from this world to the next-第16章

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eternally　industrious　in　endeavoring　to　counterfeit　each　other。　

In　this　deceit　the　poor　man　is　more　heartily　in　earnest　to

deceive　you　than　the　rich；　who；　amidst　all　the　emblems　of　poverty

which　he　puts　on；　still　permits　some　mark　of　his　wealth　to　strike

the　eye。　　Thus；　while　his　apparel　is　not　worth　a　groat；　his

finger　wears　a　ring　of　value；　or　his　pocket　a　gold　watch。　　In　a

word；　he　seems　rather　to　affect　poverty　to　insult　than　impose　on

you。　　Now　the　poor　man；　on　the　contrary；　is　very　sincere　in　his

desire　of　passing　for　rich；　but　the　eagerness　of　this　desire

hurries　him　to　over…act　his　part；　and　he　betrays　himself　as　one

who　is　drunk　by　his　overacted　sobriety。　　Thus；　instead　of　being

attended　by　one　servant　well　mounted；　he　will　have　two；　and；　not

being　able　to　purchase　or　maintain　a　second　horse　of　value；　one

of　his　servants　at　least　is　mounted　on　a　hired　rascallion。　　He　is

not　contented　to　go　plain　and　neat　in　his　clothes；　he　therefore

claps　on　some　tawdry　ornament；　and　what　he　adds　to　the　fineness

of　his　vestment　he　detracts　from　the　fineness　of　his　linen。　

Without　descending　into　more　minute　particulars；　I　believe　I　may

assert　it　as　an　axiom　of　indubitable　truth；　that　whoever　shows

you　he　is　either　in　himself　or　his　equipage　as　gaudy　as　he　can；

convinces　you　he　is　more　so　than　he　can　afford。　　Now；　whenever　a

man's　expense　exceeds　his　income；　he　is　indifferent　in　the

degree；　we　had　therefore　nothing　more　to　do　with　such　than　to

flatter　them　with　their　wealth　and　splendor；　and　were　always

certain　of　success。



〃There　is；　indeed；　one　kind　of　rich　man　who　is　commonly　more

liberal；　namely；　where　riches　surprise　him；　as　it　were；　in　the

midst　of　poverty　and　distress；　the　consequence　of　which　is；　I

own；　sometimes　excessive　avarice；　but　oftener　extreme

prodigality。　　I　remember　one　of　these　who；　having　received　a

pretty　large　sum　of　money；　gave　me；　when　I　begged　an　obolus；　a

whole　talent；　on　which　his　friend　having　reproved　him；　he

answered；　with　an　oath；　'Why　not？　　Have　I　not　fifty　left？'



