dead souls(死魂灵)-第49章

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nvoluntarily　there　would　burst　from　his　soul　an　expression　of　aching；　voiceless　regret　that　he　himself　had　done　so　little。　And　at　these　times　his　existence　would　seem　to　him　odious　and　repellent；　at　these　times　there　would　uprise　before　him　the　memory　of　his　school　days；　and　the　figure　of　Alexander　Petrovitch；　as　vivid　as　in　life。　And；　slowly　welling；　the　tears　would　course　over　Tientietnikov's　cheeks。

What　meant　these　repinings？　Was　there　not　disclosed　in　them　the　secret　of　his　galling　spiritual　painthe　fact　that　he　had　failed　to　order　his　life　aright；　to　confirm　the　lofty　aims　with　which　he　had　started　his　course；　the　fact　that；　always　poorly　equipped　with　experience；　he　had　failed　to　attain　the　better　and　the　higher　state；　and　there　to　strengthen　himself　for　the　overcoming　of　hindrances　and　obstacles；　the　fact　that；　dissolving　like　overheated　metal；　his　bounteous　store　of　superior　instincts　had　failed　to　take　the　final　tempering；　the　fact　that　the　tutor　of　his　boyhood；　a　man　in　a　thousand；　had　prematurely　died；　and　left　to　Tientietnikov　no　one　who　could　restore　to　him　the　moral　strength　shattered　by　vacillation　and　the　will　power　weakened　by　want　of　virilityno　one；　in　short；　who　could　cry　hearteningly　to　his　soul　〃Forward！〃the　word　for　which　the　Russian　of　every　degree；　of　every　class；　of　every　occupation；　of　every　school　of　thought；　is　for　ever　hungering。

Indeed；　WHERE　is　the　man　who　can　cry　aloud　for　any　of　us；　in　the　Russian　tongue　dear　to　our　soul；　the　all…compelling　command　〃Forward！〃？　Who　is　there　who；　knowing　the　strength　and　the　nature　and　the　inmost　depths　of　the　Russian　genius；　can　by　a　single　magic　incantation　divert　our　ideals　to　the　higher　life？　Were　there　such　a　man；　with　what　tears；　with　what　affection；　would　not　the　grateful　sons　of　Russia　repay　him！　Yet　age　succeeds　to　age；　and　our　callow　youth　still　lies　wrapped　in　shameful　sloth；　or　strives　and　struggles　to　no　purpose。　God　has　not　yet　given　us　the　man　able　to　sound　the　call。

One　circumstance　which　almost　aroused　Tientietnikov；　which　almost　brought　about　a　revolution　in　his　character；　was　the　fact　that　he　came　very　near　to　falling　in　love。　Yet　even　this　resulted　in　nothing。　Ten　versts　away　there　lived　the　general　whom　we　have　heard　expressing　himself　in　highly　uncomplimentary　terms　concerning　Tientietnikov。　He　maintained　a　General…like　establishment；　dispensed　hospitality　（that　is　to　say；　was　glad　when　his　neighbours　came　to　pay　him　their　respects；　though　he　himself　never　went　out）；　spoke　always　in　a　hoarse　voice；　read　a　certain　number　of　books；　and　had　a　daughtera　curious；　unfamiliar　type；　but　full　of　life　as　life　itself。　This　maiden's　name　was　Ulinka；　and　she　had　been　strangely　brought　up；　for；　losing　her　mother　in　early　childhood；　she　had　subsequently　received　instruction　at　the　hands　of　an　English　governess　who　knew　not　a　single　word　of　Russian。　Moreover　her　father；　though　excessively　fond　of　her；　treated　her　always　as　a　toy；　with　the　result　that；　as　she　grew　to　years　of　discretion；　she　became　wholly　wayward　and　spoilt。　Indeed；　had　any　one　seen　the　sudden　rage　which　would　gather　on　her　beautiful　young　forehead　when　she　was　engaged　in　a　heated　dispute　with　her　father；　he　would　have　thought　her　one　of　the　most　capricious　beings　in　the　world。　Yet　that　rage　gathered　only　when　she　had　heard　of　injustice　or　harsh　treatment；　and　never　because　she　desired　to　argue　on　her　own　behalf；　or　to　attempt　to　justify　her　own　conduct。　Also；　that　anger　would　disappear　as　soon　as　ever　she　saw　any　one　whom　she　had　formerly　disliked　fall　upon　evil　times；　and；　at　his　first　request　for　alms　would；　without　consideration　or　subsequent　regret；　hand　him　her　purse　and　its　whole　contents。　Yes；　her　every　act　was　strenuous；　and　when　she　spoke　her　whole　personality　seemed　to　be　following　hot…foot　upon　her　thoughtboth　her　expression　of　face　and　her　diction　and　the　movements　of　her　hands。　Nay；　the　very　folds　of　her　frock　had　a　similar　appearance　of　striving；　until　one　would　have　thought　that　all　her　self　were　flying　in　pursuit　of　her　words。　Nor　did　she　know　reticence：　before　any　one　she　would　disclose　her　mind；　and　no　force　could　compel　her　to　maintain　silence　when　she　desired　to　speak。　Also；　her　enchanting；　peculiar　gaita　gait　which　belonged　to　her　alonewas　so　absolutely　free　and　unfettered　that　every　one　involuntarily　gave　her　way。　Lastly；　in　her　presence　churls　seemed　to　become　confused　and　fall　to　silence；　and　even　the　roughest　and　most　outspoken　would　lose　their　heads；　and　have　not　a　word　to　say；　whereas　the　shy　man　would　find　himself　able　to　converse　as　never　in　his　life　before；　and　would　feel；　from　the　first；　as　though　he　had　seen　her　and　known　her　at　some　previous　periodduring　the　days　of　some　unremembered　childhood；　when　he　was　at　home；　and　spending　a　merry　evening　among　a　crowd　of　romping　children。　And　for　long　afterwards　he　would　feel　as　though　his　man's　intellect　and　estate　were　a　burden。

