under western eyes-第3章

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met　from　time　to　time　at　gatherings　in　other　students'　houses。

They　had　even　had　a　discussion　togetherone　of　those　discussions

on　first　principles　dear　to　the　sanguine　minds　of　youth。



Razumov　wished　the　man　had　chosen　some　other　time　to　come　for　a

chat。　　He　felt　in　good　trim　to　tackle　the　prize　essay。　　But　as

Haldin　could　not　be　slightingly　dismissed　Razumov　adopted　the

tone　of　hospitality；　asking　him　to　sit　down　and　smoke。



〃Kirylo　Sidorovitch；〃　said　the　other；　flinging　off　his　cap；　〃we

are　not　perhaps　in　exactly　the　same　camp。　　Your　judgment　is　more

philosophical。　　You　are　a　man　of　few　words；　but　I　haven't　met

anybody　who　dared　to　doubt　the　generosity　of　your　sentiments。

There　is　a　solidity　about　your　character　which　cannot　exist

without　courage。



Razumov　felt　flattered　and　began　to　murmur　shyly　something　about

being　very　glad　of　his　good　opinion；　when　Haldin　raised　his　hand。



〃That　is　what　I　was　saying　to　myself；〃　he　continued；　〃as　I　dodged

in　the　woodyard　down　by　the　river…side。　　'He　has　a　strong

character　this　young　man；'　I　said　to　myself。　　'He　does　not　throw

his　soul　to　the　winds。'　　Your　reserve　has　always　fascinated　me；

Kirylo　Siderovitch。　　So　I　tried　to　remember　your　address。　　But

look　hereit　was　a　piece　of　luck。　　Your　dvornik　was　away　from

the　gate　talking　to　a　sleigh…driver　on　the　other　side　of　the

street。　　I　met　no　one　on　the　stairs；　not　a　soul。　　As　I　came　up

to　your　floor　I　caught　sight　of　your　landlady　coming　out　of　your

rooms。　　But　she　did　not　see　me。　　She　crossed　the　landing　to　her

own　side；　and　then　I　slipped　in。　　I　have　been　here　two　hours

expecting　you　to　come　in　every　moment。



Razumov　had　listened　in　astonishment；　but　before　he　could

open　his　mouth　Haldin　added；　speaking　deliberately；〃　　It　was　I

who　removed　de　P…　this　morning。〃　Razumov　kept　down　a　cry　of

dismay。　　The　sentiment　of　his　life　being　utterly　ruined　by　this

contact　with　such　a　crime　expressed　itself　quaintly　by　a　sort　of

half…derisive　mental　exclamation；　　〃There　goes　my　silver　medal！〃



Haldin　continued　after　waiting　a　while



〃You　say　nothing；　Kirylo　Sidorovitch！　　I　understand　your　silence。

To　be　sure；　I　cannot　expect　you　with　your　frigid　English　manner

to　embrace　me。　　But　never　mind　your　manners。　　You　have　enough

heart　to　have　heard　the　sound　of　weeping　and　gnashing　of　teeth

this　man　raised　in　the　land。　　That　would　be　enough　to　get　over

any　philosophical　hopes。　　He　was　uprooting　the　tender　plant。　　He

had　to　be　stopped。　　He　was　a　dangerous　mana　convinced　man。

Three　more　years　of　his　work　would　have　put　us　back　fifty　years

into　bondageand　look　at　all　the　lives　wasted；　at　all　the　souls

lost　in　that　time。〃



His　curt；　self…confident　voice　suddenly　lost　its　ring　and　it　was

in　a　dull　tone　that　he　added；　〃Yes；　brother；　I　have　killed　him。

It's　weary　work。〃



Razumov　had　sunk　into　a　chair。　　Every　moment　he　expected　a　crowd

of　policemen　to　rush　in。　　There　must　have　been　thousands　of　them

out　looking　for　that　man　walking　up　and　down　in　his　room。　　Haldin

was　talking　again　in　a　restrained；　steady　voice。　　Now　and　then　he

flourished　an　arm；　slowly；　without　excitement。



He　told　Razumov　how　he　had　brooded　for　a　year；　how　he　had　not

slept　properly　for　weeks。　He　and　〃Another〃　had　a　warning　of　the

Minister's　movements　from　〃a　certain　person〃　late　the　evening

before。　　He　and　　that　Another〃　prepared　their　〃engines〃　and

〃resolved　to　have　no　sleep　till　〃the　deed〃　was　done。　They

walked　the　streets　under　the　falling　snow　with　the　〃engines〃

on　them；　exchanging　not　a　word　the　livelong　night。　　When　they