〃The　life　of　a　beggar；　if　men　estimated　things　by　their　real

essence；　and　not　by　their　outward　false　appearance；　would　be；

perhaps；　a　more　desirable　situation　than　any　of　those　which

ambition　persuades　us；　with　such　difficulty；　danger；　and　often

villainy；　to　aspire　to。　　The　wants　of　a　beggar　are　commonly　as

chimerical　as　the　abundance　of　a　nobleman；　for　besides　vanity；

which　a　judicious　beggar　will　always　apply　to　with　wonderful

efficacy；　there　are　in　reality　very　few　natures　so　hardened　as

not　to　compassionate　poverty　and　distress；　when　the　predominancy

of　some　other　passion　doth　not　prevent　them。



〃There　is　one　happiness　which　attends　money　got　with　ease；

namely；　that　it　is　never　hoarded；　otherwise；　as　we　have　frequent

opportunities　of　growing　rich；　that　canker　care　might　prey　upon

our　quiet；　as　it　doth　on　others；　but　our　money　stock　we　spend　as

fast　as　we　acquire　it；　usually　at　least；　for　I　speak　not　without

exception；　thus　it　gives　us　mirth　only；　and　no　trouble。　　Indeed；

the　luxury　of　our　lives　might　introduce　diseases；　did　not　our

daily　exercise　prevent　them。　　This　gives　us　an　appetite　and

relish　for　our　dainties；　and　at　the　same　time　an　antidote　against

the　evil　effects　which　sloth；　united　with　luxury；　induces　on　the

habit　of　a　human　body。　　Our　women　we　enjoy　with　ecstasies　at

least　equal　to　what　the　greatest　men　feel　in　their　embraces。　　I

can；　I　am　assured；　say　of　myself；　that　no　mortal　could　reap　more

perfect　happiness　from　the　tender　passion　than　my　fortune　had

decreed　me。　　I　married　a　charming　young　woman　for　love；　she　was

the　daughter　of　a　neighboring　beggar；　who；　with　an　improvidence

too　often　seen；　spent　a　very　large　income　which　he　procured　by

his　profession；　so　that　he　was　able　to　give　her　no　fortune　down；

however；　at　his　death　he　left　her　a　very　well　accustomed

begging…hut；　situated　on　the　side　of　a　steep　hill；　where

travelers　could　not　immediately　escape　from　us；　and　a　garden

adjoining；　being　the　twenty…eighth　part　of　an　acre；　well　planted。



She　made　the　best　of　wives；　bore　me　nineteen　children；　and　never

failed；　unless　on　her　lying…in；　which　generally　lasted　three

days；　to　get　my　supper　ready　against　my　return　home　in　an

evening；　this　being　my　favorite　meal；　and　at　which　I；　as　well　as

my　whole　family；　greatly　enjoyed　ourselves；　the　principal　subject

of　our　discourse　being　generally　the　boons　we　had　that　day

obtained；　on　which　occasions；　laughing　at　the　folly　of　the　donors

made　no　inconsiderable　part　of　the　entertainment；　for；　whatever

might　be　their　motive　for　giving；　we　constantly　imputed　our

success　to　our　having　flattered　their　vanity；　or　overreached

their　understanding。



〃But　perhaps　I　have　dwelt　too　long　on　this　character；　I　shall

conclude；　therefore；　with　telling　you　that　after　a　life　of　102

years'　continuance；　during　all　which　I　had　never　known　any

sickness　or　infirmity　but　that　which　old　age　necessarily　induced；

I　at　last；　without　the　least　pain；　went　out　like　the　snuff　of　a

candle。



〃Minos；　having　heard　my　history；　bid　me　compute；　if　I　could；　how

many　lies　I　had　told　in　my　life。　　As　we　are　here；　by　a　certain

fated　necessity；　obliged　to　confine　ourselves　to　truth；　I

answered；　I　believed　about　50；000；000。　　He　then　replied；　with　a

frown；　'Can　such　a　wretch　conceive　any　hopes　of　entering

Elysium？'　　I　immediately　turned　about；　and；　upon　the　whole；　was

rejoiced　at　his　not　calling　me　back。〃





CHAPTER　XX



Julian　performs　the　part　of　a　statesman。



〃It　was　now　my　fortune　to　be　born　of　a　German　princess；　but　a

man…midwife；　pulling　my　head　off　in　delivering　my　mother；　put　a

speedy　end　to　my　princely　life。



〃Spirits　who　end　their　lives　before　they　are　at　the　age　of　five

years　are　immediately　ordered　into　other　bodies；　and　it　was　now

my　fortune　to　perform　several　infancies　before　I　could　again

entitle　myself　to　an　examination　of　Minos。



〃At　length　I　was　destined　once　more　to　play　a　considerable　part

on　the　stage。　　I　was　born　in　England；　in　the　reign　of　Ethelred

II。　　My　father's　name　was　Ulnoth：　　he　was　earl　or　thane　of

Sussex。　　I　was　afterwards　known　by　the　name　of　earl　Goodwin；　and

began　to　make　a　considerable　figure　in　the　world　in　the　time　of

Harold　Harefoot；　whom　I　procured　to　be　made　king　of　Wessex；　or

the　West　Saxons；　in　prejudice　of　Hardicanute；　whose　mother　Emma

endeavored　afterwards　to　set　another　of　her　sons　on　the　throne；

but　I　circumvented　her；　and；　communicating　her　design　to　the

