three men on the bummel-第27章

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At　Waldshut；　one　of　those　little　sixteenth…century　towns　through
which　the　Rhine　flows　during　its　earlier　course；　we　came　across
that　exceedingly　common　object　of　the　Continent：　　the　travelling
Briton　grieved　and　surprised　at　the　unacquaintance　of　the　foreigner
with　the　subtleties　of　the　English　language。　　When　we　entered　the
station　he　was；　in　very　fair　English；　though　with　a　slight
Somersetshire　accent；　explaining　to　a　porter　for　the　tenth　time；　as
he　informed　us；　the　simple　fact　that　though　he　himself　had　a　ticket
for　Donaueschingen；　and　wanted　to　go　to　Donaueschingen；　to　see　the
source　of　the　Danube；　which　is　not　there；　though　they　tell　you　it
is；　he　wished　his　bicycle　to　be　sent　on　to　Engen　and　his　bag　to
Constance；　there　to　await　his　arrival。　　He　was　hot　and　angry　with
the　effort　of　the　thing。　　The　porter　was　a　young　man　in　years；　but
at　the　moment　looked　old　and　miserable。　　I　offered　my　services。　　I
wish　now　I　had　notthough　not　so　fervently；　I　expect；　as　he；　the
speechless　one；　came　subsequently　to　wish　this。　　All　three　routes；
so　the　porter　explained　to　us；　were　complicated；　necessitating
changing　and　re…changing。　　There　was　not　much　time　for　calm
elucidation；　as　our　own　train　was　starting　in　a　few　minutes。　　The
man　himself　was　volublealways　a　mistake　when　anything　entangled
has　to　be　made　clear；　while　the　porter　was　only　too　eager　to　get
the　job　done　with　and　so　breathe　again。　　It　dawned　upon　me　ten
minutes　later；　when　thinking　the　matter　over　in　the　train；　that
though　I　had　agreed　with　the　porter　that　it　would　be　best　for　the
bicycle　to　go　by　way　of　Immendingen；　and　had　agreed　to　his　booking
it　to　Immendingen；　I　had　neglected　to　give　instructions　for　its
departure　from　Immendingen。　　Were　I　of　a　despondent　temperament　I
should　be　worrying　myself　at　the　present　moment　with　the　reflection
that　in　all　probability　that　bicycle　is　still　at　Immendingen　to
this　day。　　But　I　regard　it　as　good　philosophy　to　endeavour　always
to　see　the　brighter　side　of　things。　　Possibly　the　porter　corrected
my　omission　on　his　own　account；　or　some　simple　miracle　may　have
happened　to　restore　that　bicycle　to　its　owner　some　time　before　the
end　of　his　tour。　　The　bag　we　sent　to　Radolfzell：　　but　here　I
console　myself　with　the　recollection　that　it　was　labelled
Constance；　and　no　doubt　after　a　while　the　railway　authorities；
finding　it　unclaimed　at　Radolfzell；　forwarded　it　on　to　Constance。

But　all　this　is　apart　from　the　moral　I　wished　to　draw　from　the
incident。　　The　true　inwardness　of　the　situation　lay　in　the
indignation　of　this　Britisher　at　finding　a　German　railway　porter
unable　to　comprehend　English。　　The　moment　we　spoke　to　him　he
expressed　this　indignation　in　no　measured　terms。

〃Thank　you　very　much　indeed；〃　he　said；　〃it's　simple　enough。　　I　want
to　go　to　Donaueschingen　myself　by　train；　from　Donaueschingen　I　am
going　to　walk　to　Geisengen；　from　Geisengen　I　am　going　to　take　the
train　to　Engen；　and　from　Engen　I　am　going　to　bicycle　to　Constance。
But　I　don't　want　to　take　my　bag　with　me；　I　want　to　find　it　at
Constance　when　I　get　there。　　I　have　been　trying　to　explain　the
thing　to　this　fool　for　the　last　ten　minutes；　but　I　can't　get　it
into　him。〃

〃It　is　very　disgraceful；〃　I　agreed。　　〃Some　of　these　German　workmen
know　hardly　any　other　language　than　their　own。〃

〃I　have　gone　over　it　with　him；〃　continued　the　man；　〃on　the　time
table；　and　explained　it　by　pantomime。　　Even　then　I　could　not　knock
it　into　him。〃

〃I　can　hardly　believe　you；〃　I　again　remarked；　〃you　would　think　the
thing　explained　itself。〃

Harris　was　angry　with　the　man；　he　wished　to　reprove　him　for　his
folly　in　journeying　through　the　outlying　portions　of　a　foreign
clime；　and　seeking　in　such　to　accomplish　complicated　railway　tricks
without　knowing　a　word　of　the　language　of　the　country。　　But　I
checked　the　impulsiveness　of　Harris；　and　pointed　out　to　him　the
great　and　good　work　at　which　the　man　was　unconsciously　assisting。

