the mahatma and the hare-第2章

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purchased　a　bust　or　a　tazza　for　a　surprisingly　small　sum。　Perhaps　I
knocked　it　down　to　you；　only　too　pleased　to　find　a　/bona　fide/　bidder
amongst　my　company。

As　for　the　rest　of　my　timewell；　I　employ　it　in　doing　what　good　I　can
among　the　poor　and　those　who　need　comfort　or　who　are　bereaved；
especially　among　those　who　are　bereaved；　for　to　such　I　am　sometimes
able　to　bring　the　breath　of　hope　that　blows　from　another　shore。

Occasionally　also　I　amuse　myself　in　my　own　fashion。　Thus　sure
knowledge　has　come　to　me　about　certain　epochs　in　the　past　in　which　I
lived　in　other　shapes；　and　I　study　those　epochs；　hoping　that　one　day　I
may　find　time　to　write　of　them　and　of　the　parts　I　played　in　them。　Some
of　these　parts　are　extremely　interesting；　especially　as　I　am　of　course
able　to　contrast　them　with　our　modern　modes　of　thought　and　action。

They　do　not　all　come　back　to　me　with　equal　clearness；　the　earlier
lives　being；　as　one　might　expect；　the　more　difficult　to　recover　and
the　comparatively　recent　ones　the　easiest。　Also　they　seem　to　range
over　a　vast　stretch　of　time；　back　indeed　to　the　days　of　primeval；
prehistoric　man。　In　short；　I　think　the　subconscious　in　some　ways
resembles　the　conscious　and　natural　memory；　that　which　is　very　far　off
to　it　grows　dim　and　blurred；　that　which　is　comparatively　close　remains
clear　and　sharp；　although　of　course　this　rule　is　not　invariable。
Moreover　there　is　foresight　as　well　as　memory。　At　least　from　time　to
time　I　seem　to　come　in　touch　with　future　events　and　states　of　society
in　which　I　shall　have　my　share。

I　believe　some　thinkers　hold　a　theory　that　such　conditions　as　those　of
past；　present；　and　future　do　not　in　fact　exist；　that　everything
already　is；　standing　like　a　completed　column　between　earth　and　heaven；
that　the　sum　is　added　up；　the　equation　worked　out。　At　times　I　am
tempted　to　believe　in　the　truth　of　this　proposition。　But　if　it　be
true；　of　course　it　remains　difficult　to　obtain　a　clear　view　of　other
parts　of　the　column　than　that　in　which　we　happen　to　find　ourselves
objectively　conscious　at　any　given　period；　and　needless　to　say
impossible　to　see　it　from　base　to　capital。

However　this　may　be；　no　individual　entity　pervades　all　the　column。
There　are　great　sections　of　it　with　which　that　entity　has　nothing　to
do；　although　it　always　seems　to　appear　again　above。　I　suppose　that
those　sections　which　are　empty　of　an　individual　and　his　atmosphere
represent　the　intervals　between　his　lives　which　he　spends　in　sleep；　or
in　states　of　existence　with　which　this　world　is　not　concerned；　but　of
such　gulfs　of　oblivion　and　states　of　being　I　know　nothing。

To　take　a　single　instance　of　what　I　do　know：　once　this　spirit　of　mine；
that　now　by　the　workings　of　destiny　for　a　little　while　occupies　the
body　of　a　fourth…rate　auctioneer；　and　of　the　editor　of　a　trade
journal；　dwelt　in　that　of　a　Pharaoh　of　Egyptnever　mind　which
Pharoah。　Yes；　although　you　may　laugh　and　think　me　mad　to　say　it；　for
me　the　legions　fought　and　thundered；　to　me　the　peoples　bowed　and　the
secret　sanctuaries　were　opened　that　I　and　I　alone　might　commune　with
the　gods；　I　who　in　the　flesh　and　after　it　myself　was　worshipped　as　a
god。

Well；　of　this　forgotten　Royalty　of　whom　little　is　known　save　what　a
few　inscriptions　have　to　tell；　there　remains　a　portrait　statue　in　the
British　Museum。　Sometimes　I　go　to　look　at　that　statue　and　try　to
recall　exactly　under　what　circumstances　I　caused　it　to　be　shaped；
puzzling　out　the　story　bit　by　bit。

Not　long　ago　I　stood　thus　absorbed　and　did　not　notice　that　the　hour　of
the　closing　of　the　great　gallery　had　come。　Still　I　stood　and　gazed　and
dreamt　till　the　policeman　on　duty；　seeing　and　suspecting　me；　came　up
and　roughly　ordered　me　to　begone。