happened　to　meet　a　police　patrol　they　took　each　other　by　the

arm　and　pretended　to　be　a　couple　of　peasants　on　the　spree。

They　reeled　and　talked　in　drunken　hoarse　voices。　　Except　for

these　strange　outbreaks　they　kept　silence；　moving　on　ceaselessly。

Their　plans　had　been　previously　arranged。　　At　daybreak　they　made

their　way　to　the　spot　which　they　knew　the　sledge　must　pass。

When　it　appeared　in　sight　they　exchanged　a　muttered　good…bye

and　separated。　　The　〃other〃　remained　at　the　corner；　Haldin

took　up　a　position　a　little　farther　up　the　street。　。　。　。



After　throwing　his　〃engine〃　he　ran　off　and　in　a　moment　was

overtaken　by　the　panic…struck　people　flying　away　from　the　spot

after　the　second　explosion。　　They　were　wild　with　terror。　　He　was

jostled　once　or　twice。　He　slowed　down　for　the　rush　to　pass　him　and

then　turned　to　the　left　into　a　narrow　street。　　There　he　was　alone。



He　marvelled　at　this　immediate　escape。　　The　work　was　done。　　He

could　hardly　believe　it。　　He　fought　with　an　almost　irresistible

longing　to　lie　down　on　the　pavement　and　sleep。　　But　this　sort　of

faintnessa　drowsy　faintnesspassed　off　quickly。　　He　walked

faster；　making　his　way　to　one　of　the　poorer　parts　of　the　town　in

order　to　look　up　Ziemianitch。



This　Ziemianitch；　Razumov　understood；　was　a　sort　of　town…peasant

who　had　got　on；　owner　of　a　small　number　of　sledges　and　horses　for

hire。　　Haldin　paused　in　his　narrative　to　exclaim



〃A　bright　spirit　！　A　hardy　soul！　The　best　driver　in　St。　Petersburg。

He　has　a　team　of　three　horses　there。　。　。　。　　Ah！　　He's　a　fellow！〃



This　man　had　declared　himself　willing　to　take　out　safely；　at

any　time；　one　or　two　persons　to　the　second　or　third　railway

station　on　one　of　the　southern　lines。　　But　there　had　been　no　time

to　warn　him　the　night　before。　His　usual　haunt　seemed　to　be　a

low…class　eating…house　on　the　outskirts　of　the　town。　　When　Haldin

got　there　the　man　was　not　to　be　found。　　He　was　not　expected　to

turn　up　again　till　the　evening。　　Haldin　wandered　away　restlessly。



He　saw　the　gate　of　a　woodyard　open　and　went　in　to　get　out　of　the

wind　which　swept　the　bleak　broad　thoroughfare。　　The　great

rectangular　piles　of　cut　wood　loaded　with　snow　resembled　the　huts

of　a　village。　　At　first　the　watchman　who　discovered　him　crouching

amongst　them　talked　in　a　friendly　manner。　　He　was　a　dried…up　old

man　wearing　two　ragged　army　coats　one　over　the　other；　his　wizened

little　face；　tied　up　under　the　jaw　and　over　the　ears　in　a　dirty

red　handkerchief；　looked　comical。　Presently　he　grew　sulky；　and

then　all　at　once　without　rhyme　or　reason　began　to　shout　furiously。



〃Aren't　you　ever　going　to　clear　out　of　this；　you　loafer？　　We　know

all　about　factory　hands　of　your　sort。　　A　big；　strong；　young　chap！

You　aren't　even　drunk。　　What　do　you　want　here？　　You　don't　frighten　us。

Take　yourself　and　your　ugly　eyes　away。〃



Haldin　stopped　before　the　sitting　Razumov。　　His　supple　figure；

with　the　white　forehead　above　which　the　fair　hair　stood　straight

up；　had　an　aspect　of　lofty　daring。



〃He　did　not　like　my　eyes；〃　he　said。　〃And　so。　。　。here　I　am。〃



Razumov　made　an　effort　to　speak　calmly。



〃But　pardon　me；　Victor　Victorovitch。　　We　know　each　other　so

little。　。　。　。　　I　don't　see　why　you　。　。　。〃



〃Confidence；〃　said　Haldin。



This　word　sealed　Razumov's　lips　as　if　a　hand　had　been　clapped

on　his　mouth。　　His　brain　seethed　with　arguments



〃And　sohere　you　are；〃　he　muttered　through　his　teeth。



The　other　did　not　detect　the　tone　of　anger。　　Never　suspected　it。



〃Yes。　　And　nobody　knows　I　am　here。　　You　are　the　last　person　that

could　be　suspectedshould　I　get　caught。　　That's　an　advantage；

you　see。　　And　thenspeaking　to　a　superior　mind　like　yours　I　can

