three men on the bummel-第31章

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duel；　I　must　confess；　my　finer　feelings　began　to　disappear；　and　by
the　time　the　third　was　well　upon　its　way；　and　the　room　heavy　with
the　curious　hot　odour　of　blood；　I　began；　as　the　American　expression
is；　to　see　things　red。

I　wanted　more。　　I　looked　from　face　to　face　surrounding　me；　and　in
most　of　them　I　found　reflected　undoubtedly　my　own　sensations。　　If
it　be　a　good　thing　to　excite　this　blood　thirst　in　the　modern　man；
then　the　Mensur　is　a　useful　institution。　　But　is　it　a　good　thing？
We　prate　about　our　civilisation　and　humanity；　but　those　of　us　who
do　not　carry　hypocrisy　to　the　length　of　self…deception　know　that
underneath　our　starched　shirts　there　lurks　the　savage；　with　all　his
savage　instincts　untouched。　　Occasionally　he　may　be　wanted；　but　we
never　need　fear　his　dying　out。　　On　the　other　hand；　it　seems　unwise
to　over…nourish　him。

In　favour　of　the　duel；　seriously　considered；　there　are　many　points
to　be　urged。　　But　the　Mensur　serves　no　good　purpose　whatever。　　It
is　childishness；　and　the　fact　of　its　being　a　cruel　and　brutal　game
makes　it　none　the　less　childish。　　Wounds　have　no　intrinsic　value　of
their　own；　it　is　the　cause　that　dignifies　them；　not　their　size。
William　Tell　is　rightly　one　of　the　heroes　of　the　world；　but　what
should　we　think　of　the　members　of　a　club　of　fathers；　formed　with
the　object　of　meeting　twice　a　week　to　shoot　apples　from　their　sons'
heads　with　cross…bows？　　These　young　German　gentlemen　could　obtain
all　the　results　of　which　they　are　so　proud　by　teasing　a　wild　cat！
To　join　a　society　for　the　mere　purpose　of　getting　yourself　hacked
about　reduces　a　man　to　the　intellectual　level　of　a　dancing　Dervish。
Travellers　tell　us　of　savages　in　Central　Africa　who　express　their
feelings　on　festive　occasions　by　jumping　about　and　slashing
themselves。　　But　there　is　no　need　for　Europe　to　imitate　them。　　The
Mensur　is；　in　fact；　the　reductio　ad　absurdum　of　the　duel；　and　if
the　Germans　themselves　cannot　see　that　it　is　funny；　one　can　only
regret　their　lack　of　humour。

But　though　one　may　be　unable　to　agree　with　the　public　opinion　that
supports　and　commands　the　Mensur；　it　at　least　is　possible　to
understand。　　The　University　code　that；　if　it　does　not　encourage　it；
at　least　condones　drunkenness；　is　more　difficult　to　treat
argumentatively。　　All　German　students　do　not　get　drunk；　in　fact；
the　majority　are　sober；　if　not　industrious。　　But　the　minority；
whose　claim　to　be　representative　is　freely　admitted；　are　only　saved
from　perpetual　inebriety　by　ability；　acquired　at　some　cost；　to
swill　half　the　day　and　all　the　night；　while　retaining　to　some
extent　their　five　senses。　　It　does　not　affect　all　alike；　but　it　is
common　in　any　University　town　to　see　a　young　man　not　yet　twenty
with　the　figure　of　a　Falstaff　and　the　complexion　of　a　Rubens
Bacchus。　　That　the　German　maiden　can　be　fascinated　with　a　face；　cut
and　gashed　till　it　suggests　having　been　made　out　of　odd　materials
that　never　could　have　fitted；　is　a　proved　fact。　　But　surely　there
can　be　no　attraction　about　a　blotched　and　bloated　skin　and　a　〃bay
window〃　thrown　out　to　an　extent　threatening　to　overbalance　the
whole　structure。　　Yet　what　else　can　be　expected；　when　the　youngster
starts　his　beer…drinking　with　a　〃Fruhschoppen〃　at　10　a。m。；　and
closes　it　with　a　〃Kneipe〃　at　four　in　the　morning？