The　man's　tone　angered　me。　I　laid　my　hand　on　the　foot　of　the　statue；
for　it　had　just　come　back　to　me　that　it　was　a　〃Ka〃　image；　a　sacred
thing；　any　Egyptologist　will　know　what　I　mean；　which　for　ages　had　sat
in　a　chamber　of　my　tomb。　Then　the　Ka　that　clings　to　it　eternally　awoke
at　my　touch　and　knew　me；　or　so　I　suppose。　At　least　I　felt　myself
change。　A　new　strength　came　into　me；　my　shape；　battered　in　this
world's　storms；　put　on　something　of　its　ancient　dignity；　my　eyes　grew
royal。　I　looked　at　that　man　as　Pharaoh　may　have　looked　at　one　who　had
done　him　insult。　He　saw　the　change　and　trembledyes；　trembled。　I
believe　he　thought　I　was　some　imperial　ghost　that　the　shadows　of
evening　had　caused　him　to　mistake　for　man；　at　any　rate　he　gasped　out

〃I　beg　your　pardon；　I　was　obeying　orders。　I　hope　your　Majesty　won't
hurt　me。　Now　I　think　of　it　I　have　been　told　that　things　come　out　of
these　old　statues　in　the　night。〃

Then　turning　he　ran；　literally　ran；　where　to　I　am　sure　I　do　not　know；
probably　to　seek　the　fellowship　of　some　other　policeman。　In　due　course
I　followed；　and；　lifting　the　bar　at　the　end　of　the　hall；　departed
without　further　question　asked。　Afterwards　I　was　very　glad　to　think
that　I　had　done　the　man　no　injury。　At　the　moment　I　knew　that　I　could
hurt　him　if　I　would；　and　what　is　more　I　had　the　desire　to　do　so。　It
came　to　me；　I　suppose；　with　that　breath　of　the　past　when　I　was　so
great　and　absolute。　Perhaps　I；　or　that　part　of　me　then　incarnate；　was
a　tyrant　in　those　days；　and　this　is　why　now　I　must　be　so　humble。　Fate
is　turning　my　pride　to　its　hammer　and　beating　it　out　of　me。

For　thus　in　the　long　history　of　the　soul　it　serves　all　our　vices。



THE　GREAT　WHITE　ROAD

Now；　as　I　have　hinted；　under　the　teaching　of　Jorsen；　who　saved　me　from
degradation　and　self…murder；　yes；　and　helped　me　with　money　until　once
again　I　could　earn　a　livelihood；　I　have　acquired　certain　knowledge　and
wisdom　of　a　sort　that　are　not　common。　That　is；　Jorsen　taught　me　the
elements　of　these　things；　he　set　my　feet　upon　the　path　which
thenceforward；　having　the　sight；　I　have　been　able　to　follow　for
myself。　How　I　followed　it　does　not　matter；　nor　could　I　teach　others　if
I　would。

I　am　no　member　of　any　mystic　brotherhood；　and；　as　I　have　explained；　no
Mahatma；　although　I　have　called　myself　thus　for　present　purposes
because　the　name　is　a　convenient　cloak。　I　repeat　that　I　am　ignorant　if
there　are　such　people　as　Mahatmas；　though　if　so　I　think　Jorsen　must　be
one　of　them。　Still　he　never　told　me　this。　What　he　has　told　is　that
every　individual　spirit　must　work　out　its　own　destiny　quite
independently　of　others。　Indeed；　being　rather　fond　of　fine　phrases；　he
has　sometimes　spoken　to　me　of；　or　rather；　insisted　upon　what　he　called
〃the　lonesome　splendour　of　the　human　soul；〃　which　it　is　our　business
to　perfect　through　various　lives　till　I　can　scarcely　appreciate　and　am
certainly　unable　to　describe。

To　tell　the　truth；　the　thought　of　this　〃lonesome　splendour〃　to　which
it　seems　some　of　us　may　attain；　alarms　me。　I　have　had　enough　of　being
lonesome；　and　I　do　not　ask　for　any　particular　splendour。　My　only
ambitions　are　to　find　those　whom　I　have　lost；　and　in　whatever　life　I
live　to　be　of　use　to　others。　However；　as　I　gather　that　the　exalted
condition　to　which　Jorsen　alludes　is　thousands　of　ages　off　for　any　of
us；　and　may　after　all　mean　something　quite　different　to　what　it　seems
to　mean；　the　thought　of　it　does　not　trouble　me　over　much。　Meanwhile
what　I　seek　is　the　vision　of　those　I　love。

