirit　really　burned　in　him　and　dreamed　of　a　day　when　a　strong　sweet　new　current　of　power　would　come　like　a　great　wind　into　his　voice　and　his　soul　and　the　people　would　tremble　before　the　spirit　of　God　made　manifest　in　him。　　〃I　am　a　poor　stick　and