The　Kneipe　is　what　we　should　call　a　stag　party；　and　can　be　very
harmless　or　very　rowdy；　according　to　its　composition。　　One　man
invites　his　fellow…students；　a　dozen　or　a　hundred；　to　a　cafe；　and
provides　them　with　as　much　beer　and　as　many　cheap　cigars　as　their
own　sense　of　health　and　comfort　may　dictate；　or　the　host　may　be　the
Korps　itself。　　Here；　as　everywhere；　you　observe　the　German　sense　of
discipline　and　order。　　As　each　new　comer　enters　all　those　sitting
round　the　table　rise；　and　with　heels　close　together　salute。　　When
the　table　is　complete；　a　chairman　is　chosen；　whose　duty　it　is　to
give　out　the　number　of　the　songs。　　Printed　books　of　these　songs；
one　to　each　two　men；　lie　round　the　table。　　The　chairman　gives　out
number　twenty…nine。　　〃First　verse；〃　he　cries；　and　away　all　go；　each
two　men　holding　a　book　between　them　exactly　as　two　people　might
hold　a　hymn…book　in　church。　　There　is　a　pause　at　the　end　of　each
verse　until　the　chairman　starts　the　company　on　the　next。　　As　every
German　is　a　trained　singer；　and　as　most　of　them　have　fair　voices；
the　general　effect　is　striking。

Although　the　manner　may　be　suggestive　of　the　singing　of　hymns　in
church；　the　words　of　the　songs　are　occasionally　such　as　to　correct
this　impression。　　But　whether　it　be　a　patriotic　song；　a　sentimental
ballad；　or　a　ditty　of　a　nature　that　would　shock　the　average　young
Englishman；　all　are　sung　through　with　stern　earnestness；　without　a
laugh；　without　a　false　note。　　At　the　end；　the　chairman　calls
〃Prosit！〃　　Everyone　answers　〃Prosit！〃　and　the　next　moment　every
glass　is　empty。　　The　pianist　rises　and　bows；　and　is　bowed　to　in
return；　and　then　the　Fraulein　enters　to　refill　the　glasses。

Between　the　songs；　toasts　are　proposed　and　responded　to；　but　there
is　little　cheering；　and　less　laughter。　　Smiles　and　grave　nods　of
approval　are　considered　as　more　seeming　among　German　students。

A　particular　toast；　called　a　Salamander；　accorded　to　some　guest　as
a　special　distinction；　is　drunk　with　exceptional　solemnity。

〃We　will　now；〃　says　the　chairman；　〃a　Salamander　rub〃　　（〃Einen
Salamander　reiben〃）。　　We　all　rise；　and　stand　like　a　regiment　at
attention。

〃Is　the　stuff　prepared？〃　　（〃Sind　die　stoffe　parat？〃）　demands　the
chairman。

〃Sunt；〃　we　answer；　with　one　voice。

〃Ad　exercitium　Salamandri；〃　says　the　chairman；　and　we　are　ready。

〃Eins！〃　　We　rub　our　glasses　with　a　circular　motion　on　the　table。

〃Zwei！〃　　Again　the　glasses　growl；　also　at　〃Drei！〃

〃Drink！〃　　（〃Bibite！〃）

And　with　mechanical　unison　every　glass　is　emptied　and　held　on　high。

〃Eins！〃　says　the　chairman。　　The　foot　of　every　empty　glass　twirls
upon　the　table；　producing　a　sound　as　of　the　dragging　back　of　a
stony　beach　by　a　receding　wave。

〃Zwei！〃　　The　roll　swells　and　sinks　again。

〃Drei！〃　　The　glasses　strike　the　table　with　a　single　crash；　and　we
are　in　our　seats　again。

The　sport　at　the　Kneipe　is　for　two　students　to　insult　each　other
（in　play；　of　course）；　and　to　then　challenge　each　other　to　a
drinking　duel。　　An　umpire　is　appointed；　two　huge　glasses　are
filled；　and　the　men　sit　opposite　each　other　with　their　hands　upon
the　handles；　all　eyes　fixed　upon　them。　　The　umpire　gives　the　word
to　go；　and　in　an　instant　the　beer　is　gurgling　down　their　throats。
The　man　who　bangs　his　perfectly　finished　glass　upon　the　table　first
is　victor。

Strangers　who　are　going　through　a　Kneipe；　and　who　wish　to　do　the
thing　in　German　style；　will　do　well；　before　commencing　proceedings；
to　pin　their　name　and　address　upon　their　coats。　　The　German　student
is　courtesy　itself；　and　whatever　his　own　state　may　be；　he　will　see
to　it　that；　by　some　means　or　another；　his　guest　gets　safely　home
before　the　morning。　　But；　of　course；　he　cannot　be　expected　to
remember　addresses。

A　story　was　told　me　of　three　guests　to　a　Berlin　Kneipe　which　might
have　had　tragic　results。　　The　strangers　determined　to　do　the　thing
thoroughly。　　They　explained　their　intention；　and　were　applauded；
and　each　proceeded　to　write　his　address　upon　his　card；　and　pin　it
to　the　tablecloth　in　front　of　him。　　That　was　the　mistake　they　made。
They　should；　as　I　have　advised；　have　pinned　it　carefully　to　their
coats。　　A　man　may　change　his　place　at　a　table；　quite　unconsciously
he　may　come　out　the　other　side　of　it；　but　wherever　he　goes　he　takes
his　coat　with　him。