Shakespeare　and　Milton　may　have　done　their　little　best　to　spread
acquaintance　with　the　English　tongue　among　the　less　favoured
inhabitants　of　Europe。　　Newton　and　Darwin　may　have　rendered　their
language　a　necessity　among　educated　and　thoughtful　foreigners。
Dickens　and　Ouida　（for　your　folk　who　imagine　that　the　literary
world　is　bounded　by　the　prejudices　of　New　Grub　Street；　would　be
surprised　and　grieved　at　the　position　occupied　abroad　by　this　at…
home…sneered…at　lady）　may　have　helped　still　further　to　popularise
it。　　But　the　man　who　has　spread　the　knowledge　of　English　from　Cape
St。　Vincent　to　the　Ural　Mountains　is　the　Englishman　who；　unable　or
unwilling　to　learn　a　single　word　of　any　language　but　his　own；
travels　purse　in　hand　into　every　corner　of　the　Continent。　　One　may
be　shocked　at　his　ignorance；　annoyed　at　his　stupidity；　angry　at　his
presumption。　　But　the　practical　fact　remains；　he　it　is　that　is
anglicising　Europe。　　For　him　the　Swiss　peasant　tramps　through　the
snow　on　winter　evenings　to　attend　the　English　class　open　in　every
village。　　For　him　the　coachman　and　the　guard；　the　chambermaid　and
the　laundress；　pore　over　their　English　grammars　and　colloquial
phrase　books。　　For　him　the　foreign　shopkeeper　and　merchant　send
their　sons　and　daughters　in　their　thousands　to　study　in　every
English　town。　　For　him　it　is　that　every　foreign　hotel…　and
restaurant…keeper　adds　to　his　advertisement：　　〃Only　those　with　fair
knowledge　of　English　need　apply。〃

Did　the　English…speaking　races　make　it　their　rule　to　speak　anything
else　than　English；　the　marvellous　progress　of　the　English　tongue
throughout　the　world　would　stop。　　The　English…speaking　man　stands
amid　the　strangers　and　jingles　his　gold。

〃Here；〃　cries；　〃is　payment　for　all　such　as　can　speak　English。〃

He　it　is　who　is　the　great　educator。　　Theoretically　we　may　scold
him；　practically　we　should　take　our　hats　off　to　him。　　He　is　the
missionary　of　the　English　tongue。



CHAPTER　XII



We　are　grieved　at　the　earthly　instincts　of　the　GermanA　superb
view；　but　no　restaurantContinental　opinion　of　the　Englishman
That　he　does　not　know　enough　to　come　in　out　of　the　rainThere
comes　a　weary　traveller　with　a　brickThe　hurting　of　the　dogAn
undesirable　family　residenceA　fruitful　regionA　merry　old　soul
comes　up　the　hillGeorge；　alarmed　at　the　lateness　of　the　hour；
hastens　down　the　other　sideHarris　follows　him；　to　show　him　the
wayI　hate　being　alone；　and　follow　HarrisPronunciation　specially
designed　for　use　of　foreigners。

A　thing　that　vexes　much　the　high…class　Anglo…Saxon　soul　is　the
earthly　instinct　prompting　the　German　to　fix　a　restaurant　at　the
goal　of　every　excursion。　　On　mountain　summit；　in　fairy　glen；　on
lonely　pass；　by　waterfall　or　winding　stream；　stands　ever　the　busy
Wirtschaft。　　How　can　one　rhapsodise　over　a　view　when　surrounded　by
beer…stained　tables？　　How　lose　one's　self　in　historical　reverie
amid　the　odour　of　roast　veal　and　spinach？

One　day；　on　elevating　thoughts　intent；　we　climbed　through　tangled
woods。

〃And　at　the　top；〃　said　Harris；　bitterly；　as　we　paused　to　breathe　a
space　and　pull　our　belts　a　hole　tighter；　〃there　will　be　a　gaudy
restaurant；　where　people　will　be　guzzling　beefsteaks　and　plum　tarts
and　drinking　white　wine。〃

〃Do　you　think　so？〃　said　George。

〃Sure　to　be；〃　answered　Harris；　〃you　know　their　way。　　Not　one　grove
will　they　consent　to　dedicate　to　solitude　and　contemplation；　not
one　height　will　they　leave　to　the　lover　of　nature　unpolluted　by　the
gross　and　the　material。〃

〃I　calculate；〃　I　remarked；　〃that　we　shall　be　there　a　little　before
one　o'clock；　provided　we　don't　dawdle。〃