This　was　what　now　befell　Tientietnikov；　and　as　it　did　so　a　new　feeling　entered　into　his　soul；　and　his　dreamy　life　lightened　for　a　moment。

At　first　the　General　used　to　receive　him　with　hospitable　civility；　but　permanent　concord　between　them　proved　impossible；　their　conversation　always　merged　into　dissension　and　soreness；　seeing　that；　while　the　General　could　not　bear　to　be　contradicted　or　worsted　in　an　argument；　Tientietnikov　was　a　man　of　extreme　sensitiveness。　True；　for　the　daughter's　sake；　the　father　was　for　a　while　deferred　to；　and　thus　peace　was　maintained；　but　this　lasted　only　until　the　time　when　there　arrived；　on　a　visit　to　the　General；　two　kinswomen　of　histhe　Countess　Bordirev　and　the　Princess　Uziakin；　retired　Court　dames；　but　ladies　who　still　kept　up　a　certain　connection　with　Court　circles；　and　therefore　were　much　fawned　upon　by　their　host。　No　sooner　had　they　appeared　on　the　scene　than　（so　it　seemed　to　Tientietnikov）　the　General's　attitude　towards　the　young　man　became　coldereither　he　ceased　to　notice　him　at　all　or　he　spoke　to　him　familiarly；　and　as　to　a　person　having　no　standing　in　society。　This　offended　Tientietnikov　deeply；　and　though；　when　at　length　he　spoke　out　on　the　subject；　he　retained　sufficient　presence　of　mind　to　compress　his　lips；　and　to　preserve　a　gentle　and　courteous　tone；　his　face　flushed　and　his　inner　man　was　boiling。

〃General；〃　he　said；　〃I　thank　you　for　your　condescension。　By　addressing　me　in　the　second　person　singular；　you　have　admitted　me　to　the　circle　of　your　most　intimate　friends。　Indeed；　were　it　not　that　a　difference　of　years　forbids　any　familiarity　on　my　part；　I　should　answer　you　in　similar　fashion。〃

The　General　sat　aghast。　At　length；　rallying　his　tongue　and　his　faculties；　he　replied　that；　though　he　had　spoken　with　a　lack　of　ceremony；　he　had　used　the　term　〃thou〃　merely　as　an　elderly　man　naturally　employs　it　towards　a　junior　（he　made　no　reference　to　difference　of　rank）。