Some　time　in　the　small　hours；　the　chairman　suggested　that　to　make
things　more　comfortable　for　those　still　upright；　all　the　gentlemen
unable　to　keep　their　heads　off　the　table　should　be　sent　home。
Among　those　to　whom　the　proceedings　had　become　uninteresting　were
the　three　Englishmen。　　It　was　decided　to　put　them　into　a　cab　in
charge　of　a　comparatively　speaking　sober　student；　and　return　them。
Had　they　retained　their　original　seats　throughout　the　evening　all
would　have　been　well；　but；　unfortunately；　they　had　gone　walking
about；　and　which　gentleman　belonged　to　which　card　nobody　knew
least　of　all　the　guests　themselves。　　In　the　then　state　of　general
cheerfulness；　this　did　not　to　anybody　appear　to　much　matter。　　There
were　three　gentlemen　and　three　addresses。　　I　suppose　the　idea　was
that　even　if　a　mistake　were　made；　the　parties　could　be　sorted　out
in　the　morning。　　Anyhow；　the　three　gentlemen　were　put　into　a　cab；
the　comparatively　speaking　sober　student　took　the　three　cards　in
his　hand；　and　the　party　started　amid　the　cheers　and　good　wishes　of
the　company。

There　is　this　advantage　about　German　beer：　　it　does　not　make　a　man
drunk　as　the　word　drunk　is　understood　in　England。　　There　is　nothing
objectionable　about　him；　he　is　simply　tired。　　He　does　not　want　to
talk；　he　wants　to　be　let　alone；　to　go　to　sleep；　it　does　not　matter
whereanywhere。

The　conductor　of　the　party　stopped　his　cab　at　the　nearest　address。
He　took　out　his　worst　case；　it　was　a　natural　instinct　to　get　rid　of
that　first。　　He　and　the　cabman　carried　it　upstairs；　and　rang　the
bell　of　the　Pension。　　A　sleepy　porter　answered　it。　　They　carried
their　burden　in；　and　looked　for　a　place　to　drop　it。　　A　bedroom　door
happened　to　be　open；　the　room　was　empty；　could　anything　be　better？…
…they　took　it　in　there。　　They　relieved　it　of　such　things　as　came
off　easily；　and　laid　it　in　the　bed。　　This　done；　both　men；　pleased
with　themselves；　returned　to　the　cab。

At　the　next　address　they　stopped　again。　　This　time；　in　answer　to
their　summons；　a　lady　appeared；　dressed　in　a　tea　gown；　with　a　book
in　her　hand。　　The　German　student　looked　at　the　top　one　of　two　cards
remaining　in　his　hand；　and　enquired　if　he　had　the　pleasure　of
addressing　Frau　Y。　　It　happened　that　he　had；　though　so　far　as　any
pleasure　was　concerned　that　appeared　to　be　entirely　on　his　side。
He　explained　to　Frau　Y。　that　the　gentleman　at　that　moment　asleep
against　the　wall　was　her　husband。　　The　reunion　moved　her　to　no
enthusiasm；　she　simply　opened　the　bedroom　door；　and　then　walked
away。　　The　cabman　and　the　student　took　him　in；　and　laid　him　on　the
bed。　　They　did　not　trouble　to　undress　him；　they　were　feeling　tired！
They　did　not　see　the　lady　of　the　house　again；　and　retired　therefore
without　adieus。

The　last　card　was　that　of　a　bachelor　stopping　at　an　hotel。　　They
took　their　last　man；　therefore；　to　that　hotel；　passed　him　over　to
the　night　porter；　and　left　him。

To　return　to　the　address　at　which　the　first　delivery　was　made；　what
had　happened　there　was　this。　　Some　eight　hours　previously　had　said
Mr。　X。　to　Mrs。　X。：　　〃I　think　I　told　you；　my　dear；　that　I　had　an
invitation　for　this　evening　to　what；　I　believe；　is　called　a
Kneipe？〃

〃You　did　mention　something　of　the　sort；〃　replied　Mrs。　X。　　〃What　is
a　Kneipe？〃

〃Well；　it's　a　sort　of　bachelor　party；　my　dear；　where　the　students
meet　to　sing　and　talk　andand　smoke；　and　all　that　sort　of　thing；
you　know。〃

〃Oh；　well；　I　hope　you　will　enjoy　yourself！〃　said　Mrs。　X。；　who　was　a
nice　woman　and　sensible。

〃It　will　be　interesting；〃　observed　Mr。　X。　　〃I　have　often　had　a
curiosity　to　see　one。　　I　may；〃　continued　Mr。　X。；〃I　mean　it　is
possible；　that　I　may　be　home　a　litt