〃The　'mittagstisch'　will　be　just　ready；〃　groaned　Harris；　〃with
possibly　some　of　those　little　blue　trout　they　catch　about　here。　　In
Germany　one　never　seems　able　to　get　away　from　food　and　drink。　　It
is　maddening！〃

We　pushed　on；　and　in　the　beauty　of　the　walk　forgot　our　indignation。
My　estimate　proved　to　be　correct。

At　a　quarter　to　one；　said　Harris；　who　was　leading：

〃Here　we　are；　I　can　see　the　summit。〃

〃Any　sign　of　that　restaurant？〃　said　George。

〃I　don't　notice　it；〃　replied　Harris；　〃but　it's　there；　you　may　be
sure；　confound　it！〃

Five　minutes　later　we　stood　upon　the　top。　　We　looked　north；　south；
east　and　west；　then　we　looked　at　one　another。

〃Grand　view；　isn't　it？〃　said　Harris。

〃Magnificent；〃　I　agreed。

〃Superb；〃　remarked　George。

〃They　have　had　the　good　sense　for　once；〃　said　Harris；　〃to　put　that
restaurant　out　of　sight。〃

〃They　do　seem　to　have　hidden　it；〃　said　George。　　〃One　doesn't　mind
the　thing　so　much　when　it　is　not　forced　under　one's　nose；〃　said
Harris。

〃Of　course；　in　its　place；〃　I　observed；　〃a　restaurant　is　right
enough。〃

〃I　should　like　to　know　where　they　have　put　it；〃　said　George。

〃Suppose　we　look　for　it？〃　said　Harris；　with　inspiration。

It　seemed　a　good　idea。　　I　felt　curious　myself。　　We　agreed　to
explore　in　different　directions；　returning　to　the　summit　to　report
progress。　　In　half　an　hour　we　stood　together　once　again。　　There　was
no　need　for　words。　　The　face　of　one　and　all　of　us　announced　plainly
that　at　last　we　had　discovered　a　recess　of　German　nature
untarnished　by　the　sordid　suggestion　of　food　or　drink。

〃I　should　never　have　believed　it　possible；〃　said　Harris：　　〃would
you？〃

〃I　should　say；〃　I　replied；　〃that　this　is　the　only　square　quarter　of
a　mile　in　the　entire　Fatherland　unprovided　with　one。〃

〃And　we　three　strangers　have　struck　it；〃　said　George；　〃without　an
effort。〃

〃True；〃　I　observed。　　〃By　pure　good　fortune　we　are　now　enabled　to
feast　our　finer　senses　undisturbed　by　appeal　to　our　lower　nature。
Observe　the　light　upon　those　distant　peaks；　is　it　not　ravishing？〃

〃Talking　of　nature；〃　said　George；　〃which　should　you　say　was　the
nearest　way　down？〃

〃The　road　to　the　left；〃　I　replied；　after　consulting　the　guide　book；
〃takes　us　to　Sonnensteigwhere；　by…the…by；　I　observe　the　'Goldener
Adler'　is　well　spoken　ofin　about　two　hours。　　The　road　to　the
right；　though　somewhat　longer；　commands　more　extensive　prospects。〃

〃One　prospect；〃　said　Harris；　〃is　very　much　like　another　prospect；
don't　you　think　so？〃

〃Personally；〃　said　George；　〃I　am　going　by　the　left…hand　road。〃　　And
Harris　and　I　went　after　him。

But　we　were　not　to　get　down　so　soon　as　we　had　anticipated。　　Storms
come　quickly　in　these　regions；　and　before　we　had　walked　for　quarter
of　an　hour　it　became　a　question　of　seeking　shelter　or　living　for
the　rest　of　the　day　in　soaked　clothes。　　We　decided　on　the　former
alternative；　and　selected　a　tree　that；　under　ordinary
circumstances；　should　have　been　ample　protection。　　But　a　Black
Forest　thunderstorm　is　not　an　ordinary　circumstance。　　We　consoled
ourselves　at　first　by　telling　each　other　that　at　such　a　rate　it
could　not　last　long。　　Next；　we　endeavoured　to　comfort　ourselves
with　the　reflection　that　if　it　did　we　should　soon　be　too　wet　to
fear　getting　wetter。

〃As　it　turned　out；〃　said　Harris；　〃I　should　have　been　almost　glad　if
there　had　been　a　restaurant　up　here。〃

〃I　see　no　advantage　in　being　both　wet　AND　hungry；〃　said　George。　　〃I
shall　give　it　another　five　minutes；　then　I　am　going　on。〃

〃These　mountain　solitudes；〃　I　remarked；　〃are　very　attractive　in
fine　weather。　　On　a　rainy　day；　especially　if　you　happen　to　be　past
the　age　when〃

At　this　point　there　hailed　us　a　voice；　proceedin