Nevertheless；　the　acquaintance　broke　off　here；　and　with　it　any　possibility　of　love…making。　The　light　which　had　shed　a　momentary　gleam　before　Tientietnikov's　eyes　had　become　extinguished　for　ever；　and　upon　it　there　followed　a　darkness　denser　than　before。　Henceforth　everything　conduced　to　evolve　the　regime　which　the　reader　has　notedthat　regime　of　sloth　and　inaction　which　converted　Tientietnikov's　residence　into　a　place　of　dirt　and　neglect。　For　days　at　a　time　would　a　broom　and　a　heap　of　dust　be　left　lying　in　the　middle　of　a　room；　and　trousers　tossing　about　the　salon；　and　pairs　of　worn…out　braces　adorning　the　what…not　near　the　sofa。　In　short；　so　mean　and　untidy　did　Tientietnikov's　mode　of　life　become；　that　not　only　his　servants；　but　even　his　very　poultry　ceased　to　treat　him　with　respect。　Taking　up　a　pen；　he　would　spend　hours　in　idly　sketching　houses；　huts；　waggons；　troikas；　and　flourishes　on　a　piece　of　paper；　while　at　other　times；　when　he　had　sunk　into　a　reverie；　the　pen　would；　all　unknowingly；　sketch　a　small　head　which　had　delicate　features；　a　pair　of　quick；　penetrating　eyes；　and　a　raised　coiffure。　Then　suddenly　the　dreamer　would　perceive；　to　his　surprise；　that　the　pen　had　executed　the　portrait　of　a　maiden　whose　picture　no　artist　could　adequately　have　painted；　and　therewith　his　despondency　would　become　greater　than　ever；　and；　believing　that　happiness　did　not　exist　on　earth；　he　would　relapse　into　increased　ennui；　increased　neglect　of　his　responsibilities。

But　one　morning　he　noticed；　on　moving　to　the　window　after　breakfast；　that　not　a　word　was　proceeding　either　from　the　butler　or　the　housekeeper；　but　that；　on　the　contrary；　the　courtyard　seemed　to　smack　of　a　certain　bustle　and　excitement。　This　was　because　through　the　entrance　gates　（which　the　kitchen　maid　and　the　scullion　had　run　to　open）　there　were　appearing　the　noses　of　three　horsesone　to　the　right；　one　in　the　middle；　and　one　to　the　left；　after　the　fashion　of　triumphal　groups　of　statuary。　Above　them；　on　the　box　seat；　were　seated　a　coachman　and　a　valet；　while　behind；　again；　there　could　be　discerned　a　gentleman　in　a　scarf　and　a　fur　cap。　Only　when　the　equipage　had　entered　the　courtyard　did　it　stand　revealed　as　a　light　spring　britchka。　And　as　it　came　to　a　halt；　there　leapt　on　to　the　verandah　of　the　mansion　an　individual　of　respectable　exterior；　and　possessed　of　the　art　of　moving　with　the　neatness　and　alertness　of　a　military　man。

Upon　this　Tientietnikov's　heart　stood　still。　He　was　unused　to　receiving　visitors；　and　for　the　moment　conceived　the　new　arrival　to　be　a　Government　official；　sent　to　question　him　concerning　an　abortive　society　to　which　he　had　formerly　belonged。　（Here　the　author　may　interpolate　the　fact　that；　in　Tientietnikov's　early　days；　the　young　man　had　become　mixed　up　in　a　very　absurd　affair。　That　is　to　say；　a　couple　of　philosophers　belonging　to　a　regiment　of　hussars　had；　together　with　an　aesthete　who　had　not　yet　completed　his　student's　course　and　a　gambler　who　had　squandered　his　all；　formed　a　secret　society　of　philanthropic　aims　under　the　presidency　of　a　certain　old　rascal　of　a　freemason　and　the　ruined　gambler　aforesaid。　The　scope　of　the　society's　work　was　to　be　extensive：　it　was　to　bring　lasting　happiness　to　humanity　at　large；　from　the　banks　of　the　Thames　to　the　shores　of　Kamtchatka。　But　for　this　much　money　was　needed：　wherefore　from　the　noble…minded　members　of　the　society　generous　contributions　were　demanded；　and　then　forwarded　to　a　destination　known　only　to　the　supreme　authorities　of　the　concern。　As　for　Tientietnikov's　adhesion；　it　was　brought　about　by　the　two　friends　already　alluded　to　as　〃embittered〃good…hearted　souls　whom　the　wear　and　tear　of　their　efforts　on　behalf　of　science；　civilisation；　and　the　future　emancipation　of　mankind　had　ended　by　converting　into　confirmed　drunkards。　Perhaps　it　need　hardly　be　said　that　Tientietnikov　soon　discovered　how　things　stood；　and　withdrew　from　the　association；　but；　meanwhile；　the　latter　had　had　the　misfortune　so　to　have　engaged　in　dealings　not　wholly　creditable　to　gentlemen　of　noble　origin　as　likewise　to　have　become　entangled　in　dealings　with　the　police。　Consequently；　it　is　not　to　be　wondered　at　that；　though　Tientietnikov　had　long　severed　his　connection　with　the　society　and　its　policy；　he　still　remained　uneasy　in　his　mind　as　to　what　might　even　yet　be　the　result。）

However；　his　fears　vanished　the　instant　that　the　guest　saluted　him　with　marked　politeness　and　explained；　with　many　deferential　pois