well　say　all　the　truth。　　It　occurred　to　me　that　youyou　have　no

one　belonging　to　youno　ties；　no　one　to　suffer　for　it　if　this

came　out　by　some　means。　　There　have　been　enough　ruined　Russian

homes　as　it　is。　　But　I　don't　see　how　my　passage　through　your

rooms　can　be　ever　known。　　If　I　should　be　got　hold　of；　I'll　know

how　to　keep　silentno　matter　what　they　may　be　pleased　to　do　to　me；〃

he　added　grimly。



He　began　to　walk　again　while　Razumov　sat　still　appalled。



〃You　thought　that〃　he　faltered　out　almost　sick　with　indignation。



〃Yes；　Razumov。　　Yes；　brother。　　Some　day　you　shall　help　to　build。

You　suppose　that　I　am　a　terrorist；　now　a　destructor　of　what　is；

But　consider　that　the　true　destroyers　are　they　who　destroy　the

spirit　of　progress　and　truth；　not　the　avengers　who　merely　kill

the　bodies　of　the　persecutors　of　human　dignity。　　Men　like　me　are

necessary　to　make　room　for　self…contained；　thinking　men　like　you。

Well；　we　have　made　the　sacrifice　of　our　lives；　but　all　the　same　I

want　to　escape　if　it　can　be　done。　　It　is　not　my　life　I　want　to

save；　but　my　power　to　do。　　I　won't　live　idle。　　Oh　no！　　Don't　make

any　mistake；　Razumov。　　Men　like　me　are　rare。　　And；　besides；　an

example　like　this　is　more　awful　to　oppressors　when　the

perpetrator　vanishes　without　a　trace。　　They　sit　in　their　offices

and　palaces　and　quake。　　All　I　want　you　to　do　is　to　help　me　to

vanish。　No　great　matter　that。　　Only　to　go　by　and　by　and　see

Ziemianitch　for　me　at　that　place　where　I　went　this　morning。

Just　tell　him；　'He　whom　you　know　wants　a　well…horsed　sledge

to　pull　up　half　an　hour　after　midnight　at　the　seventh

lamp…post　on　the　left　counting　from　the　upper　end　of

Karabelnaya。　　If　nobody　gets　in；　the　sledge　is　to　run

round　a　block　or　two；　so　as　to　come　back　past　the

same　spot　in　ten　minutes'　time。'〃



Razumov　wondered　why　he　had　not　cut　short　that　talk　and　told　this

man　to　go　away　long　before。　　Was　it　weakness　or　what？



He　concluded　that　it　was　a　sound　instinct。　　Haldin　must　have　been

seen。　　It　was　impossible　that　some　people　should　not　have　noticed

the　face　and　appearance　of　the　man　who　threw　the　second　bomb。

Haldin　was　a　noticeable　person。　　The　police　in　their　thousands

must　have　had　his　description　within　the　hour。　　With　every　moment

the　danger　grew。　　Sent　out　to　wander　in　the　streets　he　could　not

escape　being　caught　in　the　end。



The　police　would　very　soon　find　out　all　about　him。　They　would　set

about　discovering　a　conspiracy。　　Everybody　Haldin　had　ever　known

would　be　in　the　greatest　danger。　　Unguarded　expressions；　little

facts　in　themselves　innocent　would　be　counted　for　crimes。

Razumov　remembered　certain　words　he　said；　the　speeches　he　had

listened　to；　the　harmless　gatherings　he　had　attendedit　was

almost　impossible　for　a　student　to　keep　out　of　that　sort　of

thing；　without　becoming　suspect　to　his　comrades。



Razumov　saw　himself　shut　up　in　a　fortress；　worried；　badgered；

perhaps　ill…used。　　He　saw　himself　deported　by　an　administrative

order；　his　life　broken；　ruined；　and　robbed　of　all　hope。　　He　saw

himselfat　bestleading　a　miserable　existence　under　police

supervision；　in　some　small；　faraway　provincial　town；　without

friends　to　assist　his　necessities　or　even　take　any　steps　to

alleviate　his　lotas　others　had。　　Others　had　fathers；　mothers；

brothers；　relations；　connexions；　to　move　heaven　and　earth　on

their　behalf　he　had　no　one。　The　very　officials　that　sentenced

him　some　morning　would　forget　his　existence　before　sunset。



He　saw　his　youth　pass　away　from　him　in　misery　and　half

starvationhis　strength　give　way；　his　mind　become　an　abject

thing。　　He　saw　himself　creeping；　broken　down　and　shabby；　about