Now　I　have　this　power。　Occasionally　when　I　am　in　deep　sleep　some　part
of　me　seems　to　leave　my　body　and　to　be　transported　quite　outside　the
world。　It　travels；　as　though　I　were　already　dead；　to　the　Gates　that
all　who　live　must　pass；　and　there　takes　its　stand；　on　the　Great　White
Road；　watching　those　who　have　been　called　speed　by　continually。　Those
upon　the　earth　know　nothing　of　that　Road。　Blinded　by　their　pomps　and
vanities；　they　cannot　see；　they　will　not　see　it　always　growing　towards
the　feet　of　every　one　of　them。　But　I　see　and　know。　Of　course　you　who
read　will　say　that　this　is　but　a　dream　of　mine；　and　it　may　be。　Still；
if　so；　it　is　a　very　wonderful　dream；　and　except　for　the　change　of　the
passing　people；　or　rather　of　those　who　have　been　people；　always　very
much　the　same。

There；　straight　as　the　way　of　the　Spirit　and　broad　as　the　breast　of
Death；　is　the　Great　White　Road　running　I　know　not　whence；　up　to　those
Gates　that　gleam　like　moonlight　and　are　higher　than　the　Alps。　There
beyond　the　Gates　the　radiant　Presences　move　mysteriously。　Thence　at
the　appointed　time　the　Voice　cries　and　they　are　opened　with　a　sound
like　to　that　of　deepest　thunder；　or　sometimes　are　burned　away；　while
from　the　Glory　that　lies　beyond　flow　the　sweet…faced　welcomers　to
greet　those　for　whom　they　wait；　bearing　the　cups　from　which　they　give
to　drink。　I　do　not　know　what　is　in　the　cups；　whether　it　be　a　draught
of　Lethe　or　some　baptismal　water　of　new　birth；　or　both；　but　always　the
thirsting；　world…worn　soul　appears　to　change；　and　then　as　it　were　to
be　lost　in　the　Presence　that　gave　the　cup。　At　least　they　are　lost　to
my　sight。　I　see　them　no　more。

Why　do　I　watch　those　Gates；　in　truth　or　in　dream；　before　my　time？　Oh！
You　can　guess。　That　perchance　I　may　behold　those　for　whom　my　heart
burns　with　a　quenchless；　eating　fire。　And　once　I　beheldnot　the
mother　but　the　child；　my　child；　changed　indeed；　mysterious；　wonderful；
gleaming　like　a　star；　with　eyes　so　deep　that　in　their　depths　my
humanity　seemed　to　swoon。

She　came　forward；　she　knew　me；　she　smiled　and　laid　her　finger　on　her
lips。　She　shook　her　hair　about　her　and　in　it　vanished　as　in　a　cloud。
Yet　as　she　vanished　a　voice　spoke　in　my　heart；　her　voice；　and　the
words　it　said　were

〃Wait；　our　Beloved！　Wait！〃

Mark　well。　〃Our　Beloved；〃　not　〃My　Beloved。〃　So　there　are　others　by
whom　I　am　beloved；　or　at　least　one　other；　and　I　know　well　who　that　one
must　be。

*****

After　this　dream；　perhaps　I　had　better　call　it　a　dream；　I　was　ill　for
a　long　while；　for　the　joy　and　the　glory　of　it　overpowered　me　and
brought　me　near　to　the　death　I　had　always　sought。　But　I　recovered；　for
my　hour　is　not　yet。　Moreover；　for　a　long　while　as　we　reckon　time；　some
years　indeed；　I　obeyed　the　injunction　and　sought　the　Great　White　Road
no　more。　At　length　the　longing　grew　too　strong　for　me　and　I　returned
thither；　but　never　again　did　the　vision　come。　Its　word　was　spoken；　its
mission　was　fulfilled。　Yet　from　time　to　time　I；　a　mortal；　seem　to
stand　upon　the　borders　of　that　immortal　Road　and　watch　the　newly　dead
who　travel　it　towards　the　glorious　Gates。

Once　or　twice　there　have　been　among　them　people　whom　I　have　known。　As
these　pass　me　I　appear　to　have　the　power　of　looking　into　their　hearts；
and　there　I　read　strange　things。　Sometimes　they　are　beautiful　things
and　sometimes　ugly　things。　Thus　I　have　learned　that　those　I　thought
bad　were　really　good　in　the　main；　for　who　can　claim　to　be　quite　good？
And　on　the　other　hand　that　those　I　believed　to　be　as　honest　as　the　day
well；　had　their　faults。

To　take　an　example　which　I　quote　because　it　is　so　absurd。　The　rooms　I
live　in　were　owned　by　a　prim　old　woman　who　for　more　than　twenty　years
was　my　landlady。　She　and　I　were　great　friends；　indeed　she　tended　me
like　a　mother；　and　when　I　was　so　ill　nursed　me　as　perhaps　few　mothers
would　have　done。　Yet　while　I　was　watching　on　the　Road　suddenly　she
came　by；　and　with　horror　I　saw　that　during　all　those　years　she　had
been　robbing　me；　taking；　I　am　sorry　to　say；　many　things；　i