dream life and real life(梦境与现实)-第5章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
saw her three times before he proposed to her。 Do you think it is true？〃
〃Yes； it is quite true。〃
〃He can't love her。 They say he's only marrying her for her rank and
her money。〃
The woman turned quickly。
〃What right have you to say that？ No one but I know him。 What
need has he of any one's rank or wealth？ He is greater than them all！
Older women may have failed him； he has needed to turn to her beautiful；
fresh； young life to compensate him。 She is a woman whom any man
19
… Page 20…
Dream Life and Real Life A Little African Story
might have loved； so young and beautiful； her family are famed for their
intellect。 If he trains her； she may make him a better wife than any other
woman would have done。〃
〃Oh； but I can't bear itI can't bear it！〃 The younger woman sat
down in the chair。 〃She will be his wife； and have his children。〃
〃Yes。〃 The elder woman moved quickly。 〃One wants to have the
child； and lay its head on one's breast and feed it。〃 She moved quickly。
〃It would not matter if another woman bore it； if one had it to take care
of。〃 She moved restlessly。
〃Oh； no； I couldn't bear it to be hers。 When I think of her I feel as if I
were dying； all my fingers turn cold； I feel dead。 Oh； you were only his
friend； you don't know！〃
The older spoke softly and quickly； 〃Don't you feel a little gentle to her
when you think she's going to be his wife and the mother of his child？ I
would like to put my arms round her and touch her once； if she would let
me。 She is so beautiful； they say。〃
〃Oh； I could never bear to see her； it would kill me。 And they are so
happy together today！ He is loving her so！〃
〃Don't you want him to be happy？〃 The older woman looked down
at her。 〃Have you never loved him； at all？〃
The younger woman's face was covered with her hands。 〃Oh； it's so
terrible； so dark！ and I shall go on living year after year； always in this
awful pain！ Oh； if I could only die！〃
The older woman stood looking into the fire； then slowly and
measuredly she said； 〃There are times； in life； when everything seems dark；
when the brain reels； and we cannot see that there is anything but death。
But； if we wait long enough； after long； long years； calm comes。 It may
be we cannot say it was well； but we are contented； we accept the past。
The struggle is ended。 That day may come for you； perhaps sooner than
you think。〃 She spoke slowly and with difficulty。
〃No； it can never come for me。 If once I have loved a thing； I love it
for ever。 I can never forget。〃
〃Love is not the only end in life。 There are other things to live for。〃
〃Oh； yes； for you！ To me love is everything！〃
20
… Page 21…
Dream Life and Real Life A Little African Story
〃Now； you must go； dear。〃
The younger woman stood up。 〃It has been such a comfort to talk to
you。 I think I should have killed myself if I had not come。 You help me
so。 I shall always be grateful to you。〃
The older woman took her hand。
〃I want to ask something of you。〃
〃What is it？〃
〃I cannot quite explain to you。 You will not understand。 But there
are times when something more terrible can come into a life than it should
lose what it loves。 If you have had a dream of what life ought to be； and
you try to make it real； and you fail； and something you have killed out in
your heart for long years wakes up and cries； 'Let each man play his own
game； and care nothing for the hand of his fellow！ Each man for himself。
So the game must be played！' and you doubt all you have lived for； and the
ground seems washing out under your feet。〃 She paused。 〃Such a
time has come to me now。 If you would promise me that if ever another
woman comes to seek your help； you will give it to her； and try to love her
for my sake； I think it will help me。 I think I should be able to keep my
faith。〃
〃Oh； I will do anything you ask me to。 You are so good and great。〃
〃Oh； good and great！if you knew！ Now go； dear。〃
〃I have not kept you from your work； have I？〃
〃No； I have not been working lately。 Good…by； dear。〃
The younger woman went； and the elder knelt down by the chair； and
wailed like a little child when you have struck it and it does not dare to cry
loud。
A year after； it was early spring again。
The woman sat at her desk writing； behind her the fire burnt brightly。
She was writing a leading article on the causes which in differing peoples
lead to the adoption of Free Trade or Protectionist principles。
The woman wrote on quickly。 After a while the servant entered and
laid a pile of letters on the table。 〃Tell the boy I shall have done in fifteen
minutes。〃 She wrote on。 Then she caught sight of the writing on one of
the letters。 She put down her pen； and opened it。 It ran so：
21
… Page 22…
Dream Life and Real Life A Little African Story
〃Dear Friend；I am writing to you； because I know you will rejoice to
hear of my great happiness。 Do you remember how you told me that day
by the fire to wait； and after long； long years I should see that all was for
the best？ That time has come sooner than we hoped。 Last week in
Rome I was married to the best； noblest； most large…hearted of men。 We
are now in Florence together。 You don't know how beautiful all life is to
me。 I know now that the old passion was only a girl's foolish dream。
My husband is the first man I have ever truly loved。 He loves me and
understands me as no other man ever could。 I am thankful that my dream
was broken； God had better things in store for me。 I don't hate that
woman any more； I love every one！ How are you； dear？ We shall come
and see you as soon as we arrive in England。 I always think of you so
happy in your great work and helping other people。 I don't think now it
is terrible to be a woman； it is lovely。
〃I hope you are enjoying this beautiful spring weather。
〃Yours； always full of gratitude and love；
〃E。〃
The woman read the letter： then she stood up and walked towards the
fire。 She did not re…read it； but stood with it open in her hand； looking
down into the blaze。 Her lips were drawn in at the corners。 Presently
she tore the letter up slowly； and watched the bits floating down one by
one into the grate。 Then she went back to her desk； and began to write；
with her mouth still drawn in at the corners。 After a while she laid her
arm on the paper and her head on her arm； and seemed to go to sleep there。
Presently the servant knocked； the boy was waiting。 〃Tell him to
wait ten minutes more。〃 She took up her pen〃The Policy of the
Australian Colonies in favour of Protection is easily understood〃 she
waited〃when one considers the factthe fact；〃 then she finished the
article。
Cape Town； South Africa； 1892。
22
