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It　now　came　to　our　company's　turn。　　The　fair　spirit　which　I

mentioned　with　so　much　applause　in　the　beginning　of　my　journey

passed　through　very　easily；　but　the　grave　lady　was　rejected　on

her　first　appearance；　Minos　declaring　there　was　not　a　single

prude　in　Elysium。



The　judge　then　addressed　himself　to　me；　who　little　expected　to

pass　this　fiery　trial。　　I　confessed　I　had　indulged　myself　very

freely　with　wine　and　women　in　my　youth；　but　had　never　done　an

injury　to　any　man　living；　nor　avoided　an　opportunity　of　doing

good；　that　I　pretended　to　very　little　virtue　more　than　general

philanthrophy　and　private　friendship。　　I　was　proceeding；　when

Minos　bade　me　enter　the　gate；　and　not　indulge　myself　with

trumpeting　forth　my　virtues。　　I　accordingly　passed　forward　with

my　lovely　companion；　and；　embracing　her　with　vast　eagerness；　but

spiritual　innocence；　she　returned　my　embrace　in　the　same　manner；

and　we　both　congratulated　ourselves　on　our　arrival　in　this　happy

region；　whose　beauty　no　painting　of　the　imagination　can　describe。





CHAPTER　VIII



The　adventures　which　the　author　met　on　his　first　entrance　into

Elysium。



We　pursued　our　way　through　a　delicious　grove　of　orange…trees；

where　I　saw　infinite　numbers　of　spirits；　every　one　of　whom　I

knew；　and　was　known　by　them　（for　spirits　here　know　one　another　by

intuition）。　　I　presently　met　a　little　daughter　whom　I　had　lost

several　years　before。　　Good　gods！　what　words　can　describe　the

raptures；　the　melting　passionate　tenderness；　with　which　we　kissed

each　other；　continuing　in　our　embrace；　with　the　most　ecstatic

joy；　a　space　which；　if　time　had　been　measured　here　as　on　earth；

could　not　be　less　than　half　a　year。



The　first　spirit　with　whom　I　entered　into　discourse　was　the

famous　Leonidas　of　Sparta。　　I　acquainted　him　with　the　honors

which　had　been　done　him　by　a　celebrated　poet　of　our　nation；　to

which　he　answered　he　was　very　much　obliged　to　him。　　We　were

presently　afterwards　entertained　with　the　most　delicious　voice　I

had　ever　heard；　accompanied　by　a　violin；　equal　to　Signior

Piantinida。　　I　presently　discovered　the　musician　and　songster　to

be　Orpheus　and　Sappho。



Old　Homer　was　present　at　this　concert　（if　I　may　so　call　it）；　and

Madam　Dacier　sat　in　his　lap。　　He　asked　much　after　Mr。　Pope；　and

said　he　was　very　desirous　of　seeing　him；　for　that　he　had　read　his

Iliad　in　his　translation　with　almost　as　much　delight　as　he

believed　he　had　given　others　in　the　original。　　I　had　the

curiosity　to　inquire　whether　he　had　really　writ　that　poem　in

detached　pieces；　and　sung　it　about　as　ballads　all　over　Greece；

according　to　the　report　which　went　of　him。　　He　smiled　at　my

question；　and　asked　me　whether　there　appeared　any　connection　in

the　poem；　for　if　there　did　he　thought　I　might　answer　myself。　　I

then　importuned　him　to　acquaint　me　in　which　of　the　cities　which

contended　for　the　honor　of　his　birth　he　was　really　born？　　To

which　he　answered；　〃Upon　my　soul　I　can't　tell。〃



Virgil　then　came　up　to　me；　with　Mr。　Addison　under　his　arm。　

〃Well；　sir；〃　said　he；　〃how　many　translations　have　these　few　last

years　produced　of　my　Aeneid？〃　　I　told　him　I　believed　several；　but

I　could　not　possibly　remember；　for　that　I　had　never　read　any　but

Dr。　Trapp's。　　〃Ay；〃　said　he；　〃that　is　a　curious　piece　indeed！〃　　I

then　acquainted　him　with　the　discovery　made　by　Mr。　Warburton　of

the　Elusinian　mysteries　couched　in　his　sixth　book。　　〃What

mysteries？〃　said　Mr。　Addison。　　〃The　Elusinian；〃　answered　Virgil；

〃which　I　have　disclosed　in　my　sixth　book。〃　　〃How！〃　replied

Addison。　　〃You　never　mentioned　a　word　of　any　such　mysteries　to　me