king；　at　the　same　time　acquainted　him　with　a　project　which　I　had

formed　for　the　murder　of　these　two　young　princes。　　Emma　had　sent

for　these　her　sons　from　Normandy；　with　the　king's　leave；　whom　she

had　deceived　by　her　religious　behavior；　and　pretended　neglect　of

all　worldly　affairs；　but　I　prevailed　with　Harold　to　invite　these

princes　to　his　court；　and　put　them　to　death。　　The　prudent　mother

sent　only　Alfred；　retaining　Edward　to　herself；　as　she　suspected

my　ill　designs；　and　thought　I　should　not　venture　to　execute　them

on　one　of　her　sons；　while　she　secured　the　other；　but　she　was

deceived；　for　I　had　no　sooner　Alfred　in　my　possession　than　I

caused　him　to　be　conducted　to　Ely；　where　I　ordered　his　eyes　to　be

put　out；　and　afterwards　to　be　confined　in　a　monastery。



〃This　was　one　of　those　cruel　expedients　which　great　men　satisfy

themselves　well　in　executing；　by　concluding　them　to　be　necessary

to　the　service　of　their　prince；　who　is　the　support　of　their

ambition。　　



〃Edward；　the　other　son　of　Emma；　escaped　again　to　Normandy；

whence；　after　the　death　of　Harold　and　Hardicanute；　he　made　no

scruple　of　applying　to　my　protection　and　favor；　though　he　had

before　prosecuted　me　with　all　the　vengeance　he　was　able；　for

the　murder　of　his　brother；　but　in　all　great　affairs　private

relation　must　yield　to　public　interest。　　Having　therefore

concluded　very　advantageous　terms　for　myself　with　him；　I　made　no

scruple　of　patronizing　his　cause；　and　soon　placed　him　on　the

throne。　　Nor　did　I　conceive　the　least　apprehension　from　his

resentment；　as　I　knew　my　power　was　too　great　for　him　to

encounter。　　



〃Among　other　stipulated　conditions；　one　was　to　marry　my　daughter

Editha。　　This　Edward　consented　to　with　great　reluctance；　and　I

had　afterwards　no　reason　to　be　pleased　with　it；　for　it　raised

her；　who　had　been　my　favorite　child；　to　such　an　opinion　of

greatness；　that；　instead　of　paying　me　the　usual　respect；　she

frequently　threw　in　my　teeth　（as　often　at　least　as　I　gave　her　any

admonition）；　that　she　was　now　a　queen；　and　that　the　character　and

title　of　father　merged　in　that　of　subject。　　This　behavior；

however；　did　not　cure　me　of　my　affection　towards　her；　nor　lessen

the　uneasiness　which　I　afterwards　bore　on　Edward's　dismissing　her

from　his　bed。



〃One　thing　which　principally　induced　me　to　labor　the　promotion　of

Edward　was　the　simplicity　or　weakness　of　that　prince；　under　whom

I　promised　myself　absolute　dominion　under　another　name。　　Nor　did

this　opinion　deceive　me；　for；　during　his　whole　reign；　my

administration　was　in　the　highest　degree　despotic：　　I　had

everything　of　royalty　but　the　outward　ensigns；　no　man　ever

applying　for　a　place；　or　any　kind　of　preferment；　but　to　me　only。　

A　circumstance　which；　as　it　greatly　enriched　my　coffers；　so　it　no

less　pampered　my　ambition；　and　satisfied　my　vanity　with　a

numerous　attendance；　and　I　had　the　pleasure　of　seeing　those　who

only　bowed　to　the　king　prostrating　themselves　before　me。



〃Edward　the　Confessor；　or　St。　Edward；　as　some　have　called　him；

in　derision　I　suppose；　being　a　very　silly　fellow；　had　all　the

faults　incident；　and　almost　inseparable；　to　fools。　　He　married　my

daughter　Editha　from　his　fear　of　disobliging　me；　and　afterwards；

out　of　hatred　to　me；　refused　even　to　consummate　his　marriage；

though　she　was　one　of　the　most　beautiful　women　of　her　age。　　He

was　likewise　guilty　of　the　basest　ingratitude　to　his　mother　（a

vice　to　which　fools　are　chiefly；　if　not　only；　liable）；　and；　in

return　for　her　endeavors　to　procure　him　a　throne　in　his　youth；

confined　her　in　a　loathsome　prison　in　her　old　age。　　This；　it　is

true；　he　did　by　my　advice；　but　as　to　her　walking　over　nine

plowshares　red…hot；　and　giving　nine　manors；　when　she　had　not　one

in　her　possession；　there　is　not　a　syllable　of　veracity　in　it。



〃The　first　great　perplexity　I　fell　into　was　on　the　account　of　my

son　Swane；　who　had　deflowered　the　abbess　of　Leon；　since　called

Leominster；　in　Herefordshire。　　After　this　fact　he　retired　into

Denmark；　whence　he　sent　to　me　to　obtain　his　pardon。　　The　king　at

first　refused　it；　being　moved　thereto；　as　I　afterwards　found；　by

some　churchmen；　particularly　by　one　of　his　chaplains；　whom　I　had

prevented　from　obtaining　a　bishopric。　　Upon　this　my　son　Swane

invaded　the　coasts　with　several　ships；　and　committed　many

outrageous　cruelties；　which；　indeed；　did　his　business；　as　they

served　me　to　apply　to　the　fear　of　this　king；　which　I　had　lon