in　all　our　acquaintance。〃　　〃I　thought　it　was　unnecessary；〃　cried

the　other；　〃to　a　man　of　your　infinite　learning：　　besides；　you

always　told　me　you　perfectly　understood　my　meaning。〃　　Upon　this　I

thought　the　critic　looked　a　little　out　of　countenance；　and　turned

aside　to　a　very　merry　spirit；　one　Dick　Steele；　who　embraced　him；

and　told　him　he　had　been　the　greatest　man　upon　earth；　that　he

readily　resigned　up　all　the　merit　of　his　own　works　to　him。　　Upon

which　Addison　gave　him　a　gracious　smile；　and；　clapping　him　on　the

back　with　much　solemnity；　cried　out；　〃Well　said；　Dick！〃



I　then　observed　Shakespeare　standing　between　Betterton　and　Booth；

and　deciding　a　difference　between　those　two　great　actors

concerning　the　placing　an　accent　in　one　of　his　lines：　　this　was

disputed　on　both　sides　with　a　warmth　which　surprised　me　in

Elysium；　till　I　discovered　by　intuition　that　every　soul　retained

its　principal　characteristic；　being；　indeed；　its　very　essence。　

The　line　was　that　celebrated　one　in　Othello

PUT　OUT　THE　LIGHT；　AND　THEN　PUT　OUT　THE　LIGHT。　　according　to

Betterton。　　Mr。　Booth　contended　to　have　it　thus：

Put　out　the　light；　and　then　put　out　THE　light。　　I　could　not　help

offering　my　conjecture　on　this　occasion；　and　suggested　it　might

perhaps　be

Put　out　the　light；　and　then　put　out　THY　light。　　Another　hinted　a

reading　very　sophisticated　in　my　opinion

　　　　　Put　out　the　light；　and　then　put　out　THEE；　light；　making

light　to　be　the　vocative　case。　　Another　would　have　altered　the

last　word；　and　read

　　　　　PUT　OUT　THY　LIGHT；　AND　THEN　PUT　OUT　THY　SIGHT。　　But

Betterton　said；　if　the　text　was　to　be　disturbed；　he　saw　no　reason

why　a　word　might　not　be　changed　as　well　as　a　letter；　and；　instead

of　〃put　out　thy　light；〃　you　may　read　〃put　out　thy　eyes。〃　　At　last

it　was　agreed　on　all　sides　to　refer　the　matter　to　the　decision　of

Shakespeare　himself；　who　delivered　his　sentiments　as　follows：

〃Faith；　gentlemen；　it　is　so　long　since　I　wrote　the　line；　I　have

forgot　my　meaning。　　This　I　know；　could　I　have　dreamed　so　much

nonsense　would　have　been　talked　and　writ　about　it；　I　would　have

blotted　it　out　of　my　works；　for　I　am　sure；　if　any　of　these　be　my

meaning；　it　doth　me　very　little　honor。〃



He　was　then　interrogated　concerning　some　other　ambiguous　passages

in　his　works；　but　he　declined　any　satisfactory　answer；　saying；　if

Mr。　Theobald　had　not　writ　about　it　sufficiently；　there　were　three

or　four　more　new　editions　of　his　plays　coming　out；　which　he　hoped

would　satisfy　every　one：　　concluding；　〃I　marvel　nothing　so　much

as　that　men　will　gird　themselves　at　discovering　obscure　beauties

in　an　author。　　Certes　the　greatest　and　most　pregnant　beauties　are

ever　the　plainest　and　most　evidently　striking；　and　when　two

meanings　of　a　passage　can　in　the　least　balance　our　judgments

which　to　prefer；　I　hold　it　matter　of　unquestionable　certainty

that　neither　of　them　is　worth　a　farthing。〃　　From　his　works　our

conversation　turned　on　his　monument；　upon　which；　Shakespeare；

shaking　his　sides；　and　addressing　himself　to　Milton；　cried　out；

〃On　my　word；　brother　Milton；　they　have　brought　a　noble　set　of

poets　together；　they　would　have　been　hanged　erst　have　＇ere　they

had＇　convened　such　a　company　at　their　tables　when　alive。〃　　〃True；

brother；〃　answered　Milton；　〃unless　we　had　been　as　incapable　of

eating　then　as　we　are　now。〃





CHAPTER　IX



More　adventures　in　Elysium。



A　crowd　of　spirits　now　joined　us；　whom　I　soon　perceived　to　be　the

heroes；　who　here　frequently　pay　their　respects　to　the　several

bards　the　recorders　of　their　actions。　　I　now　saw　Achilles　and

Ulysses　addressing　themselves　to　Homer；　and　Aeneas　and　Julius

Caesar　to　Virgil：　　Adam　went　up　to　Milton；　upon　which　I　whispered

Mr。　Dryden　that　I　thought　the　devil　should　have　paid　his

compliments　there；　according　to　his　opinion。　　Dryden　only

answered；　〃I　believe　the　devil　was　in　me　when　I　said　so。〃　

Several　applied　themselves　to　Shakespeare；　amongst　whom　Henry　V

made　a　very　distinguishing　appearance。　　While　my　eyes　were　fixed

on　that　monarch　a　very　small　spirit　came　up　to　me；　shook　me

heartily　by　the　hand；　and　told　me　his　name　was　THOMAS　THUMB。　　I

expressed　great　satisfaction　in　seeing　him；　nor　could　I　help

speaking　my　resentment　against　the　historian；　who　had　done　such

injustice　to　the　stature　of　this　great　little　man；　which　he

represented　to　be　no　bigger　than　a　span；　whereas　I　plainly

perceived　at　first　sight　he　was　full　a　foot　and　a　half　（and　the

37th　part　of　an　inch　more；　as　he　himself　informed　me）；　being

indeed　little　shorter　than　some　considerable　beaux　of　the　present

age。　　I　asked　this　little　hero　concerning　the　truth　of　those

stories　related　of　him；　viz。；　of　the　pudding；　and　the　cow's

belly。　　As　to　the　former；　he　said　it　was　a　ridiculous　legend；

worthy　to　be　laughed　at；　but　as　to　the　latter；　he　could　not　help

owning　there　was　some　truth　in　it：　　nor　had　he　any　reason　to　be　

ashamed　of　it；　as　he　was　swallowed　by　surprise；　adding；　with

great　fierceness；　that　if　he　had　had　any　weapon　in　his　hand　the

cow　should　have　as　soon　swallowed　the　devil。



He　spoke　the　last　word　with　so　much　fury；　and　seemed　so

confounded；　that；　perceiving　the　effect　it　had　on　him；　I

immediately　waived　the　story；　and；　passing　to　other　matters；　we

had　much　conversation　touching　giants。　　He　said；　so　far　from

killing　any；　he　had　never　seen　one　alive；　that　he　believed　those

actions　were　by　mistake　recorded　of　him；　instead　of　Jack　the

giant…killer；　whom　he　knew　very　well；　and　who　had；　he　fancied；

extirpated　the　race。　　I　assured　him　to　the　contrary；　and　told　him

I　had　myself　seen　a　huge　tame　giant；　who　very　complacently　stayed

in　London　a　whole　winter；　at　the　special　request　of　several

gentlemen　and　ladies；　though　the　affairs　of　his　family　called　him

home　to　Sweden。



I　now　beheld　a　stern…looking　spirit　leaning　on　the　shoulder　of

another　spirit；　and　presently　discerned　the　former　to　be　Oliver

Cromwell；　and　the　latter　Charles　Martel。　　I　own　I　was　a　little

surprised　at　seeing　Cromwell　here；　for　I　had　been　taught　by　my

grandmother　that　he　was　carried　away　by　the　devil　himself　in　a

tempest；　but　he　assured　me；　on　his　honor；　there　was　not　the　least

truth　in　that　story。　　However；　he　confessed　he　had　narrowly

escaped　the　bottomless　pit；　and；　if　the　former　part　of　his

conduct　had　not　been　more　to　his　honor　than　the　latter；　he　had

been　certainly　soused　into　it。　　He　was；　nevertheless；　sent　back

to　the　upper　world　with　this　lot：ARMY；　CAVALIER；　DISTRESS。



He　was　born；　for　the　second　time；　the　day　of　Charles　II's

restoration；　into　a　family　which　had　lost　a　very　considerable

fortune　in　the　service　of　that　prince　and　his　father；　for　which

they　received　the　reward　very　often　conferred　by　princes　on　real

merit；　viz。000。　　At　16　his　father　bought　a　small　commission　for

him　in　the　army；　in　which　he　served　without　any　promotion　all　the

reigns　of　Charles　II　and　of　his　brother。　　At　the　Revolution　he

quitted　his　regiment；　and　followed　the　fortunes　of　his　former

master；　and　was　in　his　service　dangerously　wounded　at　the　famous

battle　of　the　Boyne；　where　he　fought　in　the　capacity　of　a　private

soldier。　　He　recovered　of　this　wound；　and　retired　after　the

unfortunate　king　to　Paris；　where　he　was　reduced　to　support　a　wife

and　seven　children　（for　his　lot　had　horns　in　it）　by　cleaning

shoes　